Focused

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Focused Page 17

by Julie B. Cosgrove


  Bud seemed to follow along without missing a beat as they joined hands and Jeff offered Grace. He grabbed his napkin and with a snap, put it in his lap. “Jeff? So what time’s church?”

  Jeff held the bowl of potato salad in mid-air. “Uh, we usually go to Bible study first. That starts at 9 a.m.. Service is at 10:30. I can give you directions…”

  “That’s real nice. But can I go with y’all at nine? I could use a bit of Bible study.” He winked at Christina.

  She smoothed the napkin into her lap.

  Chapter 33 Strangely Blessed

  The next morning, Christina and Jeff’s nostrils awoke to the aroma of fresh brewed coffee and sizzling bacon. Christina threw back her covers and yawned the grogginess out of her system. Then, seeing the lump next to her move, she remembered that there was a third person in the house. The memory of the past twenty-four hours replayed in her mind as she orientated herself awake.

  It had been after midnight when she left the two chatting about who would be the best candidate for State Senator in the upcoming primaries. The clock on the bed stand now read 7:45.

  “Up, Jeff. We better hustle if we are going to eat and still make it to church on time.”

  A mumble answered back as the covers moved to reveal disheveled hair sticking on her husband’s forehead.

  The two tied the sashes of their robes then stumbled down the hall. A bright sunny “Good morning, folks.” greeted them.

  There stood their houseguest, showered, dressed in tie and coat, with Jeff’s BBQ apron wrapped around him. With one hand he sipped coffee, with the other one, he slung hash.

  “Breakfast’s up.”

  The robed couple shuffled to the breakfast table.

  “Glad to have you with us,” Jeff said as he sniffed the bacon and eggs being plopped on a plate in front of him. “Coffee sure smells good.”

  Christina chose to ignore the condition of her kitchen and, instead, shoved a piece of bacon in her mouth.

  When the blue-eyed, dark-haired wonder entered the adult’s Bible study meeting room, several heads turned. Mary Ellen dropped her Bible on the floor. Bud’s eyes kept falling on her as Jeff and Christina introduced him around.

  Christina had never seen Bud so polite and, well, quiet. Though he didn’t say a word and twice needed help to find the passage in the extra Bible she lent him, Bud appeared to be genuinely attentive to the conversation and the study leader’s comments. In the service, she caught his eye wondering two rows up and over as May Ellen sang, sharing her hymnal with Harriet.

  The same old tingle surged up her arm to her heart when they brushed hands as she helped him find his place in the prayer book. She felt the warmth creep into her cheeks and tried to halt its progress with a small cough. What is this? Surely not jealousy. I have Jeff. Honest as the day is long, non-boozing, non-cussing Jeff.

  She swallowed down the awkwardness she felt and concentrated on the list of the sick in the parish they prayed over at the moment. “…Mary, Todd, Janie and child, Buffy, Maria and child, Nancy, Barbara’s parents named Nell and Charlie…” The reader announced each slowly and clearly. “And for those serving our country here and in danger abroad: Steve, Carrie, Bob, Pete, Madison, Jason, Billy, and Betsy. And finally, for those for whom no one else ever prays, Amen.”

  When it came time to pass the Peace, she hugged Jeff and Josh to her right then extended her hand to shake Bud’s. He winked as he clasped her hand in his, then in a split second turned to the couple behind them and exchanged the Peace with them. Christina saw Mary Ellen try to navigate over to them. Instead, Christina made a beeline to meet her first, stepping over Bud and hugging her way as she went. She felt Bud’s eyes on her back as she and Mary Ellen exchanged the Peace. Is Bud’s stare for me or Mary Ellen? As she pulled away, she saw her friend shyly look around her, smile and wiggle her fingers in a tiny wave. She turned to see Bud smile and nod in her direction. After church, she noticed the two huddled in conversation at the Coffee Hour.

  Jeff noticed them as well. “Seems like a whiff of romance in the air.”

  “Yeah. Well, Mary Ellen’s divorce just became official a few weeks ago. She’s still very raw.” Christina’s voice had a little too much of an edge.

  “Okay?” Her husband’s pondering tone hit her like a slap in the face. “You don’t have to be snippy about it.”

  “I’m sorry, hon,” Christina made a weak smile. She was being snippy, like a jealous female and Jeff picked up on it. She backpedaled to cover her tracks. “I guess I’m just tired. And I think I found some muscles I hadn’t been using a lot before yesterday.”

  Jeff put a hand on the small of his back and sighed. “I hear ya.”

  Christina placed her hand over his and gave him a sympathetic look. Whew. Dodged that bullet.

  “Okay. Look, they’re both your friends. I know you don’t want them to get hurt. I’ll talk with Bud, you talk with Mary Ellen. Deal?” Jeff offered.

  “Umm. Not yet. Let’s see where this leads. They are both adults. Bruised, hearts on their sleeves and lonely, but adults. I’ve done my parenting.”

  “Sure you have.” Jeff threw back his head and laughed, which made a lot of heads turn, including the just-meeting couple.

  Bud gave Christina a look she could not quite interpret. Harriet whispered a little too loudly, “Jeff, I need to talk to you about that function we are having soon.” Her voice ended in a higher note.

  Christina shot him a quizzical look.

  Jeff replied, “Sure. Be right back, babe. They need some advice on …”

  “…constructing a stage for the end of school shindig.” Harriet caught her faux pas and quickly finished his sentence. She ushered him away, chattering non-stop. Bud got Mary Ellen another cup of punch. Christina stood in the middle of the parish hall perplexed and suddenly, a bit lonely.

  Later that afternoon, Josh came over. He, Bud and Jeff settled in to watch the Texas Rangers on TV. Not really interested in baseball if her son or his friends weren’t playing, Christina decided to drag out the teddy bear box, as she called the carton full of her son’s childhood memorabilia. She sat on the floor of office and unwrapped each tidbit as if it was made of the finest spun glass.

  There was the construction paper Christmas snowflake Josh once cut out, jagged-edged and torn from using baby scissors with the rounded ends. Scrawls of purple and red littered the center, crayon marks hastily added with a tongue tip hanging out the side of his mouth, no doubt. She could see him sitting there cross-legged on the floor beside her. Where had the years gone?

  She picked up the tassel from his graduation cap. It seemed like last year he walked across that stage, and now he was a sophomore in college with an apartment of his own and a job with potential advancement. Josh had grown up, a bit more as of late.

  She peered into the den to observe him interacting with Bud and his dad. Three grown men on the couch in male-bonded camaraderie over a team not exactly winning. Christina couldn’t help but get a warm, fuzzy feeling. All the stages of her life—her carefree teens, her married life and motherhood —sat blended together on her couch.

  She felt strangely blessed.

  Chapter 34 Fair Maid

  Avery came at 7:30 in the morning on Thursdays so she could get a bright and early start. She cleaned another house that day, so she wanted to be off by the time the bus dropped off her son at 3:30. Her daughter was in daycare all day. Christina liked her coming so early. By then, Jeff usually headed out the door for work. He’d politely acknowledge Avery’s presence, thank her for the job she did, and dash off to his job. Christina didn’t have to be at work until 9:00, so it gave them time to sit over a cup of coffee, chat and go over what needed to be done.

  They also prayed together and shared lists of people who needed prayer. Avery went to the mega non-denominational church where so many of the younger generation were drawn these days. It was something Christina could not understand. Sure the music rocked the house. She loved contemporary
and gospel music, too and often wished they would loosen up and have more of it where she worshipped. But she wouldn’t give up the intimacy of St. Martin’s, the sense of family she always felt there. Maybe that feeling existed in the mega churches, but she doubted it. After they prayed and poured their coffee, Christina informed Avery of the latest twist in the household.

  “I need to tell you we have a guest.”

  “I wondered whose truck that was I saw at the curb,” the astute young woman said.

  “His name is Bud. He is an old high school friend going through a rough time.”

  “Then he’s… your age?” the maid asked as she stirred her coffee.

  “Avery Joseph. Are you looking?” Christina asked, a little astonished and a little glad. It meant her friend was healing.

  She smirked but wouldn’t look up from her coffee cup. “I saw his head in the bedroom window. He’s pretty good looking, isn’t he?”

  Just then the familiar stride of boots came down the hall.

  “Morning… uh? Ladies?” Bud asked, seeing the two sitting where usually one sat. He came up and extended his hand to the younger. The Owen charm began to dance in his eyes.

  “ Howdy. Name’s Bud. And the pleasure’s all mine. And you are…”

  “Avery,” the younger woman replied with a slight blush in her cheeks.

  “Did I mention we had a maid?” His hostess responded. And perhaps I should stay and chaperone?

  Bud answered no, but never took his eyes off Avery.

  “Coffee?” Christina kept her tone upbeat. “So, how’d your date with Mary Ellen go?” She saw his hand drop to his side as she poured him a cup. Avery looked away.

  “We’re, uh, not really, you know, dating. Just went to the movies together. In fact, we met two others in the Singles Again support group from your church. It was a group thing, really.” The man tripped over every sentence but never lost the twinkle in his eye.

  Christina couldn’t help but notice Avery hung on every syllable. His explanations obviously were not geared to his hostess.

  “Time we both got to work, right Avery?” She smiled at her maid then turned to Bud. “Will you be here tonight for dinner or are you all going to the movies again?”

  Avery scooted the chair back and went into the utility room for the broom. Bud’s eyes narrowed. He had a “what’s going on” look on his face.

  Christina ignored it. “Gotta run.”

  Why did she feel so catty? Her actions stupefied her. Who cares if Avery or Mary Ellen or any single woman under the age of ninety-five took a shine to Bud. Not my problem.

  As she drove to work, she tried to analyze the uneasiness. He brought out the high school in her again as if her feelings were stuck in a time warp of past memories and reactions. He made her feel young and stupid again, as if they were still floating in the river, he is his cut-offs, she in her psychedelic colored bikini, bobbing in the water to the beat of the Doors’ latest hit as it blared from the transistor radio on shore.

  Maybe the hurt from that summer night in high school still loomed. Bud betrayed of a lifelong friendship in one hormonal- surged gesture planted on her lips when she cried on his shoulder over the breakup with her first beau. Caught off guard by the mood and the Boones Farm wine he’d poured into her, she melted into it, half wishing he was the cure for her broken heart. Feeling his touch, she hoped Mr. Right existed after all, all these years right under her nose. Then the alarm inside her head blared when his hand slipped under her blouse. In response, her stomach returned what had previously been in her glass, all over the seat of his truck. Those were the days—better never repeated.

  Could it be she still didn’t trust the guy? Was she just being protective? And of whom? Christina wished she could bounce this off Jeff. No way. Honesty was one thing. Stupidity another.

  She wanted her dad more than anything. Stopping at the intersection, she fought the urge to turn to the west again. Instead, duty called. She had to earn her pay like a grown-up. No more sixteen-year-old emotions. Buck it up.

  Besides, that rocker still sat empty up at the cabin. She guessed it always would.

  * * *

  Jeff, however, wasn’t sure the world was as rosy as it seemed at home. He sensed an underlying chemistry between his wife and her old River Rat friend. Trouble brewed under the surface. He just couldn’t put a finger on it. Perhaps they just shared a childhood bond? Perhaps more after their recent meeting during the flood. Women still fell for that knight in shining armor stuff. Could his wife be immune just because she had a gold band on her finger?

  Then again, Christina did tell me she began every morning now with prayer. Perhaps that’s the reason she seemed more put together and cheerful? Jeff tapped the dashboard with his hand as he waited for the line of cars ahead of him to inch another few turns of the tires before jerking to a halt, again. Craning his neck, he could see the pulsating blue and red flashes ahead. Must be a really good wreck.

  Flipping his cell open, he punched in the speed dial for the office and let the answering machine know he was stuck on the highway, still about fifteen miles out. Marjorie lived south so she wouldn’t be stuck in this muck. She’d get the message then tell Bob and the apprentices.

  Jeff settled back into his thoughts, and wiggled his already sticky back away from the car seat to air it a bit. He couldn’t deny something about his wife had changed. Something happened in the flood up in the Hill Country that altered her outlook. It had to be more than new glasses, though he knew the old pair had long been a thorn in her flesh. He should be grateful she appeared more cheery and relaxed. The atmosphere in their home had improved since she came back. Even more so since that late night porch talk. Now, she seemed downright happy. Could it be her new focus on God? Maybe it’s because she has Avery around who is, by the way, doing an excellent job. That thought made Jeff nod and smile, which perplexed the grouchy driver next to him honking his horn in frustration. Jeff lifted two fingers off the steering wheel in a short wave then looked ahead again. Maybe he had fixed something after all. Then again . . .

  Jeff couldn’t get rid of the nagging suspicion the reason for his wife’s change in mood stemmed from Bud being back in her life. He had been up there when the flood hit. Then he shows up out of the blue at their front door. What was that about?

  Jeff gripped the steering wheel tighter. He’d never had any reason to doubt his wife’s fidelity and love up until now. To force the nagging thought back to the rear of his brain, he flipped on the Talk Radio channel and half listened to the political chatter that bantered through the speakers. But the uneasiness kept resurfacing the way Christina’s recipe for chili cheese meatloaf often did.

  After mulling it over for a few days, Jeff couldn’t stand it eating at him anymore. One night, he came into the bedroom and sat on the bed as his wife brushed her hair. He noticed she hummed.

  He blurted out, “What’s with you and Bud?”

  Christina stopped with the brush halfway in her hair. “Excuse me?”

  He noticed her face as she peered into the mirror at his backward image. Her skin looked paler than it had been a second ago. I’ve got her.

  “If I didn’t know better, I’d say you were a touch jealous of Mary Ellen, or is it Avery? I caught him talking to her. Is he dating them both?” Jeff said. He sat on the bed, hands on his knees and leaned in closer to her.

  “Oh, for goodness sakes!” She slammed her brush down and walked into the bathroom. She slammed the door, too.

  Jeff might have let it go some other time, but not tonight. Not after that reaction. He got up, walked over and pushed the bathroom door open, whacking her in the rear. He smirked at the fittingness of the action.

  “Well…?” This time it was his turn to stare at her backward image in the medicine cabinet mirror. She turned with daggers in her eyes and stuck the toothbrush in her mouth. Then she pulled the door closed.

  Jeff felt the flush in his cheeks and the muscles ripple in his back. He thre
w the bedspread back, grabbed a pillow and the afghan throw off the bench then headed down the hall to the couch in the den.

  * * *

  Christina tried to spit out her anger with the toothpaste, but it didn’t work. She rinsed out her toothbrush and opened the door. She noticed the tousled bedspread, then the missing afghan and pillow. She hissed under her breath and headed down the hall to the den.

  There on the couch lay a lump under the throw in the shape of her husband. He was curled in a fetal position, his face squished into the sofa back. Christina sat down, nudging her hip into his back.

  “Jeff, for Heaven’s sake.” Her exasperated voice quivered with emotions she couldn’t begin to sort through and didn’t really care to either. “What are you doing out here?”

  The lump shifted and replied. “I’ve had it, Christina. I want to know exactly what went on between you two in that flood you haven’t told me. Don’t tell me ‘Nothing’.”

  “Why not? It’s true.”

  “That’s not the way it looks from my side.”

  “Oh? And how does it look, Jeff? What on earth have I done to hint that anything went on?” She wanted to hit him with the throw pillow he’d tossed aside onto the floor. Where did this idea of his come from and why? She couldn’t, for the life of her, figure it out.

  The lump shifted some more and sat up, unwrapping the throw which had been around him. “Oh, you’ve been real good at not hinting. Bud, however, hasn’t. I see the way he looks at you.”

  “Jeff…” Christina got up and sat on the coffee table. She ran her hands through her hair and stared at the floor. She knew whatever she said next would be the fuel to flare this smoldering inferno. She thought of heading back down the hall and avoiding it all. The way she used to. Just swallow it down. Tell him you love him and you are sorry if you did anything to worry him. Tell him he’s the best man you could ever ask for. Walk away. He’ll calm down. Status quo will resume.

 

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