Can't Leave It Alone

by Nicole Jackson

  After over thirty minutes of crying non-stop, Jada’s cell buzzed. She had a video from Desmond. She played it. Surprisingly, he had a huge smile on his face. “Say, Jada, I aint mad at you, man. I helped you out for a lil’ while because you stuck it out with a nigga, through all the bullshit. No matter how many times I dumped you for other hoes or fucked your friends. Shit, you even let me fuck both of your retched ass cousins. You still clung to a nigga. No matter how many times I called you Ryan when we was fucking you stayed….I told you that baby wasn’t mines, though. And I just got one final thing to say. Jada bitch, go find that baby’s pappy, and SUCK MY DICK!”

  Jada’s face was beet red, as she watched the video. She knew that he’d be pissed, but that was harsh. Yes, he’d actually done all those things to her, but for him to say it like that…it brought her back to reality. She was never shit to Desmond, and that day is when she really accepted the truth.

  ******

  “So in love. I’ll give it all away. Just don’t tell nobody tomorrow. Cause tonight’s the night that I give you everything. Music knocking ‘til the morning light. Cause we like to party!” Ryan threw her hands up in the air.

  She was rocking multi-colored snake skin printed Versace leggings with a purple cropped top, accentuating her purple Giuseppe pumps. Her hair was freshly straightened, and shined underneath the club’s strobe lights. She was looking incredible, and was floating on a natural high. Jada’s son wasn’t Desmond’s, the kids were good, and most of all she was in a great place in her life. She had every reason to party.

  “Aye!” she swayed her hips, as she and all her girls sang along with Beyonce.

  “Your touch is driving me cra-zy!” Raquel belted, as she slid her hands over her curves, feeling the beat. Her black baby doll top accompanied with her red booty shorts had her long legs on display, and the black Prada booties she wore gave her legs length.

  Raven dramatically swung her hair around, as she posed for the onlookers. Her long sheer white blouse reached her thighs, and from a distance it looked like she wore nothing underneath. The metallic gold booty shorts wore were barely visible. The super high metallic gold Prada booties she rocked brought flair to the ensemble.

  Dina was bringing it, along with Trinity and Zyrie. The whole crew was dressed to kill. Raven had provided tickets to the ultra-exclusive shindig that had guests ranging from professional ball players to doctors and lawyers. They were amongst the elite, but the atmosphere was pretty casual. Everyone had come out to party.

  The men gathered around, gawking at the group of women, who all seemed oblivious to the attention they generated.

  “You a bad girl, and your friends bad too,” Raquel rapped, pointing at all her friends. “We got the swag sauce, so she drippin’ swagoo. Ooh.”

  “You silly,” Ryan playfully shoved her. Feeling a little frisky, she sent Desmond a naughty text, as she rocked from side to side.

  Raquel nosily glanced over her shoulder. “Bitch, let that nigga breathe. He’ll be there when you get home.”

  Ryan gave her the finger, as she read Desmond’s reply. “Hey, I’ma be back. I’m going to the restroom.” She announced to no one in particular. Squeezing her way through the crowd, she felt someone grab her hand.

  “You can’t speak?”

  She glanced up, and noticed Jacob. “Hey.”

  “That was dry.”

  She smiled, “My bad. How are you?”

  “Good. You’re looking exquisite, but I expect nothing less from you.”

  “Thanks, Jacob.”

  He grabbed her hand, “Come on, step out here with me for a second.”

  Reluctantly, she allowed him to lead her outside into a designated smoking area. “What’s up?”

  “Why is it so different?”

  She arched her brows in confusion. “Different how?”

  He sighed, “Obviously, you’ve moved on. I won’t say that I like it, but I respect it. But it drives me crazy when you pretend like you weren’t in my life for years. That’s not something easily forgotten. You get all stiff and shit. Why can’t you be that same feisty Ryan I used to know?”

  She waved her head. “You make that question sound so simple.”

  “But isn’t it a simple question?” he furrowed his brows.

  “Jacob, ask yourself this. If I was to come around you, all smiles, being the chick you used to fuck what would you think? Wouldn’t that confuse you? Wouldn’t that give you this false sense of hope?” she breathed. “I’m emotionless around you, because too much has happened to ever be comfortable again. No, you haven’t done anything to me, but that awkwardness would always be there. And keeping it all the way real, Desmond just aint having it. I have to respect my man when he says that he doesn’t want me dealing with you. But I will clear the air tonight.” She inched closer. “Yes, there was a point where I had real feelings for you, but I had so many issues that I was sweeping under the rug. Those issues were holding me back. Desmond was a huge part of these said issues, and no other relationship was going to work with me, until I resolved things with him. So, had he not come back into the picture we might have tried to be together, but neither of us would’ve been happy. Because I wasn’t happy. So, yes, you’re special to me. Yes, I had some memorable times with you. But I believe wholeheartedly that we were seasonal, and I let you go to find that lifetime kind of thing. You know?”

  His head rolled around on his neck, “You getting all poetic on a nigga.”

  She grabbed his hand. “I’m serious. And I love you for being there when I needed someone to lean on.” She stood on her tip toes and kissed his cheek. “Thank you.”

  For a brief moment he closed his eyes, and finally he came to terms with it all. Overall, she was a cool, beautiful, articulate chick. That’s what had captured him from the beginning, but her heart was simply with another man. Yes, his ego was permanently bruised, but he’d survive.

  “I got you,” he nodded.

  “Good,” she grinned, before turning away, and stepping back into the club. It seemed that he finally understood, and respected her position, and she appreciated that. “Maybe in another lifetime,” she whispered to herself. She commenced to shoving her way through the club’s thick crowd, when she felt another strong grip on her arm.

  “Bitch, you aint running this time.” Smoke gritted.

  “Let me go!” she screamed, drawing attention to them. The look in his eyes said it all. Like Kemo, there were a few screws missing, and there was definite malice in his heart.

  “Where is that nigga at? Huh?” he shook her violently.

  “Stooop!” she beseeched, before a bystander intervened, pulling him off her. With a racing heart, she scurried back to where her friends were. Nervously, she grabbed Dina’s shoulder, and whispered in her ear, “Bitch, we gotta get out of here. Kemo’s brother just tried to hem me up.”

  Before Dina could correctly formulate what Ryan had just relayed to her, she was on the line with Desmond. “Baby, you gotta get downtown to this club. That nigga Kemo’s brother was trying to attack me, telling me to go get my nigga.” Her voice trembled. He could tell that she was shook.

  “Okay, calm down. Leave! Go the car, and stab out. I’m on my way.” Desmond commanded, as he raced to his car. He was at one of his traps counting money, and had just abruptly left everything on the table.

  “Come on, Dina. We gotta go.” Ryan pulled her cousin towards the exit.

  “What’s wrong? Why are yall leaving?” Raven questioned.

  “It’s an emergency. I’ll call yall later.” Ryan quickly offered, before practically running out of the club. A sense a relief washed over her when she spotted her car in the parking garage. They were just a few feet away from freedom, when she heard the undeniable clicking of a gun.

  “Where you going?” Smoke questioned, with his .38 aimed at her head.

  Ryan’s hands shook uncontrollably. This was like dejavu for her. The vivid memory of three bullets penetrating her body flo
oded her mind. She could almost feel those hot bullets again. Nothing in life had been more physically painful.

  “Why…why…why are you bothering me?” she stuttered. “I don’t even know you.”

  He quickly flipped the pistol, and bashed her head with the butt of the gun. “You know who the fuck I am!”

  Dina stood, with her stomach in knots. She was wishing like hell that they’d made it to Ryan’s car, where she’d left her .357.

  ******

  “Jay, you need to get your cousin,” Ben, Jacob’s friend from the hood, whispered in his ear.

  “What is he doing now?” Jacob growled, becoming fed up with Smoke’s antics. He’d lost it, and everyone had completely washed their hands with him. Still, somehow he’d convinced Ruby that Jacob wanted him to have a ticket to this party. He’d shown up high, and belligerent, and Jacob had been giving strong consideration into having him removed.

  “Man, he just snatched up Ryan, your old bitch. I mean, he was just manhandling her, and I had to drag him off her. Then he got to talking about killing her. Talking about she set his little brother up.”

  “What?!”

  “Yeah,” he nodded. “And then he just ran after her. I mean, the way he’s acting I believe he’s really gonna hurt that broad. Or somebody.”

  “Shit.” Jacob gritted. “Follow me.” He instructed, as he maneuvered his way to the exit. His jaw nearly hit the ground, when he spotted his cousin holding Ryan with a pistol pressed to her temple.

  “Smoke, what the fuck?!” his voice echoed in the garage, as he jogged over to them.

  Beads of sweat trickled down Smoke’s face. “I told you that I was going to handle this bitch whenever I seen her. I can’t let her walk around like aint shit happened.”

  “Ja…Jacob,” Ryan’s lips quivered. “P…p…please.”

  In a flash, Jacob has his own gun out, aiming it at his cousin. “Come on, man. Let that girl go, Smoke. That powder got you tripping.”

  Smoke sniffed. “Nigga, I aint crazy. You…You taking this bitch’s side?” he blubbered, as a little drool dripped from his lips.

  “That nigga is gone.” Ben shook his head.

  “Smoke, I’ma tell you one last time! Let her go!”

  “Let her go?” Smoke grinned sinisterly. “Fuck you!”

  “Fuck!” Jacob vented, as he pulled the trigger, striking his cousin between the eyes.

  The loud screeching of the tires caught everyone’s attention, as Desmond’s Benz came barreling towards them. With Flip behind the wheel his car wasn’t completely stopped, when he jumped out. His gun was already cocked loaded and ready.

  “Back up, nigga!” Desmond shouted, pointing his nine at Jacob.

  “It’s…it’s okay.” Ryan spoke up, as she stood covered in Smoke’s blood. “Jacob, helped.”

  Realizing that Kemo’s brother was lying on the ground in a pool of blood, he lowered his weapon.

  Jacob’s chest heaved up and down, hating that he’d been forced to kill his blood relative. “Shit!” he placed both hands on his head, as he paced back and forth.

  Police sirens could be heard in the distance and Desmond gave Flip the signal to leave, after he handed him his gun.

  Jacob stood silently, but didn’t attempt to rid himself of his pistol, because he was legally licensed to carry it.

  Just as the police were pulling up on the scene Desmond stepped up to him. They squared off. He grabbed the bridge of his nose, before speaking. “Thank you.” He extended his hand for a shake.

  Jacob gave him a look of surprise, as his eyes shifted from his hand to Ryan’s distraught face, before refocusing on Desmond. He swallowed, as he shook his hand. “You…you’re welcome.”

  ******

  Jada gazed absently in the distance, as her baby wailed at the top of his lungs. Her apartment was dirty. She was broke, her car had been repossessed, and she had yet another black eye. Her life was a mess, and she thought back on the night that changed everything.

  She’d been drinking an excessive amount since she and Desmond had moved to Houston. She wasn’t in favor of the move, but he made it vehemently clear that he was going back to the H with or without her. She hadn’t verbally uttered it to a soul, but she was terrified that he was going to run into Ryan. It was abundantly clear that he wasn’t over her, and she felt in her heart that if Ryan would have him he’d gladly go back to her, even after all the years had passed. In fact, there was no doubt in her mind. The man had her living in a house where his ex’s photos still adorned the walls, for God’s sake.

  Her insecurities combined with the fact that De-De was never home drove her crazy. So, one rainy night she walked up the street to an upscale bar. Since they lived in downtown Houston there were several eateries and bars in walking distance, but that her first time taking that walk. There she was in the fourth largest city in America, and she was alone.

  Taking shot after shot, Jada got wasted, as she constantly stared at her cell phone that refused to ring. Soon, her face was numb, and her speech was slurred.

  “You alright?” a gentle voice asked, as he approached her.

  She turned to see a familiar face. “Yeah,”

  He squinted, “You sure?”

  “Umm hmm,” she goofily nodded, as she tucked her lips in.

  Ha waved his head. “You live around here?”

  “Yep,” she popped her lips.

  He chuckled. “Is it close?”

  “Yep.”

  “Walking distance?”

  “Yep.”

  “Did you walk here?”

  “Yep.”

  He shook his head, as he extended his hand. “Allow me to escort you.”

  She slowly arched a brow. “Nigga, I don’t know you like that, yea.”

  He smiled. “You must be from Louisiana.”

  “Yea, bebe.” She attempted to stand, and quickly stumbled over her own feet.

  He assertively grabbed her hand. “Come on, let me help you, before you walk out into the streets and get run over.”

  “Okaaay,” she breathed, as she allowed him to lead her out of the bar. Her being from a closer knit environment gave her a false sense of security around strangers, therefore she was more relaxed than he anticipated.

  “Where to?” he questioned once outside.

  “This way.” She pointed to the left.

  Together they walked down the sidewalk, wrapped around one another like two people in love. By the time they reached her building she’d gotten used to his company, and didn’t want to be alone. She’d sobered up considerably, but she continued to play that drunk role with him.

  “Daddy, I live on the tenth floor in J10,” she mumbled, as they tipped to the elevators in her building. When they stepped onto the elevator, she decided to go for broke, grabbing his thick dick through his jeans.

  “Damn,” he rocked up immediately.

  Boldly, she grabbed his chin, bringing his lips to hers. She licked his lips, before easing her tongue into his mouth. For a brief moment they kissed feverishly, until they reached her floor. When the elevators opened, she stepped out, and pulled him along. They were headed to her condo, despite the fact that she didn’t know where Desmond was. For all she knew he could be sitting in their spot, waiting on her arrival. For a fleeting moment the thought of him catching her in the act aroused her.

  Unlocking the door, they entered her crib. With urgency she slammed the door behind them, before pushing him against a wall. Their eyes locked, as she dropped to her knees. He watched in awe, as she whipped out his dick, and took him into her warm mouth. Vigorously she sucked him up. It wasn’t long before he was about to bust, and he pulled her to her feet.

  Fueled by pure unadulterated lust, he lifted her dress, and discovered that she wore no panties. Like a wild wilder beast, he bent her over, and entered him from the back. He grabbed her shoulders, as he pounded into her. She howled, and scratched at her walls, until she climaxed all over him.

  He continued
to go hard, beating it out the frame. Her eyes were rolling into the back of her head, as he smashed into her one last time, before busting inside of her. Jada was blown away, and had never had such passionate sex. She thought that he felt the same, until he pulled his pants up, and left without even asking for her number.

  That night she took a bath, before crawling into her empty bed alone. Desmond didn’t come home until the noon the next day, and didn’t seem the least bit interested in sliding between her legs. For once, she didn’t bitch about where’d he’d been, because she had her own little secret…that would later transform into a living nightmare.

  Jada shook her head, thinking about the dumb mistakes she’d made. There was no way in the world she would’ve gone through with having Dashon if she’d known indefinitely that he wasn’t De-De’s. Sadly, a part of her felt a disconnect with her baby, since finding out that Desmond wasn’t his daddy.

  She blankly stared at her coffee table, until she realized that BG’s phone was vibrating on it. Grabbing it, she scrounged upon noticing a familiar chick’s face and number flash across the screen. “Brody!” she furiously shouted.

  “What?” BG angrily stomped into the living room.

  “Why is Jordan calling your phone?”

  He gave her a look like she’d lost her mind. “That’s my fuckin’ phone.”

  “And!” she yelped. They had the strangest relationship. No matter how violent he was with her, she was never afraid. They fought like cats and dogs. It was just the nature of their relationship, and always had been. In Jada’s mind, BG was just passionate about her, and matters between them could get intense.