by Beth Wiseman
“Well, perhaps another family member might be interested in accompanying Noah,” Dr. Lukeman said. “Any questions?”
“How long is the surgery?” Carley asked even though his question had been directed to Lillian and Samuel.
“Usually three to four hours. David and Noah will be in adjoining rooms with a different team of staff members overseeing each operation. First they’ll be given a general anesthetic. Once Noah’s kidney has been successfully removed, I will make a small incision in David’s lower abdomen. I’ll attach the artery and vein from the new kidney to David’s artery and vein. Once the ureter from the new kidney is connected to David’s bladder, the new kidney should start making urine as soon as the blood starts flowing through it. But as I explained to Samuel and Lillian, it can take up to a few weeks before it starts working properly. Noah should only need to stay in the hospital about a week and then finish his recovery at home. David will be here about two weeks,” Dr. Bolton added. “Generally, a transplant recipient starts to feel better almost immediately, once the anesthesia wears off. David will need to take medication here at the hospital and also when he goes home, to help prevent rejection of the kidney. But we’ll talk about that after the surgery.”
“I believe we’ve covered all the risks with you,” Dr. Lukeman said. “But now’s the time to address any other concerns or questions you may have. Most of the risks are on the recipient’s end. We don’t expect any issues as far as Noah is concerned.” Dr. Lukeman paused. “Which brings me to another point. Noah would like to visit with David before the surgery.”
Carley and Lillian both looked at Samuel.
It looked as though he might deny the request, but then he glanced at his wife. Her eyes pleaded with him, and finally, Samuel nodded.
“Noah has been admitted. He’s right down the hall. Can I bring him in?” Dr. Bolton asked.
“Yes, we’ll go get some coffee,” Lillian said as she motioned for Samuel and Carley to follow her out the door.
Carley edged toward the door.
Samuel didn’t budge. “I don’t need any kaffi. I will stay.”
“Samuel,” Lillian urged. “Maybe just give Noah a minute alone with David, no?”
Sighing, Samuel glanced at Dr. Bolton, who seemed to agree with Lillian.
“Pop, please let me talk to Noah alone.”
They all turned their attention to David, who spoke before he even opened his eyes. As they watched him gain focus, his gaze centered on Samuel. “Please, Pop.”
Samuel slowly stood up, reaching down to grasp his son’s hand. “All right, boy,” he said softly. “I will be back soon.”
The six of them eased out of the room, leaving David alone. Once in the corridor, Carley could see Noah down the hallway, waiting to see whether or not he’d be able to see David.
Dr. Lukeman excused himself and walked down the opposite hall.
“I’ll go get Noah,” Dr. Bolton said. “If you’d like to go have some coffee in the cafeteria, I’ll come find you after their visit.”
Samuel nodded but glanced back through the open door of his son’s room.
“Come on, Samuel,” Lillian coaxed.
“I’ll be there in a minute,” Carley said sheepishly to Lillian and Samuel.
Lillian and Samuel headed down the hallway. Carley walked alongside Dr. Bolton the short distance down the corridor to where Noah was standing.
Dr. Noah Stoltzfus. A man who took care of everyone around him—his patients, Dana, Jenna, and now David. Noah wanted to make right the wrongs he’d done and take care of his family and the community too. As Carley eyed him, standing tall and confident, she wondered, Who takes care of you, Noah?
The answer made her sad. That person should be here.
He smiled warmly at her when she and Dr. Bolton came within a few yards of him. But Noah wasn’t fooling her. He was nervous.
“Samuel agreed to let you speak with David,” Dr. Bolton said when they reached Noah. “I’ll leave you two for now. See you in a while, Noah.” He tipped his head in Carley’s direction and was gone.
Noah deliberately stood still, waiting for Dr. Bolton to move out of sight. Then he gazed into her eyes in a way that made her uncomfortable.
“What?” she asked.
“Carley,” he said softly. He tilted his head to one side and smiled.
“What?” she asked again.
Then, with no warning, Noah wrapped his arms around her, cupping the nape of her neck with one hand. She could feel the rapid beat of his heart against her ear. The moment was nice. It was tender. It was intimate, his body next to hers. It was . . .
It was wrong!
She pushed him away and stepped back. “You shouldn’t hug me like that.”
“What?” His face soured with a mixture of anger and hurt. “It was just a hug. I thought we were friends.”
“We are friends, but hugs like that should be reserved for special friends.”
“Oh, and we’re not special friends?” Noah placed his hands on his hips and leaned toward her.
“Of course we’re special friends.” She ran her hands through her hair and blew out a hard breath. “I meant it should be reserved for a girlfriend—or a wife.”
A smile stretched across Noah’s face. “Are you asking to be my girlfriend or my wife? Which is it?”
“What?” Her voice was loud enough to draw attention from a few passersby. She backed away from him. “What are you talking about?”
“What are you talking about?”
There couldn’t have been a worse time to talk about this. “You can reserve those types of hugs for your girlfriend.” She knew she sounded irritated.
“Back to the same question, I guess.” Noah was still grinning. “Are you asking to be my girlfriend?”
She shook her head. “I understand the position is filled.” He was disgustingly handsome, challenging her with his playful remarks.
“Filled?” He wasn’t smiling anymore, and confusion swept across his face. “By who?”
Carley raised her shoulders, dropped them, and sighed. “Dana told me you had a girlfriend, Noah. That’s all. Hugs like that should probably be reserved for her, and I think—”
“What?” His brows shot upward. “Dana told you what?”
“You heard me. She told me you had a girlfriend but that she’s out of the country right now. And, Noah, I’m sorry she’s not here to be with you during all this, but—”
Noah erupted in laughter. He leaned down with his hands on his knees and shook his head, trying to catch his breath. “Carley, I don’t have a girlfriend.” He looked up at her. “Far from it.”
“Well, then why would Dana say that?” Carley almost instantly knew the answer.
“I don’t know.” Noah closed in on her, his face inches from hers. “But it pleases me to know how much that bothered you.”
She stepped back. “I never said it bothered me.”
Noah chuckled. “You didn’t have to.” He wrapped his arms around her, again cupping the back of her neck, holding her close. And as relief rushed over her, she didn’t feel the need to push him away. “You are my special friend,” he said.
She felt his lips gently brush her cheek.
“You’d better go talk to David while you have the opportunity,” she said softly. Noah continued to hold her. And now that the misunderstanding was behind them, she knew what that initial hug had been about. He needed to be held. This wasn’t about her.
She returned the hug full force, staying in his arms until he was ready to move forward, to go talk to David, to ready himself for surgery.
To save a life.
Noah eased into David’s room. His nephew. Such a handsome young man. His face was pale, his eyes droopy, but still, he was a good-looking kid. The resemblance to Samuel at that age was unmistakable.
“Hey, David. How are you holding up?” Noah took a seat in the chair by the bed.
David shrugged. “Pop and Lillian look so scared. They’re makin’
me scared.”
“They’re parents. They’re going to worry. But, David, I know everything is going to be just fine. Do you have any questions?”
“Ya. What’s it going to feel like when I go to sleep?”
“First the doctors will give us something to make us kind of groggy. Then once they administer the drug to make us go to sleep, it will happen fairly quickly.” He paused. “That’s what I’ve heard, anyway.”
David’s eyes widened. “You’ve never been put to sleep before?”
“Nope. This is a first for me too.”
“Hmm.” David hesitated then asked, “Are you naerfich?”
“Yes, I’m nervous.”
Admitting his own fear seemed to give David comfort. And it felt good to admit it out loud.
“Ya, me too.” David’s expression grew grim. “It’s going to hurt a lot when we wake up, no?”
Noah didn’t want to add to the boy’s fear. But he didn’t want to lie to him either. “I think we’re both going to be uncomfortable when we wake up. But they will give us medications to help with that. And, David, you will most likely start feeling much better than you have been within a couple of days—better than before the surgery.”
“What about you?”
“I’ll be fine. I have the easy part. When they take my kidney, I’ll still have one working away. Your body will have to adjust to the new kidney. That might take a little time. But you’ll be back in those fields helping your pop in no time.”
“Is Carley your girlfriend?”
Boom. Right out of nowhere. “No,” he answered abruptly. Carley’s scent still lingered with him, a mixture of baby powder from Anna and a pleasant flowery aroma. “I mean, I’m not sure.”
David grinned, causing Noah to smile. “How can you not be sure?” David asked.
Glad he was temporarily diverting David’s mind from the surgery, Noah said, “I thought we were just friends, but . . . I don’t know.” He tilted his head to one side with the realization that he honestly didn’t know what he and Carley were. “I just don’t know,” he repeated, shaking his head.
“I like her.”
Noah nodded. “I like her too.”
After a brief silence, David said, “Danki, Onkel Noah, for doing this. For giving me one of your kidneys.”
Noah nodded, wishing that he knew this boy who called him uncle. “You’re very welcome, David.”
More silence. They were strangers to each other yet connected in a profound way—for life. Despite the resistance from those around them, Noah knew David felt it too.
“Are you going to return to the faith, Noah?” David asked. His eyes pleaded that it would be so.
Noah pushed his hair back, wishing he’d gotten a haircut before the surgery. “No, David. I’m not. I’m a doctor. I can’t imagine doing anything else.”
“I know about the book.” David ’s comment pierced Noah to the core. “They don’t know I know. Pop and Lillian.”
Noah rubbed his forehead, trying to keep the guilt at a manageable distance. “I’m not proud of the book. I wish I’d never written it.”
“It’s a pretty gut book though.”
“What?” Noah was shocked. “You’ve read it?”
David nodded guiltily. “It’s in Pop’s room. Please don’t tell him, Onkle Noah. It’d be a trip to the woodshed for sure. I was lookin’ for a book to read one day, and I found it in the cedar chest in Pop’s room, along with a bunch of other books.” He frowned. “I’m not supposed to be goin’ in Pop’s room. I wasn’t being schnuppich. I just wanted to read a new book.”
Getting David in trouble was the last thing he wanted to do. “I won’t tell him.” He cringed at the thought of David reading the book. Samuel would be beside himself with anger.
“Did you and Pop really jump off the river bridge when you were my age?”
Noah smiled as he recalled that summer so long ago. Their own pop would have blistered their behinds repeatedly if he’d ever found out they pulled that dangerous stunt. “Yes.” Noah arched his brows. “But don’t you ever try it.”
“No, not me. I don’t much like heights.”
Noah realized that the day-to-day functions of Amish life that he wrote about weren’t what interested David. While Samuel felt betrayed by the personal details in the book, David had never known another way of life. He hadn’t even had his rumschpringe yet. What interested David was Samuel at his age. Noah doubted Samuel had ever shared any of their childhood adventures with his son. Samuel was a very private man, like most of those in the Amish community.
“And you caught thirty-seven bass in Little John’s pond too?”
“We did.” Noah laughed. “We weren’t even supposed to be at the pond that day. Pop would’ve had our hides.”
Recalling some of the events from the book and seeing the joy in David’s eyes made Noah realize that much of what he’d written were his favorite boyhood memories. But he also knew there was no excuse for the other stories recounted in the book—events he’d recorded with bitterness. Maybe David had skimmed past those parts.
“Were you mad when you wrote some parts of the book?”
Apparently David had not skimmed any of it, and Noah wondered which parts he was referring to.
“Yes, I was bitter about being shunned and cast out from my family.”
“But you knew when you were baptized that it would happen if you left, no?”
Noah nodded. He knew his anger had spilled onto the pages, often in the form of poking fun at the Amish way of life. He regretted that more than anything—more than revealing private family happenings. The Amish way of life was to be cherished. Most people would go their entire lives without a sampling of what he’d been blessed with in his youth.
“I’m not feeling so good, Noah,” David said, his spirited mood slipping away as he changed the subject. “I feel real tired.”
“You rest, then,” Noah said, standing up. “And try not to worry.” He patted David on the arm. “Remember, I’ll be nearby in an adjoining room. And your pop will be there right beside you.”
Noah moved toward the door, wishing he could stay.
“Onkel Noah?”
Noah turned around. He was sure his expression reflected how much he liked the sound of that. “Yes?”
“I guess in a while, you’ll be a part of me.”
If Noah’s emotions weren’t frighteningly close to spilling over as it was, this kid would assure it. “Yes, I guess so,” he said, smiling warmly. “Forever bonded.”
David kept staring in his direction, as if he had more to say. Noah waited.
“I had a baremlich dream last night.” David squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, as if casting the thought away.
Recalling his own dream, Noah said, “I think it’s common to have scary dreams when you’re facing something like this. Nothing is going to happen to you. Everything is going to be fine.”
David’s pale face slumped with worry. “The dream wasn’t about me. It was about you.”
15
CARLEY FOLLOWED THE NURSE INTO THE OPERATING ROOM on rubbery legs. Visions of her own surgery six months earlier swirled in her head. When she saw the operating table and the large overhead lights, she felt faint. It was cold in the room, and the smell was nightmarishly familiar. But when she looked at Noah lying on the table, the visions of her past faded.
When not one family member had offered to be with Noah in the operating room, Carley knew it was the right thing to do.
“Hello,” she said nervously as she approached him.
“Carley, I know how you feel about hospitals in general. You don’t have to do this.” Noah reached for her hand.
“I’m fine.” She squeezed his hand.
“Guess this is the big moment.”
Noah was trying to keep things light, but he was not fooling her.
“Yes, it is. And it’s a wonderful thing you’re doing,” she said tenderly “By the way, where’s Dana? I’m sur
prised she’s not here.”
Noah grinned, as if recalling their conversation in the hall earlier. “I made her promise not to skip class or work today. This procedure is done all the time, and I assured her I’d be fine. She’ll be here this evening when she gets off work.” He smiled again. “Guess I need to have a little chat with her.”
Carley started to agree when she heard David call her name from the adjoining operating room.
She gently pried her hand from Noah’s. “Be right back.”
She walked around Noah’s gurney, entered David’s room, and stood beside Samuel. “Hello, Samuel.” He acknowledged her greeting with a nod. “How’s our boy doing?” She carefully wound her hand through the many wires and tubes running across David’s bed and clutched his hand. “I know you’ll be glad to get this over with.”
“Ya.” David motioned for Carley to lean down closer. “I’m glad you’re here with Noah. He really likes you.”
Carley glanced at Samuel, who didn’t say anything. She looked back at David. “Yeah, he’s a good guy. I’d better get back over there, but I’ll see you in just a little while.”
David smiled, but fear was etched across his young face. He’s too young to go through all this, Carley thought.
She eased her way back to Noah’s side, wondering if the hug they’d shared earlier was weighing as heavily on his mind as it was on hers. She reached for his hand again. She intertwined his fingers with hers and stood quietly at his side, unsure of her role.
Doctors Lukeman and Bolton were nowhere in sight, just two nurses and an anesthesiologist who indicated that he was ready to begin.
“This might make you feel a little loopy at first,” the anesthesiologist told Noah as he began injecting something into Noah’s IV.
“Noah.” It was David, and he sounded terrified.
“David, I’m right here with you, buddy. And I’ll see you in recovery,” Noah responded loudly. He turned his attention back to Carley, and she saw his eyes growing glassy. He smiled. “Good night, sweetheart.”
She squeezed his hand.
“You are a beautiful woman. So beautiful . . .”
“Thank you.” She smiled.
“Hey.” He paused, grinning like a little boy. “Wanna be my girlfriend?”