by D. S. Murphy
“You’re cute when you pout,” Sebastian laughed, glancing over at me. “Fine, I won’t go to school anymore. I was thinking of dropping out anyway. Happy?” he asked.
I bit my lip, but nodded. It did make me feel a little better, and I hadn’t really wanted Sebastian to leave. For some reason, riding with him along the Irish coast, I just couldn’t stay scared. There were things to be afraid of, sure. But there was also so much to be excited about. Like learning to swim, so I could become a freaking mermaid.
At first I’d suggested a bathtub filled with salt water, but Sebastian said it wasn’t the same as real sea water. Plus we both needed to fit in it. The trouble was finding a place that was free from spectators. He suggested swimming at night, when it was dark, which seemed particularly stupid to me. There were stretches of beaches between the cliffs that were only accessible by boat—I wasn’t keen on that idea. Plus I was adamant about starting out in shallow water, not more than two feet.
“Where are we going?” I asked, as Sebastian pulled into the parking area for Dunluce Castle. We’re going to swim here? Sebastian turned off the car and we got out.
“It’s closed,” I said, nodding to the sign showing the opening hours.
“Perfect, no tourists.” He grinned and grabbed my hand, pulling me forward. The sky was cerulean blue with a scattering of puffy white clouds; it contrasted perfectly with the bright green grass covering the ground. The crumbling ruins, which were orange-gray, cast dramatic shadows in the late afternoon light. The gates leading to the narrow bridge were closed and locked with a heavy chain, but Sebastian lowered himself down over the ledge to a small path below. Then he turned back and held out his arms to help me down.
I hesitated, but then reached out to him. His hands ran up the sides of my body as I slid down, and he caught me by the arms when I landed. The ancient castle walls loomed above us, the vacant spaces where the windows and doors used to be watched us trespass. We followed the trail until we were directly under the bridge, which was supported by a stone archway. We could see the ocean on both sides of the historical site. Then there were wooden steps leading to the right, around the castle. The walls narrowed until we were in a deep ravine, and the path dropped steeply until the sheer basalt cliffs stretched hundreds of feet above us.
My jaw dropped open when we reached the end of the trail and were confronted with the entrance of a wide cavern. It cut straight through the rock beneath the castle; I could see the ocean and sky on the other side, the clouds now turning pink over the sparkling blue water. A sign announced our destination.
MERMAID’S CAVE
“Shut up,” I said, putting my hands on my hips. “Seriously?”
Sebastian grinned back at me, then stepped through the opening into the cave. Inside it was like an underground cathedral. The ceiling was a wide arch, and the hole leading out to the ocean was narrower at the base, almost like a keyhole. Ocean water flowed deep into the cave, where it reflected the sky, and cast a blue and purple shimmer over the stone ceiling.
We walked over the large, smooth rocks, until we reached the shallow pool, which was directly below the castle. I could sense the weight of thousands of tons of rocks on top of us.
“At high tide, the area can be dangerous,” Sebastian said, “but at low tide…” he gestured in front of him. The water was perfectly still, cut off from the choppy ocean waves. There was plenty of light coming through the mouth of the cave, infusing the water with remarkable clarity.
“It’s amazing,” I said.
Sebastian took off his shirt and tossed it aside, then unbuckled his belt. I turned away, blushing.
“Relax, I’ll keep my briefs on… this time.”
He was wearing a European-style speedo. I tried not to stare at his ass as he waded into the natural pool. At its center, the water just barely reached his knees. Sebastian’s muscular body was framed by the mouth of the cave, his silhouette outlined by the turquoise sea behind him. His torso was perfectly reflected in the cave’s mirror-like pool, and I could see the colorful sparkling as the salt water interacted with his skin. It was so beautiful, I could hardly breathe.
“See? Nothing to it.” He splashed a little water in my direction, before falling back into the water, submerging himself. When he stood up again, his whole body was sparkling like he’d been powdered in fairy dust.
I almost asked him to turn around before I took off my shirt and pants, but it wasn’t like I was getting naked—I had a suit on. I put my clothes in a corner of the cave next to some larger rocks, then walked into the water carefully. As the cold water lapped over my ankles, I got goose pimples and rubbed my arms. The rocks were slippery, and I held out my hands for balance as I waded deeper. When I got closer to Sebastian, I gasped.
His skin was already starting to change. It grew harder, and flakey, with hundreds of shimmering scales. The exo spread up over his stomach and sides, though it was much thinner and smoother here, like a snakeskin. I ran my hands over the side of his body, feeling the texture and toughness. Then he lay back in the water again, and I watched the exo grow over his upper body and shoulders.
A tail was forming around his legs, binding them together in segments, like body armor. It looked like a lobster tail, but much more colorful: greenish purple, with patches of bright turquoise, flaring into burning orange at its tips.
But the coolest thing were his hands. His long, sensitive fingers gleamed like polished shells. It looked like he was wearing lightweight boxing gloves of some kind. I reached for his hand—his fingers felt like giant crab legs, the kind you need a special metal tool to crack open.
“Your turn,” he said, still holding my hand. He pulled me gently down into the water and held my shoulders as I leaned back.
“Don’t worry, I’ve got you. You don’t even need to go underwater right now, not yet. Just lean back and try to relax.”
I lay back in the water and felt my skin tingle; I could see the lights and colors as the sea water met my skin. But when I lifted my feet up I panicked, kicking up and accidentally throwing my head back into the water. I was sure I was going to suck in a huge gulp of saltwater, but Sebastian caught me and held me up.
“Just breathe deeply. Take more air into your lungs. With your lungs full, you can’t sink.”
I took a deep breath and held the air in… it seemed to work. I closed my eyes and tried to relax, concentrating on my breathing. My body bobbed up and down in the water with each breath, as my lungs increased my buoyancy. I learned to keep enough air in my lungs so that my ears stayed above the surface. I could hear the wind rushing through the mouth of the cave and the surf beating outside. It was peaceful.
When I opened my eyes again, the cave was on fire. Everything glowed, like pink and orange flames were climbing the walls. The pool danced and sparkled with colors and lights I couldn’t even begin to describe. I thought I was on drugs, or hallucinating.
I saw Sebastian sitting on a rock a few feet away and panicked again, realizing he was no longer holding me up. I flailed my arms and pushed my hands down into the water to stabilize myself. My fingers dragged slowly through the water, with more resistance than I expected. I lifted one hand up in front of my face and saw it had formed a bit of webbing between each finger, like a frog. That’s new.
“My vision is funny,” I said, sitting up.
“We have more color receptors than humans do. Humans have three primary colors. Butterflies have five. We have sixteen. It comes in handy when we’re deep in the sea, beyond light, where everything looks black. You probably aren’t seeing that many colors yet, but it’s a good sign.”
“How come my exo isn’t like yours?” I asked, running my fingertips over my skin. It was tougher now, and smooth like eggshells.
“That’s not your exo, that’s just a base reaction. First you’ll need to have your metamorphosis, and then grow and regrow several exos before you get one like mine.”
Metamorphosis. Like a butterfly. Unless I could
n’t change. I tried not to think of what that would mean for Sebastian and me. I held my legs together tightly, willing them to bind together the way Sebastian’s had. I held the pose for several minutes, but nothing else happened. It was anticlimactic. I smiled and shrugged at Sebastian, trying to keep the disappointment off my face. No tail. Now what?
Sebastian crossed to the other end of the pool. “Try swimming over to me,” he said. “The trick is, don’t breathe under water—you won’t be able to do that until you can turn completely. Breathe out when you’re underwater, or hold your breath. Breathe in when your head lifts up.” He showed me what he meant, miming long breast strokes and breathing in when his head came up to the side.
I wasn’t so sure about that. Instead, I paddled over to him, keeping my mouth and nose above the water. I used my webbed fingers to pull myself forward and let my legs dangle behind me. My knees bumped against the rocks on the bottom of the shallow pool, but it didn’t hurt as much as I expected it to. The pain felt distant somehow, like I was wearing a layer of cardboard over my skin.
When I reached him, I stood up too quickly and toppled over the slippery rocks. He caught me and we tumbled to the ground, our wet arms entwined. He laughed and squeezed me against him. I felt the hard edges of his exo pressing into me, but not painfully. We gazed into each other’s eyes, inches apart. I licked my lips, sure he was going to kiss me this time. But then he broke eye contact, and shifted to increase the distance between us.
“Sorry,” he mumbled, looking away.
“It’s fine, I get it,” I said, though I didn’t really. He said we couldn’t have sex, but that didn’t mean we couldn’t kiss. He’d already broken the rules, right? Maybe he’s not attracted to me.
His face darkened and he pushed his wet hair out of his face. “I want to be with you,” he said, “but there’s still so much you don’t know.”
“So tell me,” I said, crossly this time. “I thought we were done with secrets.”
“Even if you can change, you might not like it down there. You’re imagining a fairy tale, but not all merrow are like me. We can be dangerous. Ruthless.”
“Um, I know. Bedelia, remember?”
“It’s not just that,” he said, sighing. He looked out at the ocean for a moment, before continuing. “In the beginning, merrow would come up on land often. We enjoyed living in the sun, and the way humans treated us. We would take lovers, maybe start families. We’d give them some of our blood when they were sick, to make them live longer, to keep them strong and healthy. Because of ecdysis, our blood can heal human injuries as well. These people, our human families, were the Tuatha Dé.”
I nodded. I’d guessed as much, or close to it. Why was he telling me this now?
“But they got greedy. They discovered other uses for our blood, besides healing—what you would call magic. First came the contests, with humans competing in magical feats for increased status or wealth. Then, the families started fighting with each other, using magic as a weapon.”
“They needed more blood,” I guessed.
“A lot more. The Tuatha Dé were insatiable. They started hunting merrow; building special nets and traps. During the worst of it, there were farms. Merrow were forced to breed in captivity and then slaughtered like cattle. Drained for their blood.”
“Oh my god,” I said, holding a hand up to my mouth. The sun was setting and the cave was chilly. My upper body had dried off, and my hands and skin returned to normal. I felt a shiver run up my spine and crossed my arms.
“When the royal family discovered what was happening, they nearly destroyed the Tuatha Dé. Then they demanded sacrifices to keep the human population under control. Some Fomori treated the humans like slaves, considering themselves a superior race. Until the day a half-blood led a revolution. First he disabled our most powerful weapon, which backfired and decimated the Fomorian army. Then he beheaded the Fomorian general.”
“Lugh. The general was his own grandfather, Balor.”
Sebastian looked at me with a dumbstruck expression.
“How the hell—”
“I read a lot,” I smiled coyly.
“Nerd,” he teased. I splashed water at his face, and he wiped it away with his hand.
“When the Tuatha Dé won, the royal family made it illegal for merrow to breed with humans, or to reveal themselves. We moved down into the deepest oceans, and became things of folklore and legend. For a while, we lived openly in Iceland, and later in Florida, but in time, those became overrun with humans as well. In the last few centuries, the merrow returned to the deep seas, and built underwater cities with new technology. There are only about a hundred thousand of us left.”
“But all that stuff happened a long time ago, right? The wars between the Tuatha Dé and the merrow.”
Sebastian nodded. “Thousands of years ago.”
“So what does any of that have to do with us?”
“Merrow have long memories. And remember, we live longer. So while most humans have forgotten the brutality and injustice that led to the merrow wars, the older merrow are still angry. They hate all humans. And now that the royal family is missing… some merrow think it’s time to stop hiding. They argue that the humans are destroying the world, and that it’s our duty to wipe them out.”
“Wait—what?” He’d said the last statement so casually, I almost didn’t grasp its significance. “There are merrow who want to destroy the human race?” I pictured a hundred thousand Sebastians, capable of punching through picnic tables and moving faster than we could even see them. It would be a slaughter. A mermaid apocalypse. I almost laughed at the thought, but the impulse died in my throat. I felt sick. I couldn’t believe I’d wanted to kiss him just a few moments ago.
“I don’t want that, of course, but some of my family—”
“Your family wants to destroy the human race? How could they even consider something like that?”
“It’s not like they have much of a choice. Humans have been dumping toxic waste into the oceans for decades, it’s getting worse all the time. Species that have been around for thousands of years are going extinct by the hundreds. If we stay hidden and do nothing, we’ll all die.”
“Oh my god. You agree with them.” I pulled away from him, horrified.
“I don’t agree with them, I just understand them. Should we just wait for the humans to accidentally exterminate us by destroying the oceans? Or should we do something about it? There isn’t a simple solution.”
Sebastian was right. I’d been imagining a fairy tale ending, where we would swim off together into the sunset. But those visions were shattered now. Even if I could change fully, I’d never belong with the merrow. I thought of Derry and Jackie. All my new friends here in Ireland, and all the old ones back in America. Sure, maybe we didn’t recycle as much as we should, but that wasn’t our fault. We weren’t evil. We didn’t deserve to be wiped off the face of the planet. But if the merrow did attack, what could we do to stop them? Absolutely nothing.
22
At school the next day, I was greeted by a bouquet of irises in front of my locker. There was no card, but I assumed they were from Sebastian. Sorry my race wants to destroy your race. I was about to pick them up when I saw Travis hovering a few feet away. Why would Travis give me flowers?
“Like them?” he asked, smiling.
We’d had virtually no interaction since the first day of school. Why do flowers always come from someone who’s done something wrong, or someone you have no feelings for? Actually, I realized, this was the first time I’d gotten flowers from a boy. Ever.
“Yeah,” I said, breathing in the musky floral scent. “They’re beautiful.”
“I noticed you looked kind of sad today,” he said. “So I just thought, you know, flowers.”
I hoped everybody at school wasn’t as observant as Travis. After Sebastian’s stunt on the hurling field, a lot of the guys in school were treating him like a rock star, and the girls had been swooning since
day one. I was no troll myself; I’d almost started expecting the attention I received for my looks. But with people watching my every move, I’d have to be extra careful.
Travis was still standing there with a stupid grin on his face. I wondered what he thought would happen next. We’d make out? I’d realize he was the one for me?
“This is really sweet of you, Travis. Thanks. I’ve just been, really busy with homework recently, I’m way behind, so I’ve been staying up studying. I guess I’m just tired, I didn’t realize anybody could see it.” That wasn’t even a lie. All the teachers had gone easy with me for the first week, but now they expected me to finish work on time, and they were tough. I got my first ever ‘D’ in Miss Lynch’s class. A few months ago, that would have been grounds for a major meltdown. Now it barely registered. Compared to the news I’d received yesterday concerning the potential end of mankind, a bad grade on my report card didn’t seem like such a big deal.
“Anyway, thanks for trying to cheer me up. It worked.” I smiled at him, stretching my lips as far as they would go before it turned into a grimace. Then I stuffed the flowers in my locker and headed to class.
I’d just sat down and pulled out my binder and a pencil, when I heard the whispers about another dead girl. Not from our school this time; about an hour south of here. She’d been drowned and lain out on the beach, just like Bedelia. The police were talking about a serial killer. She was found yesterday afternoon, which meant she’d been drowning in one part of the ocean while I was learning to swim in another. Thinking about it made my skin crawl. It didn’t make me responsible, exactly, but I couldn’t escape feeling guilty. After all, nobody else even knew what they were looking for, besides Sebastian and I.
And unless we did something about it, I realized, the bodies were going to keep coming. And by we, I meant Sebastian. What could I possibly do against another merrow? They were a hundred times faster and stronger than I could ever be. I’d only get in the way. But would Sebastian really go against his own kind to save some humans? And what did I expect him to do, find the merrow and kill him? I thought about my own near-death experience on the pier, and the engraved dagger that had tasted my blood. Was I prepared to inflict that kind of pain; to end a life? Plus, there was no guarantee Sebastian would even be able to defeat another merrow one-on-one. What if he got hurt, or killed? I wasn’t willing to risk that. We needed help, and I thought I knew where to get it.