by D. S. Murphy
They began shaking hands and clapping each other on the back— oblivious that their hands were soaked in blood. In fact they seemed to revel in it. Some were drawing symbols onto each other’s faces with blood, laughing all the while. Others were squeezing their robes to catch every precious drop. It was barbaric. And they wanted to do it again. To Sebastian.
That’s not going to happen, I swore to myself. No matter what. Whatever it takes, Sebastian cannot be harmed. Just then I recognized one of the figures in the clearing. He’d had his back to me before, but now I could see his dark hair and thick eyebrows. It was the mysterious stranger from the pub. The one that looked like Colin. And, I realized now, like Ethan.
“You,” I said, as it finally clicked into place. “You told them. That’s your father, Paul Blake, right? And you told them about Sebastian. That’s how you knew. That’s why you brought me here, you felt guilty.”
Ethan gulped, but then nodded slowly. I spun and stormed off through the trees, picking my way along the face of the cliff, away from the gruesome gathering.
“I was angry,” Ethan said, when we were far enough away from the stone circle that our voices wouldn’t carry. “Frustrated. So I told them about Sebastian. Then I told them about Trevor as well. I didn’t think they’d actually find one of them or be able to capture him.”
“I thought your dad wasn’t into this stuff,” I said.
“Morgan talked him into it. The Cael needed all twelve families to complete the ritual, and I was too young. We couldn’t afford to miss this. The other families would have cast us out for good.”
“So your father told his cronies and they tracked down Trevor somehow. And they’ll go after Sebastian next. And if they need more blood, they’ll move down the list to me. Right?”
“I didn’t tell them about you!” Ethan said, pushing a hand through his hair. “And I wouldn’t let them do that.”
“But they already know,” I said. “How could they not. Someone attacked me in Portrush. With a knife just like yours, the one you showed me. It had to be one of the Tuatha Dé right?”
Ethan blanched and grabbed my arm.
“Wait, what? When did this happen? Why didn’t you tell me about it earlier?”
“Would you have cared? Someone sliced my arm and pushed me off the pier. I almost died. Sebastian thinks maybe they were just making sure I was part merrow. But still, someone knows.”
“Someone else in the Tuatha Dé. And they’re keeping it a secret from the other families for some reason. Shit.”
“So I’m not wrong,” I said. “Sebastian, then me.”
Ethan nodded. “My dad still thinks a merrow is the reason Colin died. So for him it’s personal. When I told him about Sebastian and Trevor, he was thrilled. He never thought he’d get the chance to avenge Colin’s death. For the rest of them… this is more blood than they’ve ever had in their lives. They’ll be drunk on power, and desperate to get more of it as soon as possible.”
“So why warn me? You hate Sebastian, right? And you can’t stand me either, because of who my grandmother was. So why betray your own people? Why bring me here?”
“I knew if they killed Sebastian you’d never speak to me again. And I didn’t want to hurt you like that. Maybe I did earlier, when I was angry, but not now. You didn’t choose what you are, and you’re more human than merrow, right? So I thought, you know, maybe it’s not too late for you. For us.”
“There is no us,” I said.
“Fine,” he said darkly. “Whatever. But for now, I’m still going to make sure my people don’t try and kill you. And I just wanted you to know, if they go after Sebastian, it’s not because of me. Are you cool with that?”
I shrugged. I was tired of arguing.
Sebastian was waiting in front of Aedan’s house when we pulled up.
I hopped off the bike and threw my arms around him, covering his face with kisses. I didn’t realize I was crying until Sebastian wiped the tears away from my eyes.
Then he charged towards Ethan and grabbed him by the collar.
“What the hell happened? What have you done to her?” he demanded, shoving Ethan back against his bike.
“Nothing, fishboy,” Ethan snarled. “And we were trying to save you.”
“I was out swimming, I thought we weren’t meeting today. But then I got all your frantic messages, so I came right over. What the hell is going on?”
“They killed Trevor,” I said quietly. “Sacrificed him. Cut off his head. Crushed his body like cheese,” I smiled at my metaphor, then felt sick. I must be in shock, there was nothing funny about this.
“And you thought it was me,” Sebastian guessed. Ethan nodded. Both of them were watching me with strange expressions. Maybe I was acting funny, or they thought I was too weak or fragile to function.
“Well I can’t say I’m sorry about Trevor,” Sebastian said. “And I think I owe you for the warning.”
“I didn’t do it for you,” Ethan scowled.
“Obviously,” Sebastian said with a smirk. “Still, it’s marginally improved my opinion of the Tuatha Dé. Maybe you aren’t all power-hungry, treacherous butchers after all.”
I saw Ethan’s tattoos flare so I stepped between them and put my hands on my hips.
“After what I saw tonight,” I glared at Ethan, “that description seems pretty fitting. Plus you did say they’d come after Sebastian and me next, right?”
“Yeah, but so what? Didn’t you say the merrow were planning on wiping out the human race? This isn’t some fucking high school drama. We’re talking about the future of civilization, and you need to pick sides.”
It was Sebastian’s turn to look shocked.
“You told him that?” he asked, with wounded eyes.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize it was a secret. And if they are coming, we need the Tuatha Dé to help us fight them off.”
“You’re really going to stand against your own people?” Ethan said, eyeing Sebastian critically. “For the humans? Why would you do that?”
“Most merrow want peace, not war. I don’t know if there’s anything we can do about it, but no, I won’t help them kill humans.” He said this looking directly at me and holding my gaze.
“So… truce?” Sebastian said finally.
“For now,” Ethan said. “And for Clara. But watch your back, your secret’s out. I’ll give you a heads up if I hear my people planning anything. You warn me if there’s going to be an imminent merrow attack. Sound fair?”
“Deal,” Sebastian said. They shook on it, then Ethan got on his bike and rode off.
“I thought I’d lost you,” I said when we were alone.
“I’m so sorry you had to see that.” Sebastian pulled me towards him and arched my back into his body. He leaned down to kiss me, his fingers tangled my hair. Our tongues touched, and he pulled away, looking at me with an intensity that took my breath away. Then he held my hand and led me inside.
Our temporary alliance with Ethan was a small comfort. He couldn’t stop his people from coming after us, no more than Sebastian could stop the merrow attacks. Ethan told me to pick a side, but I didn’t belong anywhere. I’d never fit in with the merrow, they’d just see me as a weak human. And the Tuatha Dé would kill me for my blood if they couldn’t find a pure-blooded merrow. I didn’t know what Ethan’s deal was, but I was glad he was talking to me again. Maybe he thought, if Sebastian left or was killed, he’d be there to pick up the pieces. If he could overlook the fact that I was one-fourth merrow. At least Sebastian accepted me for what I was… or at least what he hoped I would become, which wasn’t really the same thing at all. This much I knew: the Tuatha Dé were a threat. They wouldn’t stop until Sebastian and I were dead. And it didn’t really matter, because Sebastian was leaving soon anyway. If he didn’t, the entire town would be slaughtered. I drifted off into a tormented sleep, my fingers twitching as my mind replayed the golden sickle removing Trevor’s head from his shoulders.
37
The next day it snowed. I marveled at the white blanket of ice that had transformed the landscape outside my window. Aedan told me school was cancelled, so we made oatmeal with chopped apples, syrup and cinnamon and watched the kids outside throwing snowballs. Sebastian was chatting with Aedan when I fell asleep, but he’d left late last night.
Jackie texted in the morning to see if I wanted to hang out, and we made plans to meet at Liam’s pub later. The whiteness was comforting, almost like yesterday’s bloodshed had purified the earth and made it clean again. And with the Christmas tree, the kids laughing outside, and plans to meet up with friends, I almost felt happy. It was the conditioning of a lifetime of festive holidays. But I couldn’t let myself get distracted.
I took a walk to clear my head. I hadn’t brought a winter coat with me—I never imagined it would get this cold in Ireland—so I borrowed a puffy jacket from Aedan and stuffed my pocket with some of the money Sebastian had given me. I was going to put the rest in Aedan’s stocking, but figured I could buy myself a new coat first. And maybe a dress for tomorrow’s concert. I thought about inviting Patricia and Jackie, but I needed some time alone.
I would have given anything to hang out with them last week, but today I’d be rotten company. All I could see was death: the bonfire attack, along with last night’s carnage, had given me a glimpse of the future. Violent, senseless death. The merrow were coming, and everyone that I passed were on the clock. The cute guy in the coffee shop; the little blonde girl chasing her brother and then falling down in the snow; the old couple sharing a park bench. Everyone was in a good mood, they smiled at me as I passed. And they had no idea what was coming. I couldn’t warn anybody, they would think I was crazy. If I couldn’t get my friends to believe me, there was no way I could convince strangers that mermaids were real, and planning the imminent destruction of Portballintrae, of all places. My only confidants were Ethan, whose family were plotting my murder, and Sebastian, whose father was leading the extermination process.
I was relieved Ethan was talking to me again. I’d missed his cocky smile and teasing. If Colin was anything like Ethan, I can see why my mother fell for him. But he was no Sebastian. I couldn’t explain it, but being away from Sebastian made me feel physically ill. Last night when I thought he was in danger, I would have stormed in unarmed if Ethan hadn’t held me back. And yet, he had to leave. If he didn’t go back as his father commanded, everyone around me would die. To save them, I had to give up the one thing I couldn’t bear to lose.
I ended up buying a long black coat lined with soft faux-fur. It had a wraparound sash and a wide hood I could hide under. It felt like being wrapped in a blanket and made me feel like an eskimo-assassin. My tennis shoes were damp and my feet were freezing, so I also picked out a kickass pair of black leather boots. They reminded me of the ones my mom bought me for Christmas a few years ago. That memory confined me to the dressing room for ten minutes, wrestling with an overwhelming wave of holiday nostalgia. I remember my dad sitting up all night with me because I was afraid of Santa’s reindeer. And the time he spent all day trying to set up my new dollhouse, but got frustrated because he couldn’t get it to fit together properly. I said I liked it just the way it was.
When I’d stopped reminiscing, I bought a couple sweaters, new socks, and some small gifts for Aedan and Sebastian. As a joke, I picked up something for Ethan too—a leftover Halloween decoration of a cackling witch on a broomstick.
Sebastian was waiting for me when I got home. Aedan fixed us some tea while I stashed the gifts in my room, then I showed off my new clothes.
“The only thing I didn’t get was a dress for tomorrow,” I said. “But I have some old performance stuff I can wear.”
“If you’re anything like Phyllis was, you can sing in pajamas and captivate the room.” Aedan said, scratching Miscreant behind the ears.
“Jackie wants to hang out later at Liam’s pub,” I said. “Should we all go? We can get dinner there.”
“Sure. What do you want to do in the meantime?” Sebastian asked.
“How about some practice?” I said. “I haven’t gotten much use out of the sword yet.” I grabbed it from my room and also picked up the flask Sebastian had given me. I wrapped some rags around my hands, then doused them with salt water. We went into the back yard where nobody could see us.
It should have been freezing, but once the salt water soaked into my skin, my hands felt impervious to the cold. And the rest of me warmed up quickly as I practiced my stances again, then my defense and offense. After that, Sebastian started throwing snowballs at me. Slowly at first. I just tried to swing and hack through them with the sword. Then he started compacting them tighter, and throwing them faster. I realized if he wanted to, he could squeeze an ice cube in the palm of his hand and shoot it through my skull. But he was taking it pretty easy today, tossing me mostly softballs that I could block or skewer. I broke into a sweat once he started tossing three at a time. When I was finally able to slice all three snowballs in a quick succession of slashes, he smiled and pulled me in for a hug.
That evening, as the three of us headed towards the pub, I noticed that most of the houses had candles in the windows. With the white landscape and purple dusk on the horizon, it was a beautiful scene. The pub was busy, but cozy. Liam was serving hot spiced wine in mugs and the gathering spilled outside. People clutched their mugs for warmth and chatted around the entrance. I was surprised to see a familiar face when we squeezed inside.
“Ethan, what are you doing here?” I asked.
“I invited him,” Jackie said, linking arms with him. “That way Sebastian won’t be the only piece of arm candy here.” Sebastian smiled and I could have sworn Ethan was blushing.
We got drinks and slid into a table Liam had saved for us. Sebastian sat on one side of me, Ethan on the other. The day’s specials were mini-hamburgers and potato wedges, thick Irish stew, and cider. I was salivating from the rich smells from the kitchen before our food even got there. I had some wine but mostly stuck with soda water. I didn’t want anything to jeopardize my performance tomorrow. I realized it would be the first time I’d sung in public since the night my parents died. Part of me felt nervous, like something bad was going to happen. Like I was cursed maybe. But that was crazy, there’s no way my singing caused my parent’s death. I knew it, but it was still hard to shake the apprehension.
“Jackie said you were all hanging out later and I should come,” Ethan whispered over dinner. “We’re not here together.”
“Don’t worry about it, she was just teasing you,” I said. Though from the looks Jackie was tossing him, I realized that wasn’t entirely true either. We sang carols and Derry tried to teach us a drinking game, but it was difficult to follow the rules. Later we all walked towards Aiden’s house, our shoes crunching in the icy snow. Aedan went in the house and turned on the lights. I hugged Jackie and Derry, and Jackie pulled Ethan away so Sebastian and I could be alone.
“You look radiant tonight,” Sebastian said, lifting my chin before kissing me.
“I’m sure it was the wine,” I said.
“No, it was your smile. You hide it most of the time. I wish I could coax it out more often.”
I leaned against his chest and inhaled deeply. He smelled delicious. Like warmth and safety. I wanted to invite him in, but I needed sleep.
“See you tomorrow?” I said, gazing up at him.
“I wouldn’t miss it,” he said.
***
The snow had mostly melted when I woke up the next morning, but there were icy patches still. The air was chilly and clear. I poured some coffee and was spreading butter and strawberry jam on a piece of toast when Aedan came in holding a large garment bag.
“Morning sleepy-head. I thought you might sleep in after last night.”
“I feel pretty good actually. What’s that?”
“I pulled this down from the attic for you. You don’t have to wear it, but since you said you were looking for a
dress—”
He unzipped the back and pulled out an elegant black gown. It was classic, vintage. It had a frilly skirt that poofed out to the sides and a tight, laced bodice with shimmering strands of silver thread.
“It’s gorgeous,” I said.
“It was your grandmother’s. Branna might have worn it a time or two as well. Now it’s just been sitting around. I’ve no use for it of course, but I couldn’t stand parting with it either. It made Phyllis look like a movie star.”
“Also, this came for you,” he said, pointing to a box on the table. It was a package from Beth, filled with Christmas gifts, candy canes, and a photo album full of pictures of us together.
I wanted to call her right away but figured with the time difference, she was probably still sleeping. Instead I sent her a thank you message on Facebook.
I played around with the sword outside some more, then took a shower in the afternoon and started getting ready for the concert. The dress was stunning, especially after I put on Sebastian’s pearl necklace and pulled my hair up. I would have normally put on a lot of makeup for a concert, but I didn’t need it anymore. I looked so good I almost reached for my makeup remover to wipe some of it off. But this was just my face now. Rosy lips, flawless skin, perfect eyebrows and long dark lashes. I wondered how much I looked like my grandmother.
Aedan drove us to school and we parked in front of the auditorium. Before I’d even seen him, Sebastian opened the car door and offered me a hand out of the car, which I actually needed, since the dress was so cumbersome I was afraid I’d trip over it. Once I stood up Sebastian looked me over, his eyes taking me in. I thought he was going to say something clever, but he looked like he was having trouble finding the words.
“Wow,” he said finally. I realized it was the first time he’d seen me in a dress, rather than jeans or a school uniform.
“You clean up pretty good yourself,” I said. Sebastian was wearing a flawless classic tux with a black bow tie. He was overdressed for the occasion, but wasn’t complaining—he looked amazing. I made Aedan take a picture of us and posted it as my profile picture. I knew Beth would freak out when she saw it. I’d hinted that I was seeing someone here, but hadn’t given her any details. We were early, so my escorts found their seats and I went backstage to join my class. Most of us were wearing simple, dark clothes. Mrs. Tierney told us to dress conservatively, and I was worried that my dress might be too flashy. Luckily, my dress was tame next to Roisin’s. She was wearing a sherbert-orange dress that was almost painful to look at. It was well-cut and pushed her boobs up like they were on a display shelf. I overheard her talking to Brianna when I walked in.