by Jenna Mindel
She tipped her head. “So how do you make the syrup?”
Andy chuckled. “I’ll give you our educational tour.”
Annie finally relaxed, glad that she’d come.
* * *
“Here, put these on a plate would you?” His mom handed him a plastic container of cut-up veggies. “And wash your hands.”
Matthew grabbed a plate from the cupboard and then washed his hands as told. Dumping the veggies on the plate, he snatched a radish. “Do you have any dip?”
“In the fridge.” His mom elbowed him out of the way. “I could have done that. Arrange them a little, see?”
“No one’s going to care.” He grabbed a celery stick.
“When is Annie due?” His mom fiddled with the veggies and didn’t look at him.
“How’d you know?” Matthew didn’t think Annie’s baby bump showed under the billowy shirt she wore over a pair of long shorts.
His mom looked up. “I’ve had enough kids of my own to tell.” Then her gaze narrowed in on him. “Your doing?”
“What!” Matthew inhaled a bit of radish and coughed.
“You’ve known each other a long time. Sometimes things happen when grief’s involved.” Her voice dipped low and soft.
He knew that tone. The many times he’d gotten in trouble as a kid, she’d use that tone trying to sound understanding before taking a switch to his backside. “No, Mom. No.”
He ran a hand through his hair. “There’s nothing to repent over, okay? Annie’s due around the middle of November, and Jack will never know his own son.”
His mom’s shoulders relaxed and she counted on her fingers. Her eyebrows rose. “She’s hardly showing at all for four and half months along.”
He shrugged. “I don’t know about that, but we went for the ultrasound yesterday.”
His mom’s head popped up from her task of arranging cut vegetables. “We? You went, too?”
He grabbed another celery stick and bit into it with a snap. “Yeah. And it was pretty amazing...” He stopped talking at the look of awe on his mother’s face. “What?”
She smiled. Big and wide. “You’re in love with her, aren’t you?”
Love. Warmth spread through him at hearing the word spoken aloud. He’d never admitted his feelings to anyone. Wasn’t sure he should even now.
Then his mom’s face fell into a thoughtful expression.
“Now what?”
“Oh, Matty, she’s dealing with a lot of emotions right now. Between her hormones and grief, Annie’s a walking bundle of vulnerability.”
Not to mention fears about losing her baby. But those had eased after the ultrasound. It wasn’t his place to share that information with his mom, but he’d hoped Annie might, in time. “So what are you saying?”
His mom wiped her hands with a towel and stepped close to him, gripping his forearms. “You can’t tell her how you feel. Not yet. It’s too soon. You don’t want to push her into something she’s not ready for. Nor do you want to scare her away. You’ve got to be sure. You both do.”
Not exactly a news flash, but not what he wanted to hear, either. He searched his mom’s eyes, hoping she’d say something else. She didn’t.
That next step had to wait. He had to wait. Annie worried too much about the rumor mill in Maple Springs. And he worried about Annie. Meeting outside of town for dates was crazy, but he’d agreed because it helped her relax. She claimed to have lost clients because of their relationship, so he’d gone along.
Maybe Annie’s feelings weren’t as strong as his. Their runaway dates were proof that she wasn’t ready to face what they’d become. What they could be.
“I’m sorry, honey.” His mom patted his hand and then looked up when the sliding door opened.
“The grill’s ready,” Darren said. “Hey, Matthew.”
His mom grabbed a tray of hamburger patties, hot dogs and bratwurst and shoved it into his hands. “Go help your brother. The girls just pulled in and they can help me in here.”
Matthew nodded.
His mother’s advice settled in his gut like a lead anchor. How was he supposed to sink his feelings and not let them show?
“You look worried.” Darren took the tray from him.
Matthew shrugged. “I’m fine.”
“Right.”
“Why don’t you stick with grilling.” Matthew spotted Annie walking toward them with his dad.
She carried a half-gallon bottle of maple syrup and laughed at his parents’ cat that followed. Tigger attacked the back of Annie’s flip-flops then rolled in the grass only to repeat an attack after she’d gotten ahead of him.
He caught up with her and reached for the jug, caressing her arm before covering her hand with his. “I’ll put this in the house till we leave.”
She smiled up at him but didn’t let go. “I’ll do it. I want to see if your mom needs help.”
Matthew searched her face for what, he wasn’t sure. But he was suddenly afraid of letting her out of his sight. “Okay.”
He watched her enter the house and felt the cat twine around his ankles. He leaned down and scratched behind his ears. “What do you want, Mr. Tiggs?”
His dad slapped his back. “Help me set up the horseshoe pit.”
Matthew followed. His father hadn’t made a request.
When they were halfway across the yard, his father finally spoke. “Your mom thinks you’re serious about this woman.”
“I am.” No use denying it. Matthew braced for whatever might come next.
His father might be a quiet man. A reverent man who’d punished them for throwing slices of bread at the dinner table when they were kids, but his words carried a ton of weight. “You think you can handle living with the shadow of her first husband?”
Matthew cocked his head. “I think so.”
“Memories of Jack will always be part of your lives together.”
“I don’t expect her to forget him.” He wouldn’t, either.
“That’s good. She won’t stop loving him, and you can’t expect her to.”
“I loved him, too, Dad.” Matthew glanced at his father. “Mom thinks it’s too soon.”
His dad only shrugged. “Maybe it is.”
“Maybe it’s not,” Matthew finished.
“What’s your hurry?”
Matthew blew out his breath. Watching Annie walk into her house all alone at night was part of it. He wanted to give her security and the assurance that she wasn’t alone. That he’d be there to help raise her boy. He wanted the freedom to love her. “I don’t know.”
His father folded his arms. “You’re smart enough to make good decisions, but it’s wise to pray for direction. Just don’t forget to listen for the answer.”
Right. “Thanks, Dad.”
“I mean it.”
“I know. You’re right.”
As Matthew added more sand to the horseshoe pits, he heard the words Jack prayed at the start of each morning shift. Matthew wanted that same quiet assurance that came from knowing what lay ahead and being prepared for it. Maybe he and Annie needed more time to know where to go from here. And God was the only one who could truly guide their steps.
He only hoped he had ears enough to hear.
* * *
“Can I help?” Annie entered the sunny kitchen that opened up into a family room. The views were lovely. The massive backyard ended with a small sandy beach at the edge of the lake.
“Annie, these are two of my daughters, Monica and Erin.”
Both young women were tall and beautiful and munching on chocolate chip cookies from a plastic-wrapped plate that had been broken into.
“Want one?” Monica lifted the plate.
“No.” Annie smiled. “But thank
you.”
Monica shrugged her shoulders and looked away.
Annie’s stomach dropped. Great. She’d insulted her by not taking one.
Matthew’s mom stepped forward and draped her arm around Annie’s shoulders. “The girls have everything under control here. Come, I’ll give you a tour and show you where the bathrooms are.”
“Oh. Okay. Thanks.” Annie would have asked, but Matthew’s mom seemed excited to show her so she followed her from room to room. A big house, it took a while.
“Have you lived here long?” Annie finally asked.
Helen Zelinsky laughed. “Nearly my whole life. Andy and I were both born and raised in Maple Springs. We bought this place right after we married. I traveled some when he was stationed overseas, even after I had Zachary and Darren. But once Cameron was born, I came back here. I wanted a home base for my children. Something constant that wouldn’t ever change. We’ve added on over the years, but it’s still the same house. The same land.”
Annie couldn’t imagine raising that many little people into productive adults. One baby scared her enough and Helen had managed ten, probably by herself a lot of the time. “Was your husband gone a lot, then?”
Helen nodded. “Yes. But then he’d come home on leave or I’d pack up the kids and go to him for a while. We managed.”
Annie bit back a question.
Helen saw right through that and stopped to face her. “What’s on your mind?”
“Were you ever afraid?”
Helen laughed again. “Of course, that’s part of being a mom. I pray for my kids every day and always have, but I flew by the seat of my pants a lot of times, too.”
Annie nodded. Would prayer be enough to raise Jack’s son into the man he should be?
Matthew’s mom draped her arm around Annie’s shoulder again for a quick squeeze. “You’ll do fine, Annie.”
She knew.
Annie opened her mouth to ask how, but nothing came out.
“Matthew didn’t tell me. I guessed. I can tell.”
“With ten of your own, I suppose it was easy. The ultrasound made things very real. I’m not sure I know how to be a mom, but Jack would have made a great dad.”
“Love covers a lot of mistakes.”
Annie’s eyes burned and then her cheeks. She didn’t want to cry. Especially not in front of a woman who had raised kids on her own while her husband was in harm’s way. Helen would think her a total wimp.
“It’s okay to feel, Annie. Our weakness gives God the chance to show His strength. Lean on Him.”
She sniffed and nodded. She had to stop leaning on Matthew with the expectation that he’d make things okay. That he’d take Jack’s place.
“And you can call me any time you need to. I’m serious about that.”
Tears welled again and ran over. Matthew had been right. She needed his mom. Maybe now more than ever. She managed a raw-sounding “Thanks.”
Helen smiled and handed her a tissue from one of the bathrooms. “If you need to freshen up, take your time. I smell the food on the grill, so it’s got to be ready. I better get down there. We can talk more later.”
“Okay.” Annie blew her nose and headed for the bathroom.
Once back downstairs, Annie helped Matthew’s sisters take covered dishes out onto the deck through the slider in the family room. Passing by a wall covered with family photos, Annie stopped and stared. There, in the middle of a grouping of pictures, was one of a teenaged Matthew bottle-feeding a small raccoon.
Jack had shaken his head when he’d told her about the seagull with a broken wing that Matthew had mended. Even teased by the crew, Matthew hadn’t given up, and before they put into port, the seagull had flown away. Healed.
Monica stood next to her. “He found that baby after its mom had been hit by a car. He nursed it, fed it and then finally released it.”
“Even then,” Annie whispered.
Monica chuckled. “He was always bringing home something or someone. Matthew never had to be coaxed into helping the elderly lady down the road after her husband died. My dad used to force us to go over there, but not Matthew. He’d go on his own. He’s always had a soft spot for orphans and—ah, anything injured.”
Annie nodded, but something twisted deep inside. Was she one of Matthew’s projects? Monica hadn’t said it, but she’d meant widows. Orphans and widows. Not that there was anything wrong with Matthew’s compassion, but she’d been lapping up his kindness like a water-starved dog.
Their attraction was undeniable, but would it last? This heady need for each other had been born out of grief. Their first kiss had everything to do with desperation. But not the last few. The kisses they’d recently shared held promise. Even hope.
Annie set a bowl of potato salad on the huge picnic table that took up half the deck. When she looked up, Matthew stood across from her, looking back. His dark blue eyes shone with concern. He cared. He’d always cared.
Her heart tore a little.
Matthew deserved someone whole, someone who could stand on her own. And right now, that wasn’t her.
Chapter Twelve
His family gathered around the picnic table for the mealtime prayer. Matthew echoed his father’s words along with the rest of his family. They knew the drill. Not one piece of food until after they’d prayed.
“Amen.” A family chorus rang out. It was always louder than the actual prayer and then dinner was attacked from all sides.
Matthew slid next to Annie and smiled.
She smiled back. But she didn’t say anything. In fact, she’d been quiet all day.
Matthew was used to big family dinners but Annie wasn’t. He and his siblings had filled their plates in no time as dishes were passed. He looked at Annie’s pile of carrot and celery sticks and small plop of potato salad and chuckled. She was a rookie.
“Are you feeling okay?”
“Yeah, why?”
He had the tray of cheeseburgers in his hand and she was definitely eyeing one. “For starters, you look like you want one of these.”
Annie frowned. “Actually, I do.”
“You’re kidding, right?”
“They smell so good.” Annie took a cheeseburger and bit right into it. Then she sighed. “Taste good, too,” she mumbled and took another bite.
Matthew openly stared. “Annie Marshall eating red meat. I never thought I’d see it.”
She swallowed and then whispered, “Weird craving.”
Matthew laughed. “Well, well. Now, that’s my boy!”
Monica dropped her fork with a clatter against her plate. His sister’s eyes grew round as portholes as she stared at Annie. “You’re going to have a baby?”
The sudden silence surrounding the table slapped him hard. He’d let he news out of the bag. His family stared. At him and then at Annie.
Her face flamed. “Yes, but—”
His sister’s gaze skewered him. “Matthew!”
“No, no,” Annie stammered. “It’s not...”
He looked at the stunned faces staring at him, waiting for an explanation. The narrowing of his father’s eyes, the regret shining from Darren’s, the smirk in Luke’s. Even Cam looked surprised. Ben and Marcus were confused, but that was normal.
Matthew threw his hands in the air. “Whoa, whoa, wait. This is Jack’s boy.”
“Could be Jack’s girl.” His mom’s cheerful voice broke through the awkwardness. “And very exciting, too. Wonderful news, Annie.”
“Thank you, Mrs. Zelinsky.”
He heard a collective sigh of relief. Or maybe he simply felt the tension lessen, but not from Annie. Her shoulders slumped with defeat. She wouldn’t look at him, either.
Great. He’d botched that one.
He waited mere seconds for
Annie to confirm the baby’s gender and when she didn’t, he did that, as well. “We found out at the ultrasound appointment yesterday. He’s definitely a boy.”
Annie’s eyes closed briefly. She settled her half eaten cheeseburger on her plate and nodded. “Yes, a boy.”
Monica looked at Annie and then bore more holes into him, before shifting back to Annie. “Congratulations.”
“Yeah, congrats. When are you due?” His sister Erin was all smiles.
“Mid November.” Annie’s voice wavered.
What was the big deal? Annie planned to tell folks, anyway. But then maybe she didn’t want anyone to know she’d have a boy and he’d stepped on her toes making the announcement. But this was his family, not a group of strangers. Still, it was Annie’s news to tell. Not his own.
He glanced at his brothers. Cam shifted in his seat, and Darren hung his head. Not even his younger brothers looked comfortable with the news. Except for Luke. His little brother bit into a bratwurst, completely unconcerned.
“It’s probably too early to plan, but maybe we can host a shower for you here at the house. But we can talk more, closer to your date.” His mother had given not only her approval, but her support, as well.
He could have hugged her right then and there.
Annie looked surprised, no, moved. And grateful. “Thank you.”
Matthew reached for her hand under the table, encouraged when she threaded her fingers through his and held on.
They’d be okay. Waiting would be made easier by the fact that he’d be out on the lakes for the next few months. All he had to do was keep his mouth shut about how he felt until after he came back.
* * *
After a long and leisurely paced dinner, Matthew’s sisters cleared the table, so Annie stood and gathered plates. So did Helen.
“Mom, sit, we got it,” Monica said.
Helen made a face and nodded Annie’s way. “I’ll start a fire, then.”
Annie watched Matthew’s mom walk away. The guys had already left the table for the horseshoe pits. It was still pretty warm, but with clear skies and a distinct lack of humidity, the evening would no doubt grow cooler and a fire would be welcome.