by Jade Alyse
“We can’t do this here,” she whispered against the surface of his lips.
“I know,” he whispered back. “But it feels amazing…”
She nodded silently, converging her lips with his again, succumbing to the sensation of the wetness, and the aroma of his proximity.
“We should pack our bags and just leave,” she suggested.
He chuckled into her face, hugging her tightly as he ran his lips along her neck. “That’s not the Tallie Chandler I remember…”
“It doesn’t matter,” she replied, smiling in return. “People change…let’s just go, Brandy…”
“Okay,” he replied without hesitation. “I have a good idea as to where to start…”
Renewal
WHEN SHE DROVE her car back to her apartment and saw that Anthony wasn’t there, the situation reached a higher level of reality. Perhaps it was the first time that she realized that her decision was real and tangible, and that she and Brandon were both free to do what they wanted. She went into her bedroom and grabbed the first bag she could find. She couldn’t remember the last time that she felt this level of happiness.
She found a couple of sundresses and a pair of jeans, and a few shirts. It was only a matter of time before Brandon would arrive and take her away. She couldn’t even think of where.
She waited for what felt like an entire hour later when she heard a knock on the door. And Brandon stood behind it, bracing himself against the frame of it.
“You may not want to hear this,” he began. She sighed heavily. “No, I don’t think I do...”
“My car almost broke down on the way over here...I’m thinking that maybe the gas is low or something small like that...”
“So? Let’s stop by a gas station on the way...let’s go...”
He entered the apartment, and dumped a small brown bag on her living room couch. He then stood before her and wrapped his arms around her coolly, kissing her forehead slowly.
“I did some thinking on the way over here,” he began, pressing his hands into the meat of her sides.
“You make me nervous when you think...”
He chuckled warmly, kissing her cheek this time. “Hear me out...”
“I’m waiting...”
“We’re always on the run,” he began. “We’re always trying to run away from someone or something...it’s as if we both have trouble facing things the way that we should. So, do you think that leaving in the middle of the night is the best solution to this hasty situation...?”
Natalie sighed again and eyed him silently.
“I thought you would see it my way...” “I hate it when you make sense...”
“I learned from the best,” he replied. “I just want to focus on you for the rest of the night...tomorrow will come, I’m sure of it, and we’ll see where we stand...just allow me to stop time for awhile...”
She reached for the sides of his face, encouraging his forehead to embrace hers. “Just promise me,” she whispered against the bridge of his nose. “Just promise me that you won’t leave me tonight...promise me that I’ll wake up tomorrow morning and see you lying beside me...”
He kissed her lips once and she sucked in her breath, taken by full surprise. “I’ll never leave you again, Tallie...I swear...”
And she locked her arms around his neck, pulling him in as closely as she could, feeling overwhelmed by his smell and his strong embrace, loving the idea that being with Brandon was tangible once again...
#
He internally thought about the women in his past as he watched his Natalie sleep peacefully beside him. And every once in awhile, he’d feel the need to pinch her cheek, or stroke her head, and kiss her forehead, just to make sure that she was real, and their situation was real. He would never grow tired of watching her. He would never grow tired of wanting to cradle her in his arms, and shield her from the harsh world that she hadn’t experienced yet. He would never grow tired of the golden flecks in her mocha skin, or her unadulterated orgasmic scent. He would never grow tired of loving that flicker of vulnerability in her safeguarded eyes, or the fortification of her intelligence, or the core of her pure morality. He wanted to forget about any flaws in their imperfect connection; they were soul mates, through and through, of a juxtaposed kind, brought together by Fate or God or the Universe, or their disquieting magnetism toward one another.
He’d given up on the idea that he’d find someone like Natalie a long time ago, even when their love was in its first stages of development, even when he was convinced that she would never fully love him the way he that he pored himself over her. His feelings for her had transcended falling in love in the simplest of ways, which made his previous involvements with women look like child’s play on a playground.
He was sure that he and Sophia Baldwin wanted the same things out of love and relationships: security, honesty, loyalty, consistency – the route to get there was always a little blurry. Their fights were normal, their sex was normal if not fantastic on some occasions, but the pink elephant better known as deplorable chemistry always lurked in the corner, and he knew that he could never marry a woman like her.
Perhaps he and Reina Sloan could’ve been something great one day, but he kept an impeccable distance from her for obvious reasons. He would always look at her knowing that she would never be Natalie Chandler, no matter how sweet or beautiful or submissive she was. Natalie would never let him get away with anything...and he loved that about her. She would always make him feel young and fresh and necessary. He could never get that feeling with anyone else...
He would take her somewhere special, he would make her feel wanted and loved and appreciated, the way that he used to...
He couldn’t believe his luck...
#
She rolled over slowly, and the fresh sunlight stained her cheeks. She felt coolness beside her and felt her heart thump. Maybe the happenings of last night were only a dream or hallucinations of her wishful thinking; maybe she was still engulfed in the nightmare that had had her dreadfully enraptured for months...
But the warm shadows of the morning star moved a little and his silhouette appeared to the left of her and she couldn’t help but smile. She gently pressed her lips into his bare back, whispered that she loved him, and slid out of bed.
She started breakfast quickly, assembling what she remembered of his favorite breakfast: two slices of toast, nearly charred, eggs scrambled with cheese and diced peppers, and a large helping of bacon on the side. It would only be a matter of time before Brandon came wafting into the kitchen, wanting to taste everything in there...including her...
But Asha appeared instead, stone-faced and groggy and she slid into a kitchen chair at the small table in the nook.
Natalie tried to hide her smile, but her roommate saw it anyway.
“Why the hell are you so cheery this morning?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Natalie replied, dumping the hot pan of eggs onto a ceramic plate.
“The hell you don’t,” Asha replied sharply. “You’re smiling as if you just won the Noble Peace Prize...what’s going on...? Did you finally get laid?”
“God, Asha...no...”
“There are peppers in those eggs,” Asha remarked, arching an eyebrow curiously.
“I know...”
“Aren’t you allergic to peppers?”
“Possibly...”
“And didn’t you and Ant say that you both hated toast?”
“God, who are you? The food police?”
“Ha, ha...something doesn’t smell right...”
The sound of a toilet flushing fluttered from Natalie’s bedroom and Asha perked up even more.
“Anthony sure got in awfully late last night...”
Natalie cleared her throat, slicing the fruit slowly. “That’s...not...Anthony...”
And just as Natalie finished her last word, her secret appeared in the living room in nothing more than a pair of plaid pajama bottoms. He scratched
his belly slowly with a mystified look glazed across his face.
“You cooked me breakfast...?” he asked her, grinning slowly.
She nodded. “Just the way you like it...”
She lingeringly stared at Brandon, feeling giddy and light, blushing each time that his eyes flickered a little.
“Can someone please explain something to me...?”
“No, Ash,” Brandon replied, sitting at the kitchen table beside her. He then placed a hand to her shoulder. “Just know that me and your gorgeous roommate over there had a small discussion about some things and decided that it was best to...uh...give it another go...”
“Give it another go? Do you think I’m stupid...?”
“Of course not, Asha, baby,” Natalie replied, placing Brandon’s meal before him.
“A couple of weeks ago we had to yank you by your teeth to get you to even speak to each other...now, you’re boyfriend and girlfriend...? I don’t understand...”
Natalie joined the table. “You don’t have to, Ash,” she said, smiling into Brandon. “Just be happy for us...”
“Of course I’m happy for you...I just...I just want to...oh, fuck it...I love you guys...”
In many places and many cultures across the great expand called Earth, such a sensation is universally needed as a means to survival. Sure, she wasn’t used to pondering such profound thoughts on a graceful Indian summer evening downtown with her friends, but she liked to think that maybe her narrow scope was changing for the better, and a greater understanding for her purpose in life was forming.
Scotty was just as elated as Asha was, if not more. And as he and his best friend sat across from her and her roommate, he visibly attempted to refrain from asking too many questions about how their coupling came to be, and how they made it look so easy again. Natalie couldn’t answer that question, and she was certain that Brandon couldn’t answer it as confidently either. There were things between that often went without saying, and she realized long ago that her feelings for Brandon were far deeper than she was ready to acknowledge or prove or even voice out loud. But she was still getting used to the idea that he was smiling at her the way that he used to, that she was laughing with him the way that she used to, that she woke up that morning and he was laying right next to her, filling her body with a familiar warmth.
She could easily acknowledge that very little had changed about him; from the beer that he chose at dinner, to the way he styled his hair. And she was confident and glad that their love for each other had endured time and space and appalling tension...she shuddered a little at the thought of how they used to toward one another, how much she used to hate him, loathe him, want him...
Natalie took a deep breath. She wanted to savor the moment for what it was; she didn’t want to think about what tomorrow would bring or the next day...she only prayed that Brandon never grew tired of her...she didn’t know how she could handle life if he left again...
“I grow bored of Athens,” Scotty said, taking a sip of his beer. Brandon eyed him curiously.
“You’re always growing bored of something, Scotty,” Natalie teased. “This is nothing new...”
“What are you getting at, Kelly?” Asha questioned him, picking a fry from his plate.
“For those who are not aware,” he began, clearing his throat. “My aunt and uncle have a time-share on Jekyll Island and have invited me and my friends down for a barbecue this weekend...and while I have a number of friends, you are the only motherfuckers that I can stand for more than two hours...”
“That was perhaps the worse invitation I’ve ever heard in my life,” Natalie replied.
Brandon chuckled under his breath.
“Will your aunt and uncle be staying the whole weekend?” Asha questioned. “If you’re suggesting that they are two old farts, my dear Asha Rosalie,” Scotty began.
“Then you know nothing about them...they happen to be the two coolest people in the world...they don’t hover...but they know how to party...”
“Hmm,” Asha murmured.
“How much is it going to cost?” Natalie asked.
“Oh, my sweet, sweet Tallie,” Scotty teased. “My aunt and uncle are generous...you can stay free of charge...but you must chip in for groceries...”
“I’m definitely going then,” Asha said, holding her burger to her mouth.
“We’ve got one taker,” Scotty started. “Brandon, Natalie?”
“I won’t go unless she goes...”
Natalie hesitated.
“Nat, don’t think about it,” Scotty told her. “You and Brandon can have a free getaway...you should really take this time to get to know each other again...we can drink free beer till we puke, go to the beach, go shopping in Savannah, talk about science and shit... whatever you want to do...”
Natalie chuckled a little. “Fine...but I’m not wearing a bathing suit...”
#
Riding in Scotty’s car again and listening to the music with the windows rolled down was beyond surreal. Natalie sat in awe for a series of drawn out moments at a time, wishing that she could tritely pinch herself. She lounged comfortably in the backseat and remained quiet for the most part; she was much more comfortable with observing her friends and trying to remember them as they used to be. She couldn’t understand why they’d let each other go so easily, or why they never fought to get it back together. And maybe it was her fault; it appeared as though Asha, Brandon and Scotty had chosen to keep their friendship intact. She was just so unwilling to let the past be the past, she was still hurt, confused.
But she loved that maybe that was all behind her now, and she couldn’t wait for her and Brandon to get all the kinks worked out of their spontaneous reformation. And then she impulsively assumed that they were only meant to be friends, and that their romantic severance was meant to last forever. She took a deep breath at the thought of it, and subtly glanced over at him as he joked with Scotty. And then he glanced back at her and smiled, winking his eye as his fingers slowly snaked along the seat and reached for hers. She felt a series of shivers run through her in the initial contact, and she released a breath through her parted lips.
She quickly pushed that ridiculous notion out of her head. She couldn’t stand being near anyone else. It just wouldn’t the same. And Brandon knew it too. She slid her bottom across the seat, and nestled herself in his nook as he wrapped his arms around her. She could smell the cologne she’d bought him so long ago, and she pictured nothing but Jekyll Island, with the moonlit beach and Brandon’s moonlit eyes, and her desperate need to resist her burgeoning feelings for him. She was so young and ignorant, but there was something organic and new about their connection, and she couldn’t believe that she’d tried to hide her feelings for as long as she did. It was then that she realized that Brandon was more than his looks and his innate sexiness; she could see right through him, and his soul was what she wanted.
Not much has changed since then...
Scotty neglected to mention that his Aunt Francis and Uncle Kent were once two big- time Nashville criminal lawyers, who owned an oceanfront palace, which looked more like a mansion in Beverly Hills than anything else. But the appearance of the near-elderly Kelly twosome did not reflect their apparent wealth, which eased Natalie a little bit.
They allowed their nephew’s guests to choose one of five bedrooms, all on the upper level, all facing the ocean.
“You won’t even know we’re here,” Aunt Francis said, shaking herself a martini.
She and Brandon choose the bedroom at the end of the hallway with vaulted ceilings, a king-sized bed, and an obnoxiously large veranda.
“Is this a house or a hotel?”
“Yea, I want to be like them one day,” Brandon smiled, throwing their bags on the bed. She sauntered out on the veranda overlooking the crystal clear water, and she attempted to remember why Jekyll Island had been so significant once upon a time. Brandon followed quickly behind her, hooking his arms around her waist, pressing his lips aga
inst her temple, letting them linger.
“Finally alone,” he whispered. She nodded in agreement. “I can’t believe it’s been so long since we came here,” she said, smiling a little. “We should have come back a long time ago,” he replied. “We had a lot of fun that week, didn’t we?”
“Speak for yourself,” she replied. “I was freaking out the entire time...I was on a very extreme emotional roller coaster. Here I am, starting to regret going on the trip in the first place, because I knew what was going to happen. I knew my best friend felt the same way about our situation as I did. There’s something strange and exciting going on between us, and everyone can see it, everyone’s acknowledged it except us. We were close, we had fun, he always found a way to make me laugh, I could almost be myself with him. Then he kisses me one night and all of a sudden everything changes...and...and my feelings catapult...and I don’t know how to handle myself...”
He squeezed her a little harder. “I had acknowledged it...and I was waiting for you to do the same...I couldn’t wait to tell you what I had told Sophia...I couldn’t wait for you to understand what was going on in my head...how I was feeling...”
She turned to face him slowly. “And how were you feeling?” she asked him earnestly.
He took a deep breath, eyeballing her intently.
“The way I feel about you now,” he told her matter-of-factly. “The way I’ve always felt about you...you know that, Tallie...”
She lowered her eyes momentarily and shook her head. He reached down at the base of her chin and tilted upward toward his face.
“Don’t look away from me,” he murmured. “I’m tired of you looking away. You aren’t some random girl that I stop caring about two seconds into it...you’re way more than that and you know it...”