Will pipes up, “There has to be a way. I can’t believe he was that close and I didn’t see his face.”
Pieces of information and various thoughts fly around my brain, but one thought is abundantly clear to me, “I have to talk to Ashley. I know we don’t know for sure if that’s who she was with, but I still have to warn her. I can’t stand her, but I wouldn’t wish what happened to me on my worst enemy.”
She laughed and then he laughed, it just makes sense.
“I’ll go with you” Will says.
Turning to Will, I place my hand on his cheek and he leans into my palm, “No, this is something I have to do on my own. You know as well as I do she’ll respond better if it’s just me. I don’t want it to seem like we’re ganging up on her. But, thank you for the offer.”
He smiles a sad smile knowing I’m right, but I can tell he doesn’t like it. Turning his head, he kisses the palm of my hand. “You are the bravest girl I know.”
That is probably the best compliment that he could give me. Before all of this, hearing I looked nice was enough, but now, being brave has a whole new meaning. I smile warmly at him before turning to my mom and Charlie. “Last night I heard him and just shut down. I couldn’t think of anything else.”
Charlie, who’s been quiet this whole time, speaks up. “You were in shock T. I could see it all over you. Not until you knew that you were completely safe did you finally calm down and fall asleep.”
“I was a mess.” I shake my head, vaguely recalling the previous night. “I just knew I had to get away and get home. When I heard him, it was like a bucket of ice cold water being dropped on me and I couldn’t move, like being frozen in place. I had to force my feet to move. This morning, though, waking up and seeing the three of you here with me, I feel safe and protected. I feel I can face anything after last night. Maybe next time I’ll handle it better?” Doubt makes my voice turn it into a question. I want to believe I can handle it better. When he’s caught, I know I want to confront him. I have to do this for me. I need to see it through to the very end.
Will stays for the rest of the day hanging with my family and me. It’s nice just lounging around the house, watching movies. I feel normal. Normal is something I haven’t felt in a very long time.
Chapter 33
I spend the day with Tori and her family. It’s comfortable and I feel like a permanent part of her life. I need to go home, but even after spending the day with her, I’m not ready to leave.
I knew something happened at the diner, I just didn’t know what. Tori, is my number one priority, and when she panicked, everything else fell away. I moved on instinct: Get her home; keep her safe. But now, the whole drive home I can’t stop thinking about the fact that I was in the same place as him. I want to bash his head in and make him pay for what he did to Tori and possibly others…. My ringing phone cuts through the fury and I answer it without checking the caller id.
“Are you okay, bro?” Not giving me a chance to respond, Maverick continues, “Charlie called and told me. I would’ve called sooner, but I didn’t want to intrude. Charlie said you were spending the day with them. It’s good you were there.”
“It’s not me you should be worried about, it’s him that’s going to need help when I find out who the sack of shit is.” I pause before continuing, “Did Charlie tell you Tori’s going to try talking to Ashley tomorrow?”
“She mentioned it. I don’t know if Ashley will listen but that’s all that she can do. Ashley’s hard headed and, unfortunately, I can see her doing the opposite out of spite. But all Tori can do is try and she’s doing the right thing.”
“I’m actually really glad you called. This is killing me Maverick: Tori not knowing I saw her that night. It’s eating at me and I can’t continue holding onto it.”
Maverick sighs into the phone, “This is really bad timing, but I don’t think there will ever be good timing, not for something like this.”
It makes me angry just thinking about it and a little too forcefully I say, “Trust me, I know! I’m scared shitless about telling her. She’s trusted me enough to fall asleep on me. She trusts me to keep her safe. Hell, she trusted me enough to let me hold her while she was in shock and scared out of her mind. I can’t keep this to myself; I can’t move forward with secrets between us.”
Maverick’s quiet for a moment before saying, “I know bro, but be prepared. Be prepared for her to be pissed and hurt. It is the right thing to do but…”
“I know, and already know I may lose her entirely and it terrifies the hell out of me.”
“Will, I don’t think you’re going to lose her, but I do think she’s going to be pissed as hell and hurt beyond words. If she loves you the way I think she does, she’ll come around.”
“God, I hope you’re right.”
“Dude, you really should listen to me more, I’m usually right.”
I chuckle a little, “Yeah, whatever. Actually, isn’t it usually me instilling the words of wisdom? Somehow the roles have been reversed. I don’t know how that happened!”
“It’s the girls,” Maverick says. “They screw with our brain so we can’t think straight, and when you find the right one, all rational thought gets flushed down the toilet.”
“Isn’t that the truth,” I mutter.
“When are you going to tell her?” he asks.
“I’ll wait a day or two after she speaks to Ashley. She’s going to need me afterwards.”
“Yeah she is,” he sighs. “Holler if you need me. I’ll see you at school tomorrow.”
We hang up, but I don’t feel any better. Even with Maverick’s so called words of wisdom. Tomorrow I’ll be there for her and then after that…after that we need to talk. I just hope she knows how much I love her.
Chapter 34
I’m getting ready for school with only thoughts of Ashley in my head. I know, not good right? Who wants to wake up thinking about Ashley? Definitely not me.
I greet Charlie downstairs, “Hey Char, I’m driving today. I’ve got an appointment with the Doc today. Actually, timing couldn’t be better after the weekend I’ve had, and with today….”
“Are you sure you don’t want me with you when you speak to ‘the bitch’?”
I tilt my head to the side and can’t stop the smirk quickly forming at the use of the nickname I gave Ashley. Some things stick, what can I say?
“Naw, I got it. I need to do this. You know she’s not a fan of ours. One of us talking to her is bad enough but two? More importantly, both of us having to endure that kind of torture—well that’s just not right,” I intone sarcastically.
Charlie throws her head back and laughs, “You’ve got a point but…I would endure it for you. If you need me I’ll be there right along with you.”
“Thanks babe, but I got it.” I reply, with a hip-bump for emphasis.
We head off to school and meet the guys in the parking lot. Will seems off this morning and I can’t quite put my finger on it. I mean he’s happy to see me and grabs my hand immediately, but there’s just something…off.
“When are you going to talk to her?” Will asks.
“I dunno, I was thinking at lunch. I can take her aside and talk to her with a little more privacy. Especially not knowing how she’s going to react.”
He nods his head and looks around before turning back to me, “I’ll be here when you need me.”
“I know,” I say warmly.
I bump him a little to get his attention. “What’s wrong? You seem, I don’t know, a little off today.”
He quickly tries to hide it, “I’m just a little tired; that’s all.”
“Maybe you should have gone home sooner yesterday and gotten more sleep?”
He throws his arm around me, pulling me close to whisper in my ear, “There is no place I would have rather been than with you yesterday. I loved spending the entire day with you. Waking up with you in my arms, and spending the entire day snuggling on the couch—No, that was perfect.”
>
A shiver runs down my back at his words and, more specifically, his nearness. The good kind of shiver. I pull away a bit so I can reach up and kiss him on the cheek, then whisper, “Thank you.”
His eyes sparkle and dance, but there’s a hint of sadness. I decide to let it go; convinced I’m imagining it. He’s just tired, like he says.
I go about my day constantly looking at the time, dreading my conversation with Ashley. She’s never been a pleasant person to speak with. Not sure what I ever did to deserve her wrath, she’s just never liked me and it’s okay. I know it’s unrealistic to get along with everyone, but there’s just always been hostility about her I could never figure out. It’s like I’d done something without ever realizing it. I sigh when the bell rings signaling the next class, knowing it’s lunchtime.
Oh joy, show time!
I make my way to the lunchroom and decide to just get it over with; do it prior to eating. I catch Will’s eye and indicate I’m going over. I feel like I’m in a James Bond movie, for crying out loud. I search the room for Ashley and spot her at her table already. Taking the deepest breath of my life, I walk over to her. Beside her is the ‘other bitch’—I mean Miranda. I get to the table and wait to be acknowledged. Finally Ashley looks up, “Lost Tori? ‘Cause you sit over there.” She literally points to my table. I glance over to see Will, Maverick and Charlie all staring at me.
Okay guys, obvious much?
When they all notice that they’ve been had, they instantly look away. Busted, they each quickly glance randomly away. I inwardly, chuckle, and feel a little better; a bit more at ease with the impending conversation. “Can we talk Ashley? It’ll only take a second.”
“What could you possibly need to talk to me about?” She asks snidely.
Count to ten Tori. I take a slow cleansing breath. I want to bite her head off but it wouldn’t solve a damn thing, or help her. “We could have this conversation here but I don’t think you’re going to like it. I suggest we speak in private.
She huffs out a deep breath, obviously put-out, “Fine, but make it quick.”
Yeah, because I so badly want to spend my lunch time talking to your sour puss self.
She reluctantly follows me out of the cafeteria and we walk to a quiet corner in the hallway. She turns around with her arms crossed, “What do you have to say?”
“Who were you with Saturday night at the diner?”
She smirks and gets the old ‘holier than thou’ look on her face. “Why? Ready to trade in Will in already?”
“Not hardly.” There’s an edge to my voice that I can’t help. This girl pushes my buttons in so many different ways. “Just tell me Ashley, who was he?”
“Why? Jealous? I have something you want, Tori?”
“For the last damn time, Ashley, I don’t want him! Let me give you a piece of advice. Be careful of your date, whoever he is. He hurts people, girls specifically.”
“Why would you say this?” She shouts at me.
“Because it’s true, and if you’re smart, you’ll stay away from him!”
She smiles—of all things, “I can’t believe it. You finally want someone that’s with me. This is rich! Well, sorry to disappoint, but you can’t have him!”
Exasperated, I raise my voice, “Oh. My. God. For the last time, I don’t want him. I’m just warning you he’s not a good guy, and continuing to see him isn’t the smartest thing to do! I’m trying to help you, but you refuse to listen! I’m not in competition with you Ashley, and I never have been. I’m telling you, he’s bad news and he could hurt you. That’s all. Do what you want Ashley, you’re going to anyway.” Finished with my ‘good deed’ I march away and leave her standing there. I did what I could and the rest is up to her, whether she believes me or not.
Furious, I’m shaking as I make my way back into the cafeteria and our table and slump down next to Will.
“It went that good, huh?” Will asks.
“Smashing. Can’t you tell?”
Charlie leans closer, “Well, you did what you could, ya know.”
“Yeah,” I sigh. “She kept saying I wanted the guy she was dating, and I’m obviously not happy being with Will.” Will chokes on his drink and nearly spits it everywhere, which almost makes me laugh. Almost. “Oh, and she finally had something I wanted. I mean, what the hell? I told her it wasn’t a competition. Ugh, she makes me so furious!”
Will throws an arm over my shoulder, “I’m still proud of you, regardless of how she took it.”
I lean into him a little more, “Thanks. I knew it wasn’t going to be pleasant, and I certainly wasn’t looking forward to it, but damn Gina!” I whine, causing everyone else to burst out laughing.
“Go ahead and laugh.” I watch them laugh and I can’t help the smile that creeps onto my face. “Glad I could provide entertainment.”
Unexpectedly, Charlie blurts, “There she is! The Tori we all miss and love is coming back.”
Yeah, I am. Little by little; piece by piece I’m coming back.
Chapter 35
Therapy gets easier the more you go. Especially when she already knows your darkest secret. I don’t feel judged and it’s easier to discuss the mishaps that come and go along the way. I explained what happened over the weekend and how I handled it; or didn’t. At least not well. I did, indeed, have a panic attack, and Dr. Heart wasn’t surprised at my reaction. On the positive side she pointed out that by leaning on Will, I demonstrated the immense level of trust I have in him, which is a very good sign. I guess that means I’m not completely broken after all.
I told her about warning Ashley and how poorly the conversation went. She asked why Ashley felt the need to push my buttons and ‘felt’ the need for competition. I joked that while I didn’t have a clue, I’d be more than happy to pass along her card. I’m sure she needs as much as help as me, if not more. Dr. Heart actually quirked a small smile at that. I’m finally able to joke more and more, and I feel more and more like my old self. My nightmares are even getting easier; not gone, but easier.
Will’s still acting strange and says he needs to speak to me about something. Surely it can’t be anything big because he’s still affectionate and always holding my hand, or making out with my head. Okay, not really, but you know what I mean. He’s bringing dinner over tonight and we are going to ‘talk’ afterwards. I’m not sure what’s in store, but I’m really hoping for no surprises. I don’t think I can handle any.
While I’m waiting for Will to show up, I pull out my guitar and bring it into the living room. I always pick and choose songs based on my mood in the moment. I’m feeling so much better than I have in such a long time, that my song choices are lighter. Charlie sits up when she sees what’s in my hand. Like an excited child she claps her hands together, “Oh can I choose a song?” I love her excitement over the small things, one of her best qualities.
“What are you thinking?” I like some pop music, but country music is what I was brought up on. Charlie tends to bounce between genres, so I’m curious what she’ll pick.
“What about Crazy by Hunter Hayes?”
“Aw, Charlie’s in a playful mood is she? Want to harmonize with me? This is gonna be fun, I love that song.”
She moves closer to the end of the couch, excitement coming off of her in waves. I love how she loves music as much as I do. I begin playing and get lost in the music. I can’t help the smile on my face and she’s sporting the same one. It’s fast paced and fun and we’re sounding pretty damn good—our voices so very different, but sound so damn good together, blending perfectly.
I don’t want good and I don’t want good enough. Can’t sleep, can’t breathe without your love. Front porch and one more kiss. It doesn’t make sense to anybody else.
The chorus is the most fun part and we hit, and time it perfectly. Why didn’t we do this before?
All of a sudden, we hear clapping. We turn around surprised and see mom and Will standing in the doorway with a look of pure astonishment.
“Oh my God, girls, that was freaking fantastic!” She says with a massive grin.
“Really?” I ask.
“Hell yeah, it was spectacular!” Will exclaims.
“Holy shit, that was fun,” Charlie beams before ducking her head and glancing at my mom with a hint of remorse at her use of the word ‘shit’.
“That was the most fun I’ve had, like ever,” I laugh.
Overflowing with pride, my mom says, “The blending of Charlie’s angelic voice and your raspy voice—it just sounds awesome! Y’all should think about getting a gig, or two. It was that good!”
I can’t quit smiling. and one glance a Charlie reveals she’s the same way. We look at each other and start giggling like twelve year olds. “Hmm Char, we may need to see about taking our act on the road. What do you think about that?”
Charlie nods her head empathically, “I think yes!”
“Cool!”
I notice Will, and I am struck by how hot he is leaning against the doorway—looking way to cool for his own good. I feel so good, and brave; possibly too brave for my own good.
“Are you hungry?”
Will’s question sends my brain spinning in a whole new direction and I think, “Yeah, but not for food.”
Thank the Lord I don’t say that out loud. What the hell is wrong with me?
He brought enough food for the four of us. We take it into the living room and the subject of Charlie and I singing together works its way back into the conversation. We talk about where we could get gigs, and what our duo name would be, which turns the conversation in to a game to come up with a name, and everything gets thrown on the table from stupid to very stupid. But, who cares? It was fun.
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