by Lizzy Ford
Bad deeds for the better good. Similar to Wynn, her brother had chosen to unbalance his own soul to protect others.
Was there no higher calling than to sacrifice oneself for others? How had she never realized this? Worse, how had she judged others for only their misdeeds without understanding the context, the reasoning, the ultimate impact on good and evil in the world?
What would she see when she confronted her own soul?
She had never considered her own balance, either.
At the edge of the abyss, Karma began to comprehend everything she was supposed to have been and every flawed thought and action she’d ever committed. It took being crushed by her mate for her to realize who she always should have been.
And now it’s too late, she thought bitterly.
Raphael was smiling.
“I am guilty,” she said firmly. “I will do what you say. Is there anything else to this judgment?”
“Nothing,” Raphael confirmed.
This time, she caught his mistake. Wynn had taught her about the importance of timeframes. Raphael assumed she’d be as easy to undermine the second time as she had been the first, when she’d naively made a deal she thought she could deliver upon.
“Very well,” Karma said. She crossed her arms, as if she were preparing to balance herself, and then paused. “Although, you didn’t specify when I have to balance myself.”
The calm within her cracked. The storm of overwhelming emotion obliterated the flimsy dam she’d attempted to create to protect others from what she could be, if she no longer cared.
“Unfortunately for you, I no longer have anything to lose,” she said quietly in a lethal tone. “But you do.”
Her hair and eyes went black, as did the air around her.
Either way, she was lost, but she wasn’t going down without taking as many deities as she could with her. Karma released all restraint and let her emotion and power envelop her.
Raphael retreated, aware of her power whereas the others weren’t.
Karma snatched the neck of the nearest god. She didn’t bother learning his name but pulled his misdeeds from the depths of his soul and began to crush him based on those alone. She held no interest in balance whatsoever – only in dragging everyone around her into the abyss by her side. Nothing anyone could do could stop her, once she touched him or her.
She lifted him off the ground, relishing the euphoria balancing always brought her. She lost herself in the sensations, running from the pain and sorrow swirling within her, and diving headfirst into the chaos. She lost all sense of time, of self, of what she did. Balancing was a drug, one she couldn’t get enough of, one that was somehow not strong enough to overpower her growing despair. She let her emotions swallow her with the hope of never returning to her mind again before her own looming death.
The air around her sizzled with power for fifty meters in each direction. It paralyzed the deities who tried to summon portals and ensnared her prey. Too intoxicated to care or count, Karma dropped one god and moved to the other then the next then the next. She summoned more deities, intent on destroying all of them before she, too, was gone. Her pain was too great for her to bear alone; she would inflict it upon those she judged and they, too, would suffer alongside her before they all died-dead.
Lost in her senses and emotions, Karma closed her eyes to the world with the knowledge she’d never open them again. The images in her mind were not of those she balanced but of Wynn, of how he touched her and looked at her, of their wild night together and all she had read in his soul, his autobiography ...
His heart. It was the most mysterious part of him. She had doubted its existence even when she told him about it. If not for witnessing him lose all control and succumb to his passion, she would’ve continued to doubt herself. The walls around him had tumbled the night before, and she’d witnessed true love in the way he looked at her.
But it wasn’t enough. She wasn’t enough. The most powerful goddess in existence wasn’t enough to tempt him away from his selfish goal.
The thoughts she assumed would be her last had nothing to do with balancing but with bitter triumph at knowing she’d found Wynn’s heart and pushed away the walls surrounding it.
But I was too late, she thought again. Had she not been so disturbed by their first encounter, she could have had several weeks with him instead of three nights. Would it have been enough to convince him to stay with her? To give up his plan?
Could she have lived with knowing he’d unhappily sacrificed everything for her? He’d no doubt regret giving up his dream for a woman he considered his vulnerability.
Karma couldn’t imagine the answers to the questions, and in truth, they no longer mattered. She channeled her fury and sadness into balancing, radiating her pain to the world around her and consuming anyone in her path.
Twenty-Eight
“I was almost unanimously nominated to find you,” said a quiet, female voice behind Wynn. “Except for Rhyn. He violently opposed and was put down by a demon tranquilizer Kris had stashed somewhere in the castle where he knew you wouldn’t look.”
Wynn ignored Katie, who entered the place-between-places behind him.
“The boys think you have a soft spot for strong women.”
“You’re wasting your time, Katie,” he replied.
“Maybe,” she allowed. Her eyes drifting to the gods and goddesses he summoned faster and faster. “But here’s the thing. Stephanie is dead-dead and in Hell. For some reason, the boys all disappeared after I was nominated to talk to you. If history is any indication, the lack of Council is probably going to cause the Immortals to implode or open another rift between here and Hell. Or both. Or worse. It’s kind of hard to tell. Bad stuff is happening, Wynn.”
Wynn missed a beat and then continued.
“Oh, and Karma is in trouble, if you care.”
“Of course, I …” Wynn stopped himself.
“Really? Cuz it doesn’t look like it.”
“You have no idea what I’m doing, human.”
“If I had to guess, it would be letting those you care about destroy themselves while you pursue a personal agenda in the hopes you can escape your feelings,” she said.
Wynn’s focus fell away. He glared at her.
Katie was watching the last deity walk through a portal in mild interest.
“I can better serve those around me as a deity. I’ll have the power of an eternity of information at my hands,” he said.
“Yeah, but everyone will be dead by then.”
Wynn had never wanted to murder the messenger as much as he did now. It wasn’t only her blunt words that bothered him but the fact that somewhere, deep inside him, he knew it all to be true. He was at war with himself and hoping to stave off the inevitable truth until it was too late to do anything about the fates of those around him.
Feeling the intensity of his gaze, Katie looked up at him, unafraid.
“You’re not going to intimidate me like you do everyone else, Wynn.” She smiled. “I’m the only human in history to survive both Hell and the Underworld. My husband is an ill-tempered demon with the power of a god, and my daughter farts fireballs. You won’t lay a hand on me and even if you did, the Dark One and Death already tried their best. For all our faults, we little humans are pretty resilient.”
“And foolish.”
“Yep. Probably the other reason I was voted to come here.”
“I’ve got work to do.” He stepped away from her.
“By all means. Destroy your family and the world. I’ll just stand over here and watch.”
Wynn hissed out a sigh.
“Hell sucks, by the way. You know that, and so do I,” Katie added. “Stephanie’s about to figure that out. Andre seems to think that’s where the boys are, too.”
“There’s nothing I can do as an Immortal.” Even he didn’t believe the lie.
“If you say so.”
Wynn’s face flushed with anger. Rhyn’s saucy mate was start
ing to get to him.
“What do you want, Katie?” he snapped.
“I want to know what to tell your granddaughter when she asks why the Immortals are gone and we’re hiding from demons with the last remnants of humanity.”
“It won’t come to that. I’ll ensure it.”
“Right.”
Unable to focus, Wynn whirled to face her. “You’ve said enough. You need to leave.”
“Am I pissing you off, Wynn?”
“You’re a distraction. Nothing more.”
“Guess I need to try harder.” Katie gazed at him. “If this was about anything except your ego, you’d realize those around you need you as an Immortal, not a god.”
“I have spent two lifetimes serving the greater good and safeguarding everyone around me. This is my reward. What I do with my life is my choice.”
“If you truly believe that …” She sighed. “I’ll leave you alone if you answer one question.”
“What?” he snapped.
“Are you really willing to sacrifice everyone you care about and the worlds you’ve safeguarded to become a useless god?” she asked. “Because if you take this step, you definitely will.”
Wynn’s teeth were clenched. He glared at her, and it dawned on him why she of all people had come to confront him.
Katie was mostly human with a drop of Immortal blood from many generations passed. She was the preferred prey of demons, the reason Wynn had maintained an Immortal army, the species that couldn’t negotiate with deities for favors or special treatment or even defend itself.
She was vulnerable in every way possible, from her fragile human body - which could never withstand what an Immortal could - to her short life span, to the inability to bear true power or influence like an Immortal or god could. In the grand scheme of things, a human’s life was a speck of dust, a second of time, a drop of water in a hurricane, an accidental creation. They were nothing – and everything Wynn had spent two lifetimes safeguarding. Two healed breaches, thousands of demon attacks, negotiations conducted among hundreds of deities, unified Immortals … He’d done it to preserve not only the race of Immortals, but to ensure the continued existence of the humans they shared their world with.
Katie represented all the lives Wynn had saved, and all of those he’d lost. Her unlikely existence was a direct result of everything he’d done.
In the back of his mind, Wynn suspected this was the real reason his sons had sent her. This chess move had Andre written all over it.
“According to Gabe, Karma’s lost it, Wynn,” Katie said, concern entering her voice. “Gabe’s going to take her out, and Fate might as well be dead after what happened to Stephanie.”
Wynn was silent.
“Stephanie committed suicide by demon, and Karma may be trying really fucking hard to commit suicide by deity,” Katie mused. “And here you are, not giving a shit about anyone but yourself. Why did you even bother saving the worlds, if you’re just going to destroy them?”
Wynn’s eyes didn’t leave the features of his son’s mate. Katie was scared. He heard it in the tension of her voice. But she didn’t back down, because she fought for something outside of her. She was there for her daughter and mate.
Katie folded her arms across her chest. “Your decision is simple. If you care about your family, show them. If you care more about becoming a god, then keep doing what you’re doing. You won’t have to worry about your family getting in the way when you’re done. We’ll all be dead. It should make your life a whole lot easier.”
“Fuck you, Katie.” The soft words left his mouth before he could stop them.
“Back at ya,” she replied, unfazed.
Wynn paced away and ran his fingers through his hair. Every time he moved, he smelled Karma’s scent on his skin.
He threw back his head, staring into the infinite darkness above. He was beyond the point where he could separate his mind and emotions, beyond the ability to reason or follow any single train of thought.
He could only feel.
He felt angry and devastated and self-loathing. He experienced euphoria when he thought of Karma, fury when he considered that his children were all under the control of Darkyn, fear when he realized he was going to harm all he’d sought to protect.
“When in doubt, follow your heart,” Katie said. “That’s what humans do. Not sure what you sadistic assholes do.”
He closed his eyes and recalled the night with Karma. He’d thought it would be the last – and secretly prayed it wasn’t.
He released a breath.
When Wynn imagined his two options – godhood or his family – some of his inner conflict fell away.
He could visualize a life without being a god.
He couldn’t visualize living without Karma.
He hadn’t wanted to view his choices this starkly before. He hadn’t wanted to consider what he would lose – only what he’d gain. He hadn’t wanted to acknowledge the truth that he couldn’t have both his godhood and stability among Immortals and humans.
If he continued, he’d lose Karma, his family, and possibly, the Immortals he’d spent two lifetimes safeguarding. Darkyn would win their chess game, and all the knowledge in the universe wouldn’t reverse what was about to happen.
He’d avoided being honest with himself, because he already knew what his heart had decided. He had preferred madness to the truth for too long.
His heart. Karma claimed it had always guided him. If he lost it, Wisdom would never be the protector he was capable of being as an Immortal.
“I’ll let you hold Hazel,” Katie said, cautious hope in her tone. “She’s a quarter demon. You two might get along.”
Wynn met her gaze again. With his decision, his emotions settled enough for him to start to think logically again about what the fuck he’d almost done.
“Tell me what happened to Stephanie,” he directed her quietly.
“From what we can gather, she had a horrible plan to have Darkyn kill her,” Katie responded. “Andre thinks she meant to have Darkyn resurrect her, but it appears to have gone wrong.”
“She wanted to stop me by removing herself from the equation and therefore leaving the Council vulnerable.”
“Kris said, to beat you, she’d have to be willing to do what you wouldn’t.”
“Impressive effort, though ill advised,” he stated. “I take it she did it without talking to her mate first about how not to make a deal with Darkyn.”
“You see what happens if you’re not around?” Katie returned. “Everything goes to shit.”
“I’ll take care of it.”
“Seriously?”
“Seriously.”
She studied him. “For the record, I still think you’re a dick.”
“And I still admire you.”
Katie smiled, and warmth touched her features for the first time in their short history of interacting.
“Gabe’s going to kill Karma. You might want to stop him,” Katie advised. “Stephanie should be fine for now. She’s not getting any deader.”
Wynn focused on Karma, and one of the portals blinked. He strode through and emerged into a familiar field. Tendrils of black that moved like smoke but were solid stretched across the field in every direction. Gods and goddesses were caught in the tendrils, frozen in horror, their bodies being drained of life. Karma was hidden at the center of a writhing mass of darkness and tendrils at the center of the carnage.
Wynn’s breath caught, not because of the display of power he knew her to possess, but because of what it meant. He’d seen Karma distraught, crying, infuriated, and happy.
This was Karma in pain.
I did this to her. His insides twisted and his chest was almost too tight to breathe. He was once more trapped in feeling instead of thinking, in the horror of how much she suffered. For all his talk and work of safeguarding others, Wynn had failed the person who mattered most. Her pain was destroying her and others.
Wynn had never experienc
ed despair or desperation in either of his Immortal lives. Karma’s pain filled him with both, and what was left of the walls around his emotions vaporized in the face of what he’d done to his mate. Every action had consequences, but he hadn’t wanted to acknowledge the impact of his decisions on her. Witnessing it left no room for any further denial.
“She’s done, Wynn.” Gabriel’s voice was low, hard.
Reeling from emotions, Wynn tore his attention from the center of the destruction to Death, who stood beside him. Gabriel and Wynn alone were left untouched by Karma’s power. The tendrils melted into fog at their feet. Gabriel carried a dagger with a barbed blade.
“I can stop her,” Wynn said.
“You told me once before you knew your limits and couldn’t. This shit” Gabriel waved at the field, “cannot go unanswered.”
“I’m calling in my final favor with you,” Wynn said. “If I can’t talk her down, you kill us both.”
Death stared at him, surprise on his features.
“Just give me ten minutes,” Wynn added softly.
“Wynn – “
“I don’t want to live without her.”
The muscles in Gabriel’s cheek jumped. He hesitated.
“That’s the deal, Gabriel.”
“You won’t become a god this way,” Death said.
Wynn offered his hand in response.
Gabriel studied him and then shook his hand. “Ten minutes,” he warned. “That’s it.”
Wynn walked towards Karma. The fog and darkness parted for him, swirled at his feet, and filled in the wake he left. He reached the mass at the center of the field and stepped into it without hesitation. One step turned to five then ten then twenty.
The center of Karma’s storm was calm, quiet, and free of darkness. She sat in the middle, knees pulled to her chest and arms wrapped tightly around them. Her hair was ebony. Her sobbing shattered what was left of his heart.
Dying felt cold and dark and lonely. Karma had hoped her mind would simply stop and take her pain with it. Instead, she felt more intensely than ever before, and no amount of balancing could counter it. She waited to feel her bond with Wynn break, for her brain to cease functioning and her heart to stop. She waited for the abyss to swallow her as it did her surroundings.