He nodded. His jaw clenched. He knew I’d hit the nail on the head.
“So, I just wanted to drop this off.” He thrust an envelope in my hand. Peaking inside, because what could he be giving me, I found a cashier’s check for twenty thousand dollars. I threw him a questioning look. “I’d feel kind of skeevy buying my girlfriend’s virginity…or ex-girlfriend, I guess. I want you to have a choice, Flannery.”
After an intense moment where I couldn’t form words with my mouth and his chocolate browns burned into me, he shut the door quietly behind him.
What the fuck just happened? I stood there frozen, check in hand, my brain spinning a hundred miles an hour and yet nothing came out. Then I started to move quickly. Dear lord, my computer never took so long to boot. Once it did, I sent Melody a quick email calling the whole thing off. I remembered to say we were still within the back-out period and thanks for all her help.
Then I hit the door. The beautiful spring day still had a bit of chill in the air but I made good time running to Cain’s. When I got about two blocks away, my running slowed to a walk to allow me to catch my breath and not be sweating like a pig once I arrived. Somehow, I’d managed to send Kendra and Ava a weirdly worded text about the solution changing. Yet I didn’t take the time to respond when they sent ones back saying “what the fuck.” They were more alike than they’d ever know.
Knocking quickly, Cain pulled the door open almost immediately. Standing in front of me looking like he hadn’t left the house, all comfortable, no shoes but I knew he had. He’d just been at my dorm. How he looked good without even trying, I’d never wrap my mind around.
“Hey.” I looked up at him through my lashes. Cain moved aside to let me in. To my surprise, Jackson sat on the couch. Wasn’t expecting him. “Oh, sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt.”
Cain blocked my exit. “He’s leaving in a minute. I’ll be right back.” My eyes stayed on him until he disappeared inside his room. My heart pounded but it had nothing to do with the run over.
Jackson pushed off the couch and stalked toward me in a way that made my flight instinct kick in. He had something predatory in his eyes. I’d seen it before in guys at my mom’s bar after school. And there’d always been something gross about him. I couldn’t put my finger on it but even in Florida, after every interaction with Jackson, I needed a shower.
“So, Flannery. Anything new?” The smile playing at the corner of his lips told me he knew exactly what had been going on. And out of everything I’d endured since this became public, I knew this would be the encounter I’d hate the most.
“Not much. You?”
He walked closer.
“Oh, you know.” I didn’t. And didn’t want to. “Actually, Flannery.” I hated the way he said my name like it was a dirty word. “I know what you’ve been up to.” Figured. “You should’ve come to me.” What the what? My face pulled in tightly in confusion. Jackson leaned in close enough his breath covered my skin, it smelled of beer, which was disgusting, and whispered, “I would’ve paid more.”
He didn’t touch me and I’d grown accustomed to the nasty things people were saying but somehow, coming from Cain’s brother, it was much worse. My fist curled into a ball and without thinking, I threw a full-on punch with my weight behind it.
Holy fuck it hurt. I’ve seen guys hit each other, no one ever acted like it hurt too much but dear lord did it hurt, sharp stabbing that radiated through my knuckles. Jackson stumbled back. A prideful satisfaction rose in my chest looking at the red mark marring his left cheekbone. Unfortunately, we weren’t alone.
“Fuck,” Sam muttered the moment my fist made contact. “Cain,” he called, “you better get in here. Your girl is beating the shit out of your brother.”
Cain filled the room right away. His eyes took me in. I held my right hand with my left, biting my lips together to keep from crying. It hurt. Without saying anything, Cain went over, opened the door and glared at his brother. Jackson worked his jaw the way I’d seen Cain do more than once then walked out. I think Jackson tried to decide if he could get away with hitting me. Or if Cain would’ve jumped to my defense. Jackson couldn’t be that stupid. Cain jumped to my defense in the moments he hated me the most. Jackson would become a memory in Cain’s hands.
After the slam of the door, Cain led me into the kitchen, put his hands on my waist, and lifted to set me on the counter like I weighed nothing. He looked over the damage to my knuckles gently and grabbed a bag of frozen corn to set on it. I winced at the added weight before the coldness became soothing. Note to self, only punch someone when absolutely necessary. Though, for Jackson, totally worth it.
Both of his hands rested on the counter on either side of my hips. He’d worked his body to stand between my knees. He hadn’t been close in too long and a whole slew of inappropriate thoughts raced through my head. Perhaps they showed on my face because he pushed the cold pack a little harder which brought me back to reality. A painful reality.
“What happened?” I didn’t answer. I’d already caused enough trouble. “Flannery, I had him leave because I didn’t want to kill him before I knew why I needed to.” Still nothing. I didn’t want to come between brothers. “Ok, then he dies without a reason.”
Giggling and shaking my head, his proximity made me finally answer. “He said something I didn’t like and I’ve been kind of high strung lately. So, I overreacted. No murder is necessary.”
“Doubtful. People have been saying all kinds of shit and I don’t think you’ve punched any of them. So spill.”
Rolling my eyes, I let out a groan. “Fine. He said I should’ve called him. He would’ve paid more.” More anger than I’ve seen since the night he found out passed over his face. His hands clenched in fists. He pushed himself away a little and bent over toward the floor. Leave it to me to focus on the fact that his head almost rested on the counter between my knees. Then I mentally chastised myself for only thinking pervy things in this situation. “It’s not a big deal. I let him know his offer wasn’t appreciated.”
“Yeah, you did.” The proud smile he got made the throbbing in my hand worth it. Yet the way his eyes smoldered told me the subject would be addressed between brothers. I loved this man. “Did you need something?”
“You dropped a cashier’s check in my hand and took off. Seems like twenty thousand dollars is something to talk about.”
He thought for a second, picking his words carefully.
“Like I said, I want you to have options.”
“So you’re family knows. All of them?” The idea bothered me. More than the people at school knowing bothered me. His family welcomed me and I didn’t think I could handle them thinking of me as anything less than deserving.
“I don’t know if Adele or Mom knows but yeah, I had to tell my dad why I wanted the money. Jackson overheard. I wouldn’t have told him.”
“So, this is your dad’s money?” It shouldn’t have surprised me but it did. His parents had lots of cash but to my knowledge Cain didn’t have his own.
“No, not really. He oversees a small inheritance until I’m twenty-five. So to get to it, I have to go through him. Then he wanted to know why I wanted so much money since the only other time I asked for any was for my car.”
“What’d he say?” My entire body clenched. I hated the idea he might have said some less than flattering things. I really liked his dad.
“Well, I asked him yesterday and got the money today. That should tell you something. And I gave you a cashier’s check so don’t even think about not cashing it. If you don’t it’s just wasted money out there in limbo because it’s already out of my account.” His eyes found mine again. “I should’ve thought of this right away, Flannery. I was just so…”
“Pissed, hurt, disgusted?” I offered up.
“Not disgusted. The other stuff but not that.” Cain brought his hand up to the side of my face and everything inside completely melted with each swipe of his thumb across my cheek. “That’s not to s
ay I didn’t hate the idea of you with someone else, and I really hated the idea of someone else seeing the look on your face when you…and being responsible for it.” I knew what he meant because there was only one look he’d seen no one else had.
“I don’t think that would’ve been an issue.” His brows furrowed to let me know he didn’t understand what I meant. “Cain, I wasn’t doing it for enjoyment. Dude would’ve been lucky if I didn’t sob hysterically through it.” I tried to make him feel better. I knew I’d have been able to control myself more than that but I wouldn’t have enjoyed it.
His hand adjusted slightly. Thumb making a couple of gentle movements over my lips while his eyes bore into my soul. The heat was instant. My entire body turned into free flowing molten lava.
“Would have?” He whispered. I wondered if he’d catch the past tense.
“I sent the email before I came over. I’m not going through with it because I don’t have to. Apparently, I have a sugar daddy that loaned me the money to stay.” His body relaxed into the countertop. “But what did your dad say?” I wasn’t letting it go. I needed to know.
“That he wished he’d known before it got to this point. He’d hate to see how your mom handled the news if she ever found out. My family’s pretty fond of you.” His face darkened. “Some maybe too much.” I’d ignore the last part.
“Well she’d kill me for sure.” I laughed quietly. I also noticed his hand hadn’t left my face. What did this all mean? I had no idea but I needed to. “Cain…” I barely had a voice.
His other hand swept my hair away from my face. His lips inched closer and closer to mine until they brushed each other. Then he was a starving man and I the last cheeseburger on the planet. His lips engulfed me pushing mine apart. His tongue…oh, how I missed the talent in that muscle. My arms clasped around his neck pulling him closer as his hands moved down the sides of my body landing on my hips. A quick flex of his arm muscle scooted my butt to the edge of the counter until we literally couldn’t be any closer. He was the one to break the kiss, pressing his forehead against mine as we both tried to catch our breaths. When I got a look at him, he kind of looked angry but I didn’t know at what.
Giving my hand another look, Cain determined nothing to be broken and said it’d hurt even worse the next day. Otherwise everything looked good. He replaced the corn with a pack of peas and I had to admit it felt good. I’d never punched someone in the face so I guess I needed to mark it off the bucket list.
“I shouldn’t have done that. Weak moment. Sorry.”
“I’m not.” Being sorry for kissing me wasn’t what I hoped for. Then again what did I think would happen? He’d pay my tuition, I wouldn’t go through with the solution and everything would go back to the way it was before? I’m embarrassed to admit, I did kind of think that but those were not the vibes he gave off. “Thank you,” I said quietly. I thought he might not have heard me as he looked over my hand.
“For?” I continued to look at him. “Don’t worry about it.”
“I’m paying you back.” He pretended not to hear me.
“Remind me not to fuck with you, Flannery,” Sam said, bursting through the kitchen door and grabbing a bottle of water out of the fridge. “That hit was totally badass.” Cain laughed despite his mood. “I’m serious. You should’ve seen it.”
“Oh, I almost forgot.” I looked over to Cain trying to be serious. “Do you like Chunky Monkey ice cream?” Sam about choked on the water in his mouth then laughed hard. Cain stared on watching us curiously.
“Ah, I guess. Why?”
“No reason.”
Sam started crying, he laughed so hard. I wanted to tell Cain about the conversation Sam and I had in the hall but clearly, by his demeanor, it wasn’t the time. He was still mad at himself for the “momentary weakness.”
“Hey, don’t you have class?” Cain looked down at me. I noticed he’d moved away leaning against the table in their kitchen.
“I’m not going.” His eyebrows shot up. “No way could I sit through class with this hand.” The three of us were there in the kitchen. I could feel the air thicken, tension hanging between us and once again, I wanted to cry. Things weren’t fixed and for the first time I let myself believe the truth that they may never be.
“Well,” I sighed, “I guess I should head back to the dorm.” I didn’t move. “It’s almost eight and I shouldn’t walk home alone too late.” I wanted him to offer me a ride. I wanted a few more minutes with him to try and figure out where his head was. “Lots of crazies out there.”
“You’re not walking.” He grabbed himself a bottle of beer out of the fridge. “Sam, could you run her home?”
Really? He wanted to pawn me off on his best friend rather than be alone with me again? It hurt. But it also pissed me off. Luckily, said best friend didn’t mind driving me because I sure didn’t want to walk with the throbbing in my hand. And I took the peas. He crushed my spirit right there in the kitchen, kissing me the way he did then making sure I knew he thought he’d made a mistake so I took the frozen peas.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Sam tried giving me a pep talk on the way to my dorm. I had a hard time getting into his massive truck since I couldn’t use my right hand to help. He put his hands on my ass and gave a push that ended with a playful slap on the right cheek. Then made some smart comment as to not knowing what the fuss was about. I wanted to laugh. Actually, I wanted to punch him in the face but decided against it for several reasons. One being that no way would my left hand hurt him. Two, my right was out of commission. And three, I wasn’t mad at him.
“Flannery,” he said before I jumped down from his truck outside the dorm. “Cain loves you. You have to understand that this…” He twirled his finger in the air. “Hurt. More than that, he was humiliated. You’re going to have to do something to show him he doesn’t have anything to worry about.”
“I’d humiliate myself but been there done that.”
“That’s not what I’m talking about.” Sam shook his head. “I’ve known the guy basically my whole life. Give him something solid.” He thought for a moment before adding, “Did he tell you about his dad’s reaction?” I shook my head because Cain gave me very little in that area. “The very first thing his dad said was ‘wow. That girl must really love you.’”
His dad got it. I hoped Cain knew it really was all for him.
***
Taking Sam’s advice turned out to be easier than I thought. I stayed up the whole night putting my plan together. I’d need Sam’s help, Kendra and Adam too. And hopefully, some romantic-types that would let me do what I needed to do. And I only had three days to get everything organized.
The baseball team had a night game on Saturday. I got Sam to promise to get Cain there after Kendra finagled me three primo seats. She flirted with this guy who’d been crushing on her since day one, with Adam’s support, of course. I wanted Adam to go with Sam and Cain in case Cain tried to bolt before I finished. Kendra would come with me in case my heart shattered into a mess of goo. Adam also helped talk the announcer into letting me into the box at the beginning of the game and take a break during the seventh inning stretch. There may have been promises of hookers and cocaine and I wouldn’t have cared less.
So there I sat for seven innings. During the first, I made sure the guys were there. During the second and third I listened to Kendra ramble on about the litany of reasons she and Adam shouldn’t be together. I knew her well. She tried to convince herself because she’d fallen in love with him and it scared the hell out of her. I knew this but she’d never admit to herself let alone anyone else. Hell, he was a huge part of the reason she wanted to stay in Michigan for the summer. Again, not that she’d ever say that.
But she did her job well because I didn’t even have a moment for nerves to take over. And then the time came for me to act. Now, normally during the seventh inning stretch someone sings America the Beautiful. Or at least that’s what I’d been told. I could count on
one finger the number of baseball games I’d been to including this one. When the singer didn’t go out onto the field, the crowd started looking around. It was time.
“Slight change to the program tonight folks,” the announcer stepped in when I tried to speak and nothing came out. “We’ve got a special guest in the box tonight. Our very own Flannery Tate.”
Cain’s head snapped up toward us. He couldn’t see me, so I scooted forward hoping he’d be able to. I still don’t think he could but I bit the bullet.
“Hi, everybody.” I swallowed hard. “I’m Flannery Tate, resident strumpet and overall painted woman.” Kendra squeezed my shoulder, which gave me much more than she’d ever know. “I’m here today because of a guy. And right now he looks pretty pissed.” His eyes fixed on the empty field once I found him again. “I’m hoping I can fix that.” He moved like he wanted to stand but Adam and Sam, each on either side of him, tugged him back down. “Earlier this year, I met a great guy. I fell in love. He loved me, too. But I fucked up. I mean really screwed the pooch.”
I couldn’t get out onto the field. That had been out of my reach no matter how hard I tried. Bill, the announcer, handed me a cordless mic and I pushed the nausea away to step outside the press box. Because of where I was, I didn’t have a clear path to Cain but I went down the aisle far enough that I could grab a hold of the backstop. He could see me and I could see him.
I had never sung a word in public. I wasn’t a singer but at least I could carry a tune…sort of. It helped that Adam got his buddy Tony to back me up on guitar, which he hooked to an amp and fed into the sound system.
I opened my mouth and let the words out…the song Sam said Cain had been listening to over and over in his room. Rivers and Roads by The Head and The Heart.
The lyrics came out shaky, about how in a year we’d all be gone and nothing will be the same. But I wasn’t lying when I sang about missing his face. I missed the way he used to look at me.
Up for Grabs (Up For Grabs #1) Page 17