The Council would listen to reason with the latest losses. They must. Otherwise, they precipitated our doom. I did not regret ending Cade’s sorry existence. The Council preached that every life was precious and must be protected. But he had lost his objectivity and murdered Quinten without a second thought. How many more men had died at his hands when he deemed them unnecessary?
It was past time I returned to the Compound. Had they breached our walls and entered Command? Or had the Red Squadron beat them back and held our defensive line? I hoisted Quinten’s body over my shoulder, thanking the gods for my powers. If I had merely been human, I would never have been able to carry his two hundred pounds of dead weight. I shot my sensors out, searching for any demon signatures. Satisfied there wasn’t a bleep on my radar, I high-tailed it, as fast as I could with my burden, away from the carnage, leaving behind the weapons, erasing my energy tracers as I went, cleaning up any trail a demon might find. The general had taught me, although all Cantati were trained with the knowledge. The best way to describe it was, we took our energy, expanded it outside ourselves, and used it like a washrag to remove any trace amounts of our energy.
I did not understand the physics behind it, but knew it had something to do with a Cantati’s powers. It was something we were gifted with, like SPD, or Synaptic Pathways Diversion. Part of being one of the enlightened, as the Coven had nicknamed us.
We could move and work with the elements of nature. I thought it was nature’s way of trying to balance the scales, and keep humans from extinction. Granted, we weren’t really human, not entirely anyway, our genetic make-up different from that of our human brethren.
Block by block, I swept the area of my signature and that of any Cantati that could lead the enemy back to the Compound. Sweat dripped, coating my skin, even in the cool brisk temperatures of a London fall night. The extra weight of Quinten’s body made this task much more difficult.
I arrived back at the Compound in a little under an hour. As I strode through the western gate, a group of soldiers took Quinten’s body for me.
“We’ll take him from here, sir.”
“Thank you, Private.” His body would be prepared for its funeral pyre. We used the Tower Bridge and Thames River as our burial ground. The body burned on top of a funeral pyre, then its ashes were scattered into the water below.
I marched toward the Command Center. The general needed to know how many losses we had sustained. Then we must shore up resources and prepare for the next attack. He had to rethink his worldwide assault strategy with the severity of this recent annihilation.
The halls were crowded with refugees and soldiers alike. The whole Compound was suffused in chaos. Women sobbed, children cried, and men wore haggard, shell-shocked expressions. What the hell had happened while I was gone?
I spotted Ben and Luke over the ruckus. I approached them just as they noticed me. They were at my side in a heartbeat. Relief riddled their faces. Ben reached me first and pulled me into a bear hug. He squeezed me tight before releasing me.
“Lieutenant. We thought you were dead,” Ben admonished, and I caught the glimmer of wetness in his eyes.
“Where were you?” Luke asked reproachfully. My golden boy, always so adroit, brought me up short with his question. He knew something. They all would once the patrols spotted the fires.
“Out with the Blue Squad,” I replied, hating myself. Quinten had died because I had convinced him we were needed in the field. Maybe we had been and had beaten back monsters who would have reached the Compound. Or maybe we had caused more deaths, those of our now-fallen brethren, because of our actions.
“Where is the Blue Squad?” Luke inquired.
I brought my glance up to his. His gaze hardened with what he saw there. He knew. But he waited, needing to hear it from my lips.
“Dead,” I answered. Luke cringed away from me, as though I had scalded him with my words and betrayed an unspeakable, invisible bond between us. With a swiftness that stunned me, he severed his kinder feelings toward me, the camaraderie we had always shared. In a millisecond, they evaporated.
“Quinten?” Ben cried. I winced. They had been friends for a long time. His death was the hardest to report.
I shook my head. How would they react when they discovered it was my fault? That my decision, my selfishness, had caused his demise. I had irrevocably altered his fate and my own. All because I could not get with the program and breed with Cade.
Ben hung his head but not before I noticed the sheen of unshed tears.
“Come, the general has been looking for you.” He said with a coldness I had not known he had in him. His golden-boy image had hardened into a disdainful god. He understood, more than Ben, that I had been involved with our friend’s death. He blamed me for it. I did, too. There would be no absolution for this night. There would be no more chances from the Council or from the men I had once called friends, if they ever discovered my horrible secret. I was an abomination to the Cantati way of life, and I would pay for my recklessness.
I followed Luke and Ben into the Command Center. My father saw me the moment I crossed the threshold.
“Put her in my office. Guard the door to make sure she doesn’t leave,” he ordered.
“Yes, sir.” Luke saluted and grabbed my arm. Ben opened the door and Luke dragged me into my father’s dimly lit office.
Guard me? Was I under arrest? Did they know the crimes I’d committed?
“Stay.” He pointed before he and Ben departed.
Exhaustion settled in. I had been living on nothing but anger for what seemed like days, but no more than thirty-six hours had passed since the Council’s initial ruling. How had it all come to this?
I sat in my father’s chair, uncaring of the blood caked on my clothing. Leaning my head back, I started to nod off, until the office door slammed open. My father stood at attention, his glance scathing where there should have been concern and relief.
“What the hell happened, Lieutenant? You were relieved of your duties and expressly ordered to remain in your room. So why is it, when I sent soldiers to retrieve you and bring you into Command, that you were nowhere to be found? Then you appear, hours later, covered in blood. Explain.”
He stood, a soldier stoically at attention, awaiting my response. Had I always been a disappointment to him? Were we forever destined to disagree and butt heads?
“They are all dead.”
“What? Where did you get your intel?”
“I went with Cade and Quinten, to help them, but they all died,” I lied. He didn’t need to know my part in it.
“Cade’s platoon?”
“All dead. I’m surprised the scouts haven’t seen the fires I set. We need to send a small unit to retrieve all the weapons I gathered from the dead in Sector Four.”
“Christ.” He rubbed his hands over his face. “I’ll be right back. Stay here. I’ll have someone bring you some food.”
Dad exited his office. I noticed Ben and Luke were still stationed outside his door. I heard the deep rumble of my dad’s voice as he issued orders for the weapons detail. I collapsed back onto his chair and waited.
I heard movement around outside his office. Time crept by, and voices whispered outside the door. A thousand weights bore down upon my soul. Images of Quinten and the guys laughing together in the mess hall, playing poker in the barracks, and even my first full glimpse of his nude form. Those pictures, the memories, especially the last glimpse, his sorrow when he realized he would lose the fight and we would never be, pummeled me.
Someone brought me food, a Levare woman, whom Ben and Luke allowed into the general’s office. She shuffled over to the desk and laid a tray down with today’s gruel. “Thank you,” I murmured, while Luke glared daggers in my direction. He could piss off. I knew he was angry at all the deaths, but it was his shoddy intel that the general would have looked to when issuing orders. The woman nodded her head and retraced her steps.
Luke slammed the door after she exited
the room. I had expected the cold shoulder, the distancing from my father, but I had never expected it from Luke. Just when I thought I couldn’t feel worse, that my soul could not bleed any further, I was proved wrong.
I leaned my head back against the chair. Avoiding the gruel, which smelled like spoiled fish, I closed my eyes.
The door shuddered open on its hinges and slammed into the wall.
“Dammit, girl!” Dad shut the door behind him and stomped into the room. “You were right. Every last bleeding one of those men, gone. What the fuck happened? And why were you with them?”
Exhaustion had dulled the edges some, but I had to lie. No one could know my true crimes against my people.
“We were ambushed by hundreds, General. Your initial reports were wrong about the numbers. I fear Drystan has figured out we have someone who can sense his numbers. When the sirens went off for a second time, Quinten and I joined Cade’s bunch. They were already overrun by the time we joined. We were needed, General, and I believe we prevented them from breaching our walls.”
“Bleeding Christ, this is a mess.”
“You need me back leading the Cantati Forces, not as a Breeder. I think the worldwide attacks need to be changed or postponed until we can figure out Drystan’s next move.”
I glanced at him. I needed to be reinstated, to fight back so that Quinten did not die in vain. The only way I could ensure that was out in the field.
“Agreed. Listen to me.” He leaned in close. “There may be a way around the Council’s orders. They won’t allow it unless you pick another, right this moment, and we tell the Council.”
“Like hell!” No, I wasn’t doing it. I could still smell Quinten. The last thing I wanted was another man in my bed. Or worse, dead because of me.
“It will be a farce. We’ll get one of your men to agree, but he won’t actually bed you. Understand? Then I will petition the Council that until I can find another candidate, you will be leading what is left of the Green Squad until you are pregnant.”
Could I pick another and lie to the Council? At least with Quinten I had been willing to offer him my body so it would not have been a complete lie. Who did I have left to choose from? Luke, Ben, or Nick? Picking another would never assuage my guilt over Quinten. If I had to pick between the remaining candidates, it would have to be Luke. Ben had shit for brains at times, and Nick was far too young.
This did not sit well with me. “But what happens when I don’t end up pregnant?”
“We’ll deal with that when the time comes. Will you do it?” Dad kept glancing at his computer screens, like he was just as worried about committing treason as I was.
Could I do this? I would have my life back, but I would be damning someone else. I had to. The stakes were too high, and we had lost too many good men today. If this was the sure fire way to put me back in field command, so be it.
“Fine, I’ll do it.” There were moments that define someone. Moments when faced with the surety of defeat, we catch a glimmer of hope that one could survive living.
“Who?” He was curious and showed more interest in me than he had in a decade. Would wonders never cease to amaze me? It had taken him believing he had lost me to show that he cared.
“Luke.”
My father actually smiled. “Good girl.”
He went to his door. “Luke, could you come in here please?”
“Yes, sir.” Luke did the general’s bidding without question. He shut the door behind himself and approached my father’s desk, saluting.
“Sir, I apologize that the numbers I read were incorrect. Sector radar had not detected those numbers, either. If you want to remove me from duty, I understand.”
“Have a seat, Major. I don’t believe you intentionally gave us the wrong numbers. I think Alana is right. Drystan has found a way to block your abilities, or cloud them at the very least. That’s not why I brought you in here.”
Surprised, Luke glanced between me and my father. “Then …”
“With Cade’s entire division gone, along with part of the Green Squad, I need Alana back commanding Cantati Forces. The only way I can convince the Council is if she already has another mate in place.”
Luke appeared shell-shocked, “And you want me to be her chosen mate?”
“On paper, yes. Alana belongs in the field, leading my men, not as a Breeder. You won’t actually consummate your union, at least not initially. We need time to rebuild our ranks, while keeping this place safe. For all her rebelliousness, she’s the best leader I have, and if we are to survive, we need her skills.”
Warmth seeped through me, and I hid my smile.
Luke shot me a derisive look. “And you are okay with deceiving the Council like this?”
“Yes. Are you? With Cade’s death, I have to choose another mate, even if it is a fake mate.”
“I need to think about it.” Luke’s agitation burst out. He stood and left without being dismissed.
My father studied me. He would forgive Luke his lack of protocol. We had dropped a bomb on him and asked him to betray his oath. I’d caused one hell of a ruckus when I was assigned to Cade. Luke deserved the same consideration. Although, being on the receiving end of Luke’s consternation made me feel like I was a three-headed monster.
“We still have to face the Council. Do you think Luke will come around?”
“Honestly, I don’t know.” I shook my head. “Wait, didn’t the Council leave for the Versailles Compound?”
“Yes.” He hit the controls on his computer, and the holograms bloomed.
“Come in, Coven Mother.”
The images of the Council appeared on the screens. The Coven Mother stared me down, boring holes into my soul before shifting her focus to my father.
“What about the rest of Cade’s men, General? The missive we received only spoke of his ill fate.” I had been removed from under the razor’s edge of scrutiny for the moment.
“Dead,” The general uttered.
The Council members cried out.
“And you, you were part of this?” the Coven Mother inquired, glowering at me. “Why did you defy the Council again, Alana? You have consistently challenged our orders. And now your chosen mate perished in the attack.”
“Hear her out, Amelia,” my father interjected.
“Silence, Commander. You will not interfere with these proceedings again or I will have you removed from command. Understood?” Amelia glared at my father and I noticed hatred in her eyes. In all my years, I had never heard anyone speak down to my father or belittle his station.
“Yes, ma’am,” he replied, and I heard him grind his teeth. So apparently theirs was not a match made in heaven. Maybe that was why he was willing to help me now.
“What actually happened out there? How is it you survived when no one else did?” Amelia asked. She wanted to use magic on me to uncover the truth. I could tell she desired it greatly, but the rest of the Council would find it appalling. She was a bleeding hypocrite.
“Council members, had I not defied the will of the Council by joining the battle, the Compound walls would have been breached. They attacked us with hundreds of their kind.”
“How do I know you are not lying to us?”
“You don’t. What I do know is that I made a difference today and stopped their forward progression. Punish me, if you like, but I was doing this for our people, to protect them. You might want to consider doing the same.”
Council members gasped. My father shook his head at my response. Screw that.
“I request that I be reinstated in the Cantati Forces.”
“We need you as a Breeder,” came Amelia’s scathing reply, like that was all I should expect from my life and should be thankful for it.
“Council members, I can be both. I am needed on the force, but will also concede after the good men we lost today that we do need to replenish our ranks and will serve until such time as I am with child. I will only leave the forces long enough to birth the child, t
hen return to active duty.”
“I agree, Amelia,” my father said. “I need the lieutenant reinstated. I don’t have anyone else as qualified to lead the forces. Right now we are sitting ducks with our losses.”
The Coven Mother glanced between us. She was not happy about the direction these proceedings had taken. The other members whispered amongst themselves until the Coven Mother glared at them sharply. It struck me between the eyes. Power, I had it, and that threatened Amelia. She liked her position, the accolades and the authority it granted her, too much.
“And did you make your choice?”
“Yes.” Luke would forgive me, eventually. Once the dust settled a bit, we could even discuss the potential future in which we could make it a real union. But for now, the sake of our people must come first.
“Who?” Amelia asked, her hard face showing a bare shimmer of curiosity.
Forgive me, Quinten. I promise not to forget your sacrifice.
“Luke Holland,” I declared.
“So be it. You are reinstated as lieutenant until such time as you are carrying the offspring of Major Holland.” Amelia ruled in my favor, for once. I think the rest of the Council would have rebuked her had she tried to keep me from the front lines. The Council was afraid, as they should be, that Drystan was winning with his new combat strategies.
“Thank you.” It was more than I’d hoped could happen. For whatever reasons, my fate had become intertwined with Luke. I prayed he would keep our secret.
“Fine. You are dismissed.” Amelia shifted her attention from me to my father. He nodded that I could leave his office.
As I walked toward the door, I knew Quinten’s death had changed everything. Once again my fate had been tossed upon another path and I did not know whether to rejoice or cry.
Ruptured: The Cantati Chronicles Page 7