by Lacey Black
“Hey, Mom. I missed you guys,” I say just before I’m enveloped in a fierce hug filled with tears and sobs of joy. Her familiar perfume fills my senses as I hug her back. Warmth and contentment wash through me. My mom can be a little overzealous at times, but she’s still my mom and I love her.
“Son,” my dad says just before shaking my hand. I’d be lying if I said the tears I see in his eyes didn’t affect me. Not tears of joy or sorrow, but tears of pride.
“Hi, Dad.” I clasp his hand and pull him into a big hug.
“Come on,” Mom says after releasing Luke from a death grip. “Dinner is ready.”
Inside the dining room, the table is already set for four. I pull up my usual chair across from Luke as Mom delivers a roast with potatoes to the dinner table. I haven’t had Mom’s cooking in ages. My stomach growls loudly and my mouth waters as she brings a green bean casserole and sweet rolls.
“So, Blake, anything you want to share with the ol’ parents?” Luke says with a smug grin across the table. If looks could kill, my dear little brother would be bleeding to death on my mom’s expensive rug at this exact moment.
My parents both look from him to me expectantly. You could hear a pin drop in the room as everyone waits to hear whatever is going on. Not exactly how I wanted to tell my parents about their granddaughter, but I guess it will do.
“I have news,” I tell them before taking a big gulp of ice water. There’s no easy way to do this. Just rip the band-aid off. “Mom, Dad, you have a granddaughter.” For several seconds, my announcement is accompanied by silence before being quickly followed by laughter.
“Oh, Blake. That’s not a very funny joke,” my mom scoffs as my dad tries to get his fits of delight under control. Luke smiles broadly at me from across the table. Bastard.
“I’m not joking,” I tell them, looking from left to right until they both see the seriousness in my face and hear it in my voice. “I have a daughter. Her name is Natalia, and she’s fifteen months old.”
“You’re serious?” Dad asks, his mouth gaping open.
“As a heart attack,” I confirm as I gulp the rest of my water.
“Why in the world are we just now learning this, Blake Andrew?” my mom asks, the confusion written all over her face.
“I didn’t know it myself until recently. I met a woman, Carly, two years back right before I went undercover. Without getting into any details, I spent one night with her and we agreed to part ways. While I was undercover, I reconnected with her and learned that I have a beautiful little girl. She has the darkest hair, the color of midnight. She has big curls in her hair just like I did when I was younger, and her eyes are the same green as ours,” I say looking at my dad. That’s where Luke and I get our bright green eyes.
“I was a little shocked, to say the least, but I instantly fell in love with her. She’s perfect in every single way,” I tell them, unable to keep the pride out of my voice.
“That’s wonderful, son. I’m sorry we thought you were joking, but it’s not like you’ve ever talked about a girlfriend or anything.” My dad smiles broadly, excitement evident in his sparkling eyes.
Mom takes a drink of her white wine. “I have a granddaughter? Really?” she asks, her eyes twinkling with delight.
“Yes. You’ll love her.”
“We already do,” my dad adds.
“When do we get to meet our granddaughter?” Mom asks with a eloquent look.
“Soon, I promise,” I say, hoping I can keep it. I haven’t talked to Carly since I left her apartment Thursday morning. I’m giving her the space she has requested, but I’m about at the end of my rope. I’m about to run in there, both guns blazing.
“So, her mother. Carly, is it?” my mom asks before diving back into her dinner. Luke grins from across the table, which results in a swift kick from my steel-toed boot straight into his shin. The grunt brings me a little satisfaction.
“Yes, her name is Carly.”
“Tell me, what kind of woman sleeps with a man she doesn’t know?” Mom asks, her tone anything but pleasant. Accusing. Critical.
“Mom, it’s not like that. There was something different about her that first night we met. The only reason I walked away was because I was going undercover the next morning. I couldn’t exactly start a relationship with someone on the outside, could I?” I’m instantly irritated that my mom is judging Carly. She’s the most amazing person I’ve ever met, and I’m not about to let my mother degrade what we shared. “I made the choice. I walked away. Not because I wanted to, but because I had to. If it weren’t for that damn job, I would have woken up that morning, taken her to breakfast, and never let her go. I would have been with her every step of the way through her pregnancy. She would be here right now.” My voice comes off clipped. I’m aggravated at her line of questioning, but mostly because I want nothing more than to have Carly and Natalia here with me at this exact moment.
“Sounds like you love her, son,” my father states very matter-of-factly, the ghost of a smile on his aging face.
“I do.”
“Then where is she?” my mother asks, her tone instantly pissing me off all over again.
“Trying to decide if she wants to see me again. For the past month, I’ve lied to her. It was to protect her and myself, but lies nonetheless. She found out the other day that I was the man responsible for her father’s incarceration. She found out that I’m not the man I said I was. Carly has a lot to process right now, and I just pray that at the end of it, she finds it in her heart to forgive me.” What little dinner is left on my plate turns cold and inedible.
“What does her father have to do with this?” my dad asks, all food at the table completely forgotten.
When I’m finished telling them what I can about the case and how it affects Carly, neither of them speak. Everyone, including Luke, seems to be lost in his or her own thoughts. My cell phone chimes in my pocket, which is a welcome reprieve. I politely excuse myself from the table and step into the living room. When I open the screen, I see a text from the woman I can’t stop thinking about.
Carly: Tomorrow is Halloween. I’m taking Nat to the festival on Broadway if you want to join us. 2pm.
I quickly type as fast as my fingers will allow.
Me: I’ll be there. Tell me where to meet you.
Her response is instantaneous.
Carly: Corner of Broadway and Jackson.
Me: I wouldn’t miss it for the world. Thank you, Carly. See you tomorrow.
This response comes several heartbeats later. For as long as it took her to type it, I was expecting a longer message.
Carly: You’re welcome
I’m suddenly ready to go home–or back to Luke’s place–and get to bed. The sooner I get to bed and sleep, the sooner it’ll be before I see Carly and Natalia again. I’m not sure if she invited me primarily because I’m Nat’s father, or if she invited me because she misses me. I’d like to think it’s a combination of both. But tonight, I’m going to hang on to the fact that she invited me at all. That’s the lifeline she’s dangling in front of me and I’m going to hang onto it with all I have.
Being without her and Natalia isn’t an option.
Chapter Twenty-Seven – A Ghoulishly
Good Time
Carly
I have the cutest little witch that Las Vegas has ever seen. With her pointy black hat that she’s actually keeping on her head at the moment, black dress, and purple and black striped tights, Natalia is sitting proudly in the stroller as we hit the streets to partake in her first Halloween festival. So what if she really has no clue what’s going on? There’s still a hum of excitement in the air. Maybe it has more to do with the fact that I’m walking down the street to meet Blake for the first time in three very long days. Days that transitioned straight into restless and sleepless nights. Nights that mocked my misery by filling my dreams with green eyes and broad shoulders.
Reaching the designated meeting spot, I scan the crowd for Blake
. Costumed children are everywhere with handfuls of cotton candy, caramel apples, and hot apple cider. Vendors are set up as far as the eye can see peddling everything from handmade goods to holiday décor to every food option you can imagine. Games are littered along the blocked streets while kids run from one side to the other. Even half the adults are dressed up, which makes it harder to pick Blake out of the crowd.
I scan the crowd once more, anxiety coursing through my body, when a familiar voice speaks from behind me. “Carly.” Just the sound of my name from his lips is enough to send shivers of delight through my body. Familiarity. Comfort. Love.
Hearing her father’s voice, Natalia flips around, trying with everything she has to see around the stroller and knocking her hat crooked in the process. When she finally catches her first glimpse of Blake, her face lights up in a way that I haven’t seen for days. She has been doing so well lately with sleeping at night. The colic hasn’t been as bad as it was before Blake. In all honesty, I have no idea if Blake is the reason or not, but I’d like to associate him with it. Ever since he stormed into our lives, everything has been different. Everything.
“Hi, baby girl,” Blake says with a matching smile that could be spotted from the space shuttle.
“Da da,” Natalia hollers, reaching upward with gripping fingers and doing everything she can to get free from her seatbelt restraint.
“Have you been a good girl for Mommy?” he asks while squatting in front of the stroller, unbuckling her belt. Before he releases her completely, he looks up, those emerald green eyes finding mine for the first time in three days. The entire world suddenly shifts. Hell, maybe it just finally aligns. My heart rate picks up and my breathing becomes labored. Suddenly, I’m having a hard time remembering why I was so upset with him in the first place.
“Can I?” he asks.
Words seem to evade me as brain function completely goes out the window, so I shake my head in acknowledgement. I watch helplessly as Blake picks Natalia up and places the biggest kiss on her chubby little cheek. Natalia grabs the sides of his scruffy face with wet hands and starts to laugh. The resulting smile from Blake melts every defense I had left. There’s no denying the feelings I have for this man. Hell, I wasn’t denying them before Blake dropped the bomb on me a few days ago. I wasn’t exactly acknowledging them either, but I wasn’t ignoring those feelings. We just weren’t discussing them. Now? Now, I have no clue which way is up and which way is down.
“You are the most beautiful little witch I’ve ever seen,” Blake says before placing another kiss on Natalia’s forehead, dropping her witch’s hat on the seat of her stroller. He runs his large hand up and down her back, hugging her close as if he won’t ever let her go. I’ve longed for so long to have that for my daughter. I want her to have that connection with her father. I want him to worship the ground she walks on. I want him to love her as much as I love her.
And she has that with Blake.
I just have to decide where I fit into this equation.
The realization that I might not fit into the picture the way I want to brings a tsunami of emotions front and center. I have to look down to keep myself from tearing up. I know that Blake said he wanted me, but what if he has changed his mind? What if he has realized that I’m not worth the headache? What if he only wants Natalia and my place will always be just as her mother and nothing more? Blake is everything I’ve ever wanted in a father for Natalia, but that’s not all. He’s all I’ve wanted in a partner, a best friend, and a lover for myself, too. I’ve known it since the moment he drove away three days ago, but I wasn’t ready to completely admit it yet. I needed time to process everything he confessed to me and to really think about his words. I needed to make sure that I was with him for the right reasons as much as I want him with me for the same.
“How have you been?” he asks. He’s going for casual, but I can tell there’s tension in his tone. When I look up, I gasp at the intensity in that green gaze. They’re hypnotizing and enchanting in the most beautiful way.
“G-good,” I stutter. I can’t take my eyes off him. Channing Tatum could streak by me naked right now, and I wouldn’t know it.
Blake takes three steps forward until he’s invading my personal space. Without juggling our daughter, he leans forward until his lips are hovering over my cheek. I let out another audible gasp as my senses are filled with Blake’s unique scent. He smells like soap and leather. I’m about to lean to my side just a little to feel his scruffy cheek against mine when he places those warm lips against my chilled cheek. My entire body ignites into flames as warmth races through my veins. Everything around me fades away as I absorb his scent, his nearness, and the feel of his lips.
“I’ve missed you,” he whispers before he pulls his lips away from my skin.
“Me too,” I mumble, unable to keep the single tear from running down my cheek. With only the slightest adjustment of the little girl he’s carrying, Blake reaches forward and wipes the lone tear away. The feel of his thumb against my skin causes more tears to follow in its wake.
“Please don’t cry, baby,” he says before pulling me into his big, strong embrace. Everything shifts into place like giant puzzle pieces. Everything is right. Perfect.
I could stay right here forever, wrapped in Blake’s arms. I cling to him so tight, I’m afraid I’ve cut off circulation to half of my body. We stand like that for a few seconds–or a few minutes–I don’t really know. When I finally start to pull away, it’s because Natalia has a handful of my hair and she’s trying to ingest it.
“We have a lot to talk about,” Blake states with serious eyes. “But first, we have a festival to enjoy,” he adds with that warm smile that I love. The one I’ve missed more than anything.
I grab the stroller and start to walk next to Blake. He has yet to put Natalia in her seat, and I figure he’s just taking the opportunity to hold her. It has been three long days for her as well, and I feel a tinge of guilt at keeping him from her these past few days. It’s not like he called and wanted to see her and I told him no, but I didn’t reach out to him either and I probably should have.
The first place we stop is to a booth selling homemade fudge and candy. I’ve never told Blake this, but fudge is my all-time favorite treat. I try to avoid it if at all possible, because I’m the type that can’t stop with just one little taste. I want the whole thing, and I’m not going to share it either. Fudge isn’t exactly hips-friendly, so when Blake walks over with Nat and purchases a pound of French silk fudge and a pound of chocolate peanut butter marble fudge, I think I’ve died and gone to heaven. Without saying a word, Blake walks over and drops the little white box of deliciousness onto the seat of the stroller. With a wink of his uber-sexy eye, he turns and walks towards the next booth.
When we reach the booth containing balloon animals, Blake helps Natalia pick out a balloon crown and a balloon monkey. The monkey goes straight to her mouth as the sounds of her little teeth and gums squeaking against the rubber fill the air. Blake attempts to pull the defenseless balloon animal from her mouth, but she won’t have it. The war cry she releases is enough to scare off even the hardest of criminals.
“So, I guess we’ll just let her gnaw on it until she pops it,” Blake says matter-of-factly.
“Just watch her so she doesn’t swallow the plastic,” I tell him.
“I think we just need a new distraction,” Blake says as he walks to the next booth containing a ball toss game. It reminds me of the old Bozo game show I watched reruns of when I was younger.
Blake tosses a few bills at the young girls running the game and positions Natalia in front of the buckets. With precision and expertise, he extracts the balloon from her mouth and hands it to me. Then, I watch as they toss three balls into the buckets. Blake helped Natalia make it to the second to last bucket, earning our daughter a new pink teddy bear. Natalia latches onto it before Blake completely lets go, and it’s in her mouth a second later.
“Like a charm,” Blake says wi
th a broad smile as he joins me on the sidewalk. His smile is genuine and open. He appears stress-free, like he doesn’t have a care in the world. It’s as if he’s finally able to enjoy himself. Even though I’ve caught him looking over his shoulder more than once, I can tell that he’s enjoying himself and the time with our daughter.
An hour later, we’ve covered most of the festival. Natalia is sitting back in her stroller again; alternating between chewing on her new teddy bear and the Teddy Graham cookies I carry in her diaper bag. Blake and I walk side-by-side, drinking cups of warm apple cider. A few times his arm brushed against mine. Those little grazes send heat spiraling downward towards my center. My face flushes warm with each touch. Add in the memories of his hands on my body and I’m basically a walking hot flash.
“I’m going to take her inside and change her diaper,” I tell him as we reach an Internet café on the street corner. We’re at the far end of the festival as traffic moves along the busy street next to the building and festival-goers drive their vehicles around trying to find any available parking spot.
“Okay. I’ll hang out here with the stroller,” Blake says as he moves to the side to stay out of the walkway.
After unbuckling Natalia from the stroller, we step inside and find the restroom in the back of the café. I talk animatedly to my daughter as I change her diaper and make sure she’s cleaned up. She doesn’t even seem to mind having her diaper changed as long as she has her new teddy bear to chew on.
I slip out of the bathroom, chatting with Natalia about taking a nap, when a gentleman stops me in the hallway. “Excuse me, do you have the time? I’m supposed to meet someone here, but I think she’s running late,” he says, his smile seemingly tight and forced. The hairs on the back of my neck stand up as a wave of recognition starts to set in. I know this guy, but where?
“Umm, sure,” I start to say, adjusting Natalia to my other hip so that I can catch a glimpse at my watch. “It’s almost three o’clock,” I add.