by Beth Wiseman
Lillian had been thrilled when Carley left a message at the shanty. She’d immediately called back and offered their home as a place to stay until Carley found a place of her own. Carley made Lillian promise not to tell Noah she was coming.
Surprising him, though, suddenly seemed a bold and scary move. The phone calls from him had stopped after the first week, and she had never responded to his letter. It had been six weeks since she left Lancaster County. What if Noah had changed his mind?
She had played things out in her head a million times. With or without Noah, a change was in order.
She wasn’t Amish, and although she’d tossed around the possibility, she had no plans to ever be Amish. She knew Lillian had adapted to the strict code of conduct the Amish practiced, and she wondered if her friend’s lack of a religious background had made it easier for her to make the transition. Carley, however, could feel her Catholic roots reestablishing themselves as her relationship with God grew, and she wanted to nurture the beliefs she’d been raised with. Going to church since she returned had aided in that effort.
But the faith and the strength of the women in Paradise had shed light on the person she wanted to be—a woman of faith. A hardworking woman with a purpose. Helping at Noah’s clinic would provide her with an opportunity to help make a difference—if the job was still available.
Matt said he understood but that he wished she would reconsider and stay longer at the newspaper until he could find a replacement, and until she was absolutely sure this move was the right thing. In the end, she gave a week’s notice. An intern at her office bought her car when Carley offered him too sweet a deal to pass up. Driving the car from Texas would have been a long haul. She’d use the money to buy herself another car when she arrived in Lancaster County.
The whole thing was crazy, but she had never felt more optimistic about the future. She just hoped Noah’s feelings ran as deeply as hers. She had done him wrong by leaving the way she did, not returning his phone calls, and not answering his letter. But at the time, she’d thought she was doing the right thing. She had certainly miscalculated when she assumed the miles between them would put distance in her heart.
As the cabdriver walked up the sidewalk, Carley began hauling her luggage toward the door—three overstuffed black suitcases and a small red one that she planned to carry on the plane with her. When the last suitcase was stowed in the car, she thanked the driver and headed back to the house to lock up for the last time.
She scanned the living room again then locked the door before venturing down the sidewalk to the cab . . . and to her new life.
Lillian had just served up some dippy eggs to Samuel and David when Samuel began to question her further about Carley’s return visit.
“She is coming back to be with Noah, no?” Samuel buttered a piece of toast and topped it with the eggs.
“Ya, partly. Noah doesn’t know she’s coming back. She wants to surprise him. But, too, Carley wants a fresh start, and she likes it here.”
Lillian couldn’t help but worry if surprising Noah was a good idea. She hadn’t talked to Noah much since the hospital. Who knew if Noah would still be receptive to Carley? Her hasty departure and failure to communicate had to have been quite a blow to him.
Lillian took a seat across from Samuel at the kitchen table. “I hope things will work out gut for Carley and Noah.”
Samuel helped himself to a biscuit but didn’t say anything.
“I like Carley,” David said. “I’m glad she’s coming back. I hope things work out for her and Onkel Noah too.”
Lillian glanced up at Samuel, checking for a reaction to David’s use of the word onkel, something he had done ever since the hospital. Lillian knew it was hard for David not to be able to spend time with Noah.
Lillian wondered what was going through both Samuel’s and David’s minds, but she remained quiet. Maybe the less they talked about it, the better.
“What time does her plane arrive?” Samuel asked.
Lillian swiped rhubarb jam on one of the biscuits. “Eleven o’clock this morning. She’ll rent a car and drive here from the airport.”
Samuel nodded. Lillian knew her husband well enough to know he had serious reservations about Carley staying with them again. It would throw Noah back into their lives. But despite the shunning, despite everything, Lillian knew Samuel needed Noah in his life. So did David. They all did.
Carley had made up her mind to drive straight to the clinic from the airport. She couldn’t wait to see Noah, but she was also fearful of his reaction when he saw her. What if he had changed his mind? Had she overhauled her life just for him? Could she really stay in Lancaster County if her future didn’t include him?
She faced all the arguments before she left Houston and concluded she could stay in Pennsylvania with or without him. But as she neared the clinic, she worried whether she had been honest with herself. Only one way to find out.
She pulled into the dirt parking lot at the clinic, smiling at the freshly planted begonias around the building. Three cars were in the parking lot. One of them was Noah’s, and one was Dana’s. She didn’t recognize the third car. A patient, she hoped.
Carley hadn’t told Dana she was coming either. She knew Dana stayed in close contact with Noah, and she was afraid it would be too hard for Dana to keep the secret.
Her heart pounded against her chest as she exited the rental car and started toward the building. She could see through the glass panes and into the waiting room. An empty waiting room.
Just breathe. She tried to calm her nerves. When she’d lingered long enough to realize she had to either go in or leave, she finally swung the door open.
“I can’t believe my eyes!” Dana yelled, standing up from behind the receptionist’s desk. “Noah!” she hollered, bolting out of the small area and into the waiting room.
“No, wait,” Carley whispered. She wasn’t ready. Not yet.
Dana threw her arms around Carley. “I knew you would come eventually.”
“I’m here.” Carley returned the hug and looked over Dana’s shoulder to see a nurse coming down the hallway.
“Noah is on the phone,” the plump, gray-haired woman said. “What’s all the fuss?”
“This is Carley,” Dana said proudly before turning to face the nurse.
The short woman smiled and put her hands on her hips, studying Carley from head to toe. “So you’re the one,” she said.
Dana spoke up before Carley could comment. “Yes, she’s the one.” Dana turned back and faced Carley. “Jenna is going to be so excited! She asks about you all the time.”
“Where is Jenna?” Carley stretched her neck to see around the nurse and down the hall.
“She started kindergarten. Can you believe it?” Dana glanced back at the woman in the hall. “Oh, I’m sorry. Carley, this is Gloria.”
The friendly woman approached Carley and extended her hand. “Very nice to meet you,” she said.
“I’m working here part-time until Noah can find someone,” Dana said, then her eyes lit up. “Are you staying?”
“I’d like to,” Carley answered sheepishly, again looking around Gloria and down the hall. Noah was bound to come down the hallway any second.
Gloria seemed to sense Carley’s anticipation. “Let me go see if Dr. Stoltzfus is off the phone.”
Dana wrapped her arms around Carley again. “I’m so glad you came.”
“But will Noah be glad?” Carley asked.
Dana pulled back and eyed her sharply. “You hurt him pretty bad by not returning his phone calls and letter.”
“I thought I was doing the right thing, Dana. I don’t know, I just—”
Noah was coming down the hall. He was still in desperate need of a haircut. His shirt was wrinkled, his nametag on crooked. And he had never looked better. But his face was as serious as Carley had ever seen. She couldn’t read his solemn expression, and she suddenly wanted to run out of the building. She deserved whatever wrath wa
s coming. She deserved for him to yell at her, to tell her to leave—to go back to Houston. Could she take that kind of rejection?
As he strutted down the hall, he gave no indication that he was happy to see her.
“Hello,” Carley said meekly.
He drew near her, slowing his pace. He didn’t say anything, his eyes reflecting his disbelief that she was there. But was he happy or not? She couldn’t tell, and she braced herself for a negative reaction.
He stopped right in front of her, squinted his eyes, and lifted his chin slightly.
“Noah.” She looked up at him with eyes that begged for forgiveness. “Oh, Noah. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry. I just . . .” The knot in her throat closed off her air supply, and her eyes filled with tears. Every emotion she had experienced over the past few weeks rose to the surface. Seeing Noah only magnified her love for him, her need to be with him. Her need for him to love her back. He had offered all that, and she had walked out on him.
Noah stepped back and glared into her pleading eyes.
Carley waited.
His eyes hardened. After staring for what felt like an eternity, Noah finally spoke. “I’ve been mad at you for weeks.”
Carley hung her head. In a last-ditch effort to redeem herself, she rambled. “I tried to answer your letter six times. The words just weren’t coming. I didn’t know what to say.” A tear spilled over and trickled down her cheek.
“I thought you were a writer,” he responded flatly.
She looked down and sniffled. “Not when it comes to matters of the heart.”
Noah didn’t move, so she went on. “It’s just that I didn’t want to mess up your life, and I just—”
“Are you staying?” He arched his brows. “Or did you just forget something?”
Carley slowly looked up at him, swiping away a tear. “Yes, I forgot something. I came back because I forgot something.”
With a scowling expression, he shifted his weight. “And what exactly did you forget?”
His tone made her want to run away. But she’d already done that once. She was at least going to say her piece.
Gazing into his eyes, she said, “I forgot to tell you that when I’m with you, life seems full of hope. I forgot to tell you what a wonderful, kind man you are.” She paused as another tear spilled over. “I forgot to tell you that I can’t imagine spending the rest of my life without you. I forgot to tell you that . . . I love you.”
Noah tilted his head to one side and rubbed his chin. “I don’t know if I can forgive you.”
Her heart broke. What did she expect? What a mistake she had made. “I understand,” she whispered before she looked away.
But Noah gently cupped her chin and raised her face upward. She had no choice but to look at him. His expression was solemn, but his eyes had softened.
“I can think of only one thing that would let me to forgive you.”
“Anything, Noah,” she pleaded.
He drew her face close to his. She could feel his breath. “Marry me, Carley.”
His lips met hers in a flurry of emotion as he pulled her close.
“I will, Noah,” she responded in between kisses, tears pouring down her cheeks. “I will.”
Carley and Lillian were taking clothes off the line later that afternoon when Carley told Lillian her news. After Lillian jumped for joy and embraced her friend, they began to tackle the particulars.
“I can’t believe Noah proposed so quickly,” Lillian exclaimed. She folded a towel and placed it in the laundry basket. “I’m so excited for you, Carley.”
Carley’s heart was relieved of the heaviness she had carried for so long, about so many things. “I was shocked, Lillian,” she said. Then she giggled. “But I wasted no time saying yes. I really do love him. I just hope that my not being able to have children won’t cause problems down the road. Family is so important to Noah. I’m going to have to trust in our love and trust in God.”
“God will guide your way, Carley. You’re a daughter of the promise now,” Lillian said, smiling.
“But I’m not Amish.”
“You don’t have to be. You’ve taken a spiritual journey and put your life in God’s hands.”
Carley thought about the way she had turned her life over to God. She had stopped questioning why things happened the way they did, and instead accepted them with a belief that God had a plan for her.
“Yes, I’m a daughter of the promise.” She smiled back at Lillian.
Lillian placed another towel in the basket. Instead of unclipping another one from the line, she turned to Carley. “You know, I’ve been thinking a lot about a way to include Noah in all our lives. Especially now that you’re going to be his wife. How nice it would be if we could all interact. Even if just some of the time.” She shook her head. “But Samuel doesn’t want to go against the bishop, and he still seems guarded about his feelings about Noah.” She wiped a bead of sweat from her forehead. “This heat is horrible.”
Carley had already thought about what it would be like sleeping in the farmhouse with no air-conditioning in August. “Yes, it is,” she agreed.
They resumed taking clothes off the line and folding them.
“When are you planning to get married?”
“Noah said he wants to get married as soon as possible. But it all is happening so fast.” Carley was still having a hard time believing she was actually going to be Noah’s wife. “Neither of us wants a lot of fanfare. Just something small. I stayed at the clinic for about two hours, and we talked about it. Dana left almost immediately after I got there.” Carley chuckled. “She placed a desktop nameplate, engraved with my name, on the receptionist’s desk and said she was no longer needed there. She said she couldn’t stand being cooped up in the small reception area. Can you believe that Noah actually ordered a nameplate in case I came back?”
“That was some very hopeful thinking on his part.” Lillian scooped up the laundry basket and headed toward the house. “Guess I’d better check on David and Anna. Dr. Bolton said last week that David is doing great, but he still can’t go back to work with Samuel in the fields for another few weeks. I’m going to miss him caring for Anna, though. I’ve been able to get so much done.”
From the kitchen, Carley could hear David playing with Anna in the next room. Lillian poked her head around to see that all was well, and then she and Carley both took a welcome break at the kitchen table. The cross-breeze from the open windows was refreshing, but not enough to stop the sweat running down the back of Carley’s neck. “Lillian, don’t you miss air-conditioning this time of year?”
“I did at first,” Lillian answered. “But believe it or not, you get used to it.” She tapped her finger against her chin. “Tomorrow is Sisters’ Day. It’s a large group, and we’re all meeting at Rebecca’s house. I’m going to talk to the others about some way we can make this work with Noah. Mary Ellen, Rebecca, Sadie, and mei mamm were all so glad you were coming back. It was never discussed, but I know they were all hoping you and Noah would be married. Even Esther got a gleam in her eye when she heard you were returning to Paradise. They all want Noah to be happy, and although no one says much, they wish the shunning could be toned down. Can you come to Sisters’ Day tomorrow morning? I know everyone wants to see you.”
“Hug everyone for me, and tell them I hope to see them all soon, but it appears I have a job.” Carley smiled. “I told Noah I would be there in the morning, though patients are scarce. The location he selected for the clinic was custom picked to accommodate the Amish community. And that doesn’t seem to be working out.”
“I know,” Lillian said regretfully. Then she smiled. “We’ll see about that.” A week later, Carley was settled comfortably into her routine. Up at four thirty with Lillian, she would help with breakfast and household chores until nine o’clock in the morning. Then she headed to the clinic, which was averaging two patients per day. While the lack of patrons was disheartening, the upside was that she an
d Noah often spent hours talking. And unlike when she arrived in Paradise the first time, there was no longer a need for a nap and the hard work exhilarated her, as opposed to exhausting her.
As she sat twiddling her thumbs this Tuesday morning, Noah was on the phone with Dr. Bolton in his office. From what Carley could hear from down the hall, Noah was asking about David’s progress and updating Dr. Bolton about his own recovery. Gloria was in the file room down the hall—a small storage room converted to hold six file cabinets, most of which remained empty. But Gloria optimistically readied file folders for use when new patients arrived.
Carley glanced at her watch. Ten thirty. They’d only had one patient this morning. A woman Gloria knew brought in her two-year- old son who had a fever. Otherwise, all had been quiet.
Until now.
As much as Carley wanted the Amish to patronize Noah’s clinic, the sight of the first buggy pulling up to the building sent her heart racing with worry, which escalated as she watched Mary Ellen step out of the buggy and tie off on one of the stumps Noah had installed out front. Hoping it was nothing serious, Carley watched Mary Ellen and another Amish woman she didn’t recognize draw closer. The woman was toting a baby.
Carley headed down the hallway toward Noah’s office. She motioned for Noah to get off the phone. He ended the conversation and met her at the door.
“Mary Ellen is here, and she’s with another Amish woman with a baby.” Carley tried to mask her concern, but Noah’s eyes grew reflective at the mention of Mary Ellen.
“Gloria, we have a patient,” Noah said to Gloria when he met her in the hallway. Gloria nodded, and Noah and Carley headed up front.
The bell Carley had placed on the front door rang when Mary Ellen and the other woman entered.
Carley took a seat in the reception nook, and Noah stood nearby.
“Hello, Carley. Hello, Noah,” Mary Ellen said nervously. “This is Lizzie Kauffman and her daughter, Naomi.” Mary Ellen nodded toward Lizzie and the baby. Lizzie seemed as sheepish as Mary Ellen about being at the clinic.