One of the pieces that stuck with her was that the place was like a small city. It would be easy to get lost in there. A person could live or work there and never run into others who worked on the opposite end of the castle and never have need to leave the royal grounds, unless going out on official business.
The palace courtyard had been the setting for concerts given by the St. Michel National Orchestra, ballets by the national dance company and plays written by a state-sponsored thespian troop.
It was a country of people who loved and revered its royal family, and a royal family who took good care of its loyal citizens.
It was the holy grail for which she’d been searching all her adult life. Wasn’t it? If so, why did she feel so ambivalent…and empty?
Miles’s face flashed in her mind. She could see him with his little nieces hanging off him. He was such a patient man, such a good sport. She wondered what had happened with his father after Lucy had revealed that Miles was the one who had made her see that her father was a hero.
They hadn’t talked since the night he’d told her he loved her. She’d half expected him to show up unexpected to take her to the airport the morning she left. When he hadn’t, the disappointment she’d felt was real and raw.
But she’d told him to stay away. She’d said that even after he’d told her he loved her.
The thought formed a lump of emotion that lodged in her throat, making it hard to swallow, hard to breathe, hard to remember why she’d been so panicked.
It was easier to contemplate when there was an ocean between them, easier to see that maybe, just maybe, the love that he’d offered so freely she had been taking for granted.
He loved her.
How could he love her?
Because he had a huge heart and an endless capacity to feel and forgive. Why could she not learn from him? Then again, could one learn to feel and forgive?
Especially when there was no one in your past left to forgive. Maybe she could start by forgiving her mother for dying and leaving her alone? Her father, whoever he was, for never being there in the first place? Herself, for letting her heart become so hard and weary?
She let each possibility resonate inside her, but it all felt hollow and empty. Exactly how she felt standing there contemplating these esoteric theories.
Maybe she needed professional help?
Or maybe she just needed to take this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity and not look back. A shrink would have her dredge up every past hurt and slight and examine it, wallow in it. What good would that do?
The hard truth was each person was dealt a different set of circumstances at birth. Some were born into better situations than others. Some had to work their backsides off for every break they ever got in life.
Sydney had never had patience for those who whined about their situation. She knew better than anyone that you made the best of what you had and worked hard to get where you wanted to go.
Well, here she was with everything she thought she’d ever wanted right in front of her.
Everything except Miles.
But where was it mandated that you were entitled to everything you wanted? No place she’d ever been.
She turned and headed toward the historic downtown area. It was in the opposite direction from her hotel, but that was okay. She was in the mood to walk.
It had been a while since she’d been to St. Michel. Her trip here last month hardly counted because it had been such a whirlwind. She wanted to soak it all in.
Her back was to the St. Michel Marina, where the rich and famous kept boats. Since property was so difficult to come by, sometimes people purchased boats and lived on them.
Downtown St. Michel was a gorgeous little medieval storybook village. Storefronts with hand-painted signs lined a cobblestone square, with narrow streets jutting into it like spokes on a wheel. She passed a butcher and a baker. The last time they were all there together, Sydney and her friends had joked about how they should open a candle shop next door so that they could be the candlestick makers and play out the age-old nursery rhyme.
Instead, they had opened a catering business.
Her heart twisted at the thought of not seeing her friends on a daily basis, not working with them. That would be one of the most difficult sacrifices she would face.
That, and possibly never seeing Miles again.
She needed to talk to Maya, who was really her closest friend. There would be a natural separation between Sydney and Queen Sophie. Even though Sophie had lived the majority of her life as a commoner and had been raised in the United States, decorum dictated that Sydney keep a respectful distance. The other people she knew in St. Michel were Margeaux and Henri Lejardin. Nurturing that friendship might be awkward since Sydney’s unrequited crush on Henri had sent her packing to Celebration, Texas, when it became clear that Margeaux was the love of his life.
See how affairs of the heart have a way of messing up everything?
At least she had gotten some great friends out of the situation. A.J., Caroline and Pepper had gone to boarding school with Margeaux and had accompanied Margeaux back to St. Michel to make amends with her father before he passed away. Margeaux and Henri had reunited, and since Sydney had worked with Henri handling public relations for the state Department of Arts and Education, she’d had the good fortune of meeting A.J., Caroline and Pepper.
Pepper had even gotten her the job with Texas Star when it became clear that it was time for her to leave St. Michel. Now she counted the three women among her closest friends. And it was obviously mutual—after all, A.J. had even asked her to be her baby’s godmother.
Oh, God! She’d left without giving her an answer.
Maybe A.J. had changed her mind?
The downtown area was bustling. Summertime was prime tourist season in St. Michel. People were drawn to the island for its beaches and the famous yacht race held every August. This year the Royal Anniversary Celebration was compounding the crowds even more.
Sydney had to sidestep a family walking four abreast. The throng was so thick she couldn’t even see the fountain, the centerpiece of the downtown shopping village. When she got to Maya’s shop, there was a line out the door of people waiting to get in.
Well, good for Maya. It was great that business was so strong, Sydney thought as she did her best to shrug off the blue mood that was settling over her like a fine net.
She had always loved being alone and anonymous in a city of any size. It was easy to be alone in a crowd here in St. Michel. She had a sudden pang to talk to someone, anyone she could call a friend. Anyone with whom she could celebrate the coup of landing the press secretary job. Or maybe even just to hear a friendly, familiar voice.
On her way back to the hotel she called her friends. It was three thirty in St. Michel. That meant it was eight thirty in the morning in Celebration. Perfect timing. She could probably catch them before they began taping.
She went alphabetically so not to hurt anyone’s feelings—sheesh, when was the last time she’d worried about hurt feelings? When was the first time, for that matter?
Right now?
The thought made her laugh to herself as she pictured her three girlfriends squabbling over who got the news first.
She got both A.J.’s and Caroline’s voice mailboxes and left brief messages telling them she had news, but she didn’t want to leave it on voice mail. “I’ll call you again soon.”
She dialed Pepper, who picked up on the first ring. “Sydney! Oh, my God, I’m so glad you called. We have a major situation here.”
Sydney’s smile faded.
“Hello, what’s going on?”
“Well, apparently Lenny has some footage of you telling off that jackass Josh after he dumped Lily. Lenny is planning on using the footage and all the other tape we have of Lily leading up to your grand finale.”
“What?” Her heart stopped for a beat and then kicked into a fast staccato. “I had no idea the cameras were rolling.”
“Well, apparently they were,” Pepper said. “I’m sorry to break the news to you like this, hon. That man is a monster. We have been up all night arguing with him. We’re going to go on strike if he chooses to go with that angle.”
“I screwed up in a big way by losing my cool,” she said. “I’m so sorry. Did you talk to Miles about it? He won’t stand for it.”
“Umm, Miles isn’t here. He went back to California the day after you left. I have a call in to him, but he hasn’t called back yet. It’s five thirty in the morning in California. It was the middle of the night when this started unfolding. But don’t you worry. We have your back.”
Sydney blinked at the phone. She had messed up in a big way by yelling at the groom. Her loss of control had put her friends in a bad position. Yet, they were standing by her. This had never happened before. No one had ever had her back when she’d messed up. That’s when people always left. Or sent her packing.
“So Miles left, huh?” It didn’t take him long to move on. He’d been out of there before her plane had even landed in St. Michel. Something empty and hollow cracked open in the space where her heart used to live.
“Yeah, he had some sort of a movie offer and he had to hightail it out of here. I don’t know about that, but there’s more that I need to tell you. I haven’t even told you the worst of it,” Pepper said.
Sydney stopped walking and a woman ran smack into the back of her. The older woman muttered something in French that Sydney didn’t quite catch, but she wasn’t really listening and she didn’t really care. What she cared about was what could be worse than Lenny turning the show into a living nightmare and Miles hightailing it back to California.
“What else, Pepper?”
“A.J. has gone into labor.”
“Oh, no. No! This can’t be happening, she’s two weeks early. She and Shane haven’t even finished Lamaze classes. Please tell me she and the baby are okay.”
“I’m at the hospital now and we’re waiting. Shane’s in there with her. So that’s all good.”
“Well, good. I’m glad to hear that. But, Pepper, tell me the truth. Did all this turmoil with Lenny send her into labor?”
“It’s hard to say, hon. She was fighting with him pretty hard. Then when the contractions started the son of a b wanted the cameras to follow her to the hospital. Right into the delivery room. Can you believe that?”
Yes, she could believe it.
“I just about decked him,” Pepper said. “But you know Shane, he wasn’t about to let him in. So you try not to worry because there’s really nothing you can do all the way over there in St. Michel— Oh, my gosh! I didn’t even ask you about the job. How is everything going? Any news with it?”
“Actually, I got the job.”
Despite everything, Pepper made all the appropriate noises, said all the right things that friends say when they’re genuinely happy for each other.
“All the more reason for you not to worry about things. I will keep you posted. I’m sure everything will be fine with the baby. We have to think positive. Actually, that’s all even I can do right about now.”
“I’ll be there soon to keep you company. I’ll be on the next flight out of here today. I have to come home anyway to pack up everything. You tell A.J. and Shane that their baby’s godmother will be there just as soon as she can.”
Chapter Sixteen
It was the longest plane ride in the history of plane rides. All Sydney could do was close her eyes and try to push aside nightmares of anything bad happening to A.J.’s baby—her godbaby.
She listened to an audiobook on her MP3 player to distract herself, trying not to blame herself for giving Lenny the opportunity to pull a stunt that would send A.J. into labor two weeks early.
Sydney kept an iron grip on her emotions. That was all that she could do. Letting go of her self-control before was what had caused this disaster. If she let her composure slip now, she knew she would fall apart.
Twelve very long hours later, Sydney took a cab from the Dallas/Fort Worth Airport and was standing in A.J.’s room in the maternity ward of Celebration Memorial Hospital.
She had a goddaughter. Somehow, she’d had a feeling A.J. was going to have a girl.
Kelcie Marie Harrison had come into the world weighing five and a half pounds and measuring twenty inches long. Even though she was tiny, she looked perfect and beautiful.
She was the most beautiful baby Sydney had ever set eyes on. Sydney was instantly smitten. It was possibly her first case of love at first sight.
Well, maybe the second case if she counted Miles. But he really shouldn’t count since he was gone. She didn’t want to think about him right now—even though her broken heart begged to differ. Kelcie was what mattered.
The doctors had called her a late preterm baby, meaning that even though she looked fully formed to the uneducated eye, her lungs might need a little bit of time to fully develop and she didn’t have enough fat to keep her warm enough.
Because of that, the little sweetheart would have to spend about a week in the neonatal unit. A.J. walked up to Sydney as she peered at the baby through the neonatal nursery window.
“Isn’t she beautiful?” A.J. mused.
“Only the most gorgeous baby ever to grace the planet,” Sydney said.
“Congratulations on getting the St. Michel job,” A.J. said. “Pepper told us. You know how she is. She can’t keep a secret, and I’m glad she didn’t. Thank you for coming back on such short notice.”
“Are you kidding? I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
Except if I could take back the stupid stunt I pulled when Lenny filmed me lashing out at Josh.
“I wish I could hold her,” A.J. said. “I wish I could take her home with me this afternoon.”
A knot formed in Sydney’s stomach and she felt moisture pooling in her eyes.
“A.J., did the confrontation with Lenny send you into labor? I’ve felt so terribly guilty about it. I had no idea Lenny recorded me. If this is my fault, I just don’t know how I will ever be able to forgive myself.”
“Oh, honey.” A.J. pulled Sydney into a hug and all the tears and emotion that had been bottled up spilled out. “No, the doctor said it was just one of those things. I had been feeling twinges even before we went head-to-head with Captain Exploitation. This was not your fault.”
A.J. reached up and wiped away Sydney’s tears.
“Look at me,” Sydney said. “I’m a mess. You just gave birth and here you are taking care of me. For heaven’s sake. What kind of a godmother will I be for Kelcie? She’ll end up taking care of me.”
A.J. beamed. “Does that mean you’ll do it? You’re saying yes to being her godmother?”
“I said yes a long time ago. I just forgot to tell you.”
The two laughed and hugged again.
Over A.J.’s shoulder, Sydney saw Miles round the corner.
He had never met a woman who made him feel the way that Sydney James made him feel. He didn’t care if he had to make monthly trips across the Atlantic to see her. He’d just make sure he had a good frequent-flyer program.
Pepper had told Aiden the news that Sydney had gotten the job in St. Michel. Aiden, in turn, had shared it with Miles, and he let him know that she was on her way back to be with A.J., Shane and the baby.
He’d wrapped up his business as fast as he could and had gotten on a plane with the hopes of seeing her before she left again, before he lost the love of his life.
He’d already decided he wasn’t going down without a valiant fight.
He greeted her with a hug and paid his respects to baby Kelcie, who was a cute kid for being a preemie. In fact, Miles couldn’t see a thing wrong with her. But apparently the doctors wanted to make sure she was in tip-top shape before sending her out into the world.
He didn’t blame A.J. and Shane for being protective. Hell, he was going to be the same way when he had kids someday.
When Sydney offered to go get the proud new paren
ts some real coffee, and not the dirty dishwater that the nurses’ station was trying to pass off as Joe, Miles followed her out into the hall.
“I’ll help you carry it,” he said.
“Thanks. I need all the help I can get.”
They both laughed at her lame joke.
For the first time in what felt like an eternity, he was alone with her. He hadn’t realized it until now, but his world had been slightly off-kilter since she’d been gone. Actually, since that night that he’d uttered those three words that had sent her running and he hadn’t had the good sense to go after her.
Until now.
He knew that if he had to wait an eternity for her to trust him enough to love him in return, he would wait. Because there was no other woman in the world for him.
“I’m surprised to see you,” she said. “I mean, I’m really happy to see you, but surprised. I heard you got an offer to direct a movie, huh?”
“Yes, it’s another horror film. A big, gory commercial deal. The kind of film I hope my children will never see. Those movies damage your soul.”
She nodded, but wouldn’t look at him. “So, when does filming start?”
“I have no idea.”
She slanted him a questioning look. “Shouldn’t you find out? You’re sort of an important person in the process. You should probably put the key dates on your calendar.”
He loved her dry sense of humor. He loved the way her left eyebrow jutted up when she was making a point. He loved…hell, he loved everything about her. And he loved messing with her, too.
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