“Momma!” Gerald squealed as he wrapped himself around her legs. Phillip mimicked his brother as soon as his little legs could take him to his mother’s side.
Beth hugged her children close, refusing to show them her sorrow. Oh JB, she cried silently. Why? Why did you have to leave them now? Why did you have to leave me?
“Momma, was that a letter from Daddy?” Gerald asked in his boisterous voice.
Beth steadied her nerves, lifted Phillip into her arms, and led Gerald with her to sit beneath their favorite towering pine. Gerald, always the more sensitive of the two, sobered at his mother’s expression. He waited quietly while Beth settled herself with Phillip.
“The letter wasn’t from Daddy, but it was about Daddy,” Beth said and took a deep breath. She breathed a prayer, asking God for just the right words. “Daddy has to go away for a long, long time.”
“Did he go to heaven?” Gerald asked, surprising Beth with his bluntness.
“Yes,” Beth said softly, uncertain that Gerald could really understand. “What made you ask that?”
“Daddy told me he might have to go to heaven instead of coming home after his job was done.”
Good old JB, Beth thought. She should have known he would prepare his child for the possibility of his death. “Do you understand about heaven, Gerald?”
“Daddy said it was a really beautiful place. A place where you got to live if you loved God,” the boy answered quite seriously.
“That’s right,” Beth said as she tried to think of what she might say next.
“Will we see him again?”
“Yes,” Beth assured. “We’ll see him again in heaven.”
Phillip seemed oblivious to the news, but Gerald’s little forehead furrowed as he concentrated on his mother’s answer. Beth wondered if he would cry or if he’d truly be able to grasp the meaning of his father’s death. JB had already been gone from Gerald’s daily life for several months.
Gerald began to nod his head and Phillip, ever faithful, did likewise. “Then it’s okay,” he said as he put his hand on his mother’s arm. “If Daddy’s in heaven, then it’s okay.”
Beth looked at her brown-eyed son and smiled. “Yes, it’s okay, Gerry. Daddy’s in heaven and it’s really okay.”
Phillip squirmed out of Beth’s arms and ran after some birds, while Gerald sat beside his mother and held her hand. He seemed to sense that, while his mother’s words were filled with hope and eternity, her heart was empty and hurting.
Later that night, after Bethany had tucked the boys into the double bed they shared, she made her way to the sitting room. The rolltop desk gave slight resistance as she pushed it open and took a seat.
There was a great deal to be done in order to get everything arranged. Being American, Bethany was determined to return to Alaska and raise her children as Americans, but where should she take them and how would she support them? There was the small nest egg that she and JB had saved, but that wouldn’t last long with two growing boys.
JB had always teased her about being so meticulous and organized. Beth would make lists every fall and again in the spring of all the things that needed to be done. JB thought it foolish, but inevitably he relied upon them every bit as much as his wife. So Bethany made another list—in fact, several.
Across the top of the paper she wrote: THINGS TO SELL. THINGS TO TAKE. THINGS TO DO FIRST. Under the final heading, she listed the thing that seemed most important: Bury JB.
Beth worked long into the night, going over the contents of the house and JB’s shop. She thought of choice items to save as mementos for the boys, things that would give them fond memories of their father. Glancing up, she noticed the framed picture of JB in his uniform.
She put the pencil down and reached for the picture. For the first time, Beth allowed her tears to fall. It was impossible to imagine that the big-hearted man she’d fallen in love with was gone.
“JB,” she said aloud, “you told me this might happen, but I never believed you. You were always able to get out of any scrape, no matter how bad.” She looked at the photo, tracing JB’s outline. He’d obviously been told to look serious for the photograph, but his eyes crinkled with laughter.
“I never, ever thought you’d leave me. I trusted God to keep you in His care, which of course He did. I just didn’t know He’d choose to care for you in heaven.”
Beth got up from the desk and, with the picture still in hand, stretched out across the couch. She intended only to have a good long cry and then go to bed, but instead she fell asleep clutching the picture to her heart.
“Momma,” Phillip patted at Beth’s face. “Momma, me eat.”
Beth roused herself from a dreamless sleep, grateful for a reason to get up. The picture clattered to the floor, momentarily forgotten as Phillip climbed on top of his mother.
“Come here, you sweet boy,” Beth said, pulling the two-year-old into her arms. “You don’t look like you need food,” she teased as she looked underneath Phillip’s nightshirt. “But, you look like you could use a good tickling.” Phillip’s giggles filled the air as Beth ran her fingers lightly across her son’s abdomen.
“Tickle me,” Gerald called as he climbed on his mother’s legs. “I need tickles, too.”
The three of them rolled around the couch, laughing and giggling until Beth felt her sorrow melt away. JB wasn’t really gone. As long as Gerald and Phillip were here, she would have reminders of JB’s love for her.
“Come along, you ragamuffins,” Beth said as she set the boys aside and got to her feet. “I’ll get you some breakfast and then we have some errands to do.”
The boys padded after their mother to the kitchen and waited impatiently for her to prepare steaming bowls of oatmeal. After placing the food on the table, Beth went to the refrigerator and brought cream for their cereal.
“Berries, too, Momma?” Gerald questioned.
“No, I’m sorry. It’s still too early for them. I have a little bit of brown sugar though. I’ve been saving it just for you two,” Beth said as she went to the cupboard and pulled out a small china bowl.
Phillip clapped his hands as Beth spooned the sweetener onto the oatmeal. “Choogar, choogar,” he chanted, trying to pick up pieces of the lumpy brown sugar before Beth could blend it in with the cereal.
When breakfast was served, Beth took a seat at the table and she and the boys bowed their heads.
“Father, thank You for the food You’ve given us,” Beth prayed. “We ask for it to nourish our bodies, that we might have the strength and energy to do Your work. Amen.”
Gerald and Phillip went to work on their cereal, while Beth pulled a small, worn Bible from the pocket of her apron. Such was their morning routine: breakfast and devotions.
Beth opened to 1 John 2:28 and read to the boys: “‘And now, little children, abide in him; that, when he shall appear, we may have confidence, and not be ashamed before him at his coming.’”
She placed the book on the table and turned to Gerald. “Do you understand what that means?”
Gerald got a serious look on his face as his mind struggled to grasp the ancient words. “I know we’re little children,” he said pointing to himself and then to Phillip.
“That’s right,” Beth said with a nod. “And abide in Him means to live in God and God in you. Do you understand that?” Gerald nodded his head yes and Phillip mimicked the action before Beth continued.
“We are all God’s little children and this verse tells us that we are to remain close to Him. It also tells us why. It says we need to do this so that we won’t be ashamed when God comes back for us.”
“Like He came back for Daddy?” Gerald asked, surprising Bethany.
“That’s right. Daddy loved God very much, and because Daddy lived close to God, he wasn’t ashamed when God told him it was time to come to heaven.”
“Daddy in heh–hehbeen,” Phillip joined in.
Beth held back her tears. “Yes, Daddy is in heaven and he’s smilin
g right now because his two big boys are learning about God and how much God loves them. It makes your daddy happy and it makes God happy when you spend time learning about the Bible.”
“Will Daddy forget us while he’s in heaven?” Gerald asked with a look of concern. “What if we don’t get there very soon? Will Daddy know us when he sees us?”
Beth couldn’t hold back the hot tears that filled her eyes. “Daddy will always remember us. He won’t forget us and we won’t forget him. You wait here for just a minute,” Beth said using the opportunity to wipe her eyes as she went back to the living room for JB’s picture.
When she returned to the kitchen, the boys were nearly done with their breakfast. She put the picture in the middle of the table and took her seat. “This picture was taken last year when your daddy went away to fight in the big war.”
“He went to fly the airplanes, right, Momma?” Gerald queried.
“Yes,” Beth answered. “Your daddy flew the airplanes.”
“Did he fly his airplane up to heaven?”
“I’m sure that Daddy was in his airplane when he went to heaven. We never know when God will come to take us home to heaven, so we must always be ready. We must always be good and kind to one another, and we should always live close to God and His Word.”
Phillip reached out to the picture. “Daddy?”
Beth grieved that her boys would never remember their father for the person he was. He would only be a character in stories they heard and a friendly face that sat upon their breakfast table.
“Yes, Phillip,” she said as she allowed him to hold the picture in his chubby hands, “this is your daddy, and he loved us all very much. Whenever we miss him, we can look at this picture and remember that he doesn’t want us to be sad. Can you do that, boys?”
Both boys nodded their heads solemnly. They seemed to sense that the moment was quite important. “How long will it be, Momma? How long before we see Daddy in heaven?” Gerald finally asked.
“I don’t know, Gerry. But one day we will see him. Of that you can be sure.” It seemed to satisfy his boyish curiosity and Beth dismissed them both to play outside.
After cleaning up the breakfast dishes, Beth went once again to the living room, where she looked over the lists she had made the previous evening. Taking three thumbtacks, Beth posted her lists to the wall, determined to mark each item off as she accomplished the tasks. She was reaching for the telephone to call Pastor McCarthy when a knock sounded at the front door.
Beth opened it to reveal her closest neighbor and friend, Karen Sawin. Karen was always bubbly and happy-go-lucky, but the look on her face told Bethany that she’d already guessed or heard about the newest telegram.
“I thought you might be able to use a friend,” Karen said as she extended a freshly baked loaf of bread.
Beth accepted the still-warm bread and ushered Karen into the house. “Thanks. You always seem to know the right thing to do.”
“So,” Karen started uncomfortably, “I guess you heard something official.”
“Yes, JB was killed in action,” Beth said matter-of-factly as she put the bread on the coffee table and offered Karen a seat on the couch. “You’ll have to forgive the way I look. I fell asleep out here last night and haven’t changed clothes.”
“Why don’t you go ahead and take a nice hot bath and let me keep an eye on the boys?” Karen suggested.
Beth smiled and reached out to take hold of Karen’s hand. “You are such a dear friend. I’d really like that, if you don’t mind. Afterward, we can have a long talk.”
“Of course,” Karen said. “Whatever you need.”
An hour later, Beth emerged looking refreshed. She’d washed and dried her pale blond hair and gathered it back at the sides with mother-of-pearl combs.
“I feel like a new woman,” Beth said as she joined Karen in the living room. She wore a freshly pressed cotton dress whose bright peach color was trimmed with a white eyelet collar and armbands. The matching belt showed off Beth’s tiny waistline.
“You look so skinny, Beth. I’ll bet you haven’t eaten a decent meal since JB …” Karen fell silent.
“It’s all right, Karen,” Beth said as she leaned over to pat her friend’s hand. “What’s happened has happened. JB is dead. We can’t change it by not talking about it.”
“You’re taking it awfully well. I doubt I would be as capable as you,” Karen said honestly.
“I’m not handling it that well, Karen. I’m just numb and reliant upon the Lord.”
Karen nodded at Beth’s words.
“No doubt in a week or two, I’ll be beside myself,” Beth continued, “but then again, maybe not. I do have to be strong for the boys—after all, they can’t be expected to lose both of their parents.”
“That’s true,” Karen said as she pushed back her dark hair, “and we both know JB wouldn’t want you to be sad. I don’t think I ever saw JB with a frown on his face.”
“Nor I,” Beth agreed. “JB was a terminally happy man. He always joked that St. Peter would meet him at the pearly gates and ask him what was so funny. JB did love to laugh.”
“I’ll never forget the night before he left,” Karen remembered. “He was laughing and dancing with everyone, including old Mr. Thompson.” Karen stopped short and looked away. “Here I meant to come over and get your mind off JB, and I’m doing just the opposite.”
“I know what you mean. I tell myself I don’t have to deal with everything at once. I mean, it’s been nearly a year since JB joined the service. Aside from his few brief letters, the void has been something I’ve dealt with in an ongoing manner. Yet now that I know he isn’t coming back, it seems important to put all our affairs in order and to move on.” Beth stared intently into Karen’s hazel eyes. “Does that make any sense?”
“I think each person must deal with grief in their own manner. I know I’d be inclined to run away from all of it. Please don’t think me unfeeling, Bethany, but I pray to God I never have to know. If something happened to my Miles, I just know I’d crumble.”
Beth leaned over and hugged Karen tightly. “I don’t think badly of you at all. I pray you never have to know either. I pray daily that this war will end and Miles will come home safely to you.”
“You are such a dear friend, Beth. Is there anything I can do to help you?”
Beth pulled away and got to her feet. “As a matter of fact, there is. I’ve made several lists.” She paused with a grin. “You know me and my lists.”
Karen nodded and returned her friend’s smile.
“Anyway,” Beth continued, “I plan to leave as soon as I can. I want to return to Alaska with the boys and raise them as Americans. After all, they were born in America, and just because their father is—was—Canadian, that doesn’t mean they can’t share in my heritage as well.”
“But where will you go? You haven’t any family still living there. Who will take care of you?” Karen questioned in a concerned tone.
“God will take care of me, Karen. Remember Isaiah 54:4–5: ‘Fear not; for thou shalt not be ashamed: neither be thou confounded; for thou shalt not be put to shame: for thou shalt forget the shame of thy youth, and shalt not remember the reproach of thy widowhood any more. For thy Maker is thine husband; the Lord of hosts is his name; and thy Redeemer the Holy One of Israel; The God of the whole earth shall he be called.’”
“You have a strong faith, Bethany. I’ll do whatever I can to help you, but I’ll miss you sorely,” Karen said as she got to her feet. “Just tell me what I can do.”
As spring warmed into summer and the nights grew shorter, Bethany finalized her plans for moving her family to Alaska. She left many of her things with Karen, promising to send for them as soon as she and the boys were settled.
Then, despite the fact that an airplane had claimed the life of her husband, Bethany loaded her boys into the plane of JB’s best friend and mentor, Pete Calhoon. With a last look at the place she and JB had called home, Beth turned,
resolving to put the past behind her and start a new life in Alaska.
Chapter 2
Crash! Bang! Julie Curtiss cringed at the sound of the slamming doors. The clamor could only mean one thing: Her brother was home, and he wasn’t at all happy.
August Eriksson came stomping into the room. Mindless that his heavy boots were covered in mud, August marched across Julie’s clean kitchen floor and threw his body against the back of a chair.
“Bad news?” Julie braved the words. Her dark eyes were sympathetic as she reached out to touch her brother’s sleeve.
“They said I was too old,” August grumbled the words. “I’m not even forty-two, and they think I’m too old to join the military.”
Julie bit back a remark about being glad that August couldn’t go off to the war in the Pacific. Ever since Pearl Harbor had been bombed the previous winter, August had been bent on participating in the defense of his country.
“A lot of other people are going off and serving,” August said, dejected. Although he was two years Julie’s senior, he seemed like a little boy to his sister.
“Maybe God has another plan for you, August,” Julie suggested as she went to the huge cast-iron stove and poured two steaming mugs of coffee.
“I don’t think He has any plans for me. I mean, just look at me, Jewels,” he said, using his sister’s nickname. “Pa died a year ago, and you and Sam took over the house.”
“But August, you asked us to move in here in order to help with the dog kennel,” Julie said defensively. “Sam and I can certainly move back to town if you like.”
“No. No. No,” August said as he ran his fingers through his dark hair. “I didn’t mean for you to think that. I would have gone mad if you and Sam hadn’t moved in here. It’s just, oh, I don’t know.”
Julie patted August’s hand. “I know you want to help fight the war, but August, maybe there’s something special for you here in Nome.”
“I used to think that, too, but after all these years of being alone except for you, Sam, and Pa, I just want to get out.”
“Look, August, it’s the middle of the darkest days,” Julie said with a glance at the calendar. “It’s only the end of March, and with all the darkness we have in the winter, a body is bound to get discouraged.”
Brides of Alaska Page 14