“After this there’s no going back.” His eyes searched mine for any sign of doubt. I didn’t have any. I wasn’t even anxious anymore seeing the flames of desire in his dark eyes.
“I don’t want to go back.”
“It’s gonna hurt.” I nodded. “Tell me if you need me to stop, ok?” Again I could only nod. Hormones made me lose the ability to speak.
His lips were back on mine putting me on the verge of losing myself in the depths of his mouth when he gently pushed inside. The muscles in my legs tensed involuntarily, digging into his hips which kept him from getting closer.
“Relax,” he whispered, burying his face in my neck to caress my skin with his mouth. Forcing my legs to unclench, they fell apart at the knees. Cain settled in slowly, shifting his hips a little at a time. Suddenly, I was burning and not in the burning desire sort of way I’d become used to.
With each of his movements, one of my hands squeezed his shoulder, the other the sheet. Harder and harder until my joints ached and he stilled, allowing me to grow accustomed to him being there. My breathing shallowed while I waited for the pain to subside. It wasn’t as bad as when I punched Jackson because this…this I knew would turn into something very, very good. I hadn’t realized my eyes were clenched shut until he gently kissed them open.
“Are you ok?” He asked breathily against my ear. It was one of the ways I knew I affected him the way he did me. He hadn’t been able to move yet and his heart race as much as mine.
But I couldn’t answer until the wave subsided. He waited. Not budging at all until I nodded. He moved in a slow rhythm, almost all the way out then back in. His lips and hands touched every part of me they could reach, holding my hips then my ass in place. My fingertips ran up and down the muscles working in his back when I wasn’t holding on for dear life. I could literally explode at any minute. Once it started to feel good, I did. His hand reached in between us to gently caress my pleasure center until every muscle turned to jelly, every joint felt over stretched. All I’d done was give myself to Cain completely. And this was my reward.
I was his.
“Uh,” he sighed into my ear. “You feel so good.”
In any other situation, I would’ve been embarrassed by the noises coming from me but not there, not with him. Actually, each sound egged him on until he sped up, a signal of what was to come, him thrusting toward his own release. Then his body stilled, pressing firmly down on mine, breathing erratically into the spot where my neck curves into my shoulder. We were connected and didn’t close our eyes when he kissed me softly before falling onto the bed beside me, an arm over my stomach, holding me as close to him as he could. I stared at the ceiling trying to grasp what we’d experienced. It was better than I’d ever imagined.
Fingertips swept my hair back. Lips touched mine then traced over to my shoulder. Flannery Tate was no longer a virgin.
Chapter Twenty-Six
We stayed there with each other for a long time. Neither of us able or willing to move or speak or admit that an outside world surrounded us. I didn’t want to break the little piece of happiness we were basking in.
“I’ll be right back.” He kissed my cheek before moving away but I still couldn’t take my eyes off of him. Until I saw something else.
“What is that?” I pointed to his most private area tinged red. “Is that…blood?”
“Yeah.” His brows rose. “Flannery, you were a virgin.”
Embarrassed heat spread from head to toe. “Oh, God.” I flipped the sheet and blanket over my head much to his amusement. I’d been wrapped up in him and hadn’t had a chance to think about any of the details. Which was probably a good thing considering I would’ve been obsessed and it would’ve ruined everything.
His quiet chuckling stopped. The bed next to me dipped under his weight before he pulled the covers down.
“Knock it off. It’s not a big deal. I’m going to clean up quickly then you can hop in the shower, ok?” I nodded. “Are you all right?”
“Couldn’t be better.” I know I had a big cheesy smile on my face. Couldn’t help it.
“I meant physically. It was pretty difficult to hold back. You’re fault completely.”
“I’m all good everywhere.” I stretched possibly the best stretch of my entire life, elongating muscles I’d never used before, then thought about what he said. “Wait, what do you mean hold back?”
“I tried to be gentle because it was your first time. I didn’t want to hurt you anymore than necessary.”
“That was holding back?” He nodded with a slow grin. “What have I gotten myself into?”
“Just wait and see. There are so many very naughty things I want to do with and to you.” A quick kiss to my forehead then he got back up. The sink ran for a minute then he came back in a pair of boxers before I had time to obsess about his sheets. For that I was thankful.
In the shower, the warm water stung but soothed at the same time. Only letting the ends of my hair get wet, I jumped out in a jiff to find one of his t-shirts neatly folded on the counter. Stifling a giggle, I let it fall over my sore-in-all-the-right-places body, because I think I worked areas I didn’t remember having. Expecting to look different when I glanced in the mirror, nothing seemed out of place. The same girl looked back at me as always.
Cain thought of everything though. When I joined him back on the bed, I pretended not to notice that he’d changed the sheets. I could almost pretend not to know why it was necessary.
“Everything ok?” He asked, sitting against the headboard and pulling me beside him before covering our legs with the blanket.
“Better than ok.” Our eyes locked. “I hope you know how much I love you.”
“You have no idea, Flannery. No idea.”
I dozed off sitting with him but he didn’t move. When I woke sometime in the night the TV flickered across the room and he was asleep. After hitting the button on the remote, I pulled him down to spoon next to me. His arms tightened and I soon nodded back off.
We spent the weekend holed up in his apartment. And while parts of me were tender and we had to go slow, we soon found that neither of us could get enough of the other. And it wasn’t contained only to his bedroom either. Apparently there were moments, like at breakfast the next morning, that Cain found he just had to have me. I didn’t try to find my clothes until Sunday when I knew Sam could come back at any moment and that was the first time I put something on other than Cain’s t-shirt. But I did take the blue one home with me to add to my growing collection. Soon he’d have nothing of his own to wear.
After driving me home, super slowly, we stood outside my building, fingers intertwined, kissing until we were lightheaded.
“You could come in for a while,” I offered.
“No, I can’t. If I do I’ll never leave. And we both need to focus on finals.”
“We could study for nonverbal.” Even I had to smile at that innuendo.
“I think we’ve done that all weekend. There wasn’t much verbal going on now was there?”
“I guess not,” I sighed.
“And how much studying do you think we’d get done?”
“Probably not a lot. But that’s not my fault.”
“Yes it is.” His nose nudged mine. “You tempt me in ways that I can’t even explain.”
Finally, we forced ourselves apart so he could return to his car and I could go inside. Not even through the door, the first text came saying he missed me and loved me. A big smile smeared across my face and I turned, blew him a kiss then took off up the stairs.
“Where have you been young lady?” Kendra asked before I’d shut the door. “We have been calling and texting all weekend.” She and Ava were standing side by side arms across their chests like two mama bears about to pounce. Not answering, I passed them over for my room. They followed me in. “You whore,” she teased. “Did you finally put Cain Dorsey out of his misery?”
“More like he put me out of mine.”
That’s w
hen they descended. Like a pack of wolves asking a million questions. Was it good? Did it hurt a lot at first? How did he treat me after? They wanted every freaking detail. Some of which I answered. Some I didn’t. Enough of my life had been on display that I decided some things were not meant for public consumption. Even if that public were my two closest friends in the world.
***
With studying and finals keeping us busy, Cain and I found ways to be together even though we said we’d focus. We made time to fit in a lunch between tests or dinner before another long night of studying and things usually turned carnal. Not to say we had sex every time we were together but we always wanted to. Kendra said it was the honeymoon phase and it would eventually even out. I hoped it wouldn’t.
After the semester ended, Kendra and I were saying good-bye to friends, like Ava and Jared, who were off again, and moving into the furnished apartment we rented. For that task, we enlisted Cain, Sam, and Adam for the heavy lifting. I didn’t have that much but Kendra did. I don’t know how she fit everything into those tiny dorm rooms.
“Please say we’re done.” Cain flopped down onto the full size bed in my room. It wasn’t as big as his but enormous compared to the tiny super single in the dorm.
“I think we are.”
“You know, we could’ve moved your stuff into my place. I wouldn’t mind having you within arm’s reach at all times.”
I snorted. “Right. Some of us have to work this summer, and I think constant parties by some overindulgent seniors might get in the way of that.”
“Oh work shmerk.” Cain’s eyes followed me around the room ever watchful as I began putting clothes away.
“Besides, we only have two years until graduation and who knows where she and I will end up. It might be our only chance to hang out like this. I can’t leave her hanging.”
“I graduate next year and who knows where I’ll end up.”
I thought about that more than I cared to admit. The idea of me in Michigan and him somewhere else made me sick to my stomach. I’d always known it was a possibility he’d be offered a job somewhere else. By then I’d only have a year of school left. We would make it work then I’d join him wherever.
“Calm down, I plan on staying in Michigan.” He continued monitoring every movement when I tried to get back into action. “Are you going home at all?”
“I want to. One day a year isn’t enough to see my mom. And I actually have money for a plane ticket saved up because my food expense was very low this year for some reason.” I threw a smirk over my shoulder. “So, I’ll work a few weeks then hopefully get some days off in a row to fly out. Plus, I know Mom is waiting for me to get married.” My head shook without my realizing it. “God that’s weird to say.”
“I want to go with.”
“Really?” I smiled, ran and jumped on top of him as he fell back onto the bed again. “That would be great. Although Mom will make you sleep on the couch.” Then my face fell. “Actually, she’ll probably be living with Larry then and I don’t even know where that is let alone if it leaves me somewhere to stay.”
Cain rolled a lock of my hair between his thumb and index finger. “Don’t worry about it. We’ll stay in a nice hotel.”
“Why Cain Dorsey,” I put on my best but still bad southern, damsel in distress, accent. “Whatever would I do without you?”
“Let’s just not find out, okay?”
I could absolutely agree on that. And I couldn’t help myself. I had to kiss him. Once our lips touched, the world fell away.
And we claimed each other again in a way I never wanted to lose.
Epilogue
My neck craned over the crowd of people until I found my own private cheering section. Mom and Larry flew in the night before. Cain’s family, Jackson included, sat to the right. We were on good terms with Jackson after Cain told me about their “talk”. Apparently it included some violence, or at least threats of violence. Sam even made the trip in from California to see me, Adam, and Kendra graduate. The only person missing from that group was Cain but he sat on stage as an alumni speaker.
He’d surprised me the day he told me he’d accepted the invitation. Sure he was working his way up in a Fortune 500 company run by his father, he had a success story to share, but it didn’t seem to be his style.
Kendra and I never did move back to the dorm. We kept that small furnished apartment but only had a week after graduation before needing to move. I was sad to see it go. Memories, good ones, were made within those walls. Adam basically lived with us once junior year started, as soon as we moved in. I didn’t mind because I spent most of my time at Cain’s and hardly noticed. We were there in our little cozy living room when Kendra got her acceptance to law school. She wanted to stay in Michigan to be with Adam, not that she admitted it, who already secured a job in Grand Rapids. She wouldn’t be too far.
I had no idea what my future held. Even Ava got an entry level position with a publishing house in New York and Jared, they were on again, would be working at a firm in the city doing something financial that made my head hurt. Who knew he was smart? Which left me as the lost one among the group. No job waited for me and honestly, I didn’t even know where I’d be living. I did know, however, that I wasn’t going anywhere. Washington wasn’t home anymore. And I could always stay with Cain, who no longer had a roommate and a huge, great apartment closer to the city, until I figured things out.
Moving my focus back to the president of the university took more effort than it should have. I should’ve been interested in what he was saying. But I wasn’t. I wanted out of there to celebrate with my friends and family at Cain’s. A private party given for me by his parents. I loved them all so much.
Once President Porter said Cain’s name, my ears perked up. He looked great. Most people would’ve caved and worn the expected suit. Not him. He wore dress pants with a white button down shirt, top two buttons undone, sleeves rolled up to mid-forearm. Slightly messy hair. He looked hot even in grown-up mode.
Cain started with the same things everyone else said about enjoying the future, taking the world by the balls. Ok, I paraphrased. I pulled my cap off my head. Kendra and I began spinning ours like tops on our hands. It was too hot to keep it on not to mention the horrible hat hair we’d have. No one wanted that commemorated in pictures.
“My future has come more into focus recently,” Cain’s voice interrupted my thoughts again. “As some of you may remember, around this time two years ago a girl named Flannery Tate…” my heart and everything else stopped. Kendra grabbed my wrist, squeezing a little too hard. “…made an impassioned plea during the seventh inning stretch when we played Ohio.” How did he remember who we played? I didn’t even remember.
“That was my girl. Still is actually.” His eyes searched for my face in the crowd focusing in on me as best he could. “Flannery, that day you humiliated yourself in front of a few thousand people. I just figured it was my turn.”
“Let go of me,” I whispered harshly to Kendra who had effectively cut off the circulation in my hand.
“I sat next to this girl in Nonverbal Communications who had a quick wit and an even quicker penchant for violence.” Cain smiled widely and shook his head. “Fortunately, for me, her friend Adam seemed to be the most frequent target. Then and now.”
“You got that right,” Adam called out from somewhere to the right.
“Sorry, buddy. She’s so small you can’t help but find it adorable. Don’t worry though Adam I’ve been the target my fair share. There was a Valentine’s date that had me questioning my future ability to have kids.”
Laughter rippled through the crowd. I bit my lips together trying to stifle both the nervous energy and the laugh brewing in my chest.
“I knew if you could hit me there, on accident of course, and I could still laugh that I must’ve been falling in love with you. What convinced me was the first time you passed gas in front of me and I still wanted to see you naked.”
A
n embarrassing burn flooded my body. He did not just say that! I covered my face but Kendra nudged my shoulder hard enough to make my hands drop.
“She’s probably blushing about now.” He couldn’t see me clearly if there was any doubt in his mind.
“She is,” Kendra called out.
His smile grew as I peeked through my fingers. “I knew I was in love.” He cleared his throat. “Flannery, I need you to come up here, please.”
My body didn’t respond. I don’t think my brain communicated to the rest of me because Kendra had to pull me up. Then she unzipped my graduation gown, yanked the cap out of my hand and shoved hard. I started to wonder if she’d known he planned to do this because she’d picked out the sundress I wore for the occasion. I thought it fit a little too snug but she insisted it accentuated my figure in all the right ways. It was the slowest walk I’d ever made. It felt like running but in reality, if I took smaller steps I’d be going backwards.
Before I got to the stairs, I threw a glance over my shoulder again to my cheering section where my mom and his sat with their mouths covered and tears filling their eyes. His dad had the biggest shit-eating grin I’d ever seen and Sam gave me an encouraging nod then threw two thumbs up.
Questions flooded me. What the hell was Cain doing? Why did I need to go up there? My stomach dropped as realization set it. All of a sudden I knew what was coming, hadn’t expected it but everything pointed like a neon sign. Why would he do this in front of everyone? I hated being the center of attention. Hated having my life on public display as it had been two years before. My face burned at the thought.
I’d put myself out there two years before and he said it was his turn. He wanted me to know he was serious. He wanted everyone to know. My heart raced. I wasn’t sure I wouldn’t pass out.
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