by D. S. Murphy
I did my best to smile and keep my mood positive. Soon I was telling them about Mr. Cahir’s antics in the drama department, and we had a good laugh about it. Derry seemed uncharacteristically energetic, I guessed he had a secret of his own.
“You seem… really happy tonight,” I told him. “Almost glowing. Did something happen?”
“Derry has news,” Jackie said. She nodded at him, prompting him to share.
“Well, it’s just that… I met this guy,” he said, eyeing me for a reaction. Jackie was right. I gave him a warm smile, and he looked relieved and continued.
“We met at a club, last weekend, and hit it off. Went out for a date last night. And…I really like him.”
“That’s great,” I said, smiling, though I had to force it a little bit. At least somebody is finding romance. “What’s he like?”
“Older, in his twenties. Handsome. Well dressed. He says he’s a banker but he never seems to be working.” Derry pulled out his phone and showed us a picture. “His name’s Trevor.” I nodded, letting Derry share. The guy was handsome, but I was hardly paying attention. I couldn’t stop thinking about the note I’d gotten from Barbara Dubbs. And she said she had something for me, maybe something my mom left for me? The note had told me to come alone, but it seemed foolish not to tell anyone where I was going. I was about to pull it out and show it to them when I heard Roisin’s voice. I leaned out of the booth, but froze when I saw who she was with. Sebastian.
I ducked back into the booth, trying to ignore the pain in my chest and my trouble breathing. What was he doing here… with her? I gripped the edges of the table tightly. The room started spinning.
Jackie peeked out of the booth and saw them too.
“Oh, honey…” She reached across the table and squeezed my hand. “Maybe they’re just friends.”
“Should we ask them to sit with us, or would that be… really awkward?” Derry asked.
I shrugged. I was too stunned to speak.
“Let’s just pretend we didn’t see them,” Jackie said.
I tried to shrug it off, but I couldn’t concentrate on the conversation anymore. I kept poking my head out of the booth to spy on them, and strained my neck eavesdropping.
Why should I even care who Sebastian goes out with? It’s not like we were together. But Roisin?
After a few minutes I looked up and saw Roisin lean in close to him, her perfect curls brushing against his flawless skin, whispering into his ear.
I felt like smashing the table in half. Although I had no right to feel it, I couldn’t control my rage. At that moment, all the salt shakers in the café, on every table, started wobbling and spinning, filling the room up with a warbling hum. I was practically shaking. Was I doing this?
“I’m sorry, I need to get home,” I panted, sliding out of the booth quickly. “I’ll see you at school tomorrow.”
I charged straight past Sebastian and Roisin and rushed out of the coffee shop, slamming the doors behind me. I’d just gotten on my bike and flipped up the kickstand when Sebastian grabbed the handlebars, blocking my path.
“Roisin asked me to meet her here,” he said. “There’s nothing going on between us.”
“I know what I saw,” I said. “She’s enamored with you.”
“I can’t control that, humans are attracted to our kind.”
“Poor you. It must be hard, having girls throw themselves at you all the time,” I said, narrowing my eyes.
“I can’t help the way they react to me… just as you can’t help the way they react to you. Face it, you’re different now. Anyway, we were talking about you.”
Roisin and Sebastian were talking about me?
I scoffed and rolled my eyes.
“She warned me to be careful around you, because you’re different. She told me you were a witch. That you had magical powers. I was trying to talk her out of that idea, when your little display inside interrupted us.”
“Get out of my way.” I tried to push the bicycle forward, but it didn’t budge. Sebastian’s grip was like a vise.
He leaned closer, inches from my face. “You have to learn to control your emotions,” he whispered softly. “Public outbursts like this are going to get you killed.” Was he threatening me?
I shoved him out of the way, much harder than I’d expected. As he stumbled backwards, I jumped on the bike and pedaled away furiously.
17
On Saturday I convinced Aedan to let me take a bus by myself to Portrush. He offered to drive but I said I needed to learn the bus system. I could have biked it—it was only about four miles—but I didn’t want to ride home alone after dark. I told him Jackie and Patricia were going with me. Girl’s day. Shopping trip. I hated lying, but Barbara told me to come alone, and I needed time to clear my head before meeting her.
I thought I’d be able to handle Sebastian’s rejection gracefully, but instead I’d had two public altercations with him. The second, a jealous outburst which—thanks to Roisin—was sure to be on everyone’s lips at school on Monday. How did I become that girl? I was always so good at keeping my feelings bottled up.
I was certain Sebastian was keeping secrets from me—and that made him a dangerous mystery. Why did he keep talking about humans like he wasn’t one? And what did he know about Bedelia that he wasn’t sharing? Did it have anything to do with why my mother left Ireland, or how Colin died, or what really happened with my grandmother?
And then there was that thing with the Gatorade, and the salt shakers in the café. Both happened when I was upset. Sebastian said I needed to control my emotions. But why? I’d tried moving all sorts of objects with my mind, but I could never do it on purpose. What was the connection?
Getting upset about high school drama felt self-centered when there were so many other things that should bother me more. I was sick of how clueless I was about everything. I hoped Barbara would have some answers.
I got into Portrush early to do some research; there was an antique bookstore in town I’d looked up online. Maybe I could discover something new before my meeting. The smell of musty old books and leather greeted me when I pushed the door open. Stacks of books were piled high against the walls, and in the back of the store were glass cases with leather bound manuscripts. The wooden floorboards bounced under my feet as I approached the desk.
“Do you have anything on the Fomorians?” I asked the clerk. “I’m looking for something that talks about where they came from.”
He peered up at me over his glasses. At first I thought he was going to refuse to help me, but then he took a good look at me and he gave me a dopey smile. With my new beauty, I realized, I was going to get what I wanted most of the time. I wasn’t sure how I felt about that. He walked to the glass cabinets in the back and unlocked them. I had a feeling he wasn’t supposed to.
“This one was written in 1882, so be careful with it,” he said.
I almost dropped the book when I saw the title.
Atlantis, the Antediluvian World, by Ignatius Donnelly
“Wait—this is about Atlantis. That can’t be right.”
“Check out chapter seven.” He grinned, gesturing to a study area with benches and tables.
I sat down and flipped open the heavy tome, leafing through the pages until I found the right section.
CHAPTER VII
THE IRISH COLONIES FROM ATLANTIS
In the Irish historic tales called “Catha; or Battles,” as given by the learned O’Curry, a record is preserved of a real battle which was fought between the Tuatha-de-Dananns and the Fir Bolgs, from which it appears that these two races spoke the same language, and that they were intimately connected with the Fomorians. These particulars would show the race-identity of the Fir-Bolg and Tuatha-de-Dananns; and also their intimate connection, if not identity with, the Fomorians.
I skimmed the rest of the chapter. According to Donnelly, the Fomorians were early Atlanteans—whatever that meant. When Atlantis sank, some of them had escaped in ships, a
nd landed in Ireland, where they offered sacrifices to Poseidon, the founder of their civilization.
And they liked silver, which they seemed to be able to use in miraculous ways. Sailing in silver ships? A king with a silver hand, capable of moving fingers? I was so absorbed in the book I didn’t realize the light was dimming. It was almost 4pm. I put the book back and practically ran for the pier. I got there just in time. There were a few people walking around, eating ice cream or popcorn. Some fishermen sat on the end of the pier casting out lines. Why meet way out here? I wished I knew what Barbara looked like.
As I waited, I tried to organize all the questions I wanted to ask. Whether my mom had gone through these changes as well, and how she handled them. About Phyllis and where she came from. What really happened with Colin. Ten minutes passed, then another ten. The pier was thinning out, but still I waited. As my mind wandered, my awareness slowly reached out under the water, almost subconsciously. I’d felt a connection with the ocean since my birthday, but now that I was right above it, I could sense things deep below the surface. I suddenly realized I could feel a host of underwater creatures. To my left there was a small school of sleek silver fish, about five inches long. A handful of shrimp and a grumpy old lobster scurried across the sandy bottom. I could feel the currents and waves of the ocean and how they interacted with the flora. It was incredible. I reached my hand out over the water.
I called out with my mind, instinctively. Almost immediately the school of fish started jumping, one at a time at first, then two or three together, then more and more. Soon it was like a silver rainbow of flying fish, and I was their conductor. I laughed out loud. I was so amazed at was happening, I didn’t notice I wasn’t alone until I saw the flash of the knife.
Time seemed to slow down, and for an instant I saw the weapon clearly—a dark, gleaming blade with a white handle, engraved with intricate symbols that spiraled down its length. I watched it slash my arm, cutting a deep gash. Before I could feel the pain, someone shoved me from behind and I stumbled off the edge of the pier. I fell forward into the water, flailing my arms and legs. The fish I had controlled a moment before swam in a frenzied circle around me, as my blood flowed like thick red ink into the water.
I tried to kick back up to the surface, but my clothes, heavy with water, pulled me down into the darkness. I was going to drown. Already my lungs were bursting from trying to hold my breath, and I was seeing stars.
Wait, not stars. My befuddled brain protested. There was a colorful sparkle, all around me, but especially on my cut arm. I was sparkling, shining in a prism of colors, like a Christmas tree. And then—just before everything went dark—I thought I saw Sebastian, down here with me in the murky depths.
18
I woke up gasping for air and clutching my throat. The last thing I remembered was being in the water, the colorful lights against the darkness. And then… Sebastian. But how much of it was real?
I was in my bed, at Aedan’s house, wearing boxers and a Hello Kitty tank top. My hair was dry. How did I get here? I remembered the bite of the knife as it cut into my arm; the blood oozing from the wound just before I was pushed into the water. But both my arms were perfectly smooth. I couldn’t find the slightest mark. Had I dreamed it all?
I got up and put on a burgundy skirt with gray tights, and a dark green knit sweater. The landscape out my window was foggy and wet. I could barely see to the ocean. I put my fingertips to the window and watched my breath fog up the glass.
“Morning, sleepy head,” Aedan said as I left my bedroom.
“Hey, what time is it?”
“Almost eleven.”
It was Sunday morning.
“Oh. Um, do you know what time I came home yesterday?”
“Around 8pm I think. You must have come in without me noticing; I was getting worried about you but I checked your room to get Patricia’s phone number and you were already in bed sleeping. How was Portrush?” He handed me a cup of coffee.
So I had gone to Portrush yesterday, to meet Barbara Dubbs. Which meant, everything else had probably happened as I remembered it. I shivered, recalling the flash of the knife, and sinking into the water—my worst nightmare come true. I pictured my body, laid out on the pier, framed in a ring of flowers. I shook my head to clear my thoughts. Someone tried to kill me. Why wasn’t I dead right now? At the very least, I should be bruised and traumatized. Instead I felt… pretty good.
I realized Aedan was still waiting for an answer.
“Um, good. Fun,” I said.
“Do you have plans for the day? Homework?”
Sebastian’s face flashed through my mind again. He was swimming towards me through the darkness, the strange colored sparkles lighting up his face. But that couldn’t have really happened, could it? I wasn’t going to be able to think about anything else—least of all homework—until I got some answers.
“I think I’ll go visit a friend,” I said. “You?”
“Gotta finish a house,” Aedan grumbled. “Without disturbing Mrs. Miller’s flower bushes.”
I nodded, even though I didn’t know or care who Mrs. Miller was. Before I left, I grabbed the strand of pearls from my desk and wrapped them around my wrist. I wasn’t sure why, but they made me feel safe.
I took the bike through town in the direction Derry had driven us. The fog grew thicker outside of town, until I could barely see a few yards in front of me. I found the turnoff, but I couldn’t see the Runkerry house until I got close to it. Then it loomed out of the fog like the bow of a great ship. There was a raven sitting on the black iron fence. At first I thought it was a statue I hadn’t noticed before, but when I wheeled up it opened its black wings slowly, stared at me for a minute, then took off. I watched it flap away until it disappeared into the fog. I thought of Mr. Cahir’s performance in drama, but somehow it didn’t seem funny anymore.
Then I realized I didn’t have Sebastian’s phone number. Jackie had added him as a friend on Facebook, but for some reason I hadn’t. There were no buttons on the front gate, and it was locked. I stood there for a few minutes, feeling stupid. I considered shouting his name, or climbing over the fence, but both seemed extreme. And what exactly was I going to say, anyway? I was just turning my bike around when I heard a voice behind me.
“Leaving already?”
Sebastian was leaning against the gate, looking overdressed as always in a navy blue jacket, a tan vest, checkered shirt and dark jeans. I’m sure he wasn’t there a moment ago. The last time I saw him, he told me I was going to get myself killed. My brain screamed at me that he could be my attacker, but somehow in my heart I knew it wasn’t true.
“We need to talk,” I said.
“Want to come inside?” he said, unlocking the gate and swinging it open. I pictured us sitting on the couch awkwardly.
“Can we take a walk?” I suggested.
He shrugged and gestured towards a path that led along the coast. As we neared the water, the wind grew stronger. My hair blew across my face and I pulled it to the side, wishing I’d brought the red ribbon to tie it up.
Sebastian pulled up his collar. His figure cut a stark silhouette against the rugged terrain of the Irish coast, and the swirls of mist around us. We both seemed to be waiting for the other to speak first.
“What happened yesterday?” I asked finally.
“How much do you remember?” he replied.
“Somebody tried to kill me… and you, I think you saved me.” I didn’t offer the other possibility—that he’d been the one to push me in.
As we approached the water, the roar of the ocean made us raise our voices. I thought he was going to deny it, but finally he nodded.
“You are far too interesting to let die.”
“You saved my life because you think I’m interesting?”
“Well, more like mildly irritating,” he said. “Maybe vexing is a better word for it.”
“How did you even know where I was?”
“I saw you leave y
our house— ” Sebastian said, looking guilty.
“You were following me?” He nodded. I didn’t know whether to feel flattered or disgusted.
I decided to push on. “I was in the water, and I saw lights. Sparkling, colorful lights,” I continued. “And I know you’re going to blow it off or say it was oxygen deprivation, but I didn’t imagine the hands that pushed me in the water, or the knife that cut me. That was real. If I’m in danger, I deserve to know why, and I think you have the answers.”
Sebastian’s eyes were greener than I’d ever seen them when he turned to look at me. “You don’t know what you’re asking—”
“I’m asking for the truth.”
“Sometimes, ignorance is a happier choice.”
“Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.” I threw back at him—a quote I’d memorized years ago.
Sebastian sighed and crossed his arms. “If I tell you, you’ll never be able to go back to the person you were before. You’ll change.”
“Look at me.” I pointed to my eyes and tugged my hair. “I’m already changed.”
He didn’t answer, and I could tell he was wrestling with himself.
“Listen, I’m scared and I don’t know what’s happening to me. But it seems like you do. So if you want to protect me, if you want me to be careful, then tell me the truth.”
“You’ll hate me when you know,” he said softly, peering out over the ocean. “You might hate yourself.”
I grabbed his arm and pulled him closer, so I could look into his eyes.
“What am I?” I demanded.
The wind and water pounding through the nearby rocks sounded like a human scream.
He furled his eyebrows, and I thought for a second he was going to yell at me. But then he slumped his shoulders.
“The old term is merrow. Sometimes called Fomori, or sea people. Popularly known as mermaids.”