Like I need this, right? Tommy was making Skinny Bobby and Louie buy a lot of junk from Jenny when I left for the kitchen to whip up a little manicotti for her highness.
Manicotti Marinara With Mint
CREPES
1 cup flour
1 cup plus 2 tablespoons water
2 eggs
Beat flour, water, and eggs well to make batter. Pour, 1/8 cup at a time, into slightly heated and greased 9-inch frying pan (batter should make 8 to 10 thin crepes). Rotate frying pan to distribute batter evenly. Cook until bottom of crepe is just dry and crepe can be removed from frying pan with rubber spatula (top of crepe should remain moist). Lay crepes flat in clean work area until batter is used up,
“Yes, honey, put Bobby down for a case of shaving cream. Louie too.” Tommy’s largesse from the living room.
“But Tommy,” Jenny protested, “there’s twenty-four tubes to a case, at $4.95 a tube. That’s a lot of money.”
“Don’t you worry, Jenny, honey, both these lobs shave two, sometimes three times a day. Right, boys?”
The crew muttered their assents as I snuck back into the kitchen, but not before I heard T.A. put me down for a case too. Hey, it’s only money, right? I began making the cheese filling for the manicotti.
CHEESE FILLING
11/2 cups whole-milk ricotta cheese (Polly-0 brand preferred)
1/4 pound mozzarella cheese, diced
1/2 cup freshly grated Parmesan cheese
12 to 15 fresh mint leaves, well chopped
Salt and pepper to taste
Marinara Sauce (see page 16)
Mix the three cheeses, chopped mint leaves, and salt and pepper in a bowl. Spoon evenly into center of crepes. Roll crepes and fold the ends underneath, leaving seam on bottom. Spoon a few tablespoons of marinara sauce into bottom of casserole dish and spread evenly. Place crepes on top of sauce, and spoon rest of marinara sauce on top of crepes. Cook in preheated 325-degree oven for 20 to 25 minutes. Serves 4 to 5.
After dinner Tommy totaled up Jenny’s bill. We owed her $893.84, “without the sales tax.” Jenny said she’d get back to us with that, seeing as she’d forgotten her calculator. Tommy threw her a grand and told her to forget about the change.
Later, after a couple of hands of pinochle, T.A. took Jenny to see Lou Rawls in the Tack Room of the Diplomat Hotel in Hallandale. When I stopped by to pick him up on the way to the track the next morning, Jenny was just leaving.
“See, Joey, she wasn’t no hooker. She didn’t ask for nothin’ this morning. I don’t pay for____.”
“You don’t pay for it, Tom? What do you call free dinner, Lou Rawls, drinks all night at the Dip! Not to mention one thousand dollars worth of ____ing toothpaste?”
“Minchia, Joey, that ain’t paying for it. That’s business.”
Giambotta (Green Beans, Potato, And Tomato)
WEST PALM BEACH, FLORIDA, 1977 MY HOME
PEOPLE PRESENT:
Joe Dogs Billy Ray (Colombo associate and hitman)
Billy Ray loved his wife so much he killed her. Billy was part of Little Dom’s crew in New York. Stone cold. Dominick had sent him down to help me “persuade” a used-car dealer in Hollywood Beach that his health was in danger if he continued to beat up the daughter of a friend of ours. Billy Ray was a real good persuader.
Anyway, we’d just taken care of business in Hollywood (satisfactorily, I might add) and I invited Billy back to my house for dinner. My wife, Bunny, was visiting her mother for a week, and I decided to throw together a dish of giambotta. Billy followed me into the kitchen. That’s when he told me how he’d whacked his wife. Hey, nothin’ like a cozy chat while puttering around the kitchen, right? So Billy talked while I put together the ingredients for the giambotta.
Giambotta
4 to 5 cloves garlic, finely chopped
1/2 cup olive oil (extra-virgin or virgin preferred)
1 (35-ounce) can peeled tomatoes
Pinch of crushed dried oregano
2 medium to large boiling potatoes
Approximately 2 cups green beans (or sliced zucchini)
Salt and pepper to taste
A few years back, Billy began, he’d married his childhood sweetheart. Their honeymoon was interrupted when Billy had to go in for an eighteen-month stretch for assault. “When I came home,” Billy continued, “I found out she was ____ing one of my so-called friends. From the first day I went into the can! I couldn’t believe it. I wouldn’t believe it. So I decided to test her. Told her I had to go to California on a piece of work, and that I’d be gone a week, maybe ten days. I promised to call her every night. The first night I call her from Los Angeles and tell her I love her. You know what she says to me, Joey? ‘Ditto.’ Ditto, Joey! Can you ____ing believe that? I knew he was there in bed with her.”
I told him to save the rest of the story for dinner. I only hoped that I’d have an appetite after hearing it.
Slowly brown garlic in olive oil. Drain liquid from tomatoes and chop them coarsely. Add tomatoes to browned garlic and oil and cook for 20 to 30 minutes over moderate heat, stirring occasionally. Add oregano. While this is cooking, parboil potatoes and beans separately. Cook beans until tender (or al dente if preferred), drain, and add to tomato mixture. Cut potatoes into 1-inch cubes, add to tomato sauce, and cook for another 5 to 10 minutes. Salt and pepper to taste. Giambotta can be served as a salad or an entree. Serves 2.
As we sat to eat, Billy continued his weird “love story.” He said that after he hung up with his wife he picked up a hooker and banged her for $200. The next day he made arrangements with the hooker to stay in his hotel room and, for another $500, to play a role in what he told her was a practical joke. Billy gave the hooker his home telephone number and asked her to call his house—collect from Billy—at midnight eastern time. Then he hopped a flight back to New York under a fugazy name and picked up a hot .45 with a silencer.
The giambotta was delicious, and Billy was talking with his mouth full. “I got to my house at about 11:20 p.m., parked a block away, and opened the front door with my key. I heard a bunch of rumbling around in the bedroom. I walked in, flipped the light switch, and there they were, trying to get dressed. I shot him twice in the head and once in the heart.
“She was so scared she couldn’t speak. Believe me, Joey, I didn’t want to kill her. I loved her so much. If she would have ____ed around with some stranger, I’d probably still be with her. But my close friend! I let her have the other three bullets in the head. Then I turned off all the lights and poured myself a drink. At midnight the phone rang. The operator said, ‘Collect call to anyone from Billy,’ and I accepted.
“I disguised my voice like a broad’s for a few minutes, hung up, turned on the lights, put the television on loud, and flew back to California that night.
“Joe, I had the perfect alibi. They checked it out with the airlines, the hotel, the phone company. Everyone that knows me knows that I did it. Even the law knows. But go ahead, prove it. They can’t. Joe, if it happened to you, I know you’d do the same. I had to do it to save face.”
I poured this maniac another glass of wine and just kept my mouth shut.
Pasta Fagioli Appetizer Soup Veal Osso Buco
MIAMI BEACH, FLORIDA, 1977 JOHNNY IRISH’S APARTMENT
PEOPLE PRESENT:
Joe Dogs Dominick “Little Dom” Cataldo Johnny “Johnny Irish” Mattera (Colombo soldier) Tony Black (Colombo soldier) Marcia and Lu Anne (hookers)
It was a celebration. Johnny Irish, a hitter in the Colombo famiglia, had just gotten his button. He’d been made, indoctrinated, accepted as an official soldier, which is all that any of us ever wanted out of life. Little Dom was down from New York to congratulate him. He’d landed in Palm Beach, picked me up, and driven me to Johnny’s apartment in Miami. Johnny’s compare, Tony Black, was also there. There were a couple of South Beach hookers at Johnny’s place. One of them was named Marcia, and I immediately fell in love. So after examining Marcia in the bac
k bedroom, I decided to show off my culinary skills by whipping up an Italian feast fit for a newly made man.
Pasta Fagioli Appetizer Soup
3 tablespoons olive oil (extra-virgin or virgin preferred)
3 slices bacon, cut into 1/2-inch pieces
3 or 4 cloves garlic, crushed and chopped fine
1 (16-ounce) can small white beans (Great Northern)
1 (8-ounce) can tomato sauce plus 1H cans water
Salt and black pepper to taste
1 basil leaf
1/2 pound elbow macaroni, cooked and drained
1 cup freshly grated Parmesan cheese
Heat olive oil in medium saucepan and slowly sauté bacon and garlic until slightly browned. Add beans and sauté for 10 minutes, stirring occasionally. Add rest of ingredients except Parmesan cheese and simmer for 20 minutes. Mix cooked pasta into sauce. Discard basil leaf and serve while hot and soupy. Sprinkle Parmesan cheese over top after serving. Serves 6.
Veal Osso Buco
1 cup flour
Salt and pepper to taste
8 cross-cut veal shanks, VA inches thick
2 tablespoons corn oil
1 large white onion, chopped
4 cloves garlic, sliced paper-thin with single-edge razor blade
1 cup dry white wine
1 (28-ounce) can peeled tomatoes (Progresso Pomodori Pelati con Basilico preferred), drained and chopped
3 tablespoons tomato paste
3/4 cup canned brown gravy
1 teaspoon crushed dried oregano
2 bay leaves, chopped
1/4 teaspoon dried thyme
1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
1/2 teaspoon Tabasco sauce
1 teaspoon Accent (optional)
Mix flour with salt and pepper and dredge veal shanks in flour, shaking off excess. Heat corn oil in large frying pan. Sauté veal on both sides, approximately 4 to 5 minutes for each side, seasoning it as you turn it. Add onion and garlic and cook for another 3 to 4 minutes. Add wine and cook over a high flame for 3 to 4 minutes to burn alcohol off. Add tomatoes, tomato paste, and brown gravy. Stir and allow to boil. Add remaining ingredients. Place entire concoction in dutch oven or casserole dish, cover, and bake in preheated 350-degree oven for 2 hours 20 minutes. Remove veal shanks from mixture and cook sauce over high heat for 2 to 3 minutes. Pour sauce over veal shanks and serve. Serves 4,
After dinner my heart broke when Marcia went into the back bedroom with the man of the hour, Johnny Irish. But twenty minutes later, they were back in the dining room finishing their coffee. “Johnny must be like Superman in bed,” I said to Tony Black. “Faster than a speeding bullet.” Tony just smiled.
Savory Stuffed Artichokes Sicilian-Style, Breaded Sautéed Steak And Greens, Zabaglione
WEST PALM BEACH, FLORIDA, 1974 MY HOUSE
PEOPLE PRESENT:
Joe Dogs Bunny (Joe Dogs’ wife) Tommy Agro Sandi (T.A.’s girlfriend)
This one’s an oldie but goodie, and worth telling you about because it kind of says it all about the Mafia. I’d only been in Florida a year or two when a friend of mine named Louie Esposito introduced me to Tommy Agro, who was to become my mentor, my rabbi, my compare. T.A. was a squat, florid little man, standing five-foot-three on the tip of his toes. On this tiny frame he balanced a set of incongruously large shoulders, with a belly to match. He had a headful of straight black hair, combed back neatly, that must have looked beautiful on the horse it came off of. And though he wore elevator shoes to bring him closer to the sky, he was, still, always the last one to know it was raining.
I’d known T.A. about a month, and there was just something about him that made me want to be just like him. So one night I asked him over for dinner. It was me, Bunny, T.A., and one of his Florida girls, named Sandi, a black broad with the biggest set of knockers in the universe. Tommy liked knockers almost as much as he liked exotic broads. I rarely saw him with a white woman. It was always blacks, Asians, and even an Indian once or twice.
Anyway, I really knocked myself out trying to impress him. And I think my cooking on this night was really what smoothed my way into the Gambino crime family. We started with a delicious artichoke appetizer.
Savory Stuffed Artichokes Sicilian-Style
1/3 cup plus 4 teaspoons olive oil (extra-virgin or virgin preferred)
1 cup finely chopped onion 1 cup chopped fresh parsley
1 cup thinly sliced celery
1 large clove garlic, chopped fine
21/2 cups coarse fresh bread crumbs
1/2 cup freshly grated Parmesan cheese
1/8 teaspoon pepper
Salt to taste
1/2 teaspoon crushed dried oregano
2 tablespoons freshly grated Romano cheese
4 medium artichokes
Heat 1/3 cup of the oil in 10-inch frying pan. Add onion, parsley, celery, and garlic. Cook 5 to 7 minutes (until celery is almost tender). Remove from heat and stir in bread crumbs, Parmesan, pepper, salt, oregano, and Romano. Take each artichoke and cut off stem, leaving flat base. Wash in cold water and drain. Spread leaves, making sure there is space in center for stuffing. Divide stuffing into 4 portions. Spread leaves on one artichoke and spoon three-fourths of one portion of stuffing into space in center, leaving approximately one-fourth to spread between leaves. Repeat process with each artichoke until all the stuffing is used. Stand artichokes upright in large saucepan containing 1 to 11/2 inches of water and 1 teaspoon salt. Drizzle 1 teaspoon olive oil over top of each artichoke. Cover and cook for approximately 45 minutes, until tender. To check for tenderness, gently pull one artichoke leaf away. If leaf is removed easily, it’s done. Serves 4.
“Marrone, Joey, these are good,” T.A. said as he wolfed down the appetizer. I felt like a kid who’s just gotten a straight-A report card. “Now listen to me, Joey. If you know anyone who wants a loan, you know, they pay the juice every week, you let me know. But they have to be solid, you know what I mean? And you can earn off the money, too.”
I asked T.A. how much interest—or “juice,” as he called it—he charged.
“Joey, it’s all according to how much they want and what we can get without having problems. Capisci? Now, enough business. What’s for dinner?”
Breaded Sautéed Steak And Greens
4 eggs
3/4 cup olive oil (extra-virgin or virgin preferred)
2 tablespoons chopped garlic
Salt and pepper to taste
4 (12-ounce) strip steaks, 1/2 inch thick (trim excess fat)
1 cup flour
2 cups plain dry bread crumbs
Arugula, radicchio, and escarole leaves (enough to make bed for steaks), tossed in olive oil, vinegar (enough of both to coat greens), salt, and pepper
Beat eggs in mixing bowl. Add 1/2 cup olive oil, garlic, and dash of salt and pepper, and beat well. Dredge steaks in flour, shaking off excess. Dip steaks in, first, egg wash and then in bread crumbs. Sauté each steak on both sides in 1 tablespoon of remaining olive oil to desired doneness. Remove steaks. Placed tossed greens on individual plates and serve steaks on top to wilt greens. Serves 4.
“Tommy, I think I might know someone who needs a loan,” I said over dinner. “A guy asked me the other day if I knew a shy-lock. I told him no, not here in Florida. But I could tell him about you and you take it from there. I think he wants $5,000.”
“All right, Joey, now listen. If he mentions it to you again, tell him you know someone, but don’t tell him who it is. Tell him it’s five points a week. That’s $250 juice a week. But don’t tell him you know somebody. Wait until he asks you again. Believe me, Joey, he will. They all do. Now here’s my home phone number in New York. Call me if he wants a loan. But you can call me anyway, to say hello, if you want.”
I put Tommy’s phone number in my wallet, but then took it out again and rewrote the number in code. I wanted to impress him. I wanted to be just like him. I wanted to be in the Mafia next to Tommy Agro, and I was ga-ga over the fact tha
t I was doing something for him. T.A. had just become my idol, I thought, as Bunny cleared the table and I brought out dessert.
Zabaglione
PER PERSON:
2 egg yolks
2 teaspoons sugar
1/4 cup Marsala wine (or sherry)
Fresh fruit (strawberries or raspberries preferred)
Beat Marsala or sherry. Place mixture in large bowl and place over medium heat. Whisk constantly while cooking until texture is thick (being very, very careful not to curdle). Pour over fresh fruit.
After dinner Tommy and I retired to the living room while the girls did the dishes. T.A. thought it was time for a heart-to-heart.
“Joey, I want you to relax,” he began. “I know you’re trying to impress me, but don’t knock yourself out. I’m impressed with you. I’m impressed with your wife. I like the way you handle yourself. Now here’s what I want you to do. Find yourself some more customers. Expand yourself. Do things. And if you have any problems, call me. I’ll help you. But, on the other hand, if you do good, don’t forget me. Because I have my own compare, and I can’t forget him.
“In this life,” T.A. continued, “when you eat alone, you die alone. Remember what I’m telling you. You think you knew people before? Forget about them. You belong to an organization now that is the biggest. Joey, when you’re with me, there is no one in this ____ing world that can ____with you. Not even the Pope. But there is one thing that I noticed that is one of your biggest detriments. You bring your wife along with you all the time, wherever you go. You got to stop bringing her around so much, Joey. It just don’t look good.”
The Mafia Cookbook Page 3