by MK Schiller
“Let’s get you naked, lover.”
When there wasn’t a stitch of clothing between us, I touched her. My hands slid down the contour of her body, a body I could never tire of, over her breasts, her round ass, her curvy hips. I walked us backward until I sat on the mattress.
She straddled me, her blue eyes widening as she sank onto me. She hung onto my shoulders moving slowly. I grasped her hips, increasing our rhythm. The sound of her lusty moan was one of the sweetest songs on our soundtrack.
Needing to lead, I picked her up and pivoted us so she was lying on the mattress. “I have to change it up.”
She nodded, closing her eyes, her fingers scratching my back. I reached for the metal bars of my headboard to give me more leverage. I bit into the soft flesh at her shoulders. She pulled my hair, my name a breathy whisper on her lips. I thrust into her, each movement bringing us closer to the abyss. There was nothing more beautiful than the sight of Lilly coming. She shook, her face flushed, her back arched, her fingernails digging into my skin. She was lovely.
I joined her in that place where we didn’t need words. Where our actions spoke vast amounts of dialogue all on their own. Maybe I couldn’t dance, but when I when I was with her like this I had rhythm to spare.
My sated girl flopped her head on my chest, her eyes half-lidded. “Best. Summer. Day. Ever.”
I buried my face against the hollow of her neck. “For me too.”
I’d promised there would be no tears today.
I hated myself for breaking my own rule.
Chapter 14
Lilly
Last night was possibly the best and worst night of my life. James had made it special for us, but my mind wanted to pause time or stretch it out so today would never come. But it did.
Even though I had told him I could take an Uber, James insisted on dropping me at the airport.
“Do you have everything?” he asked, putting my carry-on bag on the bench.
“I think so.”
He gestured to the book sticking out of the side pocket of my bag. “You’re reading the Wizard of Oz?”
“Yeah, I wanted something to read on the plane. Colton recommended this one, but I haven’t had a chance to dive into it yet.”
He nodded, tucking the book securely into the bag. He fished out my little digital camera from his pocket. “I hope you don’t mind. I got up early and made a copy of all the pictures.”
“No, of course not.” I hugged him hard, a gasping sob escaping me despite my best efforts.
He shook his head, frowning. “None of that. This isn’t the end of anything. It’s the beginning of a new journey for you. You’re going to do great things.”
I nodded because the lump in my throat began to grow exponentially. The butterflies all cursed at me, holding up protest signs as they fluttered. “Thank you.”
“I am your biggest die-hard fan, Lilly Franklin. I can’t wait to watch your career take off. If you ever need anything, and I mean anything, I will always have a seat saved for you.”
“Will you be in it, Mr. Seat Stealer?”
He smiled at the sad attempt at humor.
He took me in his arms again and I breathed his scent while he embraced me, lifting me off the ground. He looked down at his watch after he let me go.
“I’ll always be there for you, but you have to go. Your flight’s about to board.” His voice choked on the last few words.
Tell me to stay.
Tell me to stay.
Tell me to stay.
I’m sure I said it aloud, but he didn’t reply. Instead, he shoved his hands in his pocket.
“You’ll do amazing things too. In fact, you already have.” I turned swiftly, taking my rolling luggage with me as the gush of hot, salty tears trailed my face. I’d been strong until this point, but I couldn’t hold back anymore. Thankfully I had a window seat. I leaned against it, hoping the eight-hour flight would go fast.
It was the longest eight hours of my life.
I scrolled though the photos on the camera, my thumb hovering above the display. There were ones of me sleeping that James must have taken. I chuckled at the sight of him and Hayden at the wing-eating contest that was a Tuesday tradition at Blues and BBQ. Then there was us at Roasted and the dance studio. The photos chronicled every magical moment, telling our story one pixel at a time. Toward the end, there was a photo I didn’t remember. James stood on the Pont d’Amour in his running shirt, a knit skullcap over his messy head of hair, the scar on his cheek peeking through his stubble. The pale light of a new day surrounded him, casting a surreal glow around him. He looked like Abercrombie and the MMA had a baby.
The lady next to me, who’d made it her personal mission to disclose her entire life story to me, leaned over to get a look. Her name was Edna. She was going to visit her sister in Paris. She had three cats in a kennel back home. There were lots of other facts I could recite about Edna and her cats, but this wasn’t her story. It was mine…and his.
“Oh my, he’s a handsome one,” she said.
“Yeah, he’s beautiful,” I said, not hiding my pride.
“Boyfriend?”
“Um…no, not anymore.”
She shook her head. “What a shame.”
No kidding, Edna.
“Did you take the video?”
“Video?”
“I may be old, but it’s clear I have a better handle on technology than you. Yes, it’s a video. I have the same camera, and it’s hard to tell with these older ones, but you see the little arrow there?” She pointed to it. He’d left me a video? Her finger hovered above the arrow. I moved it away before she tapped on the icon.
“Excuse me.” I almost jumped over her into the dimly lit aisle of the 747. I wasn’t about to share this moment with anyone, especially a nosy stranger.
I locked myself in the claustrophobic airplane bathroom. I took a deep breath and pushed the play button.
“Hello Lilly,” he said, his lips curving into a slow grin. “You’re probably in Paris by now.”
Guess again, James.
“It took all the strength I had to leave you in that bed while I went for a run. But I needed this distance from you so I could say this with a clear head. A week ago, we kissed on this very bridge. I promised myself I would let you go when the time came. That I wouldn’t stand in your way. That I would support you and not be another burden. But I can’t not tell you this. I’ve shoved the words down my throat, silencing them, but stale words taste worse than sour milk so here it goes.” He took a deep breath, taking off his knit cap in the process. He ran his fingers through his hair. The camera angle became shaky. I wanted to scream at him to stop tormenting me and say it already.
“I love you, Lilly Franklin.”
Oh, fuck me.
I absently wiped my face with the back of my hand. I opened my mouth to respond in kind before I realized it was too late. I’d be speaking to myself.
“I wanted to tell you in person, but I guess I’m a coward. I also didn’t want to cause you any guilt. You don’t have to say it back. It’s probably better you don’t. You’ve shown me in so many ways. My purpose in telling you is simple. I want you to know that no matter where you are in this amazing, shitty, wonderful, fucked up, big-ass world, there is someone in a very tiny town in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan who loves you with all his heart. These last few weeks with you have helped me to remember what it is to have hope again. I will never forget you. You will always be my girl.”
And he would always be my guy.
For the longest time, I’d been content to be on my own, believing I didn’t need anyone as if it somehow made me stronger. Now, I didn’t think I could survive without him.
If someone had told me the first time I’d hear I love you from the boy who owned my heart and soul in the freaking toilet of Delta Flight 1210, I would have smacked him. Dammit, James! I can’t even say it back.
The anger came then in overwhelming waves.
Why didn’t he say this at the airport? Or at his house the night before? Why the fuck hadn’t he fought for me or asked me to stay?
I would have.
I only left the bathroom when someone knocked on the door. Embarrassed by the long line of irritated passengers, I quickly made my way back to my seat.
“Are you all right, dear?” Edna, who hated airplane food, asked me.
“Yes.”
She continued to prattle on about airplane sickness, handing me a bag.
“I’m fine, thanks.” I took out the book I’d brought so I could excuse my silence.
Thankfully, she took the hint.
I meant to read a few pages and then try to doze off.
Despite Edna’s loud snores, I managed to read the whole thing. I got it. I finally understood why Colton called his brother The Tin Man.
Just as I realized why my handsome, humble Marine hadn’t asked me to stay.
Chapter 15
Hutch
A little over a week had passed since Lilly left. Time and distance may have increased the gap between us, but my love for her only continued to grow stronger with each passing day. She texted me on arrival. That was the last I’d heard from her. We’d both agreed we shouldn’t keep in touch. It would make the transition too difficult. I missed her every day. I saw her in all the places we’d gone to—the bridge, Blues and BBQ, at my condo, lying next to me in bed on my crumpled sheets.
Roasted was exceptionally busy today. Gage snagged us a table by the door. I shook off the snowflakes clinging to my coat before I set it on the back of a chair. Depositing my textbook on the table, I frowned at the line.
“I’ll get the coffee,” I offered.
It was as if everyone on campus had decided to get coffee at the same time. Damn, finals. To top it off, someone must have gotten a hold of the soundtrack labeled “Lilly and Hutch.” Every fucking song held a memory of us. I considered covering my ears when Matt Nathanson’s Come On Get Higher mocked me.
By the time I got our coffee, there was no sign of Gage. He was gone and so were his books. In fact, the other chair at the table had been snagged, too.
Even worse, despite my books and coat, someone was sitting in my seat, reading a newspaper.
What kind of asshole plants himself in someone else’s seat? I set down the cardboard cups, but the newspaper remained, blocking my view of the person.
“Excuse me, this is my seat.”
No acknowledgement.
“Hello?”
This time, a page of the newspaper flipped. I caught a whiff of vanilla. It wasn’t coming from the coffee bar. I shook my head and took a deep breath, ready to have words with the seat stealer. I was no mood for this. “Get your ass out of my seat.”
The paper folded. The girl smiled. My heart went still.
“You’re lucky I’m willing to share, Corporal Hutchinson.”
She stood, reducing the space between us.
“What are you doing here, Lilly?”
“Hayden said you’d be here.”
“I mean, why aren’t you in Paris?”
“I was, for a few days.”
I grabbed her arm and led her out the door.
“What are you doing?”
“I’m driving you back to the airport. Maybe you can get your spot back. Tell them you had a lapse in judgment.”
“Stop!” She pulled her hand from mine. “It’s over. I got out of my contract.”
The snow circled around us. I watched as the flakes danced and melted against her skin. I took a deep breath, drawing the energy needed for this conversation. “Why would you do that?”
“I want to be here. Here with you, James.”
“I won’t let you do this.”
The wounded look on her face was enough to kill a man, especially when her lower lip quivered. Don’t make this harder than it is, Lilly.
“I don’t understand. I saw the video on my camera. You said you loved me.”
“I also said I wasn’t going to stop you.” I looked down. The emotions fired at me in successive rounds—hope, hurt and fear. “I will not let you give up your dreams for me.”
“I’m not, James. This is what I want. You are what I want.”
I kicked a fresh pile of snow. The drift flew against the brick façade of Roasted. The move provided no satisfaction, but it did release an avalanche in my heart. I had to make her understand. I had to be as naked with my emotions as I had been with my body.
I flattened my palm against the building, covering her body with my mine. “I don’t want you to ever have regrets. Not now, not a year from now and especially not ten years from now.”
“I won’t.”
“You say that—”
She grabbed a fistful of my shirt and pulled me toward her. Either my balance was off or she really was freakishly strong. Probably both. Her lips met mine. Whatever shred of fight I had evaporated in the aggressive kiss. God, how I’d ached to taste her. I’d spent so many lonely nights clinging to the memories of us.
She backed away, breathless. “Hutch.” She chuckled at my expression. “That’s right. I’m calling you Hutch.” I opened my mouth, but she clapped her hand against it before I could form a word. “Shut up and listen to me. I didn’t come to this decision lightly. I wondered on the flight to Paris why you didn’t ask me to stay with you. Then I read the book, and I got it. I know why Colton calls you the Tin Man.”
“Care to enlighten me?”
“The Tin Man was a good man, a brave man who loved fiercely. He gave up everything he had…sacrificed it away for others. The last thing to go was his heart. I know the things you’ve done for the people you love. And you didn’t fight for me, but that’s just another example of the kind of honest, protective man you are.”
“Baby, I was fighting myself every day.”
“Me, too. But you let me go because you are selfless. You didn’t want to walk between me and my dream.”
“That’s right.”
“But I’m not selfless. I’m selfish. I want you more than anything else. I can dance anywhere, even this small one-coffee-shop town has a dance studio. I don’t care where I dance as long as you’re my partner.”
“I hope you mean that figuratively cause I’m a crappy dancer.”
She chuckled. “In every way. I love you, James Hutchinson.”
“I have nothing to give you.”
“You have your heart. I promise if you give it to me, I’ll take care of it.”
“Sweetheart, it was yours the day you climbed out of that basket.”
I kissed the tear from her cheek before wrapping my arms around her. “How did you get out of your contract?”
“It was clear how miserable I was. Madame M asked me what was wrong. I told her our story, and she cut me loose. As it turns out, she knew my mother. They danced together in New York.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, I didn’t know that myself. I’d always thought Mom’s life was somewhat tragic because of her fall, but Madame put it into perspective. She told me how Mom said the fall was painful, and it made her sad. But it was also one of the best things that happened because she met my dad. You’re right, James. Their story was romantic. I was just too cynical to see past my misery and remember how much they really loved each other. I should have recognized it in us. It’s the same way I love you. Guess what James Hutchinson? I finally found my way home because you are my home.”
I crushed my lips to hers, sweeping her hair away. I picked her up and squeezed her so hard she squealed.
“I love you so much, Lilly. You’re my home too. I’m never gonna let you go again.”
“You better not.”
“Never. You. Are. Mine,” I proclaimed, wanting to scream the simple statement from every building.
“I’m yours, James. Only yours.”
A harsh sneer interrupted us. “Get a room,” someone said, trudging through the snow.
We laughed. We kissed. We got a room,
eventually. But one thing we never did…we never let each other go again.
The End
Excerpt – The Do Over
A contemporary Romance by MK Schiller
Arrogant womanizer, Kyle Manchester hates blind dates but when best friend, Brad calls in a favor, insisting Kyle take out his girlfriend’s sister, Kyle reluctantly agrees. Attorney Lanie Carmichael’s appearance is no surprise. She is dowdy, awkward, and dressed in so many layers she resembles a wedding cake...and not in an edible way. Her brazen attitude though, astonishes him, especially when she explains she has no interest in gorgeous Kyle. Lanie Carmichael is in love with Brad, and wants Kyle’s assistance in winning his best friend’s heart.
Kyle gradually accepts, justifying that the mystery of Lanie has sparked his natural, thirsty curiosity. As an ambitious journalist, he also can’t resist the Pulitzer worthy scoop she offers him. However, as Lanie sheds more layers, both emotionally and physically, Kyle begins to examine his life choices, and his true feelings for this enigmatic girl. With Kyle’s support, Lanie begins to unravel the secrets of her past, and the deep pain that has quietly defined her life. As they each learn more about themselves and each other, both question how a relationship built on fraudulent lies between two broken people could ever survive.
Kyle sat in a booth at Duggan’s waiting impatiently for Lanie Carmichael. The sooner she got here, the sooner this ordeal would be over. Kyle dreaded this meeting-slash-date, but maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. After all, she was a fan, and the evening might consist of her gushing and complimenting him. That would be enjoyable at least, and then he’d head over to the fiery redhead’s place after. Sarah or Suzie or something. He’d hit the jackpot with her. She was a yoga instructor and super flexible. It was too bad he’d have to stop answering her texts soon. She was already looking at him with those “let’s nest” eyes. It was a shame since he’d only slept with her twice. He bet Lanie would look at him with those eyes on first sight.
He winced when he saw the tall, frumpy woman looking around the room. Please, don’t be Lanie Carmichael. A tall blonde in a miniskirt bumped her and headed his way. Thank God! Brad was a true friend, Kyle thought. The blonde returned his smile, but instead of taking a seat, she walked right past him. Kyle followed her path, enjoying the view but also mourning it. He turned back to see Tall Frumpy taking slow, steady steps toward him and smiling idiotically. She was dressed in an ill-fitting beige suit made up of so many layers Kyle wondered if he could even accurately guess her bra size. Probably an A or maybe B. She had on a navy coat in a man’s cut. Underneath the coat, there appeared to be a mock turtleneck, a vest, a blazer, and the most matronly skirt he’d ever seen, all in various shades of beige. Her heels even looked orthopedic if that was possible. She stood in front of him, holding out her hand like a panting puppy wanting to be petted.