by Myne Whitman
She whispered his name like a plea and shifted forward. He filled the space between her thighs as if they were made for him. The loneliness lying like a piece of hard ice in her heart thawed then, and their lips met and clung together.
It started lightly, but the kiss became hot in an instant, and then hungry and desperate. The hurts of the past disappeared; the only thing that mattered in that moment was the heat of arousal.
He pressed her against the settee and lowered his body next to hers. She lifted her face again to his, and her eyes looked at him with a mixture of desire and passion. She caught his head in her hands and pulled his mouth to hers.
He came like a magnet, and they both shook as their tongues dueled. Efe had never experienced anything as exciting as Kevwe’s kiss, and forgotten sensations swept over her as his lips continued to move on hers. Soon they parted for breath, and he smiled at her.
“My heart is dancing Atilogu again,” the whisper caressed her.
Sweet memories enveloped Efe as she pushed Kevwe’s jacket aside and fumbled with the buttons of his shirt. The lights in the apartment were dim, and the hum of the air conditioner covered them like a blanket. Once she had the top three open, she ran her open palm against his chest, over his shoulder and down his muscular back. She loved the feel of him. She loved the texture of his tongue playing with hers and the warmth of his skin against her hands.
She couldn’t believe Kevwe was here with her, her lover, and pinched herself to be sure it was real. She smiled at the pain, closed her eyes and savored his groans, the pressure of his lips on her and the way his tongue flicked pleasure deep within her.
Kevwe lifted himself enough to fling off the jacket and pull his shirt out of the jeans. When he lowered himself, she quivered to his touch, the erect nipples under her bodice warming him.
His hands wandered over her, over the curve of her belly to her hips, claiming her and making her his, like he had always planned. She moaned and sat up, pressing him onto his back and pulling her hair loose from its bun till the weaves swirled around him. Leaning forward, she swung her hair back and forth, sliding the soft, silky strands over his chest. Heart pounding, loving the feel of it, Kevwe buried his hands to her scalp.
Efe moved onto him, kissed him, her tongue making its way around his lips and into his mouth, playing hide-and-seek with his. She bit him, small nips on his neck, ears and shoulders. He groaned, his hands now moving everywhere over her, and wherever they touched, her skin became even more sensitive. Holding her ribs, he eased her over his head, kissing circles around her nipples. She arched her back, murmuring his name over and over as long forgotten feelings swamped her.
When he slid down her torso, the air from the air-conditioner chilled her skin, making her feel vulnerable. She pulled him up, and their lips meshed again. She moved away after a while, but only to run her fingers over the scars on his face. She caressed them like a prayer, kissing the pulse throbbing along his jaw.
“Is this what you want?” he whispered.
Efe paused. Did she want this? Her mind warned caution, but all parts of her body screamed yes. Want unfurled in her belly, and heat raced over her skin.
She got to her feet, “Let’s go into the bedroom.”
Kevwe lost all his clothes on the way to the bedroom, but Efe still had on her bra and panties when he pushed her down onto the sheets and covered her with his lean frame. His lips caught hers again in a kiss so deep, it swept away whatever remained of her senses.
He stroked his tongue slow and deep into her mouth till she reciprocated. Before long she was aroused to fever pitch again. They broke apart, their breath ragged. His glittering eyes pierced her to the bed as his large hands moved to her hips.
He’d never felt like this before, had dreamt and waited but thought this day would never come. Now it was here, and he was with Efe, he didn’t want it to end. Kevwe removed the scrap of lace that was her underwear, inch by slow inch. She laid still, her long legs shifting restlessly against his as the red thong slid along them.
He sat up to admire her beauty. She was without compare in his eyes. Her long dark hair framed her heart-shaped face and cupid-bow lips with the lashes of her closed eyes lying against her high cheekbones. He looked lower to the pouting globes of her breasts. The cups of her front clasp bra pushed their swell out to him.
As his lips settled on her, Efe gave in the pleasure of it all - their naked arms and legs tangling in wild passion. The feel of his fingers on her face, her breasts, her stomach, her thighs, between her legs, drove her crazy. No one else had touched her like this, and the look on his face melted her in ways she never imagined.
“Kevwe, please.”
Never had she been looked at with such passion, almost awe. Her breathing turned choppy till she gasped for air and release.
She clung to him, twisting against the now rumpled sheets. He felt the wet tears against her cheek, but he didn’t know if they were his or hers or both. They became one as he slid into her, and he had a short moment where he thought he would faint or come immediately. He paused to get his breath, and then began to move. She caught up with the rhythm, and then they hurtled without stop.
Her release came first. He hung on to her with a moan and then let go. She came again with his orgasm, and as her inner muscles worked on him, he collapsed against her. It had been a long time, and his heart pumped in tune with his protracted release. When he came to, she clung to him sobbing and kissed his damp chest.
He gathered her into his arms, stroking her hair behind her ears and whispering soft words. She stopped crying but lay close to him as her breath gentled and evened. It felt wonderful lying beside her, while she slept like a baby, so trusting and open. His chest expanded as his heart swelled with love, this had always been his dream. Kevwe stared at her till the arms of sleep enveloped him too.
**
10
Abuja, November 28, 2009. 5.45am
When Efe woke, reality slammed her in the face. The familiar nightmare had stalked her sleep, and she wiped off the tears staining her cheeks. Dawn was breaking outside her curtains, but her heart was trapped in the darkness of the past.
Kevwe lay beside her, and they were both naked on top of the duvet. He would leave her again, she knew it. She also knew who to blame for what happened, and it wasn’t him. He’d asked, and she’d walked into her seduction with open eyes.
When he turned in his sleep and placed a heavy hand across her stomach, Efe flinched and jerked away. She felt clammy and crawled under the cover of the duvet.
Kevwe woke up with the air conditioner blowing against his skin. He shifted with a groan, but when he tried to join Efe under the duvet, she moved away, hugging it close to her breasts. He cracked open one eye and looked at her unwelcoming back. He stretched out a hand, but she shrugged it off her shoulder.
“Don’t touch me!”
Kevwe sat up in confusion. After last night, this wasn’t what he expected. He turned her towards him, peering into her face. “What’s wrong?”
“What have we done?” Efe whispered.
“How do you mean?” Kevwe frowned. He felt cold, and it wasn’t just physical. He knew he would not like what was about to happen and shored up his heart in preparation.
“What have I done,” Efe repeated to herself.
She felt ashamed. What had she been thinking? The problem was she’d not thought at all last night. She’d gone ahead to tumble straight into bed with him on the first day, even though they had so many things they had yet to discuss. There had certainly been an accident, his scars were enough proof. But when had it occurred? Before or after Ovie had seen him with another woman? She’d forgotten that detail last night, but not again.
“Excuse me,” Kevwe muttered. He needed to use the toilet and could see a door that looked as if it led to an adjoining bathroom. He got out of the bed without thinking, but when he turned to look at her, his heart sank at what he saw. He felt he’d been measured and found wanting
, and self-consciously tried to camouflage his limp.
In the bathroom, he leaned against the wall, and wondered what had gone wrong. When he entered the room, Efe was dressed in jeans and a long sleeved sweater. He picked his jeans off the floor near the door and stepped into them before walking into the living room, picking up his clothes as he went.
She followed, with arms wrapped around her like a shield. There was no doubt about it; it was clear to him she regretted last night. Perhaps they shouldn’t have made love before thrashing out their past issues. Sitting on the settee where it had all started last night, he put on his shirt. Efe sank into the chair opposite, looking anywhere but at him.
Efe was so conflicted she didn’t know where to start. How was she to know how he truly felt about her? Did he have any plans for them beyond having sex? What had actually happened? Could she trust him after seven years apart? And would his parents accept their relationship this time around?
Kevwe cleared his throat before speaking and her gaze flashed to his immediately. Could they do this some other time, he wanted to ask. Her defensiveness rubbed off on him, and it wouldn’t help the coming conversation in any way.
“Hmm-m, I am willing to enter the future with an open mind, but I can see you’re not.”
Her hopes deflated like a pricked balloon, but she sat straight. If this was his spiel, then she would give as well as she got. “Your parents never liked me, so let’s just forget it.”
He fixed her with an unflinching gaze, stung by her flippant words. “It’s because you didn’t go through the torture I did, that’s why you can speak so.”
The accusation was powerful for its quiet tone, and Efe spoke with no less force. “It took me some good years of my life to get over you too, and they weren’t easy years either.” Her tone was a challenge; Efe wouldn’t allow him to see the truth that lay within her crumbled heart.
“Are you saying you’re over me? The love you once declared is dead?” Kevwe closed his eyes, afraid of her reply.
The clock ticked in the loud silence, the only noise in the room. He finally raised his head, searching the small room for an anchor. Efe said nothing. If she meant to hurt him, she had succeeded.
“What happened between last night and today?” he asked.
Sleeping with him last night was her mistake, and she would not allow it to be held over her head. She stood and turned her back to Kevwe. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
He moved to stand behind her, and gripped her arms, his voice intense. “But I do. I want to know why we had sex. What was the purpose of it?”
Efe spun to face him. “Don’t tell me you didn’t want it too? You wanted to show me how much you missed me. Well, I missed you too!”
Kevwe was mad she had forgotten everything he said last night, and he wanted to hurt her too. He’d bared his heart and thought they were on the same page. To find out it was temporary and less meaningful for her… he shook his head. “Missed me, or just a warm body in your bed? Tell me something before I go. Are you engaged to that guy – what’s his name?”
Efe frowned. Kevwe picked up his jacket and rifled through the pockets. He held out a business card when he got to her, and she took it from between his fingers.
“Stanley Adetiba, the operations manager at Sheraton Lagos. He called you yesterday.”
She looked at the card, and it was Stanley’s. “What?” Efe spluttered, but he cut her off before she could find her thoughts.
“Don’t deny it, I was in his office. He told you to book a room, and that he would visit you this weekend.”
Was he having her monitored? Efe felt hot and cold all over. She couldn’t believe this. How did Kevwe know about Stanley?
“At least he wasn’t sleeping over here at your place,” Kevwe sneered. “Should read some kind of meaning into that?”
“Read whatever you like into it!” Efe shook off the muddled thoughts, her hands going to her hips.
“And if I say you’re a two-timer?”
She almost slapped him, but took a deep breath instead. She didn’t know what his intention was, but she liked the anger it sparked in her. It masked the pain. She stomped to the door and stood, feet tapping against the carpeted floor. “I want you to leave… now!”
Kevwe scowled but stood at the same spot. It was funny how after going round in circles, they had come to the same point as when he arrived yesterday, where they could neither walk away from each other, nor find a way forward.
Efe paced in front of the door, the gravity of the situation hitting her. So this was what Kevwe’s visit had been all about, some macho kind of competition about who would get her. Had he planned to seduce her, so he could sleep over and prevent her from meeting Stanley? It just boggled the mind, Kevwe and Stanley in the same mental image.
Efe faced him, arms gesturing at her bedroom. “Did you plan all this because of Stanley?”
Kevwe replied with a sniff. “Don’t be facetious. I already knew since last week you were here in Abuja.”
“And don’t you dare patronize me!” Efe snapped. By now, they were nose to nose. It dawned on Efe how virtually everything about their lives in the past seven years had been left unsaid. “Where do you live now? Lagos, Benin? Tell me, did you plan to come and confront me since then or just yesterday?”
Kevwe remained silent.
“Answer my question! Did you?”
He moved towards the door but she was closer. She got there first and leaned against it.
“So you hear I may be engaged, and as first fiancé, you came to get yours, right? You spoke to Stanley yesterday morning, and by evening, you were here in Abuja!”
Now he thought about it, it looked awful. He hadn’t set out to come and seduce her because she was engaged, that had just happened. When he had booked the late ticket to Abuja, there had been no solid plan. He had just wanted to see her, and talk to her. Now, he also knew he had not wanted to take the chance she would marry someone else if there were any feelings left between them. But he wouldn’t tell her that in her present mood.
“Get out of my way, Efe,” he said quietly.
“You want to leave? Then go. Go away!” She turned and fumbled with the keys before pulling the door open. “And if you don’t have a life, get one, and stay out of mine!”
Kevwe heard the tears in her voice, and when she wouldn’t look at him throughout the tirade, he knew she was crying. Just like in the past, his reawakened heart couldn’t bear it. He wanted to do something to make her smile, but since it wasn’t possible now, he slung his jacket over his shoulder and left the room.
Efe slumped into one of the chairs and gave in to the sobs. Kevwe may have looked the same, but he’d changed. He’d walked away from her. How could he leave her when yesterday she had to ask to be let go. And he’d called her a two-timer, when they’d just had sex last night. She blamed herself for falling so easily back into his arms. Her hopes of building something solid between them disappeared, he’d got what he came for, and that was it.
**
11
Abuja. November 28, 2009.
The rest of the day passed for Efe in a blur of mixed emotions and recollections. She got ready for work like an automaton, performing all her duties in a similar manner when she got to the office. Scenes from her past with Kevwe, and the conversation they’d had earlier that day flashed past her consciousness at intervals.
Confusion and depression clawed her in opposite directions, but she refused to give in to either. When ripples of remembered pleasure whispered over her skin in unguarded moments, Efe tamped them down and went back to her file-laden desk. Work would keep the demons at bay, and it would all soon be over if she could get past this day.
However, when she got home that evening, she couldn’t hold it in anymore. She slumped to the floor just inside the door and lay there curled up into herself, her hands sunk into her hair. She didn’t know what to do now. How could she start to get over Kevwe again?
The dream she’d built in the states just before returning, of the fun single life she would have when she returned to Nigeria, was shattered. Abuja had lost its appeal, and if he lived in Lagos, that was out too. The portent of the frequent nightmares was clear now.
She jumped when her phone rang. She’d deliberately not taken it to work, and left it on the center table. Her stomach constricted as all saliva drained from her mouth. She licked dry lips and bent to pick it. If it were Kevwe, she would give him a goodly piece of her mind. Or she would just hang up on him.
“Efe, good evening,” Nneka chirruped. “How did Hilton treat you today? You didn’t call me yesterday, so I decided to call and ask for the full gist of what happened with the doctor, Kevwe’s brother…”
Efe felt her eyes cloud and swiped at her eyes and nose. She swallowed, and her mouth opened and then shut again.
“You know, if Mohammed won’t go to the mountain…”
As her friend’s cheerful voice continued, Efe felt herself become light-headed as all her feelings peaked in raw sadness.
“Efe, are you there? What’s wrong?” Nneka asked with concern.
Stars popped in her vision, and merged into blinding brightness. She felt the dam in her head break and the memories she’d been keeping at bay consumed her. Efe tried to hold them, but instead she burst into noisy tears.
The agony drove her to the ground, and she wept like she never had before, not even during or after the first breakup. Her chest expanded and then contracted as if to squeeze the life from her.
“What is it?” She heard Nneka ask as if miles away. The alarm was evident in her voice. “Efe, what is the matter?” Nneka shouted.