“I’ve wanted to do that since the other night.”
“I’m glad you did.”
“Now sit up and we’re going to find somewhere to go that doesn’t involve walking or a wheel chair.”
“I thought we were staying inside all day. Lounging around.”
“Change of plans. You’re not safe here. We need to move you to a more secure location. Like a public movie theater. A crowded restaurant. It’s been too long since I’ve held a woman and I want things with you to be different. Let’s go.”
When she just stared at him blankly he picked her up and set her upright, handing her the crutches. She wasn’t used to a man being this blunt with her. He didn’t make any attempt to hide his attraction for her or the fact that he wanted her. Other men hadn’t either, but usually she found herself pushing them away. Sometimes kicking them out. He was different. He was kicking himself out- literally.
A short time later they were loaded in his car. Baffled by the man seated next to her, the mixture of his gentle ways and his abrupt, rugged nature- Sarah just stared straight ahead. He held her hand tightly and chatted nonstop about his plans after Jeremy left for college. He wanted to sell their house. Move back to Clearwater and run the restaurant full time. Working at the Firehouse he’d saved enough for college, room and board. Jeremy’s future was set. He’d sold his parents’ home and with the money he bought the house in Shingle Creek outright. His car was paid for. The restaurant was paid for. He seemed to have life all figured out.
Sarah tried to push his earlier comment out of her head. He’d been upfront and honest about his casual dating experience, but she knew there was much more to his comment. She couldn’t put her finger on it. He didn’t seem jaded. Just the opposite- he seemed unharmed by the breakup of his long term relationship with the mystery woman he almost married. Sarah wanted to know details.
Why did they break up? Who broke up with whom? How long had they dated? Were they still close friends? How long had it been since their breakup? The longer she contemplated all of the possibilities the more certain she was there was a red flag getting ready to rear its ugly head. Should it be so hard to find someone as near perfect as her father?
Her parents married young. They were married eight years before they had their first child. Sarah’s childhood had been picture perfect. Her parents exemplified wedded bliss. Her mother was the proverbial housewife and could give even June Cleaver a run for her money. Her father was home every night by six o’clock. They ate dinner at the dinner table, praying beforehand. Her parents danced in the kitchen and took long walks together. Sarah’s biggest challenge was that no one she dated ever compared to her father. She wasn’t even sure men like him existed anymore.
When they arrived to the theater he came over and opened her door for her. Sarah climbed out where her crutches awaited her. They checked the movie times and found none started until noon. They needed to kill three hours. The shops at the large outdoor mall afforded the perfect opportunity to spend some quality time with Jack and get to know a little more about him. Sarah wished she didn’t hate shopping so much. She put on a brave face and decided to give it a chance.
Jack first went into a store for young people more in line with Jeremy’s age than theirs. They carried moccasins and Uggs. Jack seemed to really like the moccasins and ended up buying a pair in buckskin. Sarah tried on the Uggs and decided that spending over a hundred bucks on a pair of purple, sequined lined boots would be silly in Florida. Even in the winter these boots would be unnecessary. It was times like these she missed Boston and its cool, crisp weather the most.
The shop also carried an assortment of animal ski caps. Jack insisted on the monkey for himself and the cat for Sarah. She glanced in the mirror and decided she looked ridiculous. He was laughing uproariously and handed her the skunk one next.
“Seriously? You’d have me wear a skunk hat?”
“Sure. Maybe we should both get one. Matching skunk ski caps. We could look awful together.”
He was fun and cute. His upbeat personality was pervasive. She found herself liking him more and more. He came over to stand in front of her and placed a small kiss on her nose. She’d never had a guy kiss her nose before but somehow even that was endearing. He walked over to the register and purchased the skunk hats as well.
“Come on. Let’s see what other trouble we can get into.”
“Well, we have a pair of moccasins and matching skunk ski caps. What else could we need?”
Sarah followed his line of sight to where she spied a t-shirt shop. She had the definite feeling they were headed in there next. Halfway across the parking lot he seized her crutches insisting she jump on his back for a piggyback ride. While normally she’d have refused, her arms ached too severely in this case. She couldn’t possibly use the crutches anymore so she climbed aboard.
The t-shirt shop had every type of t-shirt imaginable. He immediately selected a few fishing and skiing shirts. Sarah wasn’t sure if there was anything in the store to suit her. Finally she happened upon a few t-shirts with Celtic crosses on them. They were beautiful with some silver and black glitter, a few even had studs. She selected three in various colors and designs. There were a few for men as well- minus the glitz of course. She picked one and held it up to Jack for size. He just shook his head.
“What? You don’t like it?”
“I’m not that into wearing crosses.”
“Really? I love to wear them. I thought they’d complement our matching skunk hats.”
“Sure. Why not.”
While he picked it up on his own to carry it to the register, Sarah got the definite feeling she was forcing the cross t-shirt on him. Just when she was about to question him further about his reluctance, a woman walked over to say hello. She introduced herself as Gema. Her hair was long and blonde to her waist. Her eyes were a deep blue. She was absolutely stunning in a she could be a model sort of way. Sarah shook her hand and smiled.
“It’s been a while since I’ve seen you around.” She addressed Jack.
“I’ve been busy.”
“I’d say so. It’s been what? Two years?”
“Something like that.”
“Well it was good seeing you. Nice to meet you, Sarah.”
“Nice meeting you, too.”
The blonde sauntered away.
“Wow. She is beautiful. Like super model pretty.”
“She should be. She is a model. You ready to go?”
“I guess. Did you ever date her?”
“I did. A long time ago.”
“Is she the woman you were engaged to?”
“No. But who knows. It looks like it’s my lucky day. Maybe they’re here together and we’ll run into them both.”
While he did his best to make a joke, his eyes weren’t smiling. He walked over to the register and laid the shirts down. Sarah came over and handed him some cash for her shirts. He refused handing the money back to her.
“I have three shirts there. I’m not letting you buy them. I would have bought them even if you hadn’t been with me.”
“My treat.”
He paid the man behind the register and exited the store taking strides longer than she could possibly keep up with. Outside he took a deep breath and let it out.
“I’m sorry about that. I just wasn’t prepared to run into her today or face my demons.”
“Okay. We don’t have to talk about it now. It’s almost time for our movie.”
“Thanks for understanding.”
Although Sarah said the words she didn’t mean them. She wanted to discuss it. All of it. What was his aversion to wearing a cross? Was he even a Christian? Then there was the beautiful blonde who he’d dated and knew well. He seemed disgusted by her. This was the first she’d seen of him having a temper, a weakness- a flaw.
At the theater he was quiet. He paid for the popcorn, sodas and candy. He sat looking tense during the film. Unfortunately his sour mood continued even afterwards when t
hey walked out and climbed into the car. He drove her straight home and walked her to her door.
“If you want to talk about it I’m here.” Sarah offered.
“Thank you. Not today. I’ve got to run. I have plans with Jeremy.”
He leaned in and gave her a kiss on her cheek. Then he walked away. For the next few days she didn’t hear a word. She knew he must have worked a shift and now should be enjoying a few days off. He’d probably gone to check the restaurant. Marcia, Anastasiya and her other friends were sending her a constant stream of pictures from Park City. The snow covered trees looked inviting. She felt so left out. They looked to be having a blast and professed to miss her immensely. She missed them too.
Her cell phone rang in the late evening, she answered it. It was Jack. He had brought Bella over for a visit and wanted to know if he could come up. Something in his voice sounded stressed. Sarah gladly accepted and he came upstairs, Bella in tow.
Sarah stepped out into the hall. She was getting to where she could put some weight on her leg without it paining her too much. She was wearing the large knee brace, and while it was clunky, it truly served its purpose. The elevator door opened and Sarah braced herself preparing to be knocked down by Bella. When it didn’t happen she waited. Jack emerged from the elevator.
“She wants to show you something.”
He walked out of the elevator and commanded Bella to ‘come’. Bella came out and sat next to his leg. When he started walking he told her to ‘heel’. She walked just behind his left leg never pushing past him. When they arrived at Sarah he commanded her to ‘sit’. Bella sat as ordered. She was a reformed dog.
“I can’t believe it. She’s a new dog.” Sarah reached down and rubbed her head and ears.
“She’s command trained. No leash necessary but you may still want to use one.” He handed her Bella’s rolled up leash. “Have you got a minute?”
“I do. Would you like to come inside?”
He stepped to her and put his arms around her, holding her tightly.
“Yes. Just promise you won’t throw me out.”
Sarah looked up into his eyes.
“I wouldn’t. I won’t.”
Sarah opened her door and took his hand leading him to her couch. They both took a seat. When he seemed unable to start she took both his hands in hers giving him strength to begin.
“Sarah- I’m not who you think I am. I know on the outside I seem to have it all together and I’m certainly getting there- gradually- but I have not always lived a good and decent life. I was a wild teenager. In high school I partied and dabbled in drugs- nothing too heavy at that point. Then by nineteen I got into modeling. I traveled to London, Paris and Tokyo, among other places. I spent my life living out of suitcases and hotels. I don’t know how familiar you are with the world of modeling but while it can be fun- it can also be a very dirty, dark business. That’s where I met Yvonne. She was British and absolutely gorgeous. Our life together revolved around partying, drinking and a lot of cocaine use. I was in Germany doing a show when I received word that my parents had been involved in a bad car accident. My father died instantly. Our mother wasn’t as fortunate. She suffered for several days. When she finally passed away I was angry- at God mostly. I felt cheated. He’d taken our mother from us. He’d taken our father from us. He’d allowed her to suffer.
I came home and started trying to take care of a six year old I barely knew. Jeremy was a late life baby for them. I’d left home before he was born, only coming home for the occasional holiday through the years. I resented having to give up my lifestyle to care for him. Yvonne eventually left the modeling scene and moved to Florida to live with us. Unfortunately for us she brought our past habits along with her. Before I knew it we were doing all the same old things. Drugs- there were a lot of them. Sexual indiscretions and changing partners- yes we did that too. Our relationship was never one that could be defined as chaste or even exclusive.” Jack stood up and went to stand in front of the sliding glass doors overlooking the lake.
“A couple of years passed and Jeremy was getting older. I decided to hang it up and walk away from it all. I just couldn’t have him around it any more. I was ashamed of myself and what I was. I didn’t want him to know those things about me. Yvonne and I were engaged- the invitations had been sent. One morning I woke up and thought- how can I marry this woman? Would I even want a family with her? For her to be the mother of my children? She refused to give up the partying lifestyle. We wanted two completely different things. We broke things off- but my reckless behavior didn’t end there.
Next I entered into a series of dead end relationships. One night stands mostly. I kept it very impersonal and distant. In the last eighteen months I started avoiding dating altogether. I realize I need something different. Something real. In you I think I have a chance at that, but I don’t want to mislead you. I don’t attend church. Jeremy does on his own with school friends who attend a youth group. I’m not sure God would even want someone like me there.”
“How long have you been drug free?”
“Eight years.”
“That’s a long time. As for the other stuff- God will forgive you. All you have to do is ask. He knows your heart. Everyone makes mistakes.”
“You’re not bothered by everything I just told you?”
“I’m a Christian. That is what I’m looking for in a partner. For me dating is for the sole purpose of getting to know someone and looking for the one. Do you think a relationship with Christ is in your future?”
“I honestly don’t know.”
“Then I honestly don’t think I can continue dating you- no matter how much I would like to.”
“What if I would be willing to try to start going to church?”
“Then I’d be there with you, helping you every step of the way.”
“And you’d continue seeing me?”
“Yes- but becoming a Christian is a very personal decision. Don’t do it for me. You have to do it for yourself.”
“I know. What about the other stuff. My past?”
“It is who you are. I can’t pretend I’ll be excited to run into your exes and acquaintances from time to time.”
“I can understand that. As you can see I wasn’t too excited about it either. I never would have opened up about all of this so soon, but running into Gema that way prompted me to share a whole lot sooner.”
“I’m glad you did.”
Sarah leaned forward and kissed him this time. Something between them had changed. He shared things so deep and personal with her. Their relationship just took on an entirely new feeling. She couldn’t put her finger on it. She stood to walk him out. It was getting late and he needed to get home.
Later that evening, lying awake in bed she thought back to their first date and his reluctance at the door. He was such a gentleman. Such a good, all-around guy. She never would imagine he’d lived the lifestyle he had. Worry crept into her mind and without meaning to she found herself putting up a wall. He was so open and honest with her but her biggest concern was there could be more. She hoped not. She wanted to give their relationship a chance- give him a chance.
There were so many things about him she liked. He was kind and patient. He loved to laugh and he seemed generous. Just consider all he was doing to help his brother and make sure he got to attend the college of his choice. He was an excellent father. So he was a good guy with a past. So what? Sarah realized the more she considered it the less it bothered her. He was a changed man or could be once she got him into church regularly.
She didn’t know all that much about drug use. Was eight years enough to prove a permanent lifestyle change? She hoped so. It certainly sounded like it was. Sarah found herself tossing and turning. Sleep was elusive and at dawn she rose to go see her pastor. Pastor Tom would know what to do.
Chapter Seven
The church office opened at nine o’clock. She was a mere hour early. She nibbled nervously on her bagel and cream cheese. Sar
ah had always been a nervous eater. A car pulled up and parked in the spot next to hers. Linda, the receptionist, climbed out.
“Morning Sarah. You’re up early.”
“I needed to see Pastor Tom.”
“I see. I heard about your leg. Rita placed you on the prayer list. I personally have been praying for Bella, too.”
“You’ll be glad to hear she is reformed. She is leash and command trained. I walked her this morning without incident.”
“I’m glad to hear it. Come in and have a seat. Pastor Tom should be in shortly.”
Sarah went in and took a seat. Linda busied herself checking emails and opening letters. The minutes slowly ticked by. Sarah wasn’t sure what she needed to talk about exactly. She liked Jack. He liked her. He was willing to attend church. He was a reformed party animal, drug addict and he slept around a lot. How did you tell your pastor all of that? He might think she was crazy for even involving herself with such a man. She knew her parents would. She stood to leave.
Just as she got to the door it opened. Pastor Tom was there.
“Good morning Sarah. Leaving?”
“No. I was actually here to see you.”
“Wonderful. Let’s go to my office.”
All of Sarah’s previous conversations with Pastor Tom revolved around the children’s Christmas Nativity, as well as the various activities she led for preschoolers throughout the year. Easter Egg Hunts and finger painting projects were her specialties. Anyone who knew her would be shocked by the conversation she was about to have.
When the pastor seated himself behind his desk, she took one of the empty chairs in front of the desk and seated herself as well.
“So what brings you in today?”
“I’m not really sure myself. I started dating a man- a very nice man with a very colorful past.”
“Does he attend here?”
“Not yet. He’s willing to though. His younger brother, who he raised, has been attending youth group and church here.”
“That’s a good start. What is your concern?”
“He was a heavy drug user and he’s had quite an active lifestyle.”
Bella's Christmas Rescue: A Holiday Novella Page 5