by Amy Gamet
Then he heard her whimper.
He threw the covers back and went to the bathroom door. “Are you okay?”
She cleared her throat. “I’m fine.”
He walked back to his bed and sat on the edge, confused.
Was she upset about the attack in the restaurant? Sometimes he forgot regular people weren’t used to this shit. Of course she would be upset.
She came back to the room and climbed into her bed.
“I know how hard it is. You experienced quite a shock tonight,” he said.
“That’s not the problem.”
“Then what is it?”
She sighed heavily. “If you must know, I had my pump with me in my bag at the restaurant.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah. Oh.” She rolled over in her bed.
She’d said that was painful. “Is there anything else you can do?”
“I’m not having this conversation with you.”
“Why not? I’m only trying to help.”
“Because you don’t get to have it both ways, Matteo. You don’t get to turn me down and close the door on me and make me feel like day-old bread, then turn around and be my helper again. You don’t want me? Fine. Just leave me the hell alone.”
“You’re in pain. I hate to see you hurting.”
She sighed heavily. “Oh, for goodness’ sake, drop the saintly protector bullshit.”
“It’s not bullshit. I want to help you.”
“I hate to ruin your hero complex, but unless you have a hungry infant, there’s nothing you can do.”
Unless he used his mouth on those luscious tits of hers. His cock leaped to life.
Oh, fuck.
Hero complex. Screw her.
That’s the problem, remember?
He ran a hand through his hair. There had to be another way to help her, though the visual of his first idea was forever burned in his brain. He pulled out his phone and went to his browser. You could find anything on the Internet.
A quick search turned up a video, and he watched it with the sound turned off. A woman was using her hand to get milk out of her breast.
This was not helping his erection go down. “I found a video on YouTube that might help.”
“Let me see it.”
He handed her the phone. She watched for a few minutes, then went back to the bathroom.
It seemed like she was gone forever. Finally, he knocked on the door. “Any luck?”
“Go away.”
“Is it working?”
“Leave me alone.”
He walked back to his bed, but instead of lying down, he began to pace. After a few minutes, the bathroom door opened.
She handed him his phone.
“Did it work?”
“No.”
“Are you sure you’re doing it right? ’Cause it looked like you have to squeeze—”
“Shut up, Matteo.”
He closed his mouth and spread out on his bed. For half an hour he considered how far he was willing to go to help her, always returning to his inability to stop anything sexual with her once they started.
“It’s not like a faucet you can just turn on,” she said. “There’s an emotional component. When I’m pumping, I try to think of my son and usually that’s enough. But I’m so frustrated right now I can’t relax. I’m worried about him, and I’m embarrassed about earlier, and I’m stressed about people wanting to kill us, and I’m worried my boobs might explode before we get the hell out of here tomorrow.”
“You don’t have anything to be embarrassed about.”
“Right. I threw myself at you and you pushed me away.”
“Because I want you, not because I don’t.”
“God, please don’t lie to me, Matteo.”
“I’m not lying.”
“Of course you are. I’m fat from the pregnancy and my boobs are swollen and leaky and sore and disgusting. I’m covered in stretch marks. I’m not exactly pinup material, so let’s not pretend.”
“You’re beautiful.”
“Right.”
He moved to her bed, sitting on the edge beside her. “You’re curvy in all the right places, just like a woman should be. And those swollen, leaky breasts of yours are pretty amazing. They take care of your son, and I, for one, can’t stop staring at them.”
“You watch me in the mirror.”
“Yes. I can’t stop.”
“I like it when you watch me.”
His gaze dropped slowly down her neck to the open bodice of her shirt and lower, taking in her full breasts and remembering every curve and shadow. “Let me watch you now.”
This was dangerous territory. He was so aroused he worried his willpower wouldn’t be strong enough. He held out his hand and led the way to the shower, helping her step over the side.
“Take off your shirt,” he commanded.
She did as he asked. Her breasts were larger than their normal fullness and he longed to test their weight in his hands. His cock was hard and aching to be touched. “I want to watch you,” he said.
She squeezed the areola but she could have been squeezing his cock, so excited was he by the sight of her. Over and over again she repeated the motion, pulling her nipple to a point, but no milk came out.
She sighed heavily. “It’s not working.”
His hand lifted of its own accord and he touched her breast reverently. He was powerless to control his need for this woman, unable to resist temptation. “Can I try?”
“Yes.”
His hand moved around the globe of her breast, surprised by how hard it was, and heard her sharp intake of breath. He made his way to her nipple, his fingertips grazing the bumps and wrinkles on her areola, and began copying the motion he’d seen in the video, which was very similar to what she’d been doing already.
Almost immediately, a drop of milk appeared. He groaned.
“That’s it, don’t stop,” she said.
His hand kept massaging her. More drops, then a dribble coming out. He swore.
She was moaning like a woman in bed. He’d never heard her make these sounds before, sounds that stirred his own arousal. His hand was wet with her milk, sliding over her skin and squeezing with rhythmic pulses.
His eye caught on a bead of moisture on her other nipple. He bent his head to lick it, stopping himself at the last moment.
“Please…” she keened.
He hesitated. Was he already too far gone?
“I want you to. Please.”
He made a noise he didn’t recognize as he bent over her and took her in his mouth, lapping at her nipple with his tongue. Her milk was warm and sweet like juice. It was so wrong and so right, and his ambivalence heightened his desire.
“Take more of it in your mouth,” she said breathlessly.
He opened wider and she cried out. “That’s it.”
It was the sweetest nectar. So. Fucking. Good.
He knew when they got to this room tonight that he was powerless to control his reaction to this woman, and now he had unleashed the beast in himself that needed to possess her. There would be no substitutions for the real thing tonight.
He had to stop. He lifted his head, a smacking sound coming from his lips as the suction was broken between them. “You try,” he said.
“I want you—”
“I’ll watch you.” He wouldn’t have pulled his stare from what she was doing if their hotel room had been on fire. He never would have imagined the intimacy involved in what she was doing, how it turned him on and let him into a little world he never knew existed.
His hand pushed her knee away from its mate, and he settled himself between her legs. He took her mouth in a passionate kiss and his hips ground against hers, his erection rubbing against her mound. He braced himself above her and hovered on the brink of no return as she moaned with every shove of his hips as if he were already inside her.
His motions were more deliberate now, designed to please her body, and he listened to
her breathing alternate between pants and holding her breath. He was going to make her come just like this, with his hands and the pressure of his body on hers.
She was coming apart beneath him, lifting her hips off the bed to meet his thrusts as she pushed her head back against the pillow and called out. He could feel himself climbing, too, and he thrust harder and faster against her softness.
She wrapped her legs around his hips and the sound she was making changed.
“Come for me, Gracie. Just like that.”
Her mouth hung open as she cried out, the crest of her climax overtaking her. He had to be inside her now, had to feel her clenching around him, and he stripped off his pants and briefs.
But Grace had ideas of her own, and she rolled on top of him, holding his wrists above his head before letting go and making her way down his body with kisses. She wrapped her hands around his cock and took him in her mouth as a guttural cry came from deep in his chest.
Then she was sucking him, licking him with her tongue and taking him deep. He couldn’t take much more of this. Her hands came around his ass and held him to her as her fingernails dug into his buttocks.
She came up for air, panting. “Come in my mouth.”
That’s when he realized she was doing this for him, taking the choice of sleeping together out of the equation. Then her mouth was on him again and he let himself climb higher, thrusting deeply into her hot little mouth, her eager wetness pulling at him stroke after stroke until he cried out in his release.
She lapped softly at him, her tongue caressing his shaft as aftershocks racked his body.
When she curled up at his side, it was all he could do to lift his arm around her and gently rub her back. He kissed her hair, loving the heady scent of her on the air. “Thank you.”
She kissed his chest. “Thank you.”
He drifted off to sleep.
26
Matteo stabbed an egg with his fork, the yolk running across his plate in a bright yellow pool. “I used to steal things when I was younger. My mama worked nights and I got mixed up with some kids who made bad choices, so I decided I would be cool if I made bad choices, too.”
Grace took a sip of her coffee. “What kind of things did you steal?”
“Anything the older kids told me to. I stole a car when I was twelve and got caught. I didn’t drive so well. I walked the straight and narrow after that. We moved to a new neighborhood, and my mama started working while I was at school so she could keep tabs on me the rest of the time.”
“But they let you enlist in the military after stealing a car?”
“I had to get a waiver. I was a juvenile, but it was a felony. They could have turned me away.”
“And what would you have done instead?”
He laughed. “Let’s just say I was praying real hard to get in. The Navy gave me a good life. A better life than I knew how to get on my own.”
They’d ordered room service, and Matteo’s antibiotics had been delivered an hour before.
“I guess we should hit the road,” he said.
Grace was quiet on the drive home. She was happier than she could remember being in months, aside from the happiness she experienced around her son. But as a woman, as just herself, this was definitely the best she could remember feeling in a very long time.
She snuck a sideways glance at Matteo as he drove. How would the night they spent together affect their relationship going forward? She wasn’t foolish enough to think this meant he had feelings for her. Clearly, what they had experienced was mutual physical attraction. But she liked Matteo, and it just so happened he was married to her, at least for the time being.
Don’t go thinking of him like he’s actually your husband.
Yes, that was dangerous indeed. He was a paid employee. It would be good for her if she remembered that.
“You’re awfully quiet,” said Matteo.
“So are you.”
“Fair enough. I’ve been watching traffic to make sure we’re not being followed. You’re anxious to get back to the baby, I assume.”
“Oh, of course.” His comment reminded her of their sexual antics. She’d been so brazen. What must he think of her now? “I didn’t expect any of this to happen.”
“Neither did I.” He was quiet for a moment. “Are you sorry?”
“No. Are you?” She’d just had another man’s child. She wouldn’t blame him if he was.
He reached out and took her hand. “It doesn’t have to mean anything more than you want it to,” he said.
She shook her head. “These last weeks have been surreal in every way.” Now he was taking a step back, giving her the option of starting fresh when they got back.
Did she want to take it?
The idea left her feeling sad. For while she knew she shouldn’t pursue a relationship with Matteo, she knew she would miss him if she didn’t.
“I don’t know what I want,” she said. “I wish I could give you a more definitive answer.”
“As long as you don’t have any regrets, that’s good enough for me.”
Regrets.
This last year had left her with a few of them. She couldn’t completely wish away her relationship with Mason, as he had given her Nico. But so many of her choices had strained her already rocky relationship with her father.
“Where did you go?” asked Matteo.
“I was thinking about my father. We’ve always had our differences, but lately it seems like that’s all we have. When my mother was alive, she was the go-between, always making sure we found a way to get along, even work together. Since she passed away, we can’t seem to have a decent conversation without assuming the other one has terrible intentions.”
She looked down at her ring, still not used to seeing it on her finger, and twirled the gold against her skin. “She would be sad to see what things are like now. This is definitely not what she wanted for us.”
“If you don’t mind me saying so, it doesn’t seem to be what you want, either.”
“No. It’s not. In a perfect world, I wish I had a father I could talk to, who enjoyed my company and didn’t think I was a walking disaster. But I can’t control other people, and me wishing for it won’t ever make it happen.”
“What if I told you I thought he wished for the same things?”
“Are you his confidant now?”
“No, but he did share with me enough to make me realize he cares about you very much.”
Her eyes stung. Her father would never tell her himself that he cared for her, and it had been many years since her mother had done it for him. “Do you really think so?”
“You should talk to him. Life is short, Grace.”
“What about you? Do you get along with your parents?”
“It’s just me and my mom. But yes, we do. She’s only fifteen years older than me, so we have a different relationship than a lot of people do with their parents.”
“What about your father?”
“I never met him.”
“Just like Nico will never know his. You seem like you turned out okay.”
“If that’s a compliment, I’ll take it.”
“Do you feel like it hurt you not to have your dad in your life?”
“It’s hard to miss what you don’t know. It made me wonder if I could be a decent father when the time comes.”
“You’re wonderful with Nico.”
“I like him.” He laughed. “I never realized how much personality a baby can have.”
“He’s got personality, all right. I just hope I don’t screw him up too badly.”
“Life doesn’t always work out the way we want it to, but if you’re looking for the good in the world, it usually turns out okay.”
“Do you have a girlfriend?” The question was out of her mouth and hanging in the air before she had time to stop it. It was none of her business, yet she wanted to know badly.
“Not at the moment. I don’t do relationships so well. Cowboy—he’s th
e head of HERO Force and a good friend of mine—has been having a field day with me being married. It’s a running joke.”
That answer did more to stir her curiosity than satisfy it. “Why don’t you do relationships?”
“Never found anybody I wanted around that much.” He shrugged. “I date. I go out with women, but nothing serious.”
Grace thought those women might disagree. Matteo was a great guy and she could see it would be pretty easy to get attached to him.
Not that I’m getting attached.
This was different. Sure, they’d spent the night together, but that didn’t make up for the fact that he was here for the paycheck, not for her.
They were two consenting adults who just happened to have some great chemistry. And if it bothered her that he didn’t want to have sex with her, that was her problem.
27
Matteo called Cowboy as soon as he got back to the house, taking his cell phone into the backyard for privacy.
“Marriage counseling by Ramón, where we specialize in fictional spouses. How can I help you?”
Matteo couldn’t help but laugh. “You’re an asshole.”
“You love me.”
“Yeah. Listen, we’ve got trouble.” He told Cowboy about the explosion in the restaurant and exchanging bullets with someone in the alleyway. “We think an organization called Ten Komanda might be behind the terror attacks, and could possibly even be the shooter last night.”
“Logan got the lowdown on them from Interpol. They’re the real deal. Responsible for some nasty shit.”
“I need backup, Leo. If they’re really responsible, this is more than I can handle on my own. From what I hear, they’re as strong as we are.”
“I know. We’re already on our way. Somewhere around Reykjavik now.”
Matteo’s shoulders slumped with relief. “Thank God, man. I should have called you last night. I’ve got a bad feeling about this one.”
“We’ve got a chopper waiting in Moscow. Just hang tight and we’ll be there soon.”
“Who’s flying? Hawk?”
“Yeah.”
Matteo chuckled. “Godspeed, brother.”
“I know. Who would have thought this is how I’d go out?” He laughed. “No, I’m not talking about you, Trevor. Mind your own damn business. Geez. Everything else okay, Red? You didn’t get hurt too badly?”