by E L DuBois
“What’s up?”
He stepped into her office and seated his muscled frame into one of the client chairs. Beauty was trying to wipe the smile off her face and come across as professional but was probably only succeeding in looking like she had a facial tick or was on the verge of a stroke. Mr. Knight looked at ease. He was the kind of guy who looked at ease no matter what he was doing.
Beauty wondered how at ease he would look naked. She could feel her face flushing with heat. She was probably turning a cherry red. “Oh my God, where had that thought come from?” She had not thought of anyone naked in years. She was so used to seeing the Beast and only the Beast that she was numb to sexual arousal. Her cheeks heated further, and she could feel a flush spreading down her neck. FUCK, FUCK, DOUBLE FUCK! Mr. Knight was looking at her, his eyebrow quirked.
What the fuck was wrong with her? This man is going to think she has mental deficiencies if she keeps staring, grinning and turning beet red. Beauty tried to school her face and cleared her throat. With a cock of her head, she indicated that Mr. Knight start. His voice sounded like he was holding in a chuckle and trying to sound professional.
“I just stopped by to let you know the boss called and assigned me to be your trainer. Looks like you will be shadowing me all day, every day, until it’s time for your own out of town training.” The mega-watt smile returned, and Beauty’s eyes just about bugged out of her head.
TRIPLE FUCK, SHIT, I AM DOOMED. Her mouth was wise enough not to blurt out what she was thinking. Instead, she said, “I need pencils.” She was mortified and got diarrhea of the mouth whenever she was nervous. “I also need pens, paper, notebooks, and highlighters.”
Mr. Knight nodded slowly, his eyebrows drawn together, a slight frown on his lips, as if he was processing her strange behavior.
“Ok.” The word was drawn out as his gorgeous kaleidoscope eyes met Beauty’s hazel ones. She just about melted, and she knew an unconscious dreamy grin had spread across her face.
With his own answering grin, Mr. Knight said, “Follow me. The supply closet is right across from my office.”
Beauty jumped up from her chair like something had bitten her. “Crap,” she thought. “This man makes me act like a lovestruck school girl. Get it together, Beauty.”
As she followed Mr. Knight to his office on the other side of the building, he made steady small talk about the job. Beauty heard none of it. She was too busy trying to focus on not falling on her face and overcoming the weak-kneed effect he had on her.
Beauty was baffled. Never in her life had any man ever had this kind of effect on her. Not once, even when she was younger and a famous young actor tried to pick her up in a casino. That guy had been gorgeous and from a famous family, but Beauty had declined gracefully and even spent two hours talking with the guy before sending him off to his room, ALONE. Beauty had treated him like a normal person and never once felt awe-struck by him and she had seen all his movies. What was the deal with Mr. Knight?
Beauty was so lost in her thoughts that she ran right into him. He was like a brick wall of muscle and she lost her balance. He quickly whirled around to steady her before she fell right onto her butt. His hands were large and warm on Beauty’s arms. She could feel the warmth through the long cotton sleeves of her undershirt. Beauty wanted to sigh and lean into him. He felt so comfortable and safe, and he smelled so good... like soap coffee and real man. An actual man, not a monster.
“You ok?” His concerned eyes skimmed her from head to toe.
Beauty had to will herself to step out of his embrace.
“Yes, yes, I am fine. Sorry about my clumsiness. I should watch where I am going.”
That slow, sly grin that she was already beginning to love the sight of crept across his face. He was so real. Nothing fake about him like the asshole, Beast. Mr. Knight had the best smiles, the kind that made his eyes twinkle. Really twinkled like nothing she had ever seen before. There was just something about him, as if he possessed all things good in the world. Everything about him was light and goodness. The complete opposite and a stark contrast to the Beast’s darkness and tainted love.
Beauty shook the thoughts from her head and tried to focus on supplies. She side-stepped Mr. Knight and gathered up all the supplies she thought she might need, even grabbing some extra so she wouldn’t have to make another trip to the closet. Beauty feared she might do something embarrassing like fall on her face if she had to walk past Mr. Knight to get supplies.
Once done, Beauty tried to slip out of the closet and back to her office, but Mr. Knight, being the gentleman he was, waited and helped her carry her supplies. She walked with her head held high and arms full. Praying she won’t trip and make a fool of herself. Mr. Knight was close on her heels.
She dumped her supplies on her desk and set out to organizing everything. Mr. Knight did the same and Beauty looked at him with questions in her eyes. He quirked his brows again as if to say, “What, I can’t help?” Then came the grinning fool routine. This man had to think she was some kind of village idiot.
As she finished with the last of her supplies, Mr. Knight grabbed a note pad and pen.
“Are you ready? I think this is all you will need for notes.”
Beauty was giddy, an effect his nearness had on her. She nodded a reply and followed him back to his office. It looked the same as Beauty’s, but bigger. The desk was smaller, and he had no windows, but everything else seemed the same as Beauty’s office. Mr. Knight sat down in his office chair and Beauty took a seat across from him in one of the client chairs. She was glad to have some distance. Her back was ramrod straight and starting to ache from trying to hold a proper posture. The silence dragged on as he typed away at his keyboard and talked to Beauty about how to use the computer systems. She was not hearing a word he said. All Beauty heard was the pounding of her heart as she watched his muscles flex with each movement of his body.
“Good God,” she thought. “Is his office getting hotter or is that just me?” She tried to discreetly fan her face.
Mr. Knight was in the middle of talking about something and must have noticed the glazed look in her eyes. He stopped and stared at her. Then, he leaned back in his chair and laced the fingers of his large hands behind his head. He was eyeing Beauty and she felt like a bug under a microscope. Before she could say anything to break the tension, Mr. Knight shot up out of his chair as if struck by a stroke of genius. Beauty just watched in silence as he dragged the other client chair and placed it right beside his, behind the desk. With a grin, he motioned for her to take a seat. RIGHT NEXT TO HIM. Like arms touching next to him.
Beauty looked from him to the chair then back again several times, before finally standing. She trembled as she approached the chair. Mr. Knight gave her one of his heart-stopping smiles and looked at her as if he had just solved the world’s hardest puzzle.
Like a gentleman, he waited for her to be seated and then took his own. She was sitting a little behind and to the side of him, so he had to look over one broad shoulder or turn in his seat to face her, whenever he wanted to point out something he thought was particularly important or helpful. Which was ridiculous... because Beauty heard none of it.
Between the smell of him and her straying thoughts, she did well in keeping her face looking professional. But it was a struggle. She nodded when he glanced at her and pretended she was following. He would nod back and reward her with one of his dazzling smiles which would make her insides tingle. The whole time he spoke, Beauty was just enjoying the southern cadence of his voice. She was also admiring every inch of him, hoping she did not get caught.
Before she knew it, it was the end of the day, and Beauty felt a pang of sadness in her chest at the thought of being far of his presence. As she got up to leave, he surprised her with outstretched arms.
“Good job today. How about a hug?”
Beauty went into his arms without pause and breathed in his scent like her life depended on it. His arms were large and engulfed
her in a way that made her feel protected. The hug was brief, but instantly, Beauty knew she would forever crave and miss that feeling. She had to force herself to walk away from him.
As Beauty drove home that evening, she was in a fog. In her mind, she analyzed every word and gesture he made while they worked together. Trying to determine if he was just being friendly or if he also felt something. He was so reserved and easy-going that Beauty could not get a read on any of his actions.
By the time she pulled into her driveway, she still had no answers. Frustrated and tired, she was glad the Beast was not home. That night, as she put the beautiful Princess to sleep, Beauty decided she would figure Mr. Knight out and deal with whatever the outcome would be. If he felt the same, she would not deny him. If he did not, she would suffer in silence like she had been doing for years.
The next morning, Beauty was in a good mood. She took extra care with her appearance and set off to work with a spring in her step. She decided to test Mr. Knight and gauge his reactions. Beauty never had to seduce a man or even pursue one.
Over the next few weeks, she put an extra sway in her hips, and wore professional but feminine attire that accentuated her figure without being provocative. Beauty found reasons to touch him or be near him during their training. A brush of the hand or touch of the thigh as she scooted closer. He never tensed at her touch or scooted away at her nearness. Beauty also opened herself up to friendly banter. Maybe it was flirting, she was not sure. It was her brand of flirting. Beauty and Mr. Knight would get sidetracked talking about personal likes and dislikes. She found they had a lot in common, and the more she learned about the man, the more she liked him. She still got giddy in his presence, but with time, the nervousness turned into an ease she had never known with any man. He was a handsome, strong, kind, and humble person. Everything the Beast was not. She never talked to Mr. Knight about the Beast, but she often shared stories about the Princess, and he seemed genuinely interested in her daughter. It delighted Beauty whenever he would ask about the Princess or when she shared photos and could see his true delight over them.
Beauty could feel the bond growing with each passing day. She also felt hope growing inside her too. If she could find love with someone like Mr. Knight, maybe she was not lost to the Beast after all. With Mr. Knight by her side, she could escape the Beast once and for all.
The days were spent laughing, learning and exchanging enjoyable conversation as they grew closer. At the end of each day, they hugged, and that hug carried Beauty until the next day when she could be near him again. They had exchanged phone numbers and texted outside of work, but it was all innocent and polite small talk. They were friends and he was being a helpful one. That’s what Beauty told herself.
She could not let herself get lost in the fantasy of more... when her reality was so bleak. She could not handle any more heartbreak.
Mr. Knight never spoke of a relationship, but he wore a ring. This bothered Beauty, until finally, one day, she asked him if he had a wife.
“Yes, I do.”
Beauty’s heart sank, and she tried to mask the stab of pain she felt in her chest.
“Oh, how did you meet?”
Mr. Knight sounded so matter of fact when he told her. He seemed very detached from the whole subject.
“When I was young, I had two friends I hung out with. She was their cousin who was always around. I never really paid much attention to her. I was not interested in a relationship and it just kind of happened. When I left to go off to school, she followed. She kind of never went away. When I joined the service, and was involuntarily mobilized, I thought it was best we marry so she would be taken care of in case something happened to me.”
Beauty blinked. “Well, isn’t that just the most romantic thing she had ever heard. NOT!” she thought.
“Umm... Ok. Do you have a photo of her?”
Mr. Knight pulled out his phone, tapped and swiped a few times, then turned the screen to face her. Beauty barely kept the cringe off her face. The woman looked like an Ogre. Beauty was not judgmental, but she had expected a tiny, blonde bombshell she could never compete with. She had not expected a bitchy looking troll.
Mr. Knight turned the phone back around and tucked it away on the desk. Beauty could not read the emotions on his face, but she sensed unhappiness and detachment on his part. Her mind raced. “Could he be unhappy in a loveless marriage like she was?”
Beauty did not want to get her hopes up or break up a marriage, but she found herself prying about the Troll.
“Everything ok? With the wife, I mean.”
Mr. Knight was silent as he stared at the computer. His finger on his right hand clicked through the screens. She thought maybe she had overstepped, then he began to speak.
“She is very spoiled and lazy. She doesn’t work. I work all day, come home and have to mow with the tractor. Clean the house, then cook and make dinner. She doesn’t do anything but sleep late, get up, eat, and watch TV until two in the morning.”
Beauty was taken aback at his honest admission and the utter laziness of the troll. She had always been hard-working and independent. She didn’t understand someone who could be so lazy. Before she could stop herself, she blurted out with bewilderment.
“She does not do anything? You have to do EVERYTHING?” Her voice rose a little with the last word.
Mr. Knight turned to look at her, sadness in those kaleidoscope eyes.
“Yes.”
“I would never be that way.” Beauty did not realize what came out of her mouth until it was too late, and she could not take back the words. Embarrassment started to set in until she met his eyes and he said.
“I know it would be different with you.”
Beauty almost swallowed her own tongue and a long awkward silence stretched between them. Eventually, Mr. Knight turned back to the computer and Beauty sat there quietly processing what had just passed between them.
As the afternoon carried on, the easy banter returned, and it was like the awkwardness had never happened. At the end of that day, Mr. Knight engulfed Beauty in one of his amazing hugs and it lingered longer than usual. She felt his big shoulders rise and fall with his breaths. She leaned back, still in his arms and gazed up at him. He was gazing down at her and his beautiful eyes were searching hers. They gazed at each other as something unspoken passed between them. The way he was looking at her, Beauty was sure they were going to kiss. But instead, his arms dropped away and she stepped back, shaken by the intensity of her longing. With a steadying breath, she forced herself to retreat from him and back out of the room.
For the rest of the evening, Beauty obsessed over what had happened. She analyzed everything and could not decide if she had imagined it because she was projecting her feelings on to him, or if he had really meant to kiss her. Finally saying “fuck it” in her brain, she worked up the courage to start a text conversation. It was polite at first, until finally, she texted.
Beauty: Hey, it kind of felt like you wanted to kiss me.
Mr. Knight: I did.
Beauty’s whole entire life changed with those two words. She felt her heart swelling and a fear creep in. She wanted Mr. Knight and he wanted her. This was such a complicated situation and she had been through so much already. She was in bed beside the sleeping Princess, contemplating what to say to Mr. Knight, when her phone rang. It was the Beast. Beauty’s whole body tensed with fear. For a moment, she was afraid he might have found out what she’d been up to somehow. He could have a tracking device on her phone that monitored all her messages and calls. She would not put that kind of behavior past him. He may ignore her and the Princess for his drugs, cars, and friends, but they were still his property. He did not want them, but he would not let anyone else have them.
As Beauty answered the phone she tried not to sound nervous or suspicious.
“Hello?”
“I have to tell you something...”
The Beast sounded like he was in freak out mode. She thought,
“Oh damn it, he has probably lost his job and will be around more.”
“Ok, what’s going on?” she said.
“I talked to my ex-stepmother today and my younger brother is in rehab because of the issues he has over what happened to him when he was a kid. She asked me to tell her the truth, so I did.”
Beauty was not sure why the Beast was sounding manic over this. His little brother had been having issues with drug abuse since he was very young. She wondered what could have happened?
“Ok, what truth did you need to tell?”
The Beast did not hesitate and almost sounded proud.
“When the Drama Queen and I were younger, in our teen and pre-teen years, we had sex. Once, when my brother was five, I held him down while the Drama Queen tried to have sex with him. My ex-stepmother called me for the truth because the Drama Queen will not admit what she did or apologize for it. Apparently, there is no statute of limitations on it. I think we’re the reason he’s so messed up. When it happened, he told, but we said he was lying. My Dad and step-mom believed us, until today... when I confirmed and apologized to her and him for what we did to mess him up.”
Beauty was speechless, trying to process what the Beast had just told her. He could not mean what he said. That was beyond Beauty’s ability to comprehend. He was talking not only of incest but child molestation. One who was the same age the Princess is now. Disgust roiled through Beauty’s gut and she felt like vomiting. She might be going into shock. Her brain could not process what he said.
The Beast had been many things – abuser, monster, immature child – but Beauty had never allowed herself to think he would go so far as to hurt a child sexually. She knew he was depraved but those depravities had always been aimed at her. He liked older women, not children.
Like pieces of puzzles falling into place, his proclivities for women started to click into place. He liked short women. The Drama Queen was short, like Beauty. He wanted them to have meat on their bones to the point of what society would call obese. The Beast called them BBWs, short for Big Beautiful Women. He was always wanting Beauty to gain weight, which she hated. One minute it was gain weight and the next she was too fat. She always thought it was one of his emotional abuses, but she had never been anywhere near the size of his sister. The Drama Queen was very obese and had very large breasts, another one of the Beast’s fetish. He wanted breasts so large to be obscene. Breast, Beauty realized, just like the Drama Queen’s.