by Theresa Kay
Tremors take over Kai’s limbs, and he falls onto his back. He twitches, his legs and arms bouncing off the ground, as more blood pours from his nose. Blood now begins to trail from his ears as well. I fall to my knees beside him, reaching a hand out and grabbing one of his. I may not know him well, or barely at all, but I can’t watch someone else die for the sake of one of Jastren’s “demonstrations.”
“Please,” I say again, this time softer, more plaintive. A plea instead of a demand. “I’ll—”
Help him! Vitrad’s voice echoes through my head, and the sensation of a hand squeezing my shoulder registers a second later.
I’ll deal with the fact that yet another E’rikon has now been able to get past my mental blocks later. Right now I need to use it to my advantage. Help him how?
Kai’s eyes have rolled back in his head, and spit is bubbling at his lips. And Jastren is laughing, a hard, almost maniacal sound that’s bouncing off the walls and echoing in my ears. I hate it. I hate him. I—
Find your shield and push it outward. Put Vi’Zirekai inside it. Use the… sense of my enhancement to access yours.
I use the physical connection with Vitrad to locate a mental one. Frantically, I trace it with my mind, trying to find some way to tap into his enhancement, but there’s nothing. He’s completely closed off to me, and I can’t get through. I don’t have the tools—or the know-how—to get past his defenses. I don’t know how. I can’t get in.
Figure it out. You are the only one who can do this. My enhancement does not allow for the shield to extend to others. He snaps in a harsh voice before taking a deep breath and throwing his mind open, leaving his every thought at my fingertips.
I dive into his mind without hesitation, pushing through images and emotions and snippets of thought, desperately working to locate what I need. So desperately that I lose my hold on the connection between us and tumble deeper into his head.
And now I’m floundering, drowning in the depths of his psyche. Waves of memories crash over me too quickly for me to focus on anything but tiny pieces…
Three laughing children: one green, two gold.
A stream of pale silver hair hiding smiling starburst eyes.
A golden child turning away.
A faceless male—a human—and that same silver hair wet with dark green blood, both images covered in a rolling white-hot rage and blistering despair.
Hours weeks months ages of blankness, of emptiness, of nothingness.
And then… a light? Pride. Hope. Love. Vengeance. Everything crashes back in.
Heated arguments. Secret plans. Quiet meetings.
For green and gold, this time they’ll fight back. And they will win.
Tendrils of darkness creep along the edges of each day, pulling some things closer and pushing others out.
The green child turns away.
Rage tinged with black swells and overflows, washing away everything in its path. And when it recedes, only devastation remains.
But the last golden child? She stays. And for her, I’d do anything.
Focus!
The word is a violent push that shoves me away from the flow of memories and back into my own head where there’s something I’m supposed to be doing. The shield! I still haven’t found it. I’m more careful this time, holding tight to the connection so I don’t get lost again. Now, how do I find what I’m looking for?
The enhancements are a part of me, a part of each enhanced E’rikon, and they’re all tied together somehow. It’s all connected. I graze over the string extending from my mind to Vitrad’s, tugging gently, looking for something that might be the thread of his enhancement—something I can use to find mine.
There! A twinge of recognition moves through me as I pass over a part of the connection that’s different. I concentrate on that contrasting feeling and edge my way back into myself, following the tiny prickle of awareness all the way to a massive collection of threads that make up my various enhancements. I study it, then pick out the one that seems to mirror the bit I felt in Vitrad. I give it a tug.
Power floods into me and wraps around my body like a blanket—no, like a shield. Eyes still closed, I push the power outward until I can sense it wrapping around another. I hold it there, keeping it tight around Kai, and open my eyes.
Kai is still on the ground. He’s breathing and no longer seizing, but he’s definitely not awake. Did I take too long? Is he going to recover?
My back slams into the wall, and a seething Jastren appears inches from my face. “What did you do?” He spits the venom-laced question, then slams me against the wall again. “Tell me what you did.”
“She—”
Jastren whirls and darts out a hand to grab Vitrad by the throat. “You do not speak to me. You are nothing. Do you hear me? Nothing!”
Vitrad eyes bulge, and his fingers claw frantically at the hand around his airway. But Jastren just stands there, squeezing and laughing, until Vitrad slumps, his head lolling to the side.
What the hell? When did he get so strong?
Jastren tosses the limp Vitrad to the ground and turns back to me. His head twitches to the side once, then twice, and he brushes at the front of his clothes. When he looks up… the blind rage is gone and he’s back to the stoic scientist. I don’t know which one is scarier.
“Now,” he says, “I assume we have an agreement? You have three days to bring me what I requested. Do not waste time.” He turns and strides away.
As he exits through a side door, I stare after him open-mouthed. My breath is stuck in my chest, and shock has me rooted to the floor. How am I still alive—and what in the hell just happened? I should go after him, do something, anything. But I have no weapons, and mind to mind, I don’t know if I could beat him. I was only able to save Kai because I had Vitrad’s help…
I slide down the wall and pull my knees up to my chest. There’s no choice here. Once again, I have to let him walk away, and the thought makes me sick. A normal, sane Jastren is bad enough, but that… that was an entirely new level of dangerous.
And he has the children.
He has Stella.
I SIT FOR A MINUTE. Two minutes. Ten minutes. I hate this feeling of being frozen and helpless, but I can’t seem to force myself into action. This situation is too familiar, it brings back too many awful memories. Yet again, I’ve let Jastren walk away while I sit with someone he hurt.
Two someones in this case.
They aren’t dead, but damn if it doesn’t feel like they are.
I’ve checked their breathing and their pulses I don’t know how many times, and every time in that split second between heartbeats, the full second between breaths… my heart nearly stops.
They’re alive. They’re alive. They’re alive. The chant is my only defense against the images splashing through my mind. Dane’s office. Blond hair. Red blood. And overlaying them is a sense of failure, hopelessness, and defeat.
I shudder and shove the images away. Now is not then, and as much as I’m kicking myself for not doing anything, I couldn’t have gone after Jastren alone. Not only because I promised Lir I wouldn’t run blindly into danger, but because I’m not entirely stupid.
I slide closer to Kai and pull his head into my lap. Providing comfort is something I can do. Using my shirt, I wipe some of the blood away from his face. Once again I flash back to someone else’s blood. He’s not dead. He’s not dead.
Vitrad coughs weakly, and my head jerks up. He coughs again and rolls onto his side with a soft groan. Cool relief washes through me, and I let out a long, slow breath.
As Vitrad continues to rouse, I study him. I’m not quite sure what to think of him anymore. I didn’t enjoy agreeing with him, but after being in his head… I kind of understand him. Not like I can forgive and forget and we’ll suddenly be best buddies, but like I can see him differently knowing what I know now. Underneath it all—his awful actions, his political maneuvering, his hatred for humans—he’s simply a person trying to protect
his family. His methods just leave a lot to be desired.
“Hey. Are you… okay?”
Vitrad rolls onto his stomach and coughs out a laugh. “I am alive. I suppose that would qualify.” He pushes himself up onto his elbows. His brows rise when he takes in my position with Kai.
“I wasn’t going to just let him lie there,” I say. “It’s not like there was anything else helpful I could do.”
“Did you contact the others?” He sits up slowly.
“Contact the others?” Heat floods into my cheeks. I hadn’t thought of that.
“I will assume that is a no.”
I jerk my chin up in assent rather than going into the fact that thanks to my—what did Jastren call them?—“frustratingly convenient defects,” I could probably only reach Lir. I look back down at Kai’s face. At least I’m not so defective I wasn’t able to access my abilities when I really needed them. Lir once said he thought my abilities could be brought on by strong emotion, and he’s probably right… though strong emotion is just as likely to paralyze me. Could I have saved Flint—saved Jace—if I’d known what to do?
My stomach twists. I haven’t been taking my training, such as it is, seriously enough. I’ve been hoping it would all come to me eventually—or that in some fluke of fate Jace might show up to help me—but I can’t wait around any longer. I need to know how to not only use but control these abilities now, even if it means pushing myself to my breaking point. Even if it means facing the fact that my brother may never be beside me again. One way or another I’ll be facing Jastren again in three days. I need to be ready, and I need someone who won’t coddle me to get me that way.
I’m probably going to regret this…
“When we get to the base, I need you to train me,” I say, continuing today’s habit of blurting things out the second they hit my brain.
Vitrad’s whole body jerks, and his mouth drops open. Of all the things that could fluster him, that’s what does it?
“What you did,” I say, “how you showed me… I need to know. I guess there are others who could do it, but you’re the most powerful or something like that, right? Jastren was never able to get through to me, thank goodness, and there’s no one else I can think of who has as much invested.” My eyes dart up to meet his. “And I know you won’t pull your punches. I need someone who can be hard on me, break through the blocks.”
He clears his throat. “I cannot teach you how to use enhancements I do not have,” he says.
“I realize that. But the shield alone is pretty handy, and you can teach me that much. And perhaps there’s some correlation in how my other enhancements are accessed. You could at least show me the how of things, right?” When he doesn’t respond right away, I add, “Lir doesn’t have any enhancements right now, and he was able to teach me a method of somewhat controlling one of mine.”
“Exactly how many enhancements do you have?” He leans forward and rests his elbows on bent knees.
I shrug. “With the shield, I’m up to at least three, maybe four. I’m not entirely sure if some of them are actual enhancements or just the typical E’rikon abilities with a boost.”
“A boost?”
I take a breath, ready to explain further, but then I pause. Should I be telling him all this? What if he finds a way to use it against me, or against the humans? Does it matter at this point? I’m not the only one taking a risk here. He’ll be taking a rather large one by training me at all—given how unpredictable my abilities can be.
I guess I’ll trust him for now. “The energy-sharing thing, it’s supposed to be between bondmates only or something like that. Well, I can do it with Jace too, so the best way I can think of to describe it is as a boost.”
“Interesting.” He studies me with narrowed eyes. Calculating, but not necessarily cold. “What makes you think I can break through your ‘blocks,’ as you call them? Not even the kiun could do that, and that is our most powerful…” He drops his gaze to his hands. “Interrogation technique.”
Interrogation technique? That’s what he’s calling it? I clench my teeth and look away. He used that thing on me, or ordered its use, the first time I was in the city, when I was his prisoner. And he used it on Lir—tortured him with it. And this is the man I’m asking to train me?
Lir is going to hate this plan. But I have no other options. Rym would do it, but he’d go too easy on me. Either that, or I’d be too terrified of hurting him to really let loose. I swallow back the sick feeling crawling up my throat and push away the memories of the searing bright white light of the kiun and all the screaming it caused.
“I don’t know.” I look up, telling him with my eyes that just because I’m asking this doesn’t mean I trust him or forgive him or even like this idea. But it’s necessary. “Maybe because I’ll let you in. Or try to. Seems you did fine a few minutes ago.”
He lets out a sharp exhale, almost a laugh. “Though I would be happy to take the credit, that was more you than me. I cannot say I am fond of the idea of giving you free rein in my head.”
“What other choice do we have? Can you stand against Jastren? Obviously not physically. He shook you like a rag doll and didn’t break a sweat. But what about mentally?” I pin him with my gaze. “You’re more than welcome to take a shot, but I think we both know I’m the only one who has a chance of beating him. My shikiza might be uncontrolled, but it’s just as deadly strong as his. And I’ve gone against him without using enhancements before—well, not consciously—and although I damn sure haven’t won, I have managed to keep him out of my head. That’s more than you can say.”
He averts his eyes and clears his throat again. “Fine.”
“Okay.” With this uneasy truce reached, now I just have to figure out a way to explain it to Lir.
Kai’s body jerks. He coughs once, but it’s followed by more, gradually increasing in volume and severity until he’s curled in a ball coughing so hard he can barely catch his breath. Finally it stops, and he takes in a long, gasping breath. He opens his eyes, mutters something I don’t understand, and pushes himself away from me.
“Where… what…?” He struggles to sit up.
Vitrad makes a calming motion with his hand. “Relax, Vi’Zirekai. The others are on their way. We are safe enough for now.”
Another nonsensical mutter. “I need… you need…”
“Jax!” Lir’s yell hits my ears about the same time everything else he’s feeling registers through the bond. Gut-wrenching terror that quickly morphs into a crashing wave of relief as he rounds the corner and spots me. He runs to me, drops to his knees at my side, and pulls me into his chest. His whole body shudders. “I couldn’t feel you… I thought…”
“It’s okay. I’m okay.” For maybe the first time ever, I let my calm flow over to him. I run my hands over his back, waiting for his racing heartbeat to settle.
Miri is next down the hallway. She sprints to Vitrad and helps him to his feet. Vitrad is giving me yet another look of shock and surprise. What…? Oh.
I close my eyes and shake my head. I’m not supposed to be able to shut my bondmate out—but of course I somehow did. Great. I’m getting weirder by the day. I hold Lir tighter, locking my arms behind his back.
Rym runs around the corner, a frantic look on his face as he scans the people in the hall. He relaxes in increments as he sees each face. And when his eyes land on Kai, his run becomes more of a jog. He stops beside me and Lir, pointedly ignoring his father, and puts a hand out, a smirk ghosting across his lips. “Need a hand, cousin? You know, since you don’t have any fancy bodyguards.”
Lir smiles, grabs his cousin’s hand, and rises to his feet, then turns to help me up. He runs his hands up and down my arms and once over my cheeks in quick, frantic movements as if to assure himself that I’m here and I’m whole. Finally, he nods to himself and turns to face his uncle, his finger pointed accusingly as he stalks forward with a snarl on his face. “What happened? What did you do? I swear I will—”
&nb
sp; Miri steps into Lir’s path with a hand up, her meaning quite clear. Stop.
Lir’s hands curl into fists. Confused rage crashes through the bond, and his expression is so feral I think he might push past her in order to attack his uncle, so I tug at the back of his shirt. He takes a step backward to stand beside me. I place a hand on his arm and give it a squeeze. “He didn’t do anything,” I say. “It was Jastren.”
“Jastren was here?” The rigidity in his shoulders trickles away.
“Yeah.”
Lir takes a few deep breaths, working on calming himself. “What happened? How…” He shakes his head, the lingering fear stealing his words.
I rest my forehead on his shoulder. “Why don’t we get out of here first? I can tell you the story on the way.” I lean back. “You guys found a ship, right?”
He goes still as if coming to a sudden realization. “Where’s Stella? And the other children? None of them…”
“They’re safe. For now.” I sigh.
Lir’s eyes narrow as he studies my face.
Stella is in no immediate danger, I say, praying he can’t tell how far I’m stretching the truth. We need to get out of here. I’ll tell you about it when we get on the ship.
He jerks his chin up in a nod. Okay. Let’s go then. He grabs my hand tightly and leads me up the hallway.
SOMEONE SHAKES MY ARM, YANKING me from sleep and sending my brain into a panic. My eyes fly open, but nothing around me will come into focus, and the air suddenly feels too thick to breathe. I bat away the hand on my arm and scrape at my throat, begging it to open and allow a breath. Where am I? What’s going on? Who—
“Jace! Calm down.”
The world around me stops moving. No. The vehicle. I’m in the truck. With Peter. Safe.
He’s not here. He’s not here. He’s not here.
I hold my body stiff and tense, my eyes back to being closed, and continue the chant until my racing heartbeat slows. It isn’t until I’m able to take steady, even breaths that I open my eyes again.