“Dad said he didn’t want me back here and it never occurred to me to defy him. I could have just hopped on a plane and shown up at the back door. Why didn’t I?”
“Because he convinced you that you weren’t wanted.”
“No, I th-think . . . This is hard to say. . . .” She twisted her fingers together in front of her and forced the words out in a rush. “I think it was because I was so hurt over you getting married.”
“But I didn’t. How could I—”
“No, let me finish.” She held up a staying hand and looked at him, hoping he’d listen and be willing to talk honestly. “You said to me once that I never came back, not even to see an old friend, but that goes two ways, Cart. You never came to find me, either. I admit I had some . . . notions about you back then, and when Dad said you were taken it hurt. Then Dad added that he couldn’t afford a partner and that hurt. Then I applied for a job and got a good one, and they wanted me to start immediately after graduation. I should have come back—at least for holidays. But I really felt unwanted and unneeded here, and I never got so much as a phone call from you asking how I was doing. So it wasn’t just me.”
Cart came up and put both hands on her shoulders. “You’re right. And now I’m going to admit the same thing you did. When your dad said you weren’t coming back I was hurt. We’d never had a true romance, but you were one of my best friends and I had some notions about you, too. I didn’t want to hold you here when you needed to go to college, and I thought we had our whole lives to discover what there was between us.”
“And then I didn’t come home.”
“I felt like the discovery was made—by you—that you wanted a different life. I thought when you didn’t come home I had your answer.”
“And you weren’t interested enough to come and find me.”
“You know what? You’re right.” Cart pulled her toward him. “I did fail you. I let you go without a fight.”
“You said something about another woman. What did you mean?”
Those words sent him backing up. His hands off her. Every move a rejection.
“I was just mad. I didn’t mean anything.”
Mandy looked at him, her eyes steady on his. “Haven’t we done this long enough? Haven’t we been less than honest with each other and denied any feelings for each other long enough? How about some truth? How about all the truth?”
He opened his mouth and a buzzer went off.
And as he looked at the oven, his expression seemed eager, as if he was glad for the excuse to not talk. He headed toward the oven and swung down the door.
“The last pans of coffee cake are done.”
Mandy wondered if they were done, too.
Chapter Ten
Cart couldn’t let the coffee cake burn now, could he?
And yeah, it helped not to look her in the eye while he was acting like a girl sharing his feelings.
“I was . . . um . . . seeing a woman who came to Heywood to teach school.” Cart had helped in the kitchen a lot over the years. He didn’t mind being told what to do and he’d learned a few things. He tapped the browned top of the cake with his index finger, thoroughly scrubbed, and decided it was done to perfection.
He might demand a chef’s hat and a raise.
“That’s who Dad meant when he said you were involved with someone?”
Great, she had follow-up questions. “No, because I didn’t start seeing her until about a year and a half after you took the job in LA.”
He set the cake out on the butcher-block table with a loud clatter and turned to glare at her. “I thought all through those eighteen months that you would come back. You’d try city life and realize you missed the inn, and me. At least you’d come home for a visit and I could see you, talk to you about your new life and how it was going.”
“I wasn’t likely to come back for you when I thought you were married.” Mandy sliced the cake and jerked her fingers back and stuck her little finger in her mouth.
“Be careful. You know these are hot.” Cart kept busy unloading the oven. When he’d pulled the third pan out, he got a hold of himself enough to say calmly, “I started dating Tara just after Christmastime the second year you didn’t come home.”
Because he had given up on Mandy. He could see that now, but at the time he just thought he was lonely, and he’d met a nice woman. So he’d been wrong all the way around. He’d treated Mandy wrong by not going after her. He’d treated Tara wrong by using her as a substitute for the woman he really wanted.
But then Tara had treated him wrong, too. Or rather, her feelings had gone no deeper than his.
“I thought Tara cared about me, but she cared about getting out of Heywood more. We’d been seeing each other about five months and she just wanted someone to date until she finished the school year—her first year teaching. She came in all excited one day, here while I was working, and told me she’d gotten a job in a big school in Seattle. She was practically buzzing. She’d never even mentioned applying for other jobs.”
Maybe Tara had been able to tell that he didn’t really have a whole heart to give.
“A woman who wanted the city life?” Mandy asked. She didn’t add “like me,” but Cart heard it.
She focused on the cake just like he’d been doing. She ran her knife around to loosen the edges, then picked up a decorator tube of Angel’s delicious cream cheese frosting and drizzled it over each piece in the shape of a star.
Cart wasn’t the only one in this kitchen who was lousy at talking about feelings. Which might be why they were in this mess. If he’d just kept in touch with her at school, she’d’ve known he wasn’t seeing anyone. But he waited to see her when she came home. He thought social media was a waste of time. He didn’t like phoning and his fingers were just plain too fat to text.
She had skinny fingers, though. What was her excuse?
“She knew I couldn’t just abandon my ranch.” Cart leaned against the kitchen counter with his arms crossed, watching Mandy as she worked. “Tara’d been out to my place plenty of times in those five months. We’d talked about what I was trying to build out there. She knew I worked here at the inn because I loved the building and because your dad and Angel were like family to me, not because I needed the money. I realized after we broke up that I’d talked about myself a lot, and so had she, but she didn’t talk about what she wanted in the future. Maybe that’s because I’m a self-centered jerk. I can’t remember ever asking about her dreams and goals, probably because I wasn’t anywhere near ready to talk about a future between the two of us and I didn’t want to start that. But she never offered, either, and I gave her plenty of turns talking. I knew all about her students and the joys and struggles of teaching. I’d heard all about her little sisters and the teacher she was sharing an apartment with. I knew all the quirks of her old car and I’d listened to a lot of stories from her college years. But I’d never heard a word from her that said she didn’t have any interest in staying in Heywood. She never mentioned it because she’d never been serious about me.”
“And you think I’m just like her?”
A question that struck him as strange. “Are you? Do you still plan on closing down this inn?”
Mandy was quiet for too long. “That was the plan. Close the inn, sell the inn, return to LA.”
“And you’re not questioning it now?”
“I am questioning it. “
“But you said you were closing December thirty-first.”
“I did say that. But I was upset with everything. I was upset with you. Then I realized I was making a lot of decisions based on my hurt feelings. When I should be rationally thinking what I want out of life.”
Mandy turned finally and looked him square in the eye. “I want this life, Cart. I want to make a cozy nest for visitors.” He saw her swallow so hard he could hear a gulp. “I want a home again. And I want you.”
It was then he did some serious waking up. He’d forced her to say it first. He’d sn
apped at her and acted like a wounded grizzly bear—well, he’d been mighty nice a couple of times—and then, tough guy that he was, when it came time to admit what they really wanted . . . he’d chickened out and left the part that took all the guts to the pretty woman.
The part where a person put their heart right on the line and risked it being smashed.
Well, he might be going second, but he could be a close second. “I want you, too, Mandy. I’ve growled around about you not staying, and I’ve tossed around reasons why you should stay. But I haven’t admitted the one that really matters. I want you to stay. I want us to be together. Mandy, I love you. I’ve always loved you.”
He lowered his head until their lips touched. Only their lips. He held himself in check, wanting to make sure she was willing.
She hesitated. He heard her breath catch. Yes, he’d kissed her already, but those had been stolen kisses, of the moment, without either of them giving thought to what it all meant.
Not this time. This time they knew it was a kiss that started something. And her hesitation scared him right down to the steel toes of his Red Wings.
When she hadn’t come home before it’d almost killed him, but he’d survived. This time, he didn’t think he could recover.
Then slowly, an inch at a time, her arms slipped up and around Cart’s neck. It was all the encouragement he needed. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close, turning his head to deepen the kiss, holding on tight. And not just for now, forever.
Chapter Eleven
“You didn’t let the coffee cake burn, did you?”
Mandy jerked back and whirled to face Angel, who watched them with a smile as big and bright as the Star of the East.
Cart’s arm came around Mandy’s waist and snugged her up against him. He didn’t pretend they weren’t doing exactly what they were doing.
Instead he said, “I think I’ve convinced Mandy to stay. I kissed her until she was putty in my hands.”
Shocked, she whipped her head around, and he smiled so wide a dimple popped at the corner of his mouth. His other arm came around her and he hoisted her right off the floor and swung her around in a circle. It was the same way he’d said hello.
And that smile! She hadn’t seen it since that moment when she’d walked in the door.
That first day, for one perfect moment, he’d been honestly and fully delighted to see her and he’d given her this smile. The one she remembered from when they were kids.
And then she’d talked about closing the inn and even though he’d smiled since then, even had fun with her, he’d never been fully happy.
She laughed and flung her arms around his neck.
Angel clapped her hands. “Are you really staying, Mandy? I have missed you so much.”
She flew at Mandy, her arms spread wide in her long, brightly colored shirt. It was like a Christmasy peacock swooping down on her. And then Mandy was in Angel’s arms. Held tight.
Cart’s arms came around them both. In his arms Mandy felt happiness, comfort, support and love. Most of all love
He kissed her on top of the head and the warmth swept all the way to her toes.
“And now, I’m going to take one of these pans of coffee cake and head over to my daughter’s house and give you two youngsters a chance to talk.”
Angel was gone so fast Mandy didn’t have time to offer to help.
Or to insist Angel didn’t need to leave.
Mandy feared there’d have been no conviction in her voice when she said it, because she really wanted time alone with Cart.
And a lifetime with him, too. Which reminded her, “I didn’t say it, because I didn’t get a chance, but I love you, too, Anthony Carter. I love you with all my heart.”
He bent and kissed her again. When he lifted his head, he said, “I’ve had an image of you and me for years; come here.”
He wrapped one arm around her waist and swept her out of the kitchen, through the dining room, across the foyer and into the parlor, which glowed with the embers of a waning fire and the bright twinkle lights of the Christmas tree. The room was over-decorated, in the best Victorian style, and there were ornaments and wall hangings, shining displays and precious Nativity sets, something on every surface.
It was the most beautiful room in the house. Cart stopped square in front of the fire, the Christmas tree right beside them, and turned her to face him.
He took both her hands and held them to his chest. “I’ve imagined you here.”
She brushed her fingertips through his thick, soft hair. “I know now that the real reason I never came home was because Dad said you were married. I just couldn’t stand to see you with someone else. And that was all buried under Dad not wanting me here. But that’s why I put up with it. Because it hurt too much to come home and see for myself. I think I’ve loved you all my life.”
“How would you like to hold a New Year’s Eve wedding right here at the Star? Right in front of this fireplace, with the tree lit up and the memories of all that your parents built surrounding us. Right in the same spot I proposed to you.”
The smile couldn’t be contained. “Is that what you’re doing?”
“I most certainly am.” Cart dropped to one knee, holding both her hands, and kissed her fingertips, slowly, for long moments.
Finally he raised his head and his eyes met hers. “Mandy Star, whatever your father did, I do know he loved you. And I know he wanted you to be happy. And if you will do me the great honor of being my wife, I will spend my life making sure you know how deeply and completely you are loved. Will you marry me and make me the happiest man who ever lived?”
She pulled her hands away from his and rested them on both sides of his face. Tilting his head up, him looking like a man begging, she leaned down and kissed him. She eased away just enough to speak. “Marrying you would be the answer to a thousand prayers. The answer to my most heartfelt dreams. I love you. Yes, I’ll marry you.”
She gave him a smile that got him to his feet. Looking up into his perfect blue eyes, she loved how much her life was about to change.
His smile dimmed a bit, not to sadness but to serious concerns. “You know I live out at the ranch. Will you be all right with just coming in here to run things?”
She smiled and kissed him again.
“It will give me just enough space from work that it will be perfect.”
“I heard Lorrie complaining about her apartment out by the high school. I know she’s not happy there, lots of noise and traffic day and night. She and her husband are newlyweds and aren’t settled there for long. You could see if she’d move into your rooms; then Angel wouldn’t have to handle late-night emergencies single-handedly.”
Nodding, Mandy said, “If she wants to live here that’ll be perfect. If not, we’ll figure out what we need to do all in good time, but it won’t stop me from moving out to the ranch.”
“We can decide all these details later. For right now, let me hold you in the lights and warmth.” His arms came around her and pulled her close, holding on to his future with both hands. “I had gotten used to the loneliness until it was almost an old friend—it was all I had left of you. But you in my arms is the best Christmas present of my life.”
She lifted on her toes and touched her lips to his.
The room was beautiful, but she only realized now that her true home wasn’t this inn; it was in his arms.
When the kiss ended, he drew her down to the Victorian love seat and sat with his arm around her as they watched the fire and talked of the future, planning, laughing, loving.
And through it all, he held her tight.
Epilogue
It was a wedding that the town of Heywood would remember for years. The majestic old Star Inn was opened up for the whole town.
The day was decent enough that the crowd could spill over into the town square. Mandy and Cart didn’t get married in front of the fireplace; instead she decided to marry him outside on the front porch so everyone coul
d be there. They got married just before sunset, which was the middle of the afternoon this time of year.
She wore a white coat with a fur collar and Cart wore his only suit and his best Tony Lama boots.
The pastor of the church she and Cart had grown up in stood on the ground while Mandy and the love of her life stood up on the steps, looking out over the people she’d known all her life and missed so badly.
When Cart slipped the wedding ring on her finger, just above the engagement ring she’d only been wearing for five days, and kissed her hand right where the rings rested, she couldn’t contain the smile or the tears.
She put a ring on him just as surely and he smiled. They were both thrilled to be making this commitment to each other.
Once the vows were spoken, the town folks cheered and were all invited inside.
There was a meal spread out on the dining room table and hundreds of people trooped through to have a bit of cake or a plate of sandwiches and salads. Angel had outdone herself and Mandy had worked hard at her side.
The town’s only bakery had managed a beautiful cake and the people at the café around the corner from the inn had pitched in to make sure there was food for everyone. Some folks milled around inside: others wished Mandy and Cart well and headed home. There were folks in the gazebo and sitting on the porch.
Inside in the warmth Mandy had taken off her coat and stood in the tea-length white velvet dress she’d found in the town’s single dress shop. She and Cart stood in the foyer and shook hands and smiled. It wasn’t just a wonderful wedding; it was a wonderful welcome home.
The evening wore on and the party only got livelier. Soon enough midnight was upon them all. When Mandy heard the yells of “Happy New Year!” she let Cart pull her close and kiss away years of loneliness and pain for the last time.
Someone managed some fireworks in the park and, for a while, the festivities whirled around boisterously. But finally everyone went home.
Mandy and Cart would spend the night at the inn and settle into his ranch house tomorrow.
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