Mya grinned, kissed me passionately then stepped abruptly away. She was breathless from her own lack of restraint and heaved a wistful sigh at me with wide eyes.
“Fine, let’s go now because dinner is looking less and less favourable right now.”
The ride to the restaurant was comical because we both had a sly fondle as we teased each other whilst the driver talked non-stop about a trip he’d taken to London twenty years ago. He was completely oblivious to what we were doing and if you’d asked me what he’d said at any point during the journey I’d have failed that test. My attention was firmly focused on my gorgeous brunette beside me.
Mya was delighted with my choice of restaurant, she’d never been there before and I could see she was impressed with the effort I had made to reserve a table in the corner. There was a window on either side which gave us a panoramic and uninterrupted view of the sunset. Actually, I had impressed myself because I’d never given a thought to doing something like this before.
A few moments after we sat down the sun began to set on the horizon and I knew that just watching it with her sitting next to me wasn’t good enough for her. So I stood up and held my hand out to her. She looked puzzled but slowly joined me. Bending slightly I scooped her into my arms and sat on her chair with her on my lap. She chuckled, slightly embarrassed, but went with the moment and laid her head on my shoulder. I had no words for the feelings that were bubbling inside me but our reverent silence as we watched the sun go down marked the significance of a perfect moment together.
When dusk fell Mya retook her seat and we ordered our food. She stared affectionately at me during dinner and I loved watching her eat because she was so refined in her eating habits and her mouth looked so tantalising and luscious I couldn’t stop doing it. She looked so cute when she chewed with those perfect lips and she pouted when she had to catch some sauce from dripping from her mouth. I just found the experience of Mya eating fascinating.
For a girl who grew up with an uncle like Rick, Mya was everything he wasn’t. Don’t get me wrong, Rick was a great guy, but years of mixing with the edgy rock star types meant that he was very far removed from the guy I imagine he once was at her age.
During our conversation I teased her about all the guys who would hound her when she got to college and that she’d soon forget about me. I suppose it was my insecurity with her age that made me say it, but her response stopped me dead.
“Yeah, you think so? I’ll remind you of this conversation when we’re old and grey, Jack Cunningham. I’m marrying you whether you like it or not.”
My eyes darted to hers and she stared straight at me with a smile on her face and for a minute I could see the certainty in her expression of what she’d just said, then she apologised.
“Sorry. That was very presumptuous of me to say that when you don’t feel the same.”
I could see her confidence sliding from her expression and I had to call a halt to my shoddy behaviour and tell her exactly what was on my mind.
“I do.”
I didn’t know how to say it because anything I said may have been taken as me trying to just make her feel better. The next thing I said had to be the truth and it had to be right for Mya.
“Mya, I love you. When I held you in my arms at the airport I knew, you are the girl for me. My plus one. The only one. Mine. I should have told you yesterday when I saw you, but then we got carried away in your apartment and I didn’t want you to think…”
“It was in the moment?” Mya nodded and looked thankful. “Thank you, Jack. Thank you for waiting. Now what?”
“Now it’s a bit messy, love. You’re twenty years old, you’re about to go to school…”
“I can go to school in London. I’ll transfer. Uncle Rick will fix it for me.”
“You see, Mya? This is the problem I have. I should be able to do everything for you and I can’t. I don’t have a magic wand to make you older and I don’t have a wand to wave you past college. What if you do this with me and wake up one morning and think that you’ve made a huge mistake?”
“Jack. You’re over thinking this. Love doesn’t have ages or college degrees and twenty doesn’t make me emotionally immature. Can’t I be one of those people in life that just know what they want from theirs and how to get it?”
I stared into her eyes as they searched my face. Her argument stood up and I knew one of those people she was talking about. Lily.
“But…”
“But, what? What if we don’t last? What if we have ten babies and I get fat and you hate me for not being the slick rock chick you met X amount of years ago? What if you lose your six-pack and your hair and become a cranky old couch potato or have an affair? Jack, life is about chances and luck, and life partners are about choices and making things work, about working at it and carrying on working at it. Being with someone is about sharing life’s ups and down and the humps in the road, Jack. Not fucking rainbows, sunsets, candles, and women staying size zero after their ten kids and the all other romantic shit that the media wants us to believe.”
She reached out and took my hand away from the wine stem I was holding. She laced her fingers in mine then she took a deep breath and held it as she stared me square in the eye. I didn’t know if she was expecting me to say something, but when I didn’t she exhaled heavily and spoke again.
“Look, Jack, I can’t make myself be anything except what I am. I’m twenty years old but being around my daddy and Uncle Rick with all their high profile contacts and shit has made me pretty savvy. I don’t need anyone to tell me how to live my life. I don’t need to be compared to a twenty-five or thirty year old woman because they may have had small lives. I’ve lived a huge one, trust me. I am the last person that would hook up with a guy half way around the world on some romantic notion. Sometimes you just know, right? When something is the real deal, yes?”
“So if I said marry me and come to England?”
“Is that a proposal?”
“Just answer the question, Mya.”
“I will when you decide you want to ask that question for real, Jack. If you ever do that is.”
My eyes dropped to stare at her fingers woven between mine and I knew she was the one for me. Everything about our connection felt right. When my eyes flicked back to hers, I saw that they were full of determination and I could see she had no doubts in her mind. I realised that the only thing I could do was put my faith in her to know that was what she wanted. I had already made my own mind up that this was definitely what I wanted.
“So, Mya Fars. This isn’t exactly how I would have planned to ask you such a life changing question, but my imagination is just about tapped out today. And for your information as soon as I saw you yesterday I knew I wanted to marry you.”
I stared lovingly into her eyes and my heart beat like a thousand drums in my chest with the anticipation for the answer to the question I had on the tip of my tongue.
“So… would you do me the honour of being my wife? Because for me, I am absolutely one hundred percent certain you are the only girl I have ever loved, will ever be in love with.”
“Jack, we could date for years and still be in the same place as we are right now, so yes, I’d be delighted to marry you.”
“Holy shit. This should have been done so differently, you deserve…”
“You? Jack, if you’d wrote a post-it note and left it on the flusher of the toilet, I’d have said yes. I’ve been around pomp and ceremony all my life, being invited to prestigious events and award ceremonies. Believe me, I’m ecstatic I’m going to spend the rest of my life with you.”
I still felt bad I hadn’t even asked her father but I’d never even thought about marriage so I had no clue how to do it or what kind of place would be right, but when I saw the smile on her face, I knew none of that really mattered to her, it was the commitment that was key.
“Jesus, does that mean we’re engaged? Tomorrow I think we need to shop for your ring before we hit Rick’s place ot
herwise I think everyone will try to talk us out of this.”
“So what? Do we care what anyone else thinks? Jack, I pity anyone who can’t see what we have. We just have to prove to everyone that love doesn’t come with a timestamp.”
I cupped her chin, leaned over the table and kissed her softly on the mouth. Most girls would have been disappointed to have been asked for their hand in marriage like that. Mya was much smarter than me and on an emotional level I knew I’d have to think damned hard before I’d find a person with more maturity than what she’d just shown me. So I accepted that she knew what she was doing and until I had asked Mya the question and she’d replied, I hadn’t realised how relieved I would feel if she said yes.
Chapter 36 ~ Mixed feelings
Sunsets and candles didn’t matter. Mya was right, and if that is a once in a lifetime feeling then why does it matter what anyone else has to say about it? In my heart I felt it, when I touched her I felt it, when I heard her voice my heart raced, when I saw her my heart had pretty much the same reaction.
My body reacted to Mya in a way it never had with any other woman before her and my dick was almost permanently hard. She had agreed to be mine forever and always and suddenly I was filled with a sense of peace I realised had been missing in my life.
Even though I was jetlagged from the flight we didn’t waste the rest of the night. It was filled by my new favourite pastime—sensual and passionate love making. We experienced an earth shattering connection that was both slow and deliberate, with a mixture of soft delicious kisses, and long piercing glances, then hungry passionate kisses which ended in an almost punishing union. By the end of it she was screaming almost continually and we were both soaked with sweat. When we were finally sated, we flopped onto our backs panting and chuckling with laughter.
Curling up with her after sex was an incredible feeling but waking up next to her, was even better. She felt exactly right in my arms and according to her I was the right man for her.
As promised, I took her to find a ring and found that her taste in jewellery was very modest. She chose a simple round two-carat solitaire diamond in a thin platinum setting. Her eyes shone brightly as she watched me slip it on her finger right before I kissed her.
“I love you so much, Mya.” I murmured when we broke the kiss.
Mya grabbed my shirt and pulled me back towards her, twisting the cotton in her fist and kissed me again. I was vaguely aware of the assistant sighing before we pulled away from each other. Once the ring was on her finger, it was official. She was going to be Mrs. Cunningham and I didn’t really have a plan for that yet.
After we left the jewellers we headed to Rick’s place. I’d never been there before but in my mind it was opulent, extravagant, and would have a swimming pool full of women. The reality was huge metal gates at the end of a quiet country lane which I realised later also belonged to him as did the last mile of road we’d driven along.
I had noted that there were some girls sitting at the side of the road wearing Cobham Street t-shirts. They were camped out and there was a guy talking to them. I found out afterwards that that’s where the boundary to Rick’s private land was and it was constantly patrolled to weed out fans and other fanatics that were trying to get to him.
Mya reached into the glove compartment and pulled out a fob that she aimed at the gates which opened with an alarm sounding at the same time. A menacing guy with a huge German Sheppard came out of a small cottage immediately inside the gate and nodded at Mya then turned and headed back inside and I realised just how hard Rick had to work for his security.
As she drove up the long driveway my heart began to beat faster when I noticed Alfie’s vintage Aston Martin car sitting outside. I felt betrayed because my initial reaction was that Rick had arranged a reunion for me and Lily.
I still hadn’t spoken to Lily and I had already planned in my head to do that after Christmas. I knew I kept putting it off but the time had to be on my own terms. My jaw ticked and I realised I was clenching my teeth as my temper rose. I hated people interfering in my life and I hated being forced to do things I wasn’t ready for even more.
Mya’s eyes met mine and she instantly understood what the presence of Alfie’s car meant without me even saying anything.
“Look, Jack. This is a new beginning for us. You have to talk to Lily sometime so let’s just get it over with. You miss her. I can hear it every time you talk about her. Let it go.”
Mya was right. It had been nearly six months and I guess I’d made my point. Rosie had a new life and so did I. Nodding I pulled the door handle and pushed my weight against the door.
Rick opened his front door before we reached it.
“Sorry, Jack, come in. Alfie and Lily are here.” Rick wasn’t his normal sarcastic self and the feeling I had was that there was something amiss.
Rick and Mya hugged then Rick caught Mya’s left hand as she was stepping back. Glancing at the ring, he instantly ran his hand through his hair with a distressed look on his face.
“Shit. No. Please, no.” He was shaking his head vigorously.
Not exactly the response we wanted but I kind of figured that Mya’s family wouldn’t be best pleased if I scuppered any plans she had for college.
Alfie appeared in the doorway then stepped forwards with his hand out. I stared at it for a few seconds then met his palm with mine.
“Hey, Jack.” Alfie put his arm around me and began to steer me into the sitting room where Lily was sitting. I had expected a punch from him rather than a handshake. Lily looked like she’d been crying and all my anger just dissipated as I strode towards her to comfort her.
“Hi, sweetheart. Are you okay?”
Lily stared at me and was so emotional that she couldn’t speak and to think I had something to do with that tore me up. Glancing round for Mya I noticed that she and Rick hadn’t followed us into the sitting room and wondered if Rick was giving Mya a hard time about our engagement.
Lily looked up and took a deep breath then swallowed audibly and took another breath before bursting into tears. Something’s wrong.
Alfie pulled me to sit beside him and took a note out of Lily’s bag.
“Jack, sorry buddy, you need to read this.”
By then my heart was thumping so quickly that I had pins and needles in my fingers and a metallic taste in my mouth. I knew instinctively it was bad news.
Glancing down at the envelope I recognised Rosie’s hand writing and turned it over thinking, the baby is mine. But I wasn’t prepared for what the note said.
Dear Lily,
If you are reading this Stewart and I are no longer alive, so I’ve written this letter to be delivered to you in the event of my death. Ava-Jacqueline is Jack’s baby. Anyone who looks at her can see that she’s all him and very little of me. She is a beautiful, sunny little girl with a cheeky personality— just like her daddy.
My eyes filled with tears and I couldn’t read on. Rosie was dead and Ava-Jacqueline was my baby. Jacqueline. Jack. Fuck! How did I miss that? Rosie’s dead?
No! No! I’m here to share our news of our engagement and now…I’m a father…I can’t expect…No wonder Rick had reacted the way he did.
“Hold on. Where is she? Where’s my baby? Why would Rosie deny me the right to see my own child? I’ve missed nearly four months of her life. And she never told me? I believed her when she said the baby wasn’t mine. That twisted bitch! Why would she do that to me…to her child? Rosie’s dead? How did she die? What the fuck is going on?”
My mind was flitting from one question to the next and I couldn’t think rationally. I’d just had the biggest shock of my life and my day had gone from jubilation to disaster in a heartbeat. I was a father, my ex-girlfriend was dead and I had a beautiful young fiancé. Add to that Mya lived overseas and was about to go to college and I suddenly felt my head was going to explode.
The impact of everything I had just learned began to take effect and I felt my legs give way from under me.
Luckily Alfie was there beside me in an instant and caught me before I hit the ground.
I didn’t pass out but I don’t know how long it was before I was coherent after the news. When I had absorbed some of the shock, Lily told me that the rest of the letter said that Rosie had not wanted me to know about the baby. Stewart’s name was on Ava-Jacqueline’s birth certificate and Rosie had left Lily as Ava-Jacqueline legal guardian in the event of Rosie’s death.
Apparently they were on holiday and they slept in a room with a faulty heater and had carbon monoxide poisoning. My baby had been in a different room, thank God. Lily had only got the hand delivered letter that morning and had rung Rick because he’d mentioned that I was over to see Mya. So Rick actually had nothing to do with Alfie and Lily being there. He just landed himself the role of facilitator.
When I heard that Rosie didn’t want me to have anything to do with our baby it felt like a knife was twisting in my gut. Was I that bad of a person to her? Just because I couldn’t be with her didn’t make me a bad father. I just didn’t love Rosie enough when it mattered to us. I wasn’t ready and now that I’d met Mya I knew I would never have been truly ready with Rosie.
I was… just Jack, a normal guy who maybe joked a little. I was as flawed as the next man and maybe a little immature, but I was a good man and I knew I could be an amazing father when I had kids. My dad was a great teacher. Rosie’s judgement about my ability to parent was horribly off and that left a scar in my heart that would be there forever.
My thoughts became words and I was firing off my own questions to Alfie and Lily.
“Where is my baby now? Who has her? Where do I go to get her? Do you have a phone number? Jeez, what do I need to take care of her? Who’s going to tell me what to do?”
“Whoa, Jack.” Lily stood with her hands on my chest looking concerned.
“Jack, Rosie wants me to be her guardian.”
“Well, fuck what Rosie wants…or you.” I was seething that I’d had a child on this planet for over four months and it had been kept from me. Shaking my head vigorously I pointed and I stared at Lily, who had sat back down again,
Just Jack: Everything laid bare Page 26