by HJ Bellus
“Wait!” She holds up a hand. “A toast. We need to remember this moment forever.”
She pauses, strumming her finger on the tabletop. We all wait for her; me, impatiently.
“Okay.” She clears her throat and tightens her arm looped around my neck, so her side is pressed into my chest. She raises her glass, and we all follow suit until the crystal walls are all connected. “Coming home should be easy, or that’s what they all say. It was the scariest thing I’ve ever done. A part of my heart that was dead started to slowly beat again the second I drove down the main street of Boone. I know yesterday is gone and I’m okay with that. I have a new future now. To my family, my friends, my love, and my hometown. Cheers!”
Brady and Tessi both holler out “cheers” in unison. I can’t fucking manage to croak out the one simple word. Her words crushed and rejuvenated me all at the same time. There’s no way I’ll ever be able to process them. Jules blossomed, opening into a beautiful rose right in front of me. She put fear and anger aside to give the future just one glimpse of a chance. I’m finally able to rasp out the word.
We all bring our drinks to our lips and toss them back. Tessi continues with another toast. She pesters Brady until he caves into giving his own toast. I’m saved when Cody joins us. He drags a chair over to our table, whirls it backward, and takes a seat. He pours himself a Jack over ice.
I’ve never been so thankful to see the smartass in my life. There was no way in hell I’d be able to put together a toast that would do anything justice, and if I happened to, I’d cry right here in a bar. And it would have nothing to do with being tipsy.
The girls end up feeding the jukebox blasting all sorts of 80’s and 90’s jams, each and every one holding a long ago memory. And just like back in the day, we men stretched out our legs, relaxed back in our chairs, drank, bullshitted, and watched the girls dance their asses off. The only thing missing was the rusty tailgate of a truck.
“So, you two back together?” Cody is the first to breach the subject.
I pour another stiff glass of whiskey, knowing it’s going to be my last one for the night, and then glance up to both him and Brady. “I sure fucking hope so, boys.”
“Heard you two have a daughter.” He pours himself another drink and then waves for the waitress to bring us over another bottle.
For the briefest of seconds, I bristle up on the inside at the question. It’s my natural reaction. Shouldn’t be, but it is. Of course, people are going to be curious and want to know. I take a long drink before answering him.
“We do. Her name is Whit, and she’s freaking incredible. You’ll have to come out and meet her.” I slide my drink on the table at the same moment Jules strides up to me. She doesn’t even think about taking the empty seat as Tessi slides in on the booth side. Jules curls up in my lap, reaching for her drink.
“You all are going to call me a sappy fuck.” Cody twists his ball cap backward on his head. Jules reaches up and does the same to mine. “But I’ve thought about this moment for fucking years. The whole gang back together. Fucking right on.”
“Cheers,” the girls scream and raise their glasses. It’s followed by a chorus of drunken giggles streaming from them.
Our glasses clink one more time tonight, cementing us together once again. Cody nailed it. We are all back together.
“Just Like Jesse James” by Cher begins strumming in the bar. Jules jumps up like her ass is on fire and goes for my hands.
“Come on. Come on, baby. We used to dance to this one all the time.” She does her best to tug on my hand.
I’ve had enough alcohol to stand up and indulge my girl. Hell, I’d do it sober. She guides me out to the small make-shift dance floor. Once we are squared up in the middle and the only couple out there, Jules whips around, swaying her hips back and forth and holding one of my hands.
She uses her other hand to taunt me with the words of the songs. Never thought about them much back in the day, but Jesus, at this moment, they’re everything. Jules snakes her way up to me, shaking everything the good Lord blessed her with.
She drops my hand, swaying back and forth for a few more beats, dragging her hands up to her hair and closing her eyes as she gets lost in the song. Seeing this strong woman so carefree does something to me. I want to look at her like this every single damn day.
She finally wraps her arms around my neck, bringing her body up to mine. I let her lead. My hips find the same rhythm as hers. I glide my hands down her sides until they settle right above the globes of her ass. Jules smiles up at me with her eyes, mouthing every word of the song to me, enticing a battle of breaking hearts and who will be the strongest in the end. She’s all in. I have no doubt anymore.
I drop my forehead to hers, singing right back, matching her word for word. We promise each other the world in a complicated dance. During a break in the song, I reach down and catch her plump bottom lip between my teeth. Jules pulls back and captures my lips with hers. We get lost in each other. Tongues tango, teeth collide as we soak up every ounce of each other. Her taste dances on my tongue, leaving me craving more of her. There will never be enough. Jules reaches up, plucks my hat from my head, and places it on hers without breaking the kiss. My hands move on instinct from her back to cup her cheeks. It’s an act of keeping her in this place forever. Our hips never quit moving to the music as we devour each other.
The song ends, and “Heaven” by Kane Brown serenades us. I smile against her lips, breaking our kiss.
“What’s so funny?” She pulls back just enough to ask the question.
I shake my head, kissing the tip of her nose. “Nothing. I couldn’t figure out how to describe this moment in my head.”
“And?” She tilts her head.
“It’s heaven. I know what perfection and absolute joy feel like.”
Jules smiles and drops the side of her cheek to my chest. My hands roam back down, and we soak up each word of the song in unison. It’s the two of us who exist in the crowded bar. The way it should be. The way it always will be.
The bar erupts in cheers as the song ends. Jules buries her face in my chest. I kiss the top of her head, keeping her safe and protected against me. It’s always been my job, and I’ll never lose that responsibility again.
“I Will Wait” by Mumford & Sons begins jamming. Tessi drags Brady out on the dance floor, and Cody pulls a random woman out as well.
“Sorry, Jules. I love this song,” Tessi hollers over the speakers.
Jules waves her off then glances up at me. A smile covers her face then laughter ensues.
“What?” I lean down and whisper in her ear.
“This song,” she hollers back up to me.
I quirk an eyebrow in question. Jules perches up on her tiptoes. More bodies have surrounded us, so I take it upon myself to lift her up by the hips until her legs wrap tight around my center.
She presses her cheek against mine. Her lips glide up and down the shell of my ear. “The song. I’ve waited, Jessie. I haven’t been with another man. I tried dating but never got over you.”
Chapter 17
Jules
My head fogs with delightful confusion and relaxation. I’m not too far gone. I know what I’m doing and damn well know I’d do it sober. Three more drinks and I’d be flat-ass drunk.
Or that’s what I thought until I wrapped myself up in Jessie. His scent, warmth, and touch destroyed me. I was immediately intoxicated. I drowned in a state I never wanted to escape from. I now understand the lure of being an addict. I fully accept it and have no shame.
The sweat beads pour off my forehead. The array of music was intense from old pop, romantic songs, then right into downhome country swinging music. I danced to it all with Jessie at my side. My legs screamed in agony, and sweat coated every inch of my body and clothing. All in all, it was a pathetic, disgusting scene and exhilarating at the same time. The dancing and contact were better than jumping out of a plane or facing an alligator. It was so much more.
>
“Here you all go.” Cody slings a tray of waters, more Jack Daniels, and a pitcher of Pussy Pleasers on the center of the table.
The crowd has died down. Only the die-hards are left behind. I’m able to make a few out. Instead of aging five to eight years, it seems they’ve added twenty on. They stare, point, and whisper, but I couldn’t give a shit tonight. It seems a tinge of magic has sprinkled down on us. I’m floating on cloud nine, and it’s not the booze. It’s Jessie.
“One final toast.” Jessie situates everyone’s drinks.
He pours mine first and makes sure it’s right in front of me. I sit back further into him with my arm wrapped around his neck. Everyone else grabs theirs and waits on Jessie. He didn’t have to tell me earlier that my toast got to him. I could see on his features. I swear to God, I can still read the man like an open book. Hell, I could write him as the main character with my eyes closed.
Jessie clears his throat then raises his glass with nothing but confidence. “To my friends. To my family. To my love and to my daughter. I made one horrible choice years ago where I could’ve lost everything, but by the grace of God, I was blessed with one last chance where I’ll never have to regret the yesterdays because all the yesterdays are gone.”
The jukebox cuts off. A deathly silence floats around the table. We all take in his words. Jessie just admitted aloud to others our past sins that have in the end turned out to be nothing but beauty.
“Cheers.” I raise my glass, my voice filled with nothing but confidence.
“Cheers,” the rest of our friends echo.
Our glasses clink together, cementing all of our futures. I have no doubt where my home will always be. It’s here with this man. Now, it’s time to build up the courage to believe this sentiment every second of my day, never letting doubt or the past linger in again.
I finish off my final glass of Pussy Pleaser, ironic as it is since nothing has pleased anything downtown since Whit was conceived. Cody goes about cleaning up the bar while the rest of us nurse waters, knowing damn well we will all have wicked hangovers in the morning. Or at least I will. The saying “I’ll never drink again” always fails. But it was one hell of a night.
“Home fries.” Cody bounds back up to the table. He’s like a damn night owl all energetic and ready to start the day. You’d think he was going on his third cup of coffee. “I’ve got two damn good kids here who are my dishwashers. They’re pretty much the same as fucking Uber but in a Podunk town, no tips required. Tell them where you want to end up, and they’ll take you. Their girlfriends will follow, and then they’ll go boink until the sunrise. I’ve got their backs, so their parents truly do believe I’ve worked their asses off all night long when in reality they are getting a piece of ass themselves.”
I groan and cover my eyes as if it was live action going off before me. It was made ten times worse when the young boys stepped in front of us holding out their hands for our keys. Brady tossed his, overall too anxious to get going to pound town while Jessie had to dig around in his pocket. I blocked out the fact both of the men were way too comfortable with this scenario.
I don’t get the opportunity to dwell on this fact since we are rushed out of the bar, and Cody tosses a brunette over his shoulder, smacking her ass on the way upstairs to his loft.
I’m wrapped up next to Jessie as the youngster drives us home. Jessie runs his hand down the length of my spine then massages out the back of my neck. He does this on repeat, making it impossible to keep my eyes open. Whether it be the booze or being drunk on my first and only love, my eyes flutter shut. Complete darkness settles upon me. I don’t have a worry in the world is my last thought.
“Baby.” My shoulder shakes. “We are home.”
A dim light fights like a little bitch to blind me, but I do my best to ignore it until the next shake comes.
“Jules, we are home.” Jessie’s gruff voice finally stirs me awake.
It takes me long moments to stretch out and wipe the sleep from my eyes. We are in Jessie’s childhood home, and it’s pitch black out.
“What time is it?” I ask, stretching while fighting the urge to curl right back up into Jessie’s chest.
“It’s four in the morning.” He scoops me up and pops open the door to his truck. “I have one percent left on my phone. We need it to make it into the house.”
I want to argue. But can’t. I want to sleep and get an ice cold drink of water before I do so.
“Jessie?” I’m jostled around until I’m perched against his chest.
“Yeah.” He adjusts me in his arms.
“Are you carrying me like a baby?” It’s not what I wanted to ask but the only thing I can focus on.
“I guess so.” The crunch of gravel sounds underneath his sneakers.
“This is romantic. You’re about to carry me over the threshold like a groom does his wife.” My voice echoes around the countryside.
“Shhh, baby, we’re almost to the front.”
“Going to chapel…gonna marry you.” I hear the tune of the song perfectly in my head but know I’m slaughtering every single word. It doesn’t matter; I continue on like the drunken badass I am. That last drink really hit me hard.
“I love you, Jules, but you need to quiet down a bit. We’ll have the whole town awake at this point.”
A creak cracks through the darkness. It’s the screen door, and I remember I’m thirsty as fuck.
“Jessie,” I try to whisper. It comes out so loud I scare myself.
“Jules,” he hisses.
I reach up and grab his earlobe, tugging it down to my mouth and doing my best to whisper, “I’m thirsty.”
“I love you. I really do,” Jessie growls then slaps his hand over my mouth.
I kind of like it. In a weird and effed-up world, I could pretend he was an alpha alien about to make me his sex slave. My stomach lurches at the thought. How fucking drunk am I?
I catch a figure out of the corner of my eye. It’s Nana. I go to shout her name then remember the hand clutched over my mouth. She’s passed out stone cold in her town clothes. I bet she got a round or two of Pussy Pleasers herself.
Oh no. Jesus, that causes my stomach to rebel again. I squirm and struggle in Jessie’s arms.
“Hey, now. Hey.” His pace picks up. “You’re just fine.”
Before I know it, I’m settled on the kitchen countertop with Jessie between my legs.
“Breathe. Relax, and I’ll get you a bottle of water.” He reaches over to the fridge, pulling out three of them.
I want to laugh because he said one. Jesus on a sandal, or is it Christ on a cracker; how many more drinks did I have? Jessie brings the bottle of water to my lips. I suck it down like it’s liquid cocaine; hell, maybe it is at this point.
“Easy, you’ll upset your stomach.” Jessie screws the cap back on the bottle. “We’re going up to my room.”
“The one we boned in?” I ask excitedly.
He nods.
“Wait.” I throw out my hand, nearly nailing him in the chin instead of his chest. “Did you nail, screw, or pile drive Shayna up there?”
He shakes his head. “She’s never been at Mom and Dad’s place. Wasn’t her thing.”
“Okay, let’s go pile dirt up there.”
Jessie shakes his head and bites down on his laughter.
I drop my forehead to the top of his shoulder. “I wasn’t this drunk. What happened?”
He plucks the hair tie out of my hair then run his fingers through the long curls. “Babe, I’m thinking the last two Pussy Pleasers you and Tessi downed bit you in the ass.”
“They taste like Kool-Aid,” I mumble.
“Exactly. Those are the ones that kick your ass.” His hands roam up and down my back.
A moment of clarity hits me. “Are you sure Whit is here?”
I remember Jessie telling me his mom texted him letting him know Whit and Jane were staying the night. Something about an epic spa party with both grandmas.
I grab the two water bottles and sling my arms around his neck in a sloppy-ass motion. Jessie clutches my ass, lifting me from the counter and making his way up the stairs. All of my goofy giddiness has disappeared as fast as it attacked me. My eyelids are heavy once again. All I want is a bed, Jessie’s body wrapped around mine, and sleep.
Jessie stops at the opening of a door and peers in. Just enough moonlight blazes up the room. I clutch to Jessie tighter, seeing the view in front of us. His dad on one side of the bed, his mom in the middle, and my little monkey curled right up next to her. Fire engine red lipstick lines Whit’s lips. I can only imagine what she got into tonight. I guarantee she had the best night of her life.
Jessie steps away and whispers in my ear. “Want me to move her to be with us?”
Any other time, it would’ve been a solid yes, but I shake my head no. Whit has found her family and is soaking up every second of it. The next thing I know, I’m gently laid back on Jessie’s bed. I enjoy the view as he reaches behind his neck, stripping away his shirt. Next are his shorts until he’s only clothed in a black pair of boxers.
I fumble with the button on my shorts. Jessie’s hand covers mine. He glides them down smoothly and does the same with the rest of my clothes until I’m left in my pink panties. He walks over to a dresser, causing my heart to immediately sink.
“Sit up, baby. As much as I want those tits pressed up against me as we sleep, we better have a shirt on you because you know Whit will be bounding in.” He eases me up, tugging the shirt over my head.
He’s right. But damn, did the other scenario sound like perfection. I grab his hands, tugging him down to me. His body shelters mine. I spread my legs wide so he can settle in. His arms brace each side of my face with his hands clasped on the top of my head.
“Jules,” he croaks out in a husky voice.
“Yeah.” I bring a hand up to drag my finger along his jawline.