He sat back a bit, gripping my face in his hands. My cheek throbbed, but I barely noticed. The adrenaline coursing through my veins made me almost impervious to the pain. The only thing keeping me from hate stomping him into the hardwood floor was the fact that I didn’t know where Logan was. I thought of my baby’s innocent blue eyes looking up into Draven’s cold reptilian ones, and that image empowered me to keep myself in check.
“I didn’t believe you’d really leave me. Certainly not over someone as meaningless as Elaine. I figured you’d run off to Dan’s and cool down and be back after a month or so. Then we’d get things back to the way they were. Then the divorce papers arrived and just like that you were gone. Elaine was pregnant-another thing I think she planned-and I was so busy trying to keep the restaurant from tanking and worrying about how to explain the Elaine situation to my family that I lost track of what I should have been focusing on. You.
Then Elaine started in about getting a different house. She said we needed a yard for Marco, but I think she couldn’t stand the thought that you and I had lived there together. While I was listing our house, I started hearing chatter about your food truck and knew you’d succeed. I realized you were moving on...starting a new life without me. It was unthinkable.
So I came to see you. I had no choice. I missed you too much. I couldn’t even look at Elaine much less touch her. My fucking family had pressured me into marrying her and you...you wouldn’t even talk to me. So I lost it. I can see that now. I understand why you were scared. But it’s because I loved you too fucking much to let you just walk away.”
He brushed my hair out of my face and kissed my forehead as if we’d had a tiny lover’s quarrel and he was trying to make up. Then he pressed on.
“When your letter was read aloud at the hearing, I wanted nothing more than to wrap my hands around that pretty throat of yours and squeeze the life out of you. At that point I’d given up on you. I told myself you were just an ungrateful hick that I’d crafted into a lady. And to repay me you’d betrayed me in the basest of ways.
First, by taking that Neanderthal into your bed when you still belonged to me. Then, by writing that damn letter, which was the final nail in my coffin. With that letter, Elaine’s lawyer was able to paint me as a horrible monster. Some foul creature that should never be allowed to see his son again. Sure, my council told me he could eventually get the decision reversed. But by then I knew it would be too late. Elaine is a manipulative little cow and she’d poison Marco against me. He would never want to know me and the person I blamed for that was you. So I decided I would show you what that kind of pain felt like.
It took a lot of planning. I had a parole officer and I had to slip away from Johnny Law. Turns out the police really aren’t that hard to fool. But I’d learned my lesson. I studied surveillance, learned the best ways to avoid being recorded. Fool me once and all that.” He gave a wan smile at the mention of Francis’ recording of his tirade that landed him in prison. As he spoke, he dabbed what felt like peroxide on my lip, followed by some ointment. He’d invested in a first aid kit before his psychotic attack, which showed a level of forethought that was just so very Draven.
“When everything was in place I started watching you. Learning your habits. Tracking your movements. There were a few close calls, like the laser tag incident, but that was so worth it. Watching you in your quaint little house with your perfect little nuclear family, I understood the best way to make you suffer.”
He leaned down and forced me to meet his eyes. “Your children. It was so simple, really. I don’t know why I didn’t see it immediately. Marco being taken from me was the worst pain I’d ever felt. And the rage you inspired in me was almost too much to contain. One day you looked so contented that I almost ran you and your stroller down in the road. I would never have gotten away with that, of course...so I changed my mind.”
The memory of the dark car nearly mowing us down came to my mind as he spoke. I recalled that day with perfect clarity. At the time, I’d chalked it up to bad Texan drivers. Just when I thought this freak show couldn’t get any worse, he’d pulled another rabbit out of his hat of horrors.
“But I’m so glad I didn’t. Do you know why?” He asked, running his hand up and down my back as if he was giving me a pep talk. I didn’t bother to respond. He was orating, and one never interrupted Mr. Cirone when he was on a roll. This was never meant to be a dialogue. “Because I know deep down you still love me. That day I saw you crossing the street with the stroller it wasn’t just the fear of being caught that stopped me. I saw you that day and I remembered. How much I loved you back before things got twisted. Before we got married and you started treating me like the enemy. I remembered the phenomenal sex and the way you used to laugh at my jokes. Because I watched you living that with him. And it broke me to see you smile like that at someone else.”
He seemed pensive for a moment, and I wondered if he was finally going to shut up and kill me already.
“I’ve been so torn. Last night, I finally understood why you left me. You really believed I chose Elaine over you. A meaningless distraction like Elaine. An amusement like her should never have come between us. And she wouldn’t have if you hadn’t overreacted. She listened to me when you wouldn’t anymore. She seemed to understand me when you didn’t. I see now that it was all part of her plan to try and trap me. But once she had me, the fickle bitch showed her true colors.
What really pains me is that I thought you understood me better. I assumed you got it, so I failed to communicate how important you are to me. Last night, I decided that we are going to have our second chance. I still can’t trust you yet, not until you earn it. You have done far too much to hurt me since we’ve been apart and I would be foolish to open my heart back up to you.
But, if you can show me that you truly want to be with me, that we are starting off with a clean slate...if you can show me how much you really love me then everything will be fine. We’ll be fine, our son will be fine. If not...”
He trailed off, as if he didn’t want to discuss the unpleasantness of having to kill me and toss me in a ditch somewhere when I was inevitably unable to wipe the memory of his atrocities from my mind. It didn’t matter. He had my attention. I clung to his comment about “our son”, and sighed with relief.
“So tell me, Doll. Are you willing to try again?”
I looked into the face of this cowardly, broken boy I had once loved and realized what a colossal fuck up I really was. I’d done all the wrong things for all the right reasons, and I was partially to blame for the events that had unfolded. We’d both messed up from the get go, and we should have annulled things in Vegas that very same night it happened. So many people had been caught up in the tornado that was “us”, and now my son was swept up in it too.
Logan.
I had to keep him safe. No matter what it cost me. I would do whatever it took to get my baby back to his father and away from this damaged psychopath even if it killed me. But Draven had gravely underestimated me. I wasn’t the scared little girl that he had terrorized in that far away city. And I wasn’t the unsure woman who had hidden behind Joe’s door from his wrath.
No.
I was a mother now. There was nothing that I wouldn’t do to keep my baby safe. And the moment an opportunity presented itself, Draven Cirone was going to learn how mistaken he’d been to ever threaten my child.
Letting none of my inner turmoil show on my face I looked him in the eye, and my stare never wavered.
“Yes, Drae. I’ll try.”
He looked as if he was about to burst into happy tears. He tilted my head back and kissed me softly on the acceptable, unsullied side of my mouth.
MY HEART THUNDERED in my chest as I raced across the dewy grass. I pushed my legs as fast as they would go, but my dress shoes kept slipping out from under me. I’d already fallen twice, and a piercing pain in my side was getting harder and harder to ignore.
It was early morning and foggy as hell. I
was dodging trees at Pecan Grove, and I could hear Molly laughing. But every time I got close to the sound, I couldn’t find her. Finally, I made it to the creek and caught sight of her. She was standing on the edge of the rocky bank. Unlike me, she wasn’t dressed in her wedding clothes. Instead, she wore the white sundress she’d been wearing on her birthday so long ago...the first night she’d let me take her home.
I knew right then I was dreaming...but I didn’t care. She looked over her shoulder at me and her sweet smile owned my heart instantly.
“Come on, baby.” She playfully called. “Where’s your sense of adventure?”
And then she dove in.
Knowing how shallow that creek was, I shouted her name and bolted to the spot she’d just been standing on. I looked over the side, sure I’d see her broken body sprawled on the rocks below. Instead, I saw her wading in the creek with Logan in her arms. Her white dress clung to her shapely body, and her ivory back was to me. She hummed one of her lullabies and stroked his dark hair. Logan caught sight of me and his chubby cheeks split in his adorable, toothless grin.
Movement caught my eye and I turned to my right. Jessica stood beside me, dressed all in yellow. Her golden hair fell around her, reminding me why I’d called her Sunshine. She regarded me with sympathetic eyes, and put a gentle hand on my shoulder.
“It’s not your fault.” She murmured.
I woke with a start and scrambled off of the couch as if it were on fire. Completely disoriented, I blinked at my living room as if I’d never seen it before. Granny Hildebrandt sat in a nearby chair. She paused in her knitting to watch me warily.
“You alright?” She drawled.
No. Not in the slightest.
I rubbed my eyes and took several deep breaths in an attempt to steady myself and oxygenate my muddled mind. It was incomprehensible that I’d fallen asleep as my world was collapsing. Not that I should have been surprised. I’d been awake for over thirty six hours, and my body had finally rebelled and shut down.
After the police first showed up, I’d wandered from room to room, waiting for some new clue to jump out at me. In truth, I needed to keep moving. I wanted nothing more than to tear off and go searching for Molly. Mac had done just that. He’d rallied his biker buddies and they all tore off across the countryside looking for Draven.
The cops had been crawling all over our place at first. After taking my statement they had confirmed that Draven had been out on parole for over six months. Their people had gone through the house with a fine tooth comb. I pointed out a crushed cigarette in the bathroom sink, and the cops had bagged it as evidence and said they would test it for DNA. Great for a hypothetical trial, but it struck me as a waste of time. We already knew who had them.
I had spent most of the time just trying to keep my temper. Cops kept asking me the same asinine questions over and over again as if I would suddenly have some revelation. They needed to act instead of wasting precious time while my wife and child were in the clutches of a madman. I knew it was standard for them to question the spouse, but it was more about covering their ass than doing their jobs. When I told the last one to get out of my face and go find my wife they finally left me alone.
Tamryn ran interference for me, relieved at intervals by mom and Robin. When Molly’s ringtone started up, everyone in the room exchanged frantic glances and I hurried to retrieve it from the table. I picked it up and saw on the screen that it was Dan calling. I felt as if the energy was sapped from me and hit ignore. It began to ring again almost immediately, and when I saw it was him redialing, I handed the phone to Robin.
“I can’t do this right now.” I stated, and she hurried out the back door as she answered his call.
My chest hurt. I wonder absently if I was having a heart attack, or if it was finally just irreparably broken. The sickening similarity of Molly and Logan’s abduction and the threat of losing Jess and Jack ate at me. I wouldn’t lose them. I couldn’t. I had to do something.
Unfortunately, I hadn’t a clue what the hell I could do besides trust the police. So I waited. I paced. I watched the unfolding speculation disguised as reporting on the local news.
When I started to have trouble keeping my eyes open, Tamryn appeared and asked for Eva. I’d been holding her as much as possible. I’d noticed Eva had taken to crying jags and sucking her thumb. Having never seen her do either before, I wondered if this new behavior had begun during our honeymoon. Maybe Molly had been right after all. Maybe they were too little to be away from us.
Or maybe Eva sensed something...like Mac and Mason, maybe she had some connection with Logan that was beyond my understanding. I shook my head to clear it. Thoughts like that would drive me crazy.
Tamryn surveyed my face in her usual strategic yet sympathetic manner. “JoJo...go lay down and take a nap. I’ll get Eva some solid food.”
I shook my head. “I can’t.”
I knew I’d smell Molly scent all over the pillows and I’d never sleep. If I somehow managed to drift off, I’d have nightmares. I was clinging to the last scraps of my sanity and sleeping would be counterproductive. There was no way I could rest in our bed without her.
Tamryn seemed to read my thoughts which was no surprise. She’d ridden shotgun the last time we’d been down this road. “Just go lie on the couch for a few minutes. I’ve got Eva.”
She put her hand on my shoulder, her eyes begging me not to argue. I hated seeing her so stressed. Deja vu permeated the kitchen and I didn’t think I could stand another well-meaning cliché from anyone, so I nodded. In my delirium, I bumped into the doorframe on my way out to the couch. I reclined back, telling myself I was just going to rest my aching eyes.
Now I’d awoken having dreamed about them anyway. It was dark outside. I had no idea what day it was, or if it was morning or evening. I bolted past Granny into Eva’s room and gaped at the sight of Stacy rocking her in the glider.
Molly’s glider.
My thoughts were already scattered and the foreign sight of Stacy in Molly’s spot further jarred me out of alignment. I hadn’t seen her since the wedding, yet here she was in Eva’s room. Eva was clutching Logan’s favorite bear. I remembered Logan tossing it on the floor multiple times before kicking me in the head the night before the wedding. The clarity of the memory slayed me.
Stacy had come into my fucking house and was holding my kid. I’d slept right through her walking through the front door. Some father I was.
“When did you get here?” I blurted.
Instinctually, I crossed to Eva and lifted her out of Stacy’s grasp. Eva startled, and let out several staccato breaths as she settled back against my chest. I saw my hand shaking when I reached for her, and realized how vulnerable the two of us were. No matter what the outcome, I had to keep it together for my baby girl. I no longer had the option of breaking down.
Stacy burst into tears. “I’m sorry, Joe. We tried to stay out of the way but I needed to come. I had to hold Eva. I just had to. I’m sorry. I’ll get Sanchez and we’ll go.”
I stood slack jawed, holding my sleeping daughter and watching one of my wife’s closest friends totally break down. I had no words of comfort for her. What was there for me to say?
It was the first time in the midst of this torment that I really understood that those around me were suffering too. I’d apathetically watched Mac break down and punch a dent into his truck the day before. It was after the first day of his biker search turned up nothing. Mason managed to stop him from hurting his hand or further damaging his truck, but I was too wrapped up in my own pain for any of the drama to seem relevant.
Granny hadn’t left the house. She claimed to have stayed for Eva, but I think she just wanted to be close to Molly and being at our house was the next best thing. She changed and rocked Eva when needed, but she spent most of her time in the kitchen arranging and rearranging the pantry and freezer as the casseroles kept rolling in.
Stacy explained that Tamryn had only left long enough to make arrangem
ents for the girls and pack a bag. I knew this was coming. I was pretty sure I couldn’t get rid of her if I tried.
Seeing Stacy break down crystalized what I needed to do in my mind. When I’d lost Jessica and Jack, I couldn’t save them. I wasn’t going to let that happen with Molly. I would get her back. I would get them both back. And the first step in doing that was taking the help that was right in front of me.
I handed Eva back to her, and though Stacy seemed startled at first she quickly cuddled my little girl into her embrace. Starting to glide slowly back and forth again she gave me a reassuring look. I gave a short nod and glanced out the window. The security detail was still out front. When I looked out the back window, I saw Sanchez and Mac, who were both puffing on cigarettes. In all the time that I had known him, I had never seen Sanchez smoke.
Taking a deep breath, I walked out to the kitchen to get some coffee. As I picked up the pot, I heard my father’s voice echo in from the makeshift center of operations at our dining room table. He sounded upset.
“Mr. Jensen...” I heard one of the agents reply in a conciliatory tone.
“Cut the bullshit and give it to me straight.” My father snapped. There was a long pause, and I picked up my mug and took a long sip of piping hot coffee.
“It’s been forty-eight hours.” The other agent offered, and his no-nonsense tone set my teeth on edge. “No phone call. No luck on the APB. No lead. The odds of finding either one of them alive just dropped by 50%.”
“You have a lead.” Dad’s voice was glacial.
“I meant an actionable lead, sir.” The snark in the agent’s voice made my jaw tense.
“What the fuck is that supposed to mean? We know who took them.” I’d never heard my father drop the f bomb, so when he did, I nearly spilled coffee on myself.
“There’s been no demand for ransom, and the neighbor said the girl willingly left with him. She claims Mrs. Jensen was the one driving the car.”
“Frank...” The other agent seemed to be trying to shut Mr. No-Nonsense up.
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