by D. S. Murphy
“So what, I can sing them to death?”
“No—the singing won’t work on other merrow. But let’s not forget the merrow aren’t the ones after you. In fact if you can prove you have merrow blood, they might leave you alone. Frankly, I still don’t think you should be singing at all. What I saw at the concert… it reminded me of stories I heard as a child. Horrible stories, about powerful merrow charming dozens of humans at once. They’d use them like puppets or chess pieces, even force them to slaughter their own loved ones. Merrow don’t need to do stuff like that to kill humans, they only did it out of cruelty or malice. I can’t see any way to use your voice and not become the monster the Tuatha Dé think you are. It’s everything the merrow used to be, when they were using the Tuatha Dé as slaves; it’s the reason the Tuatha Dé revolted, the reason for their deep hatred of us. That’s why the royal family outlawed interaction with humans.”
“So what then?”
“Well, it’s not your only gift. Don’t forget what you did to Roisin with the Gatorade, or the salt shakers.”
“So I should throw salt water at them? Or make water animals?”
“There’s more to hydrokinesis than just making animals,” Sebastian said darkly. “Most merrow can’t charm with their voice, like you can, but they can still manipulate and control water, which makes them very dangerous.”
“But how? They’ll drown us?”
“The human body is 70% water and contains about forty teaspoons of salt. Human blood is probably more similar to sea water than you realize. Both contain many of the same salts, mostly sodium and chorine, which make up common table salt. And blood also contains more metal. Two hundred times more zinc, two hundred and fifty times more iron, and one thousand times more copper.”
“So what you’re saying is…”
“Most merrow can charm, but can’t force humans to do their bidding. Not like you did, with your voice at the concert—by putting them in a suggestible trace. However, some merrow, my father included, can control a human body. It’s not easy to do. Water has no will; but with a human, you need to override their own control. Your will needs to be stronger than theirs. Making water animals isn’t useless. It’s very important for you to develop a strong will. Because otherwise, a stronger merrow will be able to take you over. They could make you hurt yourself, or someone you care about.”
I shuddered, picturing Ajax on the beach. Controlling my body would be a worse violation than the one he’d threatened me with.
“Okay,” I nodded. “I’m ready. Teach me how it works.”
“Merrow have powerful magnetism, it’s in our blood. That’s why our blood is so valuable to the Tuatha Dé. We can use it to pull or push, attract or repel trace minerals and metals.”
Sebastian waded out until the water was up to his waist, then raised his arms so his palms were facing down towards the water. After a few moments I realized he was getting taller. My mouth dropped open as his legs, then feet appeared, dripping water from his toes, hovering over the surface of the water. He started walking forward, like he was balancing on an invisible tightrope.
“No freakin’ way,” I said. “We can fly?”
“It’s a trick,” he laughed. “I’m not really walking. I’m just using my awareness to push down against the water. Watch.” He concentrated, and lifted up several feet above the surface of the water. His brow was furrowed and he started trembling with exertion, before plunging back into ocean.
“Your turn,” he said, with water dripping down his torso.
I waded into the sea, then raised my hands above the surface and tried pushing down. Nothing happened. I could feel the water around me, feel the strength flowing into me. I let myself relax and feel the water the way I’d felt the people at the concert. Then I put my hands out to my sides again and pushed down. I didn’t go up. Instead, all the water went away from me, until I was standing in a hole of water. I frowned at the wet, rocky ground as a red crab scurried under a rock.
“That didn’t work,” I said, blowing a strand of hair out of my face.
“You’re not really pushing the water away,” Sebastian said. “You’re pushing you; the water in your body, away from the water in the ocean.” I tried a few more times but still couldn’t get it.
“Let’s try something easier. Move this bucket,” he said, filling a blue plastic bucket—the kind kids used to make sand castles. He left it sitting on a rock inside the cave, near our bags.
My skin tingled with excitement. This was what I’d been waiting for; figuring out how to control my powers. I concentrated on the water in the bucket and so I could lift it up. I felt sweat bead on my brow, and my legs started trembling. The weight of the ocean made gravity feel like it was sucking me into the earth.
“Stop,” Sebastian said. “You can’t pick up the whole ocean. You need to set boundaries. You need to feel this water, just the water inside the bucket, and form a connection with it.”
I tried again but it was just like before.
“Try humming,” Sebastian said.
“What?”
“You’re trying too hard, you need to relax. I think that’s what singing does for you, it shuts down your mind and makes it more instinctual. Try humming, then move the bucket.”
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I hummed a few lines from a song I liked. Then I opened my eyes and sent all my focus on the blue bucket. It flew off the rock and splashed all over my backpack.
“You did it,” Sebastian smiled.
“Yeah,” I said, picking up my backpack and brushing off the water. “Just a little messy.”
“You’ll get better.”
I opened my backpack to see how much damage I’d done.
My heart stopped when I saw my mom’s journal.
“Shit!” I said. “I forgot I’d been carrying this around. It got all wet.” I pulled out the journal and shook water off the damp pages.
“It’ll dry. Wait, look—” Sebastian’s eyes went wide as the journal started to glow. I leafed through the pages. Where the edges had gotten damp, letters were appearing in the margins. They were glowing, like the runes on the stones at Temhair Falach.
“There’s more…” I whispered, mesmerized.
“Written in mermaid blood. Revealed by salt water. Gruesome, but clever.”
I read the text quickly, wiping more salt water on the paper to make the letters shine brighter. Letters my mother had scribbled in the margins with desperate strokes. Then I looked up at Sebastian, a thrill running through my body.
“I know where my mother hid the necklace.”
***
Sebastian parked on the side of the road and let me out. I walked down the hill towards Portballintrae, holding the journal open so I could get my bearings. Someone has discovered me. I think I’m being followed. My mother wrote these words over a decade ago, before leaving Ireland forever. I’ve buried the necklace to keep it safe. On the last page there was a map, showing the town and Dunluce Castle. It wasn’t exact, but I had a feeling I’d be able to find the spot.
The map showed an X not far from the cliff, with a uniquely shaped inlet down below. I took a sharp intake of breath when I recognized where I’d ended up—it was where I’d been standing the first time I saw Sebastian. I shivered, but not from the cold. How could I have known where my mother hid the necklace? I couldn’t see anything out of place, but it had been sixteen years. Sebastian walked down after me and watched as I slowly traced circles around the spot. Just when I was about to give up, I felt it—an energetic pulsing, shooting up my legs like an electric shock. Under the ground, under the dirt, I could feel my mother’s necklace calling to me. It wanted to be found.
I dug with my bare fingers, ripping out chunks of dirt and clawing through the dark soil until I hit something solid. I pulled out the rectangular shape and brushed it off. It was an ornate wooden box, with a Celtic knot carved into the front. I had to pry it open, the hinges were rusted shut. It was late afternoon
now, but when I opened the box the contents sparkled with inner light. The necklace was beautiful, the silver gleamed like moonlight and the blue stone was lit up from the inside with a white fire. When I picked it up, I felt a rush of energy. It was like a lost limb I never knew I was missing. I suddenly felt whole—more complete than I ever had before.
Sebastian looked over my shoulder and gasped.
“It’s a Baetulia. An old one, and very rare. See the markings under the stone?” I ran my finger over the tiny engravings. There was a trident symbol, and some Greek characters. Under the necklace was a page torn from my mother’s journal.
Colin’s asked me to run away with him. But he’s being weird. He says his family are part of an ancient race called the Tuatha Dé, and they hunt merrow. He says his father and the other family heads are going to try to kill me, to harvest my blood to make their tools more powerful. I don’t get it, but Colin seems certain. Terrified. He booked us tickets. He says I can’t tell Aedan the real reason, we just have to leave.
I handed the note to Sebastian so he could read it. When he looked up at me again, he searched my face like he was seeing me for the first time.
“This doesn’t tell us anything new,” I said. “Except the Tuatha Dé knew about my mother, and that Colin and her planned to run away together. We still don’t know what went wrong or what actually happened the night Colin died. But if Colin was planning on leaving with my mother, he wouldn’t have attacked her—so it’s unlikely she killed him.”
“Why do you think she buried the necklace?” Sebastian asked. “Why leave it here. Why not take it with her?”
“I don’t know,” I shrugged. “But it’s a good thing she did, right? At least we have it. Could it help? Does it tell you anything about my grandmother, where she came from?”
Sebastian folded the letter and placed it back in the box without answering my question.
“It’s getting late,” he said. “Why don’t I drop you off at home and we can discuss it more tomorrow.”
When he pulled up outside Aedan’s house he seemed preoccupied. He didn’t get out of the car to kiss me goodbye like he usually did—he just sat behind the wheel, brooding. I wondered if he was trying to create some distance between us, since he had to leave soon. Or maybe he was just tired. I tried not to feel abandoned as I watched him drive off.
Inside I made chamomile tea and grabbed some cookies. I’d left the box near the door but had the necklace in my pocket. I wasn’t ready to put it on yet. It made me feel different. Stronger, somehow, but less myself. I stashed it in my desk drawer, then did the dishes—Aedan and I both let them stack up until there was a pile. When the sink was empty I grabbed the box to clean off the layers of dirt still clinging to it. As I scrubbed it thoroughly, I felt something snap and move. At first I thought I’d broken something, but when I felt for the moving piece I saw it was a little drawer near the base. A secret drawer. Inside was another piece of my mother’s notebook, folded up into a tight square. I pulled it out and flattened it against the table.
Colin is dead. My fingers tremble as I write these words. He’d warned me that I was in danger, that someone wanted my blood, but I hadn’t taken it seriously. It’s my fault that he’s dead. They were after me. A shadow killed him; he appeared out of nowhere, a whirl of a dark cape. I saw the flash of a knife. Colin threw me behind him and took the blade into his chest, then lashed out with a beam of light so bright the attacker’s clothes caught fire. I could smell the burnt flesh as he screamed and ran off, leaving Colin dying in my arms. I tried to save him, but I was too slow, too late. The wounds were too deep.
Morgan found us. She says I have to leave, that it’s still not safe. That too many people remember the old ways in Ireland. She’s sending me to America. I leave tonight. Alone, or almost alone. I still have a final token of love, the life swelling in my belly, a child of death and suffering, of tragic love and failed hopes. I didn’t tell Morgan about the baby. It will never know of this world, or this hatred. It will be normal, and loved, and happy. I will give it all the things I wished for myself, but have now lost.
I want to bring my mother’s necklace, but if I keep it, they’ll keep coming after me. Colin said it was powerful, that his people would want it. I’m burying it near Dunluce Castle, in the spot where my mother stood to watch the ocean. Maybe I’ll come back for it in a few years, when I figure out what’s going on. Or maybe it will lie there, hidden, for the rest of time.
I scanned the letter again, my eyes freezing on one line. My breath caught in my throat. I didn’t tell Morgan about the baby. I felt sick as I looked again at the date. I was born nine months later.
40
The world spun around me. My mother was pregnant before she left Ireland? How is that even possible? A thousand memories flashed through my mind of the man I’d always believed to be my father. The only father I’d ever had, the man who raised me. But if I was the child my mother mentioned, then my real dad must have been Colin. And according to the note, Morgan was the one responsible for sending her away to America.
Which meant two things:
1. Ethan was my cousin.
2. Morgan had lied to my face.
I rolled off the chair and sank to my knees against the cold kitchen floor. I felt dizzy, ungrounded. My history had been rewritten in one instant, and I didn’t even know who I was anymore. I curled up into a ball with my arms around my knees. Miscreant rubbed up against me. I squeezed him against my chest until he struggled to get free.
Suddenly the small house felt claustrophobic. I felt like I couldn’t breathe, like there wasn’t enough oxygen in the room. I went outside and grabbed my bike. The sun was down and it was already dark and cold. I didn’t realize I hadn’t brought my coat until I started shivering, but I kept going. I pedaled until I was gasping for breath. I didn’t know exactly where I was headed when I left the house, but soon found myself close to the road leading to Ethan’s house. I turned sharply towards it. Riding through the dark woods, I imagined the long branches were hands reaching out for me until I saw the lights of mansion up ahead. It started to rain, and my clothes stuck to my body like a second skin. It was so cold I thought they would freeze that way.
Ethan opened the door when I knocked and I stormed past him. I didn’t care that I was dripping a path behind me on the hardwood floor.
“What the hell, you rode your bike here? It’s freezing outside and you’re soaked.” He grabbed a blanket off the couch and wrapped it around me, rubbing my shoulders and trying to dry my hair.
My teeth were chattering. Now that I was here, I wasn’t sure what to say. I wanted to yell at him, but he was being so nice to me, it dissolved my wrath and confused my emotions. I pushed away from him.
“You’re obviously upset about something,” he frowned. “What is it this time?”
Tears welled up in my eyes. I took the secret page from my mother’s journal from my pocket and held it up to him. It was damp from the rain and my hand was shaking.
“Upset? I don’t think that’s the right word. I don’t think there is a right word. My dead mother just told me from beyond the grave that she was pregnant before she left Ireland, which means my father wasn’t my real father.”
Ethan took the note and started reading it. His face went white and it looked like he was going to be sick.
“Your father... Colin was your father? That means...”
“We’re cousins. Insane, right? I had no idea. But that doesn’t matter right now.”
“Doesn’t matter? How can you say that—” he lifted one hand towards me, but then stopped, his fingers lingering in the air.
“What matters is that Morgan knew all about it. And she lied to me.”
“What did I know about?” Morgan said, entering the room calmly. Her black silk nightgown pooled on the floor around her feet.
“The night Colin died. You sent my mom away. You convinced her to leave.”
“Why don’t I put a pot of tea on,�
�� she said, disappearing into the kitchen. I was still damp and shaking, so Colin added more wood to the fire and moved me closer to the heat. Morgan returned and set three cups of tea on the table. I didn’t reach for mine.
“You lied to me,” I said, pointing an accusing finger at her. As my anger resurfaced, I could feel the merrow blood pumping through my veins. It wanted to reach out and shake her. But I’d seen what Ethan could do, and Morgan was probably even more powerful. I could sense the tattoos she wore hidden under her clothes. Tattoos full of merrow blood. But I was stronger now, and faster. Sebastian had trained me well. Even though I couldn’t fully turn, I was still way faster than any normal human. Morgan held my gaze, and I felt like a cowboy in a quick-draw content. Finally, I looked away and took a deep breath. I needed to calm down.
“I answered all of your questions,” Morgan said, when the tension had lessened. “You just weren’t asking the right ones. We don’t often allow outsiders into our trust, and you’ve certainly done nothing to earn it. Plus, it seems you are one of our oldest enemies.”
“You’re wrong,” I said. “I just found out my mother was pregnant when she left Ireland. Colin was my father, which means I’m half Tuatha Dé. I’m family, whether you like it or not. We share the same blood.”
Morgan studied my face carefully, before snatching the letter out of my hands. Her eyes grew wide as she read it. When she looked up at me again, her fingers flew to her mouth.