My Monster

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My Monster Page 27

by Einat Segal


  “Revenna, control yourself and back away from the mortals,” commands the sphinx.

  Ashley takes two steps back, but her face twists and her shoulders twitch. “No!” she screams, walking one step toward me. “You said I could cut her in half and rip her eyes out! But now you’re giving her power? I’m going to make you bleed! I’m going to make both of you die!”

  Moving like a drunk with her feet dragging, she charges toward me.

  Like the sphinx magic and Landon, Revenna and Ashley don’t fit together. You’d think an immortal monster spirit would easily triumph over a wimpy human girl, but Ashley’s anger and determination are almost commendable—that is, if it wasn’t all directed toward killing me.

  I sidestep away from her outstretched arms that were obviously intended for my throat. See, Ashley? Nothing beats a good strangling. Why complicate everything with monsters?

  As she swings around to face me, the toes of her left foot bump against the heel of her right. I laugh poisonously. “Look at you go, Ashley,” I say, easily dancing away from her next attack. She’s not fast or in control of herself, and I’ve always had an aptitude for violence. “Wow. Good job, bitch, you’ve become a raving lunatic freak.” I dodge another attack. It looks like Ashley doesn’t have access to Revenna’s magic. “It’s not a surprise,” my mouth continues to speak. I’m going to win this. “You were always such a pathetic waste of space. Now you just made it real. Let me guess, they offered you power beyond imagining? You’re nothing but a meat puppet, Ashley, a gateway to me.”

  “Shut up, slut!” she shrieks. She finally manages to land one on me, grabbing me by my hair—not the hair!—and yanking me down. She’s insanely strong— inhumanly strong. I crash into the earth with so much force that my teeth clash together and every bone in my body gets bruised. “I’m going to shut you up forever.”

  Not good. Can’t be on the ground. I force my limbs to obey, rolling onto my knees. I scowl up at her. “Don’t you get it? I’m better than you. Even on my knees and you full of monster shit, you’re just trash and I’m still winning.”

  Ashley’s face convulses. “NO! YOU FUCKING DIE NOW! I’M GOING TO END YOU!” she screams, eyes bulging, and transforms into a gryphon—or tries to. It looks like her body blows up, bits of human mixing with bits of gryphon. Two barely formed wings on her hunched back, her bloated hands sprouting talons. Blonde hair mixes with feathers. A beak tears through her huge face that stands on a long neck. She towers at least nine feet above me, gruesome and disfigured.

  “Revenna, control yourself!” cries the sphinx. They all crowd around, tense and ready to spring.

  What are they waiting for? Why isn’t anyone doing anything?

  Only Landon lies on the ground, motionless. He catches my eye, his face pleading, but I show him nothing. Then he looks at the young man—the one who spoke before. “Emerin, kill Revenna now,” he commands in the same tone Revenna used.

  A geas, another one. The young man—Emerin—instantly goes into action, transforming into a huge bird made of fire of all colors. As a human, he’s just boring looking, but he’s the most beautiful monster out of the monsters I’ve seen. I know Esmeralda would have fainted from seeing so much elegant color and fluid movement in one creature.

  In size, the bird has nothing on the Ashley-Revenna mishmash. It’s only about the same size of a human. But it loops through the air once or twice before its body becomes straight and rigid, shooting forward with a musical cry.

  And like a bullet, it cuts clean through the center of Ashley-Revenna, leaving a huge gaping hole in its wake. I’m sprayed with blood and gore, my ears filling with her shriek. She slashes wildly through the air, trying to cut down the bird with her beak and barely formed talons. How the hell did that not take her down? My heart almost stops when one of her clumsy attempts misses the bird by just a little.

  But then her head darts toward me, and I know that Revenna isn’t in control and this is Ashley driving.

  Her attack is too fast, her reach too far. I see it coming, but I can't move away. I don’t want to close my eyes, but they close on their own.

  Shawn pushes me.

  He pushes me.

  And she gets him instead.

  I see how the talons carve from his chest to his stomach. And he’s down on the ground, and he’s bleeding, and his insides are outside.

  I start shrieking, my voice ripping through my throat. Ashley laughs triumphantly for just a minute before the bird attacks again, its beak slicing down, tearing her head in two. It continues to attack her. There’s a meaty sound when it cuts and cuts her, but I can do nothing but shake and look at Shawn.

  I scramble to my knees beside him. I touch his head. His body spasms, and he makes a wet gargling sound. There’s no first aid for this, or second aid, or anything. He’s completely cut open. I can see the white bones of his ribcage, and his organs—everything’s messed up. “FIX THIS!” I scream with everything in me. “LANDON, YOU DIPSHIT, FIX THIS!”

  “I can’t,” Landon says right by my ear. He materializes crouched next to me. “There’s nothing I can do.”

  “I swear to God, Landon, I will kill you if you let Shawn die,” I hiss.

  His pupils dilate. He takes my threat seriously—as he should. “I’ll try.” He doesn’t hesitate or try to convince me it’s impossible. He rises to his feet and transforms into a gryphon.

  Several things happen at once. A creature that’s half man, half goat appears, bringing with it a chilly mist, and suddenly the sphinxes are all frozen in blocks of ice. Many creatures come out from the forest, huge canines with wings of fire, human-sized salamanders, and tall cat-like men with bird wings and horns. Dianne is down on her knees, her arms bound behind her.

  “Hold him down, Sophie.”

  The dragon circles the dimming sky as Landon releases magic into Shawn. I’m sure it’s the sphinx magic Landon has been storing.

  I press Shawn’s shoulders down, but there’s no point. He’s silent, too silent. He doesn’t move, and he isn’t breathing. The wounds begin to close, but it’s useless. It’s not working. He’s already gone.

  A moment passes, and then another.

  I fall apart inside.

  The magic is over; there’s no more left. Everything becomes empty and quiet. The gryphon curls up on the ground, exhausted, before transforming back to Landon, and Sutherland, as a dragon, lands beside me.

  There’s nothing, just silence. Shawn is gone. He’s dead. I still press my hands to his shoulders.

  It didn’t work.

  “Sophie, I’m sorry.” Landon reaches for me. I flinch away.

  I hate him so much right now. He did this. This is his fault.

  Beneath my hands, there’s a sudden movement. Shawn’s healed chest rises, and he coughs out blood. He cries out, his body jerking. I scream—with joy—pressing down on him with my whole body as tears fall from my cheeks down to his face.

  I swallow, stroking Shawn’s cheek as he opens his eyes.

  And I gasp, because for a moment, they aren’t blue, but golden and glowing. The glow fades, and the blue is back. It’s the aftereffect of the magic, I tell myself. He sits up.

  Giddy, I hug him like I’ve never hugged anyone before. I’m shivering. I kiss his hair and neck, his cheeks and nose and chin and lips.

  I linger on his lips. I don’t care.

  He lets me. He doesn’t try to stop me. We tremble together, neither one of us capable of speaking. It takes a while until I’m calm enough to let him go.

  If he died, I would’ve . . .

  I glare at Landon who looks back at me warily. He knows he doesn’t have my heart anymore. The lies are piled too high for us. I don’t know where to find the truth.

  The monsters in the clearing—Sutherland’s army—transform back into their human shapes as the sphinxes are released from their ice and then, one after the other, bow down in surrender.

  “You won the battle that never happened, Summervell,” says
the leader poisonously.

  “That’s the only battle we can afford,” replies the dragon, the red ember-like glow from his mouth lighting up the night. He’s the only monster, aside from the sphinxes and the goat-man, who hasn’t transformed into his human shape. “You took the bait and walked right into our trap, Sella.”

  “It was a clever trap, planting that feather on the girl,” the sphinx replies begrudgingly. “You would not have found our location otherwise.”

  “It was more than that,” Landon says. “We knew you’d try to satisfy the vindictive nature of Revenna’s human host by plotting your move tonight of all nights.”

  Bait? Trap?

  I was bait? And Landon knew.

  He used me. He used Shawn. He used us.

  My fingers tighten into fists. This was all just part of their plan. Except Shawn’s injury. That was probably just a miscalculated casualty.

  “Orien can’t be trusted,” the sphinx leader says to the dragon. I agree with her there.

  “Keep your opinions to yourself, usurper,” replies Landon, crossing his arms. I don’t look at him. I can’t look at him.

  “Unlike other gryphons, Orien has always been loyal,” says Summervell. “He is almost predictable.”

  “You think he’s predictable? Dearie, dearie, me. One of the world’s last dragons has grown complacent,” says the big sphinx. “Hope is truly lost.”

  The dragon laughs. At the sound, the earth rumbles, and everyone present freezes as if turned to stone. Only the sphinxes begin to move. They flee as a turret of fire escapes the dragon’s mouth. The fire passes right by Shawn and me, and between all the monsters without so much as singeing anything. It chases the sphinxes, taking on the shape of a dragon. With the fire after them, they disappear into the forest.

  “They’ll be running forever?” Landon asks.

  “Only until they’re off the Americas,” replies the dragon, looking out into the distance, perhaps still watching the sphinxes no one else can see. “Unlike you, when I banish creatures off my continent, I give the punishment some bite.”

  Summervell turns his massive head, bending down his long neck to look closely at me and then at Shawn. “Interesting,” he says.

  I don’t like this.

  Shawn swallows. I can see beads of sweat glistening on his forehead. “What’s interesting?”

  “What you have done for this human should have been impossible.” Summervell ignores Shawn’s question and instead addresses Landon.

  “Yes.” Landon looks at me. “It should have been. There may be consequences.”

  “But do you have enough power to hatch her SET?” the dragon asks.

  “Not much power is required,” Landon says in a toneless voice, as if reading out of a book. “But she gets a choice. You promised me.”

  A growl that’s both vicious and like a purr sounds from the depths of Summervell’s throat. His wings open partially before folding again against his body. “You and I will give them all a choice, but fate won’t be as kind.”

  “Fuck you all,” I say weakly, and point up my chin. “That’s my answer.”

  “Ah, kitten, your faulty nature is so endearing,” says Summervell. “Immortality and vast power aren’t good enough for you, I see.”

  “You can shove that and everything else up your ass.”

  I get up stiffly from where I was sitting crouched by Shawn. I reach out, and he takes my hand, his blue eyes boring into mine as he rises to his feet too. We’re in the middle of nowhere. I don’t even know what state we’re in and how far from civilization, but we’re getting out of here. I trudge toward the forest, dragging Shawn after me.

  Irrational, I know. But that can be said about everything going on tonight.

  Except my decision.

  There’s a whole lot of moon tonight. The forest is bathed in silvery light. None of the monsters follow us.

  “Oh no . . .” Shawn says. He pulls his hand out of mine, takes a few steps away, and pukes on a shrub. When he heaves, it looks painful. My heart hurts seeing this. He’s pale, and his body is shaking. I pat his back until he’s done. He moves away from the shrub and sits on the foliage-covered ground.

  I settle down next to him. He leans against me.

  “I feel really strange,” he says.

  “They fucking planted a magical artifact inside your body, ripped you in half, and then brought you back to life,” I say. My voice is low and filled with rage that I can barely contain.

  He gives me a long look and then looks up at the forest canopy overhead. “We’re going to finish sulking here and go back, Fee. It’s no use. You’re going to have to hear them out.”

  “Says who?”

  “I want answers. You should too,” he says. “I just fucking talked to a dragon, Fee. I want to know everything I can. Whatever they’ll tell me. It’s not good to keep running. It’ll only hurt you.”

  I stare at him, completely disbelieving my own ears. “Shawn, they used you like storage. They’re not about to start treating you like a person. They’re monsters. They don’t treat each other like people.”

  “What do you know about treating people like people?”

  I open my mouth to answer but find that I have nothing to say.

  He blinks several times and then takes my hand. “I’m sorry. I’m the last person who has the right to say that, Fee.”

  “It’s fine, I know. I’m a monster too.” I shrug. It doesn’t matter.

  Okay, maybe coming from Shawn, it matters a little.

  “Fee, what I said isn’t true,” he says. He reaches out with his other hand and gently, playfully, tugs my earlobe. Hey, I lost an earring. “You don’t love many people, but you treat the people you do love like only they matter in the world. You know how long I wanted to be on the inside of the wall you put around yourself? I know you think you’re sick, like you’re a sociopath or something. But sociopaths can’t have exceptions. You’re much more complicated than a personality disorder.”

  He twines his fingers through my filthy, messy hair and leans in to whisper in my ear. “You’re a Sophiepath.”

  His words hit me. They hit me deep.

  I’m disarmed completely. I’m melting. No, I’m a puddle. Dammit, Shawn, why’d you have to touch me in the heart right now? Talk about inappropriate timing. I grab him by both shoulders and kiss him. Yes, it tastes terrible, but I don’t give a damn.

  I realize that this weird, addictive, sexy, and slightly repulsive emotion is actually love. This whole time, I thought I hated him. I thought that we were enemies, that he was crazy for thinking we were friends. But it took Landon’s lies for me to understand what’s real. It took someone who wants to change me for me to notice the person who would change for me. Warped and twisted, intricate and subtle, my hate was always too fond.

  It’s love. It’s my way of loving.

  My heartbeat rushes as he deepens the kiss. It’s familiar yet new. I’m afraid to touch his chest where the tatters of his shirt are still caked with blood.

  I pull away and look into his eyes. Then I remember that I almost lost him, and I begin crying. “Fucking hell, Shawn,” I say through my tears, the world’s cheesiest words ready to fall off my tongue. “I love you.”

  “I love you, too, Fee” he replies with a chuckle, his eyes twinkling. “Now, was that so hard?”

  Before he can continue to gloat, I shut him up with a kiss.

  “Now that you two have that figured out,” Landon says, “it’s time for us to talk.”

  Shawn and I both jump apart. I can’t believe how guilty I feel when I’m supposed to be feeling nothing but anger and betrayal. I turn my head to face reality.

  * * *

  Maybe there’s something about Landon that prevents me from feeling anything but attraction toward him. Maybe it’s because with him, I got exactly what I was hoping for. I got his body, but I never found the real Landon. I saw glimpses of him, but they were always shrouded by big and distant things that I
couldn’t—or couldn’t bring myself to—understand.

  But the fog has lifted from my brain. Some of my emotional pathways were zapped open by the shock of what happened here tonight. If I can’t discover some of myself in a time like this, when will I?

  “I’d like to speak with you alone, Sophie, please.” Landon’s face is hard, and his voice lacks familiarity.

  “Why?”

  “It’s necessary,” he says softly, his golden eyes looking sideways. “It’s the last thing I’ll ever ask you. Please talk to me, alone.”

  I swallow. I want to say no, but Shawn’s right; that’d be running away, and I don’t want this particular problem chasing after me.

  “I can’t just leave Shawn here,” I finally say. I know it sounds like an excuse, but it’s not. “He’s not well.”

  “I’m fine,” Shawn lies. He’s usually a much better liar. “Go talk to him and come back.”

  “Emerin,” Landon says. The young man with the plain face materializes out of nowhere, standing next to Landon with his arms crossed and a scowl twisting his mouth. “This is the phoenix of Phoenix,” Landon says. “He’ll watch over Shawn until you get back.”

  I look at Emerin, who looks at me and rolls his eyes. I squeeze Shawn’s hand before getting up. “If anything happens to him, it’s on your head, Arizona,” I say.

  “Don’t worry,” Emerin answers darkly, “we already did every bit of damage we could do to him short of killing him.”

  “You get to babysit me, huh?” Shawn says with a smirk.

  “Shut up.”

  I follow Landon deeper into the forest, shooting a few glances toward Shawn over my shoulder. It’s almost completely dark now, and soon, I can’t see them at all. “So that phoenix guy is your slave?” I ask.

  “I’m unable to speak of it,” Landon says, his voice cool. I don’t think he’s ever spoken to me this way before. “But you know that.”

  “How dare you be angry at me,” I say, replying to his tone rather than his words, “after what you did and how you used Shawn and me.”

 

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