by E L DuBois
The Beast gently laid Beauty on the bed and tenderly engulfed her in his arms. Beauty did not know what to say or do. She had been on a razor’s edge of emotions and pain for so long, this version of the Beast was throwing her for a loop. Maybe not the Beast? Was that her Boy she was seeing? Was that who she loved and longed for? The kind and gentle boy who had shown her such passion and tenderness in the beginning?
It was then Beauty realized that maybe she was holding on for the Boy she loved. She was forever optimistic that the Boy would return. In all the Beast’s moments of tenderness, it had not been the Beast at all. It had been the Boy. Maybe he was trapped by the Beast, just like she was.
If Beauty could only help the Boy defeat his demon Beast, then they could all be happy. She could be loved by the father of her child. The Princess would not come from a broken home and the Boy would truly love her as Beauty did. All Beauty had to do was find a way to bring out the Boy more often, and defeat the Beast, then they could have their happily ever after.
As exhaustion and the Boy’s warmth and deep gentle voice overtook Beauty, she decided to hold on to her Boy and never let go. Their happiness depended on her. She would defeat the Beast or die trying.
Chapter 8
Not your Mamma’s fairy-tale...
THE QUEEN WAS livid with Beauty for going back to the Beast. She told her daughter time after time that, “she had been raised better.” The Queen hated the Beast and did not understand why Beauty stayed with him. Beauty knew her mother was only concerned, but every time she questioned Beauty, it only made her feel like a weak-willed girl.
Over the next couple of months, a change happened. The Beast lay dormant. When Beauty left the Beast, a miracle had happened. The Boy returned. She was wary at first, always waiting for the Beast to rear his ugly head... but he didn’t. The Boy was gentle and sweet. He loved Beauty and the Princess so fiercely that the hope inside Beauty returned full force and blossomed.
During this time, the Boy took a job traveling. He said he did it for the family, and the raise in pay could improve their lives. He even got to work with his best friend and some friends from his childhood. The Boy seemed truly happy, so Beauty thought she was as well. She tried to put all the wrong of the past behind her and embrace her present. She was spending more time with the Princess, and when the Boy was home, times were good. The Princess even had her first birthday and the Beast never showed. It was the first holiday the Beast had not ruined. It seemed like life was turning around.
Then, the Princess got sick. The Boy was home from a work-trip but would be leaving that evening for another. He was watching the Princess while Beauty was at work. The Queen came by to see the Princess and noticed she felt feverish. The Queen asked the Boy if he had checked the Princess’s temperature and he had not. When the Queen checked, the little girl had a fever of 103.5. The Queen immediately called Beauty and took the Princess to the hospital. Beauty left work right away and raced to be with her child.
Since the child had no visible signs of sickness, the Queen did not know what was wrong with the baby. The Doctor’s found the source of the Princess’s sickness when they checked her diaper. She had a golf ball sized abscess on one of her bottom cheeks. The Queen and Beauty had never seen anything like it. The Doctor explained that it was very dangerous, and the baby needed to be transferred to a children’s hospital right away for emergency surgery. Beauty was more frightened than she had ever been. The thought of her child being sick and needing surgery was devastating. The Boy acted unworried. He comforted Beauty and told her their daughter would be fine. She tried to figure out how he could be so calm, but she had other, more pressing concerns in mind.
On an early summer morning before dawn, the Princess underwent surgery. The Doctors removed the abscess and placed drains in her bottom. They told Beauty it was a very bad and contagious Staff Infection. She had no clue where the baby could have gotten the infection. She had not been in any kind of day care. The Doctors told Beauty that anyone could have brought it in their shoes, and not to blame herself.
The Princess was put on strong antibiotics and released to Beauty for care at home. Beauty was relieved that it was nothing more serious. The Boy still acted unconcerned and went straight to work. He seemed more worried about not spending time with his friends than the Princess’s health. Beauty could tell something was off with him but was too worried about the Princess to care.
Three days later, when Beauty had barely heard from the Boy, her suspicions were confirmed. Instead of returning home to be with his wife and daughter, or to care for his daughter during her illness, he sent Beauty a text message that he needed some space and would be living with his best friend. Beauty was devastated at first. She thought things were better. The Beast went away, and the Boy had returned. How could anyone abandon their child while they were sick?
Once the shock wore off, Beauty got pissed. No longer a simpering, wilting flower, she told the Coward Boy exactly what she thought of him and good riddance. Seriously, after all the crap he had put her through, all he could manage was a text message? What a spineless wimp.
She began to feel a certain freedom return. Yes, the Boy was gone, but so was any worry of the Beast returning. Within two weeks, Beauty had taken a new job and moved. She found a nice little place in an upscale, gated community for her and the Princess. She was farther away from her family, but she had a new sense of wanting to start over – just her and the Princess. She wanted to make it on her own.
Beauty believed she was exactly where she needed to be to have a better life. She and the Princess had made it through the storm and were on the other side.
Since the Boy was being civil and obviously did not want Beauty, she thought they were safe. He seemed unconcerned with anything that had to do with Beauty and his child. She had her suspicions. He might have a new victim, so his obsession with her had probably shifted to someone else.
The Boy contacted Beauty offering financial help for the Princess and to talk about visitation. Beauty allowed the Boy to visit them and bring money, diapers, and milk. Whatever the baby needed. He showed no indication of the Beast or any intention toward Beauty, other than civility for the child’s sake. Therefore, after a month on their own, Beauty thought it was safe to meet the Boy.
The Queen had visited Beauty and was watching the Princess while Beauty was at work. The Boy had texted Beauty asking her to come by his friend’s house because he had money for her. When Beauty asked why he could not drop it off, he told her he was having issues with his truck. Beauty thought, “no big deal.” His friend’s house was on the way home.
Since the Queen was staying over and helping with the Princess, Beauty made plans to meet a friend. It had been such a long time since she had been out, and she just wanted adult conversation and to catch up. Beauty let the Boy know she would stop by, but first she had plans, so she would meet him after. The Boy told her he would be leaving soon, and no one would be home for a few days. Beauty did not want to deal with the Boy’s drama, so she agreed to spare a few minutes on her way out and grab the money. The Boy agreed. It was a simple conversation. Beauty felt no worry.
She had let her guard down around the Boy. That was her first mistake. She would never make it to dinner with her friend that night.
Chapter 9
Along came a spider who sat down beside her…
WHENEVER THE BOY was present for long periods of time, Beauty would forget how closely the Beast lurked beneath the mask of the Boy. In the beginning, it had caused many of her downfalls. It took her years to realize that the Boy was the illusion... not the Beast.
That night, she went to meet the Boy with no fear of the Beast. She had a newfound confidence in herself and in his lack of interest in her. So, when the Boy invited her into the friend’s house, Beauty agreed but only for a minute. When the friend and his wife waved at her as she passed through their living room, she thought, “Oh good, we are not alone. Not that I should worry, but still good
.”
Even as she followed the Boy to his room, she did not feel the tingling sense of alarm she would have had six months earlier.
It was not until she entered the room and heard the Boy click the lock on his door into place, did that old familiar sense of dread creep back in. She stood motionless, saying nothing for several seconds. Beauty was trying to process why the Boy had locked the door. She had just opened her mouth to protest, when strong arms wrapped around her from behind. A shiver went down her spine, and her body tensed, as an all too familiar voice whispered in her ear, “Did you really think I would let you go?”
It was the Beast. Beauty fought against his grip but her struggles only ignited his lust. He covered her mouth when she tried to scream and panic began to set in. Her fight or flight response kicked in and Beauty wanted to fight and flee. She bit down hard on the Beast’s hand, which brought her a yelp of pain and a backhand across the face. The Beast had actually hit her in the face. He cursed her as she kicked and cried out. As they struggled, he threw her onto the bed and began yanking her clothes off. Beauty tried to get away. She clawed and fought like never before, but it was all for nothing.
As the Beast violated her over and over, she started to disconnect from herself and what was happening. There was a strange sensation like she was floating and watching the brutality happen to someone she did not know.
The Beast was more brutal sexually than he had ever been. No one heard her cries. No one came to her rescue. When he was done, she was still in a daze. The Beast told her that she would always be his. There was no escape. She thought she could go out with someone else? He would never be replaced.
Beauty did not register the absurdity of his accusations. She was not trying to date anyone else. The Beast sat beside her for what could have been minutes or hours, murmuring all the horrible threats and plans he had for her. He had been plotting all these months and the Beast would be satisfied. Beauty must have been in shock, because she registered none of it. Her only thoughts were absurd ones. She thought about work. She thought about the weather. What she did not do was think about what had just been done to her or how her new life was about to change, again.
She stayed unmoving, like a vacant shell, even as he dressed her. She did not respond as he walked her outside to her car. She did not register the friend or his wife, who had to have heard but did nothing.
Beauty did not utter a word until after the Beast grasped her face and kissed it. He told her to text him and let him know she made it home safe. She only nodded. When the Beast acted unpleased with that response, she croaked out a feeble yes.
Beauty did not remember the drive home. She did not remember the walk to her door or the brief conversation with the Queen in her darkened living room. What she did remember was the blood. She had to wash the Beast from her body and there was so much blood from the brutality. She remembered the pain as the numbness and shock wore off.
Beauty remembered the tears.
She cried silent tears for what the Beast had done to her and still planned to do.
She cried silent tears over her stupidity.
She cried silent tears until she fell asleep.
Her tears were silent because she was so ashamed for being such a fool. She did not want the Queen to know what the Beast had done to her.
Chapter 10
Huff and puff and blow the house down…
THE NEXT DAY, the Beast moved into Beauty’s home and proclaimed it his. For two weeks, he enacted bouts of brutality followed by glimmers of tenderness. All his actions still confused Beauty. She had never known another who acted like the Beast.
The Queen found out the Beast was living with Beauty and treated her with disgust and disdain. The Queen loved Beauty but did not understand how her daughter could be so weak to take the Beast back. She had no idea of the torments Beauty endured and the feeling of loss, as her mother drifted further away, sending Beauty into a deeper despair.
Beauty was losing herself in so many ways. She did not understand how she could allow the Beast to hurt her and still feel as if his brand of normal was now her own.
The first few months of his arrival back into their lives was wrought with so many emotions. She had started a new job and had to learn it. She could barely function at work and held her façade of normal intact the best that she could. At home, she lived a nightmare. The Beast seemed more distracted and angry all the time. She could see a massive storm brewing within the Beast and did her best to survive. He appeared so unhappy to be back with Beauty, but his obsession with her had magnified. His actions were a contradiction to her and nothing made sense.
Father’s Day came, and Beauty dreaded the holiday. She had to put on a false face. Somewhere along the grueling path of life with the Beast, Beauty had adorned her own glass mask. Instead of hiding a monster, she hid a frightened, tortured, and trapped young woman.
The day went as expected, catering to his wants and needs. Trips to various vile family members that Beauty could barely stomach. They were all so fake to Beauty and she could sense in them that same underlying falseness the Beast embodied.
As the day ended and they headed home, the Beast’s anger bubbled over during the car ride. He began driving at high speeds, screaming and acting erratically. Beauty was frightened for the Princess who was in her car seat at the back of the vehicle. The Princess cried as the Beast screamed. At one point, he skidded the vehicle to a stop, leaped out of the car and rounded it to Beauty’s side. With a quick jerk of the door, he was inside and in her face, screaming at the top of his lungs. The sound was deafening to Beauty. She cried and cowered in fear as he jerked her hair and assaulted her on the side of a busy intersection. After momentarily sating his lust for violence, he got back into the vehicle and continued the drive home. All the while berating Beauty. He told her she was nothing, a Bitch who deserved everything she got. He said he treated her like this because she did not love him enough or in the right way. The insults were endless and meant to cut away any self-esteem Beauty had left. Beauty cried with force. The gut-wrenching cries of a woman on the verge of breaking. Beast was trying to break her. She hated to let him see her cry these kinds of tears. She hated to let him see the soul-searing pain he could inflict upon her, because she knew that these were the true moments that brought him the most pleasure. If he could push her to that point, he would do it repeatedly. It was a drug to him. He fed off it like the addict he was. It made the Beast high to have so much control over Beauty.
The Beast had many addictions. He was always seeking a high of some sort; from drugs, sex, and abuse. Anything and everything that gave him a rush. In that moment, in that car, Beauty realized something very important. She was another addiction to the Beast. Her pain was the ultimate high for him.
When they finally arrived home, the tsunami of anger only magnified. Beauty could almost see it dancing around him like black smoke tendrils; a real-life manifestation of the pain he was about to inflict. She managed to get the Princess tucked away in her room, to shield her daughter from the monster. The car ride had been bad enough. She had been powerless to protect her and only prayed the baby was too young to ever remember the brutality of the Beast.
Beauty knew the days were numbered on how long she could shield the Princess, and silently prayed for a miracle as she put her daughter down to sleep. The Princess was so lovely and small. The only ray of hope in Beauty’s life. She did not want to leave her side. She did not want to face the monster just beyond her daughter’s door, but she could hear him pacing. Waiting... stalking... like a caged predator for his prey. If Beauty did not go out to the Wolf at her door, he would bring it down.
Resigned to her fate and with a heavy heart, Beauty silently left the Princess’s sleeping form and went to face her fate. The Beast immediately pounced on her. His abuses quiet and menacing. Beauty suffered in silence so no one would hear. Not the baby, not the neighbors. When the Beast was sated, Beauty lay curled into a ball in the corner. Her clo
thes were torn. Her body was battered, and she bled from her most intimate places. Beauty thought the Beast was done, his lusts sated, but she was wrong. He had only gotten the physical and sexual torture out of the way. As he approached, she instinctively moved closer to the wall and away from him.
With a sneer, he grasped her chin and said, “How does my Beauty feel?”
She answered him honestly, her voice barely above a whisper. “You are breaking me. You are breaking my heart with this.”
A broad smile spread across the Beast’s face and he laughed, a low, menacing sound that made the hairs on Beauty’s nape rise. His voice was the personification of evil.
“Oh, my sweet, ignorant little Beauty. Heartbreaking? You want heartbreaking? I got some heartbreaking shit for you.” Then, the Beast pulled out his cell phone and dialed a number. Beauty found his behavior odd and watched as he asked the person on the other line, “Can I come to your house?”
Beauty did not know what to make of the Beast. He had changed into a normal person for that single-sentence conversation. When he hung up, he sneered down at Beauty one last time, turned his back on her, grabbed his keys from the counter and walked out the door. He never looked back and she laid on the floor, her face pressed to the cool tile, and cried until it felt like she had no more tears left.
When Beauty was finally able to stand, she made her way to the bathroom to clean up. Before her bath, she stared for a long time at the naked reflection of the creature in the mirror. Her long, raven hair was a tangled mess, matted with blood. Her body was starting to bruise in places. She had a large, purpling spot on her left thigh. Bite marks and scratches riddled the skin of her breasts, torso and upper arms. Her eyes were swollen and puffy. Nose red, cheeks flushed, but it was unmarked and still beautiful. Her ribs and left shoulder hurt so badly. The shoulder hung at an unnatural angle and Beauty realized it had been dislocated. She knew how to relocate it herself from previous injuries, so she gritted her teeth and tried to relax. She bent her elbow, cradled her forearm and tried to rotate it back into place. It did not want to budge so she eventually had to use a more forceful approach. Once it was back in place, she cleaned the blood and the Beast from her body. Once dressed, she took over-the-counter pain relievers and got some ice. She did not eat. She rarely ate anymore. Her body was becoming gaunt and frailer with each day. The stress was making her lose weight rapidly. A moment of worry crept in as she remembered the Beast’s comments about her weight loss. First, he had praised her, then he had warned her that she’d better not lose too much. He liked his women with nice round asses and her breasts were already too small. The emotional scars were ever present even when he was not.