by Jemma Bell
“Amy? Is that you?” I hear Pops call from the living room. Popping back up onto my feet I follow the sound of the TV and find Pops sitting with his feet up in his recliner chair, watching late night television. I don’t want to worry him, so I drape my dress on the back of a dining room chair. I find myself a spot on the couch and hug one of the throw pillows to my chest as Clyde makes himself comfortable on the floor between me and Pops.
“Hey, Pops, what are you watching?” Upon closer inspection, I notice the movie on the screen is Steel Magnolia’s. “A chick flick, Pops?” I ask, looking from the TV to his face. His cheeks turn a sweet shade of pink and he clears his throat twice before he answers my question.
“Um, yeah, I guess so. GG had turned it on before she went to bed and I guess I just got caught up in the drama.” Another throat clear. “I’ll see what else is on.” He lifts the remote to change the channel, but I stop him before he can.
“S’ok Pops, I like this movie. Leave it on, please.” I’ll just blame any more tears I shed on the sappy, sad movie. The snuffing of my nose gets his attention and he mute’s the sound on the TV.
“Alright, honey, I’ve got two questions for you.” Shifting in the chair so he can look me in the eyes he asks the first. “Why are you home so early and what happened to your dress?” He asks this last question with a chin nod in the direction of my ruined dress draped over the dining room chair.
“You don’t miss a thing, do you, Pops?”
“Amy, honey, I’ve known you your whole life. I’m an old man, but I’m not stupid.” The determined look in his eyes tells me he’s not going to let this one go. “You leave this house looking like a million bucks and come home looking like fifty cents. What happened?” He picks up the box of Kleenex and offers me a tissue. I need it as, my tears have started to fall yet again.
“Alright, Pops, I need to talk to someone anyway.” Pops listens as I recount the details of this horrible night. He gets irritated when I tell him about Derrick leaving me in the crowd when we arrived for the party, but he’s appeased when I tell him Layla stuck up for me. Like always.
“That girl has had a tough life, but she’s a loyal friend. I’m glad she has your back. You both are the most unlikely pair, but it works for you and it’s genuine.” Pops has always had a soft spot for Layla, I think her pedestal just got a bit higher in his opinion. The story continues and Pops listens. He has a blank expression on his face during my tale and as I finish with Mitzi spilling her drink down my dress and Layla taking me home, that’s when he chirps in.
“Mitzi feels threatened by you, honey. This was a perfect opportunity for her to make you appear insignificant.” Pops gets up and joins me on the couch, enclosing me in his strong arms, making me I feel safe and loved. He smells of coffee and fabric softener.
“Oh, Pops, I’ve never been so embarrassed in my life.”
“Amy, this one was bad, but we both know you are a super klutz and past instances have been worse.” That comment makes me giggle for the first time since coming home. He’s right. This isn’t the worst that’s ever happened. Pops rocks me in his arms until I stop sniffling.
“Amy, I know you feel Derrick abandoned you tonight and he did, to a point. You weren’t alone for the most part and had good friends to keep you company.”
“I know, Pops, it just hurts. I thought things would go so differently tonight.”
“Honey, this party was for Derrick’s job. He has to mingle with these people and kiss a fair amount of stuck up ass to solidify his career.” Pops isn’t telling me anything I don’t already know. “His industry is a tough one; popular one minute, inconsequential the next.”
“Derrick had a lot of asses to kiss tonight. He said he’d only be a half hour and was gone for over two. I should have just stayed home, Pops.” I say.
“Nah, like I said before, you looked like a million bucks when you walked out of here earlier. I’m sure some of those people were wondering who the beauty on Derrick’s arm was.” He kisses my forehead and limps back to his chair.
“Feet bothering you again?” I ask, indicating his slipper covered feet.
“Oh, you know, my corns are killing me as usual.” He toes off his slippers, sighing in relief. “Much better.” He exclaims. “So, I think aside from an evil agent, Derrick is a pretty fantastic guy who cares greatly for you. He was completing duties in his job description, and you were overlooked.”
“Sounds about right.” I agree with his assessment.
“I’m not saying you don’t deserve an apology from him. You also need to understand this probably won’t be the last time something like this happens. He’s a celebrity of a sort and the public always want a piece of them.” My Pops is a very wise man. He’s made me understand the responsibilities Derrick had this evening, so it lessens the hurt in that area, but Mitzi, that’s just plain nasty and unforgivable. I have to let all this marinate for a while. I’ve got a thousand and one thoughts running through my head at the moment. I know he’s probably texted me a few times already and he said he’ll call me later when he’s free, but I’m not ready to talk to him yet. This is something that needs to be done face to face. I’ll get a good night sleep tonight and go to his place tomorrow to talk things out.
“Thanks for listening to me, Pops.” I shoot him a sad smile and he returns it with a wink.
“I love you, honey. You deserve nothing but the best.” He kicks up the foot rest of his recliner and turns the volume up on the movie. That’s when it hits me and makes me laugh just a little. I spent my Friday night being ignored at a party, getting drenched in champagne, and ending with Pops’ corns and chick flicks.
*****
When I woke up this morning, I noticed I had about three voice messages and eight text messages, all from Derrick. They ranged from about midnight last night until four o’clock this morning. The messages started out sounding desperate to talk to me, to a little aggravated, and then more and more slurred and incoherent as the night wore on.
11:56 PM
Derrick: Amy, I’m finishing up here and I’ll call you in ten, ok?
12:03 AM
Derrick: Why didn’t you pick up? Talk to me, please.
12:40 AM
Derrick: I fucked up, I know!! I’m home now, can you come over so we can talk?
1:15 AM
Derrick: Amy, Riv and I are doing shots, want to shoin ush? Oh, Jim Beem and Jahnny Wakler are here too. LLO Wakler? I wunder if hes family.
1:42 AM
Derrick: I see 3 of everfing, I like to see 3 of you, we cood have a forsum. LLO.
2:19 AM
Derrick: Riv lefft me, he never cood hold his licker. FLMOA! ☺
3:00 AM
Derrick: Hey babby, I’m shiftfaced. Cum see me, be my notty libarian.
3:47 AM
Derrick: Gesh it not u at tha door. Babby caks, cum on, I misshue.
Wow! He’s miserable when he’s drunk. Who could be at his door at almost four o’clock in the morning? Was it just him hearing things or did he have a late night visitor? I hope he didn’t drink too much last night. He'd be nursing one hell of a hangover this morning if he did. I decide to stop at the bagel store and get him breakfast on my way over to his house. Some bread will be good to soak up some of the booze. A dozen bagels, a gallon of orange juice and a bottle of aspirin later and I’m on my way. I pull up to Derrick and Riven’s town house to see the Challenger parked crooked in the driveway. Please don’t let him have driven while under the influence. I park my car behind his and gather my things to bring inside. The front door is locked when I try to open it, so I ring the doorbell and knock. One of them is bound to hear me. I hear shuffling on the other side of the door and the jiggling of locks as they’re undone. I expect either a hung over Derrick or a sleepy Riven to open the door. My stomach drops out when I’m met with a blonde head and irritated blue eyes.
“Why are you here?” She sneers. My surprise knows no bounds. I take in her appearance and can
’t believe my eyes. Bare legs are leading up to the hem of one of Derricks t-shirts. She’s obviously not wearing a bra since her nipples are poking out of the fabric. Her hair was recently washed and brushed strait down her back, no makeup is also evidence of her recent shower. What the hell happened here last night? I’m speechless, my heart is breaking. Could she have taken advantage of Derrick while he was drunk or did he decide to forget about me by fucking Mitzi?
“I was asked to come over. What are you doing here? That’s the better question.” She plops her hand on her hip and gives me a dirty look.
“I’ve been here all night; Derrick needed me, so I came. I always come when Derrick calls.” Her expression tells me her “coming” has a specific meaning. Just as I’m about to say something back, Derrick comes tripping out of the bathroom. He’s shirtless and barefoot, his tuxedo pants are unbuttoned, and he’s got a toothbrush hanging out of his mouth. Mitzi looks from me to him and back to me again. She shoots me a victorious look and Derrick looks like he just swallowed his toothbrush when he sees me. His face is guilty and Mitzi’s smile says it all.
“Amy?” He slurs my name around the toothbrush and then yanks it out of his mouth. “Hey, sweets, when did you get here?” Oh, so he’s trying to play off this little scene as no big deal. Well, it’s a big freaking deal to me. I hold my hand up, stopping him from saying anything else. I notice the beaded bracelet on my wrist and puff out an unbelievable laugh. Dropping the bag of bagels and orange juice on Mitzi’s foot, I smile as she hops around, yelling and screaming at me. She calls me every nasty name she can think of, but I’m beyond caring at this point. My heart is shattered and I’m just numb. Derrick approaches the scene and I look at him with eyes on fire.
“Don’t you come any closer and I don’t want to hear your explanation.” Unhooking the bracelet, I let the beads slide off, cupping them in my hand. The first one I choose is the red bead “Passion” and hurl it at his face. It ricochets off his forehead and bounces along the hallway floor. “That one was because my passion has now become indifference, I have nothing but contempt for you.” Derrick rubs his forehead and opens his mouth to say something, but I interrupt him again by launching the gray colored bead at him. I nail him in the chest that time. “Loyalty? My dog is loyal. You, you’re a snake and dirty fucking rat!” The next is the yellow bead. “Happy? What a joke. You’ve made me nothing, but sad.” I think I’ve surprised the shit out of him and he has nothing to say. Good!! I can’t listen to his crap today. I launch the silver and pink beads at him together and they hit him in the eye and nose. Derrick rubs his eye with one hand and his nose with other yelling out “Ouch.” “Caring and Patience. You don’t care about me, you have no respect for me, and my patience with you, dealing with this bitch, has run out.” Mitzi quits her hopping around long enough to open her stupid mouth.
“You little geek,” she begins but is cut off by me threatening her.
“Say one more word to me and I swear I’ll strangle you with your stringy, bleached out hair. Congratulations, Mitzi, he’s all yours. You both deserve each other.” With those parting words, I turn around and run to my car. I can hear Derrick call my name and see him run out the door just in time to watch me peal out of the driveway and speed down the street. As I look in my rearview mirror, I can see him standing in the middle of the street with his hands wrapped around his head. Yeah, asshole, enjoy your choice. I hope the ice queen freezes your cheating dick off.
***Derrick***
There is no fucking way that just happened. It has to be a bad dream or a side effect from a night of too much drinking. The stinging on my face from where the beads hit me is the only thing keeping me from believing that crap. I stand in the middle of the street watching my heart drive away. I say my heart because she is or rather was. What a cluster fuck last night was and it just trickled into today. I’ve got some major explaining and groveling to do if she’ll ever speak to me again. She thinks I fucked Mitzi last night. I can’t blame her, that scene this morning did look rather suspicious. The details of last night are rather fuzzy to me, but I’m positive nothing happened between me and Mitzi.
I got home after the party and tried to call Amy a few times and sent her numerous texts to try and talk to her. I got no response. I acted like a dick and started doing shots of whiskey while I vainly waited for her to text or call me back. Riven did a few shots with me when he got home. That didn’t last long, though because he was still pissed at me. I got my hopes up when I heard someone knocking on the door and was disappointed when I opened it to a pissed off, Mitzi, as usual. My drunken fog just disregarded anything coming out of her mouth. She had a few shots with me and I think a while later I got sick. All I remember was red lace covered in my regurgitated liquor and Mitzi shrieking at me. I stumbled into the bathroom and proceeded to get sick some more and then passed out on the bathroom floor where I woke up this morning. My head was fucking pounding.
“What the fuck did you do?” Riven accuses me. I didn’t even hear him approach. I was too busy trying to remember last night’s details and watching Amy speed out of my life.
“What are you talking about, Riv?”
“Why is that bitch standing in our house in her underwear?” He thunders pointing at the door. “You have a great girl, someone who cares about you and you have to go and fuck it up. I should pound your stupid ass.”
“I’m still trying to figure shit out, Riv, Amy showed up and got the wrong idea.” My argument is weak, but it’s the simple truth.
“You are such an incredible idiot. I’d get the wrong idea if I walked in on that scene as well. She’s insecure enough, Derrick. What the hell is wrong with you?” I don’t think I’ve ever seen Riven this pissed at me. He has every right to be; so does Amy. The best I can do right now is explain things to my friend and hope he helps me make things right with her. We head back into the house and find Mitzi sitting at the kitchen table icing her foot and eating a bagel that my girlfriend thoughtfully brought over for me. Riven just rolls his eyes and stomps out of the room grumbling. I can’t blame the guy. Mitzi certainly didn’t help matters much.
“So the little nerd girl is gone?” She says rolling her eyes. “Finally! If I had to listen to her annoying voice for one more, minute, I think I would have cut my ears off.” She takes another bite of her bagel and with a mouthful continues. “At least she brought us some breakfast.”
“Mitzi, I’m still in shock from what just happened. I need to give her some time to calm down and then try and explain things to her.” My mind is going a mile a minute right now and if I don’t speak to Amy soon, I’m going to lose my shit.
“Why do you need to explain anything to her? Darling, she’s not worth the effort. With her out of the way, we can go back to how things used to be.” Mitzi says gazing at me from beneath her eye lashes. It’s a flirty look that used to get to me. That is before Amy fell into my life.
“Mitzi, things will never be like that again. I’m in love with her. Clumsy, awkward, nerdy bookworm that she is. I’m hooked. I don’t want anyone else.” She stops mid chew and looks at me unbelievably.
“Are you joking? Is it the booze talking? Because I know I did not just hear you say that.” She swallows and continues her tirade. “Derrick, she’s not good enough and will only cause you embarrassment.”
“Mitzi, I’m dead serious. I need to go take a shower and come up with some plan to make things right with my girl. You and I tried something before; it’s not going to work this time.” I thought she and I had an understanding of our relationship. Strictly professional.
“Darling, just leave things as they are; she’s the one that flipped out, got the wrong idea, and broke up with you. See? Her fault.”
“Yeah, well you answering the door in my shirt and your underwear didn’t help matters any. By the way, where are your clothes?” I snap. That is a good question. One I need an answer to. I can just imagine what Amy was thinking. I’m in such deep shit right now.
> “Ugh!! You don’t remember?” My answer is a head shake. “We did a few shots last night and you got sick. Most of it landed on my now destroyed, one of a kind, couture cocktail dress. So that you know, I’ll be taking the funds out of your paycheck to pay for it.”
“Fine, whatever, Mitz. Just finish your breakfast and get out of here. I’ve got some things to do. You know, as my agent, you’re supposed to help make my life easier, not fuck things up.” I’m all wound up and if she doesn’t leave, I might freak out on her. Make that will freak out on her. I can’t look at her right now. I need to sift through all these events and figure out if Mitzi is more at fault than what she eludes to. My guess would be yes, but I need to be sure.
“I’m serious, Derrick, just let it go.” She says.
“I know, but I can’t leave things as they are. I’ll see you later or something.” I rub my stinging nose and head upstairs to take a shower and formulate a plan to make things right with Amy. I have to make her believe me; nothing happened last night between me and Mitzi. Now if I could just get her to understand and listen, I might have a chance of winning her back. Think Derrick, think. Ugh!! Right now, I’ve got nothing.
Chapter #14
Nerd Girl Problem #114
Pity Party: Table for one, please.
I manage to make it a few blocks from Derrick’s house before I have to pull over. The tears are streaming down my face, making it difficult to see the road. Pulling off to the side, I park my car and proceed to have my break down. I put on a good show at Derricks, pretending to be brave, while letting him hear my wrath. Deep down, my heart was shattering and my nerves were tighter than a telephone wire. I know it was just the adrenaline pumping through my system that made it possible for me to defend my honor. Mitzi should be happy now, she got what she wanted. Namely Derrick. How could I have been so stupid? This is real life, not some idiotic fairy tale where the dreams come true. I’ve escaped out of the land of delusion, finally. It’s almost laughable; the nerd and the hunk. It was never going to happen.