Time Out of Mind

by Ruth Hay

  “Yes. Kyle sometimes called her Dizzy Izzy when they were both in a good mood.”

  “I think it may be significant, Philip, that Isobel is not in the wedding photo. If there was an unexpected pregnancy coming between our father and his new wife, it is reasonable to assume that she was persona non grata at their wedding.”

  “Of course, Anna! That makes perfect sense.”

  After a moment, Philip continued, as he remembered a question he needed to ask.

  “There’s another point I want to clear up. A few minutes ago you referred to your father as Angus T. R. McLeod? What do the middle initials stand for?”

  “I think the names were Thomas and Rutherford, but I can call Simon to confirm, if you want.”

  “No need, Anna. Those are my middle names exactly.”

  Silence fell as they turned to look into each other’s faces. Both were searching for the same thing. Some tiny resemblance to a father one had loved dearly, and the other had never known at all.

  Anna broke the silence to state firmly, ‘When you meet my brother you will see a clearer picture of my father than you do with me, Philip. I am more like my mother.”

  “Are you suggesting I should travel to Canada?”

  “You must! You have a whole branch of the family tree to get to know over there!”

  “And, another branch, much neglected, that I must re-connect with in England.”

  “Well, Philip, if your great-niece Caroline is any example of that branch, you are in luck, I would say!”

  “Indeed! I will make a deal with you, Anna. If you will come south to Sussex with me and meet my family, I will come to Canada with you and meet Simon’s.”

  “You’ve got a deal!” exclaimed Anna, and she rose to shake Philip’s hand. Somehow the handshake became a brief hug and they separated laughing.

  “Just one more serious question, if I may?”

  “Yes, Philip?”

  “I was wondering if you had any idea what part the fourth person in the wedding party might be have played? My mother’s photo has her name.”

  “No idea at all. If we had even one clue, I would ask my friend Andrew, who is a genius at this kind of research, to investigate for us. He was responsible for unravelling the childhood of my great-aunt Helen, the former owner of this house.”

  “Perhaps we will learn something about that young woman one of these days. If not, the wedding picture has certainly done its work for now.”

  Anna walked over to a beautiful piece of furniture taking pride of place on the back wall of the kitchen. Philip recognized it as a particularly fine example of an oak, Welsh dresser.

  She removed two crystal glasses from a shelf and holding one out to Philip, she said, “In Scotland, as I have learned, Philip, occasions like this are marked by the pouring of a libation of the finest malt whisky.

  Will you join me in a dram?”

  “With the greatest of pleasure, my dear.”

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  On her way home, after returning James and Caroline to their respective accommodations for the night, Fiona dropped in to update Andrew and Jeanette on the exciting events of the day.

  Ever since her Granny had died the previous winter, Fiona had found a second home with Anna’s solicitor and his Canadian wife. Their fifteen-month-old son, Liam, was like a baby brother to Fiona. Although her busy life as a student, training as a Scottish Wildlife scientist, and also one half of a local private taxi service, did not allow much time for babysitting, she knew she was always welcome with the couple.

  “So, what are they like? Did they love the house? Is James’ girl cute?”

  “Hold on a minute, Jeanette! Let the poor girl catch her breath for pity’s sake.”

  “Right you are, Andy. I apologize, Fiona. I’ve been stuck in here all day wondering what was happening and no one has sent me word.”

  “I doubt they would have had time yet, Jeanette,” explained Fiona. “They didn’t arrive at the farm house until about five and after we all ate, Anna and the older man, Philip, were talking together on their own. That’s the way it was when I left there.”

  Jeanette was disappointed to hear this news but she soon recovered and insisted that Fiona sat down at the kitchen table and delivered every detail about the visitors.

  “Well, Philip is about as tall as Anna and has white hair and tanned skin so I think he travels a lot. He seemed a bit uptight, if you know what I mean, but it was hard to tell since everyone was talking at once.”

  “The poor man probably couldn’t get a word in edgewise once all those Canadians got going,” added Andrew as he picked up Liam and took him off to bed.

  “You’d think Scots were quiet and polite when they get together!” said Jeanette with a scathing glance at Andrew’s retreating back. “Anyway, never mind him. What was the girl like?”

  “Now, you know I would tell you if I knew, Jeanette, but really, I just saw her talking to James for a while.”

  “Well, that’s good enough for a start. How did they seem together?”

  “He likes her all right. You could tell from the way he pulled out a seat for her and passed food to her.”

  “He is a remarkably polite boy, of course, Fee. That doesn’t tell me much.”

  Fiona searched her mind for more details for her friend. If she had been asked to describe a forest plant or a wild animal she would have talked for hours, but people did not make the same impact on her.

  “She’s kind of petite and has a spiky sort of hairstyle and dark eyebrows. She was wearing jeans, I think. Oh, and James wanted to show her round Oban. I dropped them off there for a couple of hours and then picked them up and drove them back to the farm house and Kirsty’s cottage.”

  “Aha! And who is staying at Kirsty’s?”

  “Just Bev and her boys.”

  “I knew it!” Jeanette’s delighted exclamation surprised Fiona.

  “What do you mean?”

  “How could you have missed that, Fiona? Alan Matthews was attracted to Bev the minute they met.”

  Fiona was astounded to hear this conclusion. She had collected Anna’s Canadian friends at the train station after their trans-Atlantic flight, but she had not realized Bev had even met Alan and his mother in only a week or so in Scotland.

  “So, were they holding hands at all?”

  “Who?”

  “Caroline and James, of course!”

  “I really didn’t notice, Jeanette. I’m sorry.”

  “Oh, you’re just like Andrew! No imagination. He has taken a lawyer’s vow of client secrecy and you can’t see anything that hasn’t fur or feathers. Never mind, I love you both anyway!”

  “Oh, we know!” stated Fiona with a grin.

  “Now, away with you, as they say in these parts. You have a day at the vet’s with Dr. Moir tomorrow and you’ll need your sleep. They tell me he’s more bad tempered than usual at the moment. Do you think Anna’s turning him down after just two dates has anything to do with that?”

  “Honestly, Jeanette! You are a terrible gossip! Dr. Moir’s a pussy cat at work, although he gets along with animals better than people. By the way, did Anna tell you he has arranged for us to go and see Sylvester soon?”

  “You two and that ferocious, big wildcat! You are a crazy pair altogether!”

  “Well, he still thinks of us as his mothers, you know. He always remembers our smell and comes over to see us. His first weeks in the kitchen of the farm house left a strong impression on him and he seems to know we saved his life that spring.”

  Jeanette soon switched topics with the lightning speed that characterized her thinking. Fiona had long ago resigned herself to this strange mental quirk.

  “But now that you mention it, Fee, I can get that decorating done in the twin room upstairs if Anna will be away for a day. Did you see the new side tables I found for the lounge? They are fabulous antiques. Liam and I scoured the countryside for them.”

  Fiona just smiled and hoped Jeanett
e would take that for assent. She knew her friend was a talented interior designer who had worked on Anna’s house while she was back in Canada, but for Fiona’s taste, the tiny but-and-ben where she had lived with her Granny, was perfection; old and shabby as it might seem to others. The spirit of her Granny infused every inch of the place with the happiest of memories and walking through the front door restored peace to Fiona no matter the stresses of her busy days.

  It was there, in solitude, she planned her future; the future that Anna had ensured when she coached Fiona through her online secondary school courses.

  Fiona suspected, and hoped, that Anna thought of her as a daughter. Since Fiona had lost both parents at an early age, she was more than happy to fill that role whenever Anna wished.

  * * *

  As soon as Anna had settled her guests in their respective rooms, she stepped outside her back door and breathed deeply of the cool, night air. Her eyes were drawn inevitably upward and if she had had the time, she would have trekked slowly up the worn track marking the hillside that commanded the sky behind the farm house. She always called it Helen’s Hill and although she had never met the relative who was her benefactor, she often chose to think things over and talk to Helen on the top of that hill.

  Tonight she had other priorities, however. It was still early in Canada and her Samba friends were waiting to hear the outcome of the meeting with Philip.

  Anna took out her cell phone and pressed the button for Susan’s number. After only two rings she heard Susan’s voice.

  “Hi, this is Susan. It had better be you, Anna!”

  Anna laughed out loud at her friend’s eagerness to hear the news.

  “Of course, it is. I knew you would be waiting with bated breath.”

  “Well, how did it go today?”

  “Susan, I can hardly describe the feelings I have. It will take me a few days to put it all together, but I can tell you my family has increased by, I don’t know how many, in just one day.”

  “Let me get this straight, now. You are saying Philip Purdy, the famous English architect, is related to you?”

  “We are almost positive we are half-brother and sister.”

  “Anna! That’s incredible! What a coincidence that you found him after so many years. I am so happy for you my dear friend. How is Simon taking it?”

  “I will call him as soon as we are finished here. Can you pass on the news to Maria for me and please tell Alina that I will be in touch tomorrow. James brought back some interesting retail prospects for our newest A Plus lines from his Lake District trip, and I want to get onto that immediately?”

  “I’ll do that right away, Anna. They’ll be thrilled for you. Before you sign off, how is Bev enjoying her holiday?”

  “Bev has had a great time in Scotland, just like I said she would. And it’s possible she has clicked.”

  “Clicked? What does that mean? It sounds like a painful ailment!”

  “No!” Anna laughed out loud. “It’s an expression they use here. It just means she may have found a boyfriend. You remember me talking about my nearest neighbours? Kirsty Matthews was the one who nursed me through the awful flu scare I had. Alan is her son. He farms their croft and is the local shepherd.”

  “Interesting! How did they meet?”

  “I invited the Matthews over for a meal one night and it went from there.”

  “Do you think it’s likely to be serious, Anna?” Susan’s inquiry was based on her knowledge of Bev’s many years of sacrifice bringing up her boys alone, after the death of her soldier husband.

  “I don’t want to guess about that, Susan. They live in two distant countries and their lifestyles couldn’t be more of a contrast.”

  “True! Yet miracles do happen. Look what happened to you today!”

  “Oh, Susan! You are right, of course. I won’t presume to predict the outcome of anything ever again.”

  “Sleep well, my friend.”

  “I will. And thanks again for phoning for me. Goodnight, Susan.”

  Anna closed her phone and sighed contentedly. She looked upward again, appreciating the modern convenience of instant connection. She would call Simon in a minute or two.

  Far above her head, stars would be reflected in the tarn hidden at the summit of Helen’s Hill.

  Anna’s heart rejoiced at the thought that this beautiful place was hers to share with family and friends forever, just the way Helen had wanted it to be.

  * * *

  Caroline found it strange to be back home in Sussex again. Everyone seemed the same to her but she felt she had changed so much. Her mother and father welcomed her with open arms, of course. They said how much they had missed her and Mike had actually smiled when he first saw his sister. Gran Lynn insisted on hearing everything Philip had said and done while in Scotland and what his future plans were.

  It was super to catch up with her pals from school and they were more than eager to share in her adventures, particularly those she had had with Jay.

  And yet ……….. Caroline felt as if something was missing. She couldn’t help comparing her life with Jay’s. He was only a few months older than she, but he had a career well started.

  In addition to his tech work with A Plus, he spent time each year taking online business courses. His future seemed assured, while she had no clue what she would be doing in the autumn.

  It was time to take stock. What did she want to be doing in five years from now?

  Swim coach? Youth worker? Health services manager? Social worker?

  Perhaps she could work in the travel business like her mother? Perhaps she could study in another country? The possibilities were endless but the decisions were endless also.

  Summer was drawing to a close and choices would have to be made soon.

  * * *

  These ruminations were halted by the sudden summons to Mayfield Manor.

  Caroline had not returned there since her departure for the Lake District but her mother and grandmother had visited while she was away.

  The news was not good. The great-grandmother Caroline had nicknamed Gigi, was fading fast. The family decided to say their final goodbyes in stages, so as not to overwhelm the nursing home staff’s routines.

  Caroline and Mike went first. Mike was amazed at the reaction his sister received when they arrived. Everyone seemed to know her and they exclaimed at the positive changes she had brought about with her school project. Mike realized he should have paid more attention back in May when all that had started.

  Caroline spoke softly to her great-grandmother and held her hand. She could see that the old lady was thinner and even more withdrawn than when they had last met. She said goodbye and could not prevent tears from clouding her eyes as she looked back from the doorway for the last time. So much had happened to her since her first reluctant visit to this room.

  Sarah and David came next. Sarah was shocked at her grandmother’s deterioration. Her mouth was open and her breathing sounded rough. The staff informed Sarah that her grandmother had refused food for two days now. The doctor reported her body’s systems were shutting down one by one.

  Sarah gazed in horror as she projected forward and imagined her own beloved mother in the final stages of life. She turned to David and grasped his hands in hers.

  “No matter what we have to do, no parent of ours will end up like this. Agreed?”

  Her husband just closed his eyes in acknowledgement and they left the room soon after.

  Caroline’s Gran Lynn was the last to arrive. She was not alone. A frantic phone call to her brother two days before, had resulted in the arrival of both Philip and Anna.

  Lynn’s delight at meeting Anna had to be put aside for the time being while they both concentrated on the difficult matter of bidding farewell. Anna waited on a chair outside the room as Philip went in with his sister.

  After five minutes or so, Lynn emerged alone and asked Anna to go inside to join Philip.

  Anna had already decided, on the tr
ip south from Scotland, what she would say to the old lady.

  She found Philip in some distress as he sat by the bedside stroking his mother’s arm and hand.

  He reached out with his free hand, for Anna’s hand, and then turned to his mother.

  “Mother, it’s me, Philip. Perhaps you can’t hear me but there are things I must say to you.

  I am sorry for leaving you the way I did with no explanation, and for rejecting all the attempts you made to get in touch with me again. I did not understand.

  I now know a little more about your life and I deeply regret my choices. Please, mother, forgive me for my mistakes, as I wholeheartedly forgive you.”

  Philip lowered his head to hide the tears that fell, but he felt a slight pressure on his hand from the frail fingers of his mother.

  Anna stepped forward and bent down to the old woman’s ear.

  “Isobel, I am here to bring you a message from Angus McLeod, my father, who you knew as Gus. He remembered you and Philip all his life and at the end he was sad for the way things turned out. I know my father would want me to ask you to forgive him, if you can.”

  Anna sat down again and remained linked by hand to Philip as he was linked to his mother.

  The harsh breathing of the dying woman was the only sound in the room. Philip and Anna watched Isobel’s face and saw her lips move. They could not tell what she said but they heard one deep sigh and then silence.

  Anna was the first to speak. “She’s at peace now, Philip. We have done all that we could do.”

  * * *

  Outside in the new garden of Mayfield Manor, birds sang and trees rustled in the breeze.

  The family gathered there to comfort Lynn and Philip, and to meet Anna for the first time.

  Caroline was delighted to see how well the garden had progressed since her last visit. She put her arms around her mother and father and dragged Mike into the embrace, announcing to everyone, “I know this is an ending of one kind, but I feel as if it is a new beginning also.”