by Lacey Black
“Carly said you were on your way,” she says, stepping back to allow me to enter.
“Did she tell you where she was going?” I ask, reaching forward and taking the little girl with the out-reached arms.
“Yeah. She called as soon as she got into her car. I know she has a lot of questions, but they’re not for me to answer. I think it’s best that she hear it from him.”
“What is she going to hear, Georgia?” I know that my question doesn’t have to be answered. Hell, it’s none of my damn business, but I care about Carly immensely and I guess I just want to know what she’s walking into. Plus, the professional side of me needs to know how much involvement Georgia played in his business.
She sighs before sitting down on the couch, laptop on the cushion next to her. “When I met Roman, it was instant love. You know? The kind you only read about. I didn’t think it really existed until I saw him. But I knew. We dated only a short period of time before we married. He was here from Mexico and his younger brother was in the process of moving here on a work visa under Roman. He opened his own shop a few years after we married.”
Georgia appears to stumble on the words she wants to say. Natalia sits on my lap in the chair across from the couch, playing and tugging on my jacket zipper. “I started to suspect that his business dealings were less than legal. Things just weren’t adding up, you know. He was secretive and I always felt like there was more to the story.
“When Carly was about five, he took us on vacation. While we were there, something happened. He wouldn’t explain it to me in great detail, no matter how much I tried to get it out of him. He just said that Carly and I had to disappear. Some bad people were making threats against us, and I could tell by the look in his eyes, that it was bad. To this day, I still don’t know the full extent of those threats. All I know is that between him and his brother, Carly and I were presumed dead in a boating accident and sent back home under new names. I was no longer Georgianna Hernandez. I was Georgia Mathewson, my maiden name. Carly and I mourned the loss of Roman for a very long time,” she tells me with a tear in her eye. I can tell that she loved the man, even if his business was less than legit. Hell, by the way she’s reacting, she might still very well be in love with her husband that she hasn’t seen in more than twenty years.
“Wow. So, Carly believed her father was dead?”
“To protect her, Blake. It was all in the name of protecting my daughter. I never would have forgiven myself if something would have happened to her and I had the chance to stop it.”
“You made the only choice you could have,” I tell her, looking down at my own daughter. I would do everything and anything to protect her. Keeping her safe will forever be my first priority. It’s amazing how your life’s perspectives change in the blink of an eye. “Why now?” I ask, knowing that it is one of my burning questions still remaining unanswered.
Georgia exhales loudly. “Because it was time. Even though I didn’t have facts, I always suspected that her father and uncle were involved in matters pertaining to stolen vehicles. I never questioned him on it, but I always had my suspicions throughout the years. When Carly’s car came up stolen, I knew it was time to come clean. Even if her car had nothing to do with Roman’s other business, I couldn’t keep the truth from her any longer. The truth was haunting me. She was raising my granddaughter without the child’s father and Carly knew first hand how difficult that was on a child. Then you came into the picture. I guess I just felt like it was time she knew he was alive and looking out for her, even if from afar. I don’t want to hurt her, but I don’t want her to not know the truth either. She has you. Natalia has you. I know you will protect them if the need should ever arise again.”
Georgia gathers up Natalia’s bags as we head out the front door. I strap her inside the car seat that Carly had installed into my Camaro before she left this morning. As soon as I have her secured, I turn to Carly’s mom.
“Take care of my daughter, Blake. I’m counting on you to keep her safe now. It might not be from the same threats that haunted us while she was growing up, but that doesn’t mean anything. She needs someone who has her best interests at heart. For her and my granddaughter.” Her words strike right to my heart like a dagger. Can I put Carly above my job? I’m torn between doing the right thing for the job and doing the right thing for a potential future with Carly.
“I’ll do everything I can,” I tell her honestly.
I drive quickly back to Carly’s apartment with Natalia happily cooing and babbling gibberish that I don’t understand in the backseat. As I step off the elevator on the top floor, the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. I feel a presence similar to that feeling I had at my own apartment a little over a week ago. Searching the hallway, I don’t see anything immediately. I make my way towards the apartment door, wishing I had my gun on me. I feel completely vulnerable right now, exposed with no real way of protecting my daughter. The feeling leaves me unsettled.
“So this is my niece,” I hear quietly behind me as I slide the key into the lock. I turn around and come face to face with my smiling brother.
“Yeah, this is her,” I tell him, pissed off that I let my brother get the drop on me. Luke never gets the best of me. “What are you doing here?” I ask quietly, searching the hallway for any other sign of a threat.
“I was out on the street when you left this morning. I decided to hang around and wait for you to come back. Getting into this building was a bitch, but nothing stops me from getting what I want,” he says with that cocky smile.
I throw my head towards the open door, inviting him inside. After scanning the empty floor one last time, I finally enter the apartment and lock the door. “Awfully brave of you to show up here, don’t you think?” I ask, not really liking that Luke was here, potentially compromising the entire operation, and risking Carly and Natalia’s safety.
“I had been watching for a while. If you guys are going to walk around naked after a shower, you really should leave your blinds shut,” he says with a huge wolfish grin. Instantly. Pissed.
I set Natalia down, removing her jacket as she races towards her basket of toys. “Don’t fucking start with me,” I seethe through gritted teeth.
“Chill, dude. You know I couldn’t see anything. I was just messing with you,” he says, throwing his hands in the air as if in surrender. It takes me several moments to calm down from the immediate pissed off feeling I got from the thought of Luke seeing Carly naked.
I turn and watch my daughter chew on a stuffed cow before throwing it as far as she can across the room. All with a cute little smile on her face.
“She does look like Carly,” Luke says, his features softening, the hint of a smile across his lips while he watches her play.
“She’s gorgeous,” I say absently while watching Luke go over and squat in front of her.
“Mom and Dad are going to fall in love with her at first sight,” he says as he offers her another toy. Natalia takes it and throws it across the room, laughing while Luke goes over and retrieves it. I can’t help the huge smile that crosses my face. Luke has no idea the game he’s unknowingly playing with his niece. Of course, I only recently learned of this game of fetch when I was played by the toddler.
“I know,” I tell him, plopping down on the floor beside her while stroking her soft, black hair. “How much longer do you think before I get my life back, Luke?” The ever-present burning question.
“God, I hope it’s soon. I’m ready to have my brother back, man,” he says while grabbing the stuffed animal moments before he watches his niece chuck it back across the room with a laugh. “I think she’s fucking with me,” he says incredulously.
I laugh. “Watch your mouth,” I scold my little brother lightheartedly. Yeah, she’s got his number.
Luke stays and visits for just a short time. I can tell that leaving is hard for him. We haven’t just sat around and bullshitted in forever. Everything is always about the job and at some neutral location. N
ever at my apartment. Never would he have risked compromising this entire job that we’ve been working on for two long years. Hell, longer than two years when you consider how long we’ve dug up information and intel for this operation.
While I’m submerged in this life, I try not to think about what I’m missing back home. I try not to think about those random dinners or having a beer with my brother after work. Shit like that just depresses me. Yet, I always let my mind wander to Carly. She was the only thing that brought me comfort during these last two years. Maybe that’s why I added the wildflowers to my tattoo a little over a year ago. The eagle was a constant reminder of the job I’m doing in bringing down a criminal operation. The wildflowers were a reminder of what could have been. The one thing I had to give up in order to have the other. Couldn’t have them both. I had to choose, and while that choice was the right one, now I’m not so sure I can make it again.
If it comes down to making the same choice, I just don’t think I’d choose the same path.
Natalia. Carly.
The job.
When I’m forced to make the decision–and fuck knows it’s coming–my biggest fear is that I’ll choose the wrong one.
And where will that leave me?
Chapter Nineteen – Only Breakfast
Carly
To say I’m nervous is an understatement. I sat in my car until I couldn’t sit there any longer. With shaky legs, I walk across the street and open the large glass door at the front of the small café that I love. I slip inside, spotting my father at a booth in the back. His gaze catches mine as he watches me approach the table. He stands up, and I can see his discomfort, not really knowing whether to give me a hug or not. I decide to answer his question by sitting down in the empty bench seat across from him.
Dad sits down, taking a sip of his steaming black coffee. “I didn’t know if you wanted coffee,” he says in his thick accent. Each time he speaks, it’s like a piece of my childhood returns to me. I remember the thick accent, the deep timbers of his voice. He might have aged a great deal, but the sound of his voice is the same.
“Coffee, please,” I tell the waitress as she approaches our table.
“Thank you for meeting me,” he says, those dark brown eyes trained on me.
“Yeah, well, I honestly don’t know why I’m here,” I tell him, still teetering that line between upset and curious.
“You have questions. I have answers.”
The waitress returns, delivering my coffee and taking our order. I stick with something light–a fruit salad and bagel–not knowing if my stomach is going to handle anything heavier.
“Ask me anything,” he says quietly after the waitress walks away.
“Why? Why was I led to believe you were dead,” I ask instantly. Though there are so many questions, this is the one that I can’t seem to wrap my mind around.
“It’s very complicated, Carlina, but I’ll do my best to answer you. Your mother and I were happily married when you came along. Your arrival only seemed to deepen the love I had for her. Georgie was my first real love, Carly. You have to know that. You and your mother were the loves of my life. That’s why I had to send you away,” he says, his voice small and his eyes cast downward.
I don’t speak so he continues. “My business is…difficult to explain to you, Carlina. It’s a business I was first introduced to in my homeland of Mexico. For a while, it was the only thing I knew. They sent me to the United States and from there, my business was born. I’m not a good man, Carlina. I do things that I’m not proud of, but you have to know that it doesn’t mean I didn’t love you and your mother.”
“Why then?” I whisper, my heart lodged securely in my throat.
“A former business associate was a little upset when I branched out on my own. He tracked me to Vegas and began to make threats. I didn’t take them seriously until this one particular day. We were on vacation when photos of you and your mother arrived with a note. He was going to kill you both. While I wasn’t scared of him, I was terrified that he would get to you. I increased security those first few days of our vacation, but the photos kept arriving. He was close and I knew he would follow through with his threat. He made it clear that he could get to you both and that I wouldn’t see it coming until it was too late. The only way to make him stop and to focus his anger on me was to send you away.
“It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I watched you and your mother get on that boat knowing that you would never return to me. Mattias had contacts everywhere and he helped doctor documents that indicated you and your mother perished in a sailing accident. But you have to know that I never forgot you. You were never far from my mind. I’ve always watched you from afar, Carlina. Even if I couldn’t be front and center, I was always there. Sometimes through your uncle, but always near.”
His words sink in. Tears that I didn’t even know I was shedding were falling down my cheeks. “I’ve always kept silent tabs on you, mi Tesoro. Graduations. Birthday parties. Ballet recitals. When you had your beautiful daughter, I was there.”
“What happens next?” I ask the man with eyes the same as my own.
“Nothing happens, mi hija. I can’t risk your life or your bambino’s life. You needed to know the story as best as I could tell you, but that’s it. I won’t risk your life again.” His words are like a dagger to the heart. I feel like someone is playing a cruel joke on me. My father is dangled before me and then pulled away again like a toy on a string. Knowing that we’ll never have the relationship I didn’t even know I wanted so desperately, guts me. The tears fall in earnest as the waitress delivers our food. I’m suddenly not even close to being hungry.
“Please don’t cry, mi hija. I will continue to watch over you, but I won’t risk you. You would do the same for your daughter.”
“Yes, I would. But I would also never put her at risk in the first place,” I state matter-of-factly.
“Are you sure about that?” he asks, his dark eyebrows risen into his hairline. He doesn’t elaborate which tells me his question is probably hypothetical. At least, that’s what I tell myself, even as the slight uneasy feeling settles over me.
The rest of breakfast is quiet. Neither of us really knows what to say to each other so we decide to keep it silent. Reaching the end of the meal, I follow my father’s lead and stand up. “Mi hija. My daughter. Please know that I will always love you, even if I can’t be a part of your life. I hope that you’ll remember that every day as you raise mi nieta. Maybe, someday, you’ll even be able to forgive me for the choices I’ve made in my life. Te quiero, Carlina,” he says before placing a soft kiss on my forehead and walking out of the café.
With tears in my eyes and a heart so heavy, it feels like forty-pound weights are dragging it down, I drive back home on autopilot. I’m filled with grief all over again as I lose my father. Again. Knowing that he’s close, but so very far away is the worst pain. I lost him before, and it feels like that old wound is being ripped open. I park my car and quickly make my way up to my apartment.
As soon as I open the door, Blake is there. His arms wrap around me, pulling me deeply into his embrace. While my world shatters around me and I lose my father all over again, Blake’s warmth and compassion keeps me from completely losing it. He’s strong on the outside, sure, but it’s his internal strength that he’s providing that seals the deal for me. I may not have my father, but I have Blake.
Natalia and I both have the man we love.
Chapter Twenty – The Beginning Of
The End
Blake
I didn’t want to leave Carly. She was upset over losing her father a second time, and I can’t blame him. The only thing that brings me an ounce of comfort is knowing that she’s better off in the long run. Not because he pushed her away, even if to protect her, but because something bad is coming. My biggest fear is that they would have reconciled only moments before I rip him away from her like the thief I am. I’m not saying it’s the right way to think,
but at least she won’t be mixed up in this fucking mess before the agency brings the hammer down on the entire organization.
She’d lose him anyway.
I pull into the facility and park next to Styx’s car. No one else appears to be here yet, so I take a few moments to send Luke a text about the meeting before heading inside. The interior of the building is dark except for a light over by the part we call the office. I flop down in one of the chairs while Styx keeps those dark eyes of his trained on me. I don’t know what it is about this man, but he heckles my nerves. There’s something about him that I don’t quite trust.
“Where is everyone?” I ask.
“They’ll be here.” Styx stares at me with those dark eyes. I school my features, keeping it casual and relaxed on the outside. On the inside, I’m registering every twitch of his eye, every movement he makes. I catalog his actions as he watches me from across the seating area.
“What have you heard about this job?” I ask, trying to fish for a little information.
“Not too much. Mattias will be here soon, though, and I’m sure he’ll have the details.” Still, he watches me. “So, what have you been up to lately?” he asks casually, but the gleam in his eyes lets me know there’s more to his question than casual conversation. Instantly, I’m on edge.
“Not too much,” I reply.
“You seem to never be home anymore. I’ve stopped by a few times, but you’re never there.”
Realization slams into me. Styx knows more than he’s letting on. He’s baiting me, waiting for the perfect moment to strike. “Yeah, I’ve been hanging out with some friends.”
“Friends, huh? Didn’t realize you had any friends,” he says. It’s the way he says the word that makes me want to stand up, walk out the door, and go to Carly. Styx knows something, more than he’s saying, and that makes me want to protect her from whatever evil is lurking.