by M J Porter
He could feel waves of anger coming from her. Not once did he see her face, only ever her back and eventually he realised he was seeing her from Arrow’s perspective. It was bizarre for Arrow to be behind Sereh. She was always normally in front. He guessed that was a further sign of her anger, at him, that she burst ahead of her trusted friend. That knowledge tore at him, even as he slept.
Eventually night fell and she was forced to stop, again in a cave. Only then did he see her face, and only then, in the semi light of the end of the day. He could have sworn that her face was lined with streaks of tears.
* * *
He woke to a day grown bright and realised that he had slept all night and through much of the morning. He heard a crash and turned his head to see Emma swinging her pot back into place over the fire. With a crushing realisation he remembered everything from the day before and his pain, both emotional and physical returned. He let his anguish consume him for a few moments and then he called both to Emma and to Greeneyes.
They both came at his bidding. No reason to be secretive any more and so Emma and he could talk freely to the giant, shining golden dragon.
The colour of Greeneyes seemed a little off and Erann made a mental note that he needed to ask him about that. However his concern for Sereh was all consuming,
“We have to find her”. No preamble, just his raw thoughts. Emma looked at him unflinchingly and then turned to Greeneyes,
“You can track her, can’t you? Do you know where she is?”
“Yes, I do and I could go and get her, but how is more of a problem. She can not see me, she does not even know I exist and even if she did I have no guarantee that she would come back”. His thoughts were firm and Erann thought, well prepared.
“I could come with you”, Emma said.
“Yes you could but neither does she trust you and even if she did, I can not transport you and her four legged friend on my back, and neither, as we saw yesterday, can we leave Erann alone. You and I were only gone for an afternoon and he has undone much of the healing that had taken place”.
Erann cursed. He knew he had injured himself yesterday in his desperate bid to keep Sereh here. He had simply not comprehended just how much damage he had done to himself. He tuned his thoughts back into the conversation going on around him.
“Perhaps we should just leave her. She is never going to be able to see me, and as such any explanation you give to her Erann, will be treated with disbelief. I know you have feelings for her. I appreciate that. We have bigger things at stake here. You need to get well and I need to get you and Emma to safety, back in my home. Once that has been accomplished we can start the search for Sereh. I can keep an eye on her until then.
Erann could feel his anger increasing as Greeneyes tried to rationalise everything so that they acted as he wanted,
“I realise all that Greeneyes. I do. But I need her back, here with me. I need her and I need her to know what’s going on. She has no one else. She trusted me and I want that trust back.”
Greeneyes looked at him with a look that Erann could interpret as nothing other than compassion.
“I cannot allow you to tell her anything”, he said into Erann’s mind, slowly and simply. “You don’t know everything you need to know. You must be patient”.
Erann wanted to scream, he had so had it with patience. This was his life and he needed to start living it as he wanted to. His father was dead, his mother nearly so and his sister had put herself in a terrible position in an effort to save her family. There was nothing he could do about any of that. Sereh was real and important and immediate. He needed her to feel complete. He was about to launch into it all with Greeneyes, about to let his festering anger burst forth when Greeneyes’ attention flickered from him, to Emma, and registered what Erann could only interpret as concern. Emma had been stood right next to him, actively listening to the conversation. Erann turned. She was not there now. He looked around in confusion. Where had she gone? Then he realised, she had not moved away. She had moved down, and was now lying curled on the floor at Greeneyes feet making soft whimpering noises. He tried to reach her and failed. His injuries were really starting to annoy him now. He understood he was healing quickly, thanks to Emma’s herbs and Sereh pointing it out to him. It was just not fast enough.
Unable to reach her he spoke to Greeneyes,
“What, what’s the matter with her?”
“I don’t know. I can’t get anything that makes any sense from her mind. It’s almost as if its not there any more”
“How can that be? She’s here, right in front of us. We can both see her for Gods’ sake.”
“I know. I am ...confused, let me think”.
Emma had not moved and her soft whimpers had quietly died away. Erann was frantic. In an effort to get nearer to her he shuffled up his makeshift bed. It hurt, just not as much as going sideways. As Greeneyes was still silent, Erann continued his shuffling until, eventually, he ended up close enough to Emma to touch her. She was glacial and her eyes were open and staring at him without comprehension. He said her name. She did not react. He tried gently rocking her. There was still no reaction. He had absolutely no idea of what to do and from Greeneyes continued silence he assumed he didn’t either. He shuffled closer and put one of his many furs on top of her. At least he could keep her warm. There was very little else he could do.
As he lay panting after his efforts he became aware of a faint whisper, repeating over and over again. It was one word, “shield”, or he thought it was. He looked quizzically at Greeneyes only to find him still absorbed in his own thoughts. He spoke out loud,
“Greeneyes”, and then again, “Greeneyes”. There was no response. Eventually he shouted in his mind and Greeneyes glowing eyes focused abruptly on him, almost with an expression of surprise.
“Did you say something”, Greeneyes thought to Erann.
“Yes, she’s speaking. I think she’s saying ‘ shield’ do you know what that means?”
Greeneyes looked questioningly at Erann and his face went blank, an expression that Erann associated with him listening to others thoughts. As Erann watched, comprehension grew on his face and he began to move outside the cave.
“I have to get her back. She’s been outside the shield for too long. All that time she has been with my people, she has not aged and now she is, all in one go. I must get her back. She can’t get on my back. I must carry her”.
With that he reached out a delicate claw and wrapped it around Emma, fur and all. He sort of skipped to the cave’s entrance, holding his fragile load, and then back-winged, launching himself, and flew off from the ground with a crack of his wings before rapidly gaining height. Erann was speechless for the few moments this took. Belatedly he realised he was being left alone, again. Greeneyes, for all his hurry, must have picked up on Erann’s thoughts as a comforting idea of, “I’ll be back soon” stretched into Erann’s head. He felt reassured and then unbelievably angry with himself. He was so bloody useless in his current state.
He kept in contact with Greeneyes thoughts for as long as he could. Eventually they faded and he was left all alone. He had struggled back into his bed in the meantime and lay there feeling useless, not to mention hungry and thirsty. In the rush of everything he had not been fed or watered. It didn’t help that there was a tantalising aroma emanating from the cook pot.
He lay and he thought and he recovered himself. Eventually he could take it no more and found himself willing to try his ungainly shuffle towards the cook pot and the fire. He geared himself for the pain and uncomfortable manoeuvre and then began the slow struggle towards the fire.
His face quickly beaded with sweat and he found himself gasping for breath again. As he looked over his shoulder he was surprised to see that he was making good progress. The pain was strangely subdued and it did make him wonder, briefly, why the journey was so much easier than yesterday when he had tried to reach Sereh. What had changed? He focused exclusively on the smell of food coming from the cook pot
.
He arrived, a panting wreck, strangely exuberant at such a small accomplishment. He levered himself into place close to the fire and felt uncomfortable for a few moments as his face cooled from his actions whilst it was warmed from the heat of the fire. He found a pot of water and gratefully drank it down. He desperately wanted the food from the pot but realised that it was too high for him to reach. Instead, his stomach rumbling, and his mouth salivating, he reached for another pot of water and added some of the healing herbs to it. It tasted unpleasant not steeped in boiling water. He didn’t care. He knew it was healing him and he wanted to be completely healed, now.
He glanced through the cave opening as he lay, spent on the floor. The exhilaration had passed and he felt drained. The sun was going down and he realised that his actions had taken him the entire afternoon and not the brief moments he had thought. He felt deflated and very, very alone. Dejected he felt his eyes close and welcomed the respite of sleep.
* * *
He felt it more than anything. He had been soundly asleep and then he just wasn’t. He searched his mind, wondering if it was the return of Greeneyes that had awoken him. It wasn’t. Greeneyes was still too distant to hear. He hoped he would be back soon and hopefully would bring help. He was hungry and thirsty, in pain and uncomfortable beyond imagining. He had literally slept where he fell and had ended up with his head practically in the fire. That was another thing. He was cold. The fire had burnt so low as to be almost non-existent. He would need to add some wood to it quickly if it was not to die out. Emma had left a pile of wood near to the fire, and he would be able to reach it if he moved slightly.
He wondered what had woken him. Yes, the sun was starting to steal across the sky, alleviating the gloom of night, so he had slept the night away, but it was not that which had woken him. He was sure of that. It had been something else. He could not now remember the feeling, like a dream you forget the minute you wake, although it had been real and liveable only moments ago.
He could see nothing out of the entrance of the cave and there was perfect silence broken only by his breathing. He attempted to haul himself up onto a handy rock and after much effort, succeeded in sitting upright without too much pain. A huge smile lit his face. He was healing fast and he would be able to go after Sereh.
Sereh. That was it. That was what had woken him. An image of her hurt and in pain, lying twisted and mangled down an icy crevasse. She looked terrible and her colouring was so bad that he wondered if she was even alive.
Where had the image come from? Was it true? It terrified him. He could barely sit unaided, how was he to rescue her? His thoughts were a riot that he tried to calm by telling himself that it was just a dream, no matter how real it had felt.
He shivered, remembering how cold he was. Whatever the dreams’ implications, he needed to see to his own cares immediately. He reached for and grabbed a stick and used it to poke the almost dead fire. As the ashes settled a small flame appeared and he quickly fed it small scraps of wood and grasses from Emma’s pile. When he was confident that it would stay alight on its own, he fed it a larger piece of wood. The flames licked hungrily along the length of the wood and he felt warmth on his face.
Now that he was sitting he was surprised by the range of movements he had. He deftly lifted the pot of cold, snow melted water onto its place above the fire and managed to pull the pot of food closer to him. It was well cooked and had begun to congeal. He scooped out a bowlful and hungrily dug into it, aware of how famished he was. The food tasted good and he burnt his tongue in an effort to eat as much as he could as quickly as he could. He refilled his bowl, twice before he felt full and then he looked around him wondering what to do next. Surely it would not be long now until Greeneyes returned? Or until he could at least ‘hear’ him again. He wanted to ask him about Sereh. He was wondering if he would be able to ‘hear’ her thoughts to work out where she was and if she was all right?
He cast his eyes about the small cave and his eyes alighted on the stick he had tried to use yesterday. It gave him an idea. He was feeling stronger today and he was fed up of being incapacitated. He angled himself off the rock and managed to drag his injured leg behind him as he hobbled to the stick using the ragged walls of the cave to support himself. It hurt like Valhalla he couldn’t deny it, however his triumphant at what he was doing won over the pain. He reached the stick and precariously bent down to pick it up. His broken leg screamed in agony and his head started to pound as the blood rushed to it. He just managed to grab the stick and right himself without falling over. He grinned in victory. That was it. He was going to ensure that he was walking, in a fashion, by the time Greeneyes appeared.
The end of the stick was conveniently rounded and he angled it under the arm that corresponded to his broken leg. The stick would then take his weight, instead of his leg. He shuffled forward a little and managed to balance on his good leg and move his broken leg as well. He let out a whoop of excitement.
His shout of exhilaration masked the scampering noise of an animal entering the cave and he completely lost his balance when he caught sight of Arrow stood in front of him. He crumpled to the floor with a cry of unimaginable pain and Arrow rushed to him, to breathe her warm and musty smelling breath all over him. Through the haze of pain he looked around frantically for Sereh. Surely if Arrow was here then so was she. It meant she’d come back, she’d forgiven him. But he could not see her and concentrated on righting himself and stretching out his undamaged leg which had taken the brunt of the fall. His breathing was as ragged as Arrow’s and he could not speak to the wolf or shout Sereh’s name for help for some time. In the interval Arrow stood up and walked to the fire. She began greedily licking the remains of Erann’s meal and he noticed that in the mere two days since he had last seen her, she had lost weight and her fur was matted and filthy.
He sorted his legs and his stick out and slowly regained his feet. Arrow was still by the fire and so he hobbled his way back to it, painfully but resolutely. He had hurt himself badly when he had fallen and his leg, and now his stick arm, hurt afresh with every step. Arrow looked on patiently, her hunger temporarily forgotten as she watched his measured movements. He reached his previous rock perch and sank down gracelessly. Arrow was eyeing the cook pot and chuckling to himself, he swung the pot his way and refilled the bowl. Her mouth was watering and Erann warned her that it was hot before placing it on the floor in front of her.
Like him before, the heat was not a deterrent and she gratefully wolfed down the food and then looked at him questioningly. He chuckled again, refilled the pot, and returned it to her. Again, the food lasted bare moments.
When she had finished she came and put her head in his lap and looked at him with sorrowful eyes. His hand caressed her ears and he said,
“What is it girl? Where’s Sereh?”
Her continued absence was worrying him. He was beginning to fear that his vision of her, which had woken him, was true. What other reason could there be for Arrow to have left her? He didn’t expect a reply and neither did he receive one, as such. Arrow simply grabbed his arm, gently, with her mouth and tried to tug him away. His heart sank. Arrow was here for help. Sereh was in trouble and for all his successes with his stick, he could not venture far outside the cave. He felt despair grip him. Arrow’s tugging became more incessant and he reached his other arm forward to pat her on the head. She angrily shook his hand off.
“I know girl. I know”, he said, “But I can’t do anything. I can’t leave. I’m still injured. We need to wait for Greeneyes, he’ll know what to do. Emma’s not here. She’s ill. Greeneyes has taken her away, back to her home.”
Erann was wondering at himself. Why was he explaining all this to the wolf? She wouldn’t understand and yet somehow she seemed to. She let go of his arm and sank back on her haunches, looking at him intelligently. He frantically cast about with his mind to see if he could ‘hear’ Greeneyes. He couldn’t. Surely he couldn’t be gone much longer. He hoped Emma wa
s alright, that she’d made it back okay. What was it that she had kept whispering? That was it, ‘shield’. At the time he had not been paying much attention to her words, more concerned with trying to help her. Now he wondered. Greeneyes had understood what she had meant. With certainty, realisation sank in. Shield. It must mean the opaque purple wall he had encountered. Sereh had not been able to see it, but he had. Now he wondered and a thought filled his mind, the only problem being that he needed Sereh to implement it.
He was so caught up in his thoughts that it took him some time to realise that there was another presence in his mind, calling to him frantically. Greeneyes. Erann concentrated on the faint messages he was getting. Greeneyes must still be far away. He was practically shouting his thoughts to make himself heard. Erann reached with his own mind to answer and a sense of relief flooded through him from Greeneyes. He received some complicated images which he interpreted as meaning that Emma was now safe and well. The images wavered slightly and Erann interpreted them as fatigue from his friend. He wanted to tell him to rest, to go home and rest. After all, he himself was well. He couldn’t make the thoughts though. He had Sereh to consider.
He thought as clearly and loudly as he could of what he wanted Greeneyes to do and received a confirmation from Greeneyes. Everything then went very quiet, as he assumed, Greeneyes sought Sereh out. He became aware of his uncomfortable physical surroundings in the cave, and the piece of rock which was placed just right to stick into his back, whilst at the same time being able to ‘see’ what Greeneyes could. It was exceedingly disconcerting as he flew whilst staying completely still.
Arrow came back to his side and laid her head back in his lap as if she realised what was happening. He absent-mindedly stroked behind her ears and she let out a small growl of contentment. Then Greeneyes did something Erann had not expected. He connected with what Erann could only imagine was Arrow’s mind as well. Erann suddenly saw the journey she and Sereh had made together in flashes, quick flashes, like his dream during the night. Arrow’s contentment changed to a whine but she stayed still. And Erann redoubled his efforts to stroke her and keep her complacent.