All of this was utter shit. Maybe if he’d bought her a ticket and driven her to the airport, he would have avoided all this crap. He’d known she didn’t have two pennies to rub together, but he hadn’t cared at the time. His own ungenerosity goaded him.
He couldn’t stay in the house with Esme sulkily throwing him accusing looks all the time and her up there, barely hanging onto her features. The vacant discussions of his friends and their activities would only irk more. Instead, he hopped in the car and went the only place he could at that moment, back to that girl’s house. He wasn’t welcome, and she refused to speak to him, but that was just what he needed. At least there he could hide. Besides, they weren’t averse to getting utterly shit-faced and right now he didn’t need people judging him on his state either. Yes, he was drinking himself into oblivion. Fuck off and deal with it.
The valet at Empire took his car as he handed over the keys. It would likely stay in their garage until morning, but they kept cars relatively safe. One less thing to worry about.
Ordering his first whiskey of the evening, he spotted the boys. The girls obviously hadn’t arrived yet. Felix walked over and took a deep draught of the whiskey.
“Do you ever stop drinking?” asked one of the boys whose name he couldn’t remember.
“At the moment, no.”
“At that rate you’re not going to remember the end of the evening. Probably not even the middle.”
“The sooner the better.”
The boys were quiet for a moment, acknowledging between them what a fucked-up state he was in. There was always that pitying look, but with his friends they wanted to talk about it. These boys didn’t truly care, which was probably why he was here. They were happy to simply acknowledge his self-destruction and leave him to it. Maybe that was what he’d gotten to now, seeking out the people who would tolerate him doing what he did, or maybe it was that he didn’t want a familiar audience for this. They were nice enough people, he supposed, except Trish, who was a bitch and he loved it.
Speaking of the girls, they appeared, wearing trashy clothes. He loved that, too. Trashy clothes and amazing bodies, the sirens of the modern age. There was another girl with trashy clothes and an even more amazing body, but now her face was a mess and he was to some degree responsible.
Trish sat down next to him. “You shaved,” she said. Her skirt was so high he could see the gap in her thighs. If only he could sink into her body and forget about everything, but he couldn’t because ‘she’ would be there in his head, and also because Cory would probably beat the shit out of him. Maybe he’d end up in a bed next to her in the invalid’s room. If he felt less crap afterwards, it might be worth it. He smiled tightly. Yes, he had shaved, formed some semblance of normality for a moment. “Why don’t you give me some money for a taxi now, so I don’t have to fork out to drag your useless carcass home.”
“You really are the sweetest girl I’ve ever met. It beggars the mind why Cory is so in love with you.”
“He’s not.”
“If you say so,” he said pointedly. Only a fool wouldn’t notice Cory watching every move they made right now. Then again, Cory was an arsehole running around with some tennis amazon because he didn’t have the guts to do something about his constant hard-on for Trish. Pussy. Really, Felix had little sympathy for him, even if Trish was a complete ball-breaker.
“He’s in love with Mirabel Sunning. Didn’t he tell you? But then again, it’s hard to tell as he’s fucking just about every woman at the Athletics Club. He’s like the go to guy for a quick fuck and he doesn’t even charge. I think he sees it as community service.”
Felix winced half-heartedly. “Can’t blame the ladies, can you? Look at him. They’d all be in a tizzy dropping their knickers for him.”
“Careful, that might be your mum you’re talking about.”
“My mum would only spread her legs for royalty, the uglier the better, really. If she could dislodge Camilla, she would.”
Trish chuckled in spite of herself. “You really despise women, don’t you?”
“I love women. I just don’t respect them.”
She shifted her head to the side. “What the fuck are we going to do with you?”
Something crude and suggestive was working its way up his throat, but Cory was still intently watching.
“It’s such a shame,” she continued. “You’re so pretty to look at, but so rotten inside.”
“Working on pickled.”
“Well, let me know how that works out for you. Managing to outrun the demons?” She rose and pulled her ridiculously tight dress down her thighs. Trish was something and Cory was an idiot. But then maybe if he had been in love with Trish, he’d be scared too.
Chapter 46
Taking her suit jacket off, Rosalie stepped up to the maître’d manning a glass podium. Huge vases of flowers stood behind it, everything pink and silver. The décor was decidedly feminine, Rosalie thought, feeling slightly out of place. The invitation to lunch from Malin had come out of the blue and it felt rude to say no. It was just going to be the two of them and Rosalie had to admit she was a little curious. What could this woman want to talk about? Was this some new stratagem from Alexi to carry out his threats? Or did Malin have some intentions of warning her of his intentions?
Alexi. She had tried to dismiss him from her mind. He’d more or less admitted he’d chased Jasper off. She still didn’t understand why. Was it jealousy or pure spite? Maybe Malin would shed some light.
The restaurant was up in the hills and had a wonderful view over the coastline. Everything looked a little hazy from here, but the breeze was warm. The tables were tiled—grey, pink and miniscule mirrors. More flowers stood in a mirrored vase on the table. The décor really was a bit over the top.
Malin sat waiting, her blond hair swaying slightly in the breeze. She wore a dress in the lightest material possible and it moved with the breeze. Rosalie felt frumpy in comparison in her work garb. Then again, her entire wardrobe was frumpy in comparison.
As she approached, Malin stood and they kissed on the cheeks as if they were friends. It felt awkward and Rosalie sat down. “This is a lovely restaurant,” she said. “I’ve never been here before.”
“It’s a little gem, isn’t it?” Malin said.
“Absolutely.” Rosalie consulted the menu, which described every ingredient in lush words. The prices were extreme.
“Wine?” Malin asked.
“That would be nice.”
Malin ordered a specific French bottle without consulting the menu and the waiter bowed before disappearing.
“It was nice you could get away today,” Malin said with a smile. Perfect white teeth. Had she been a model at some point? She certainly was pretty enough. “It is hard when you’re working.”
“Today is not a teaching day, so my schedule is more flexible.”
Malin considered her for a moment. “The weather is lovely. We’re off to New York next week, me and Alexi.”
Rosalie itched to correct her grammar, but held her tongue. “That sounds nice.”
“It’s important to get away sometimes and spend time alone.”
The waiter returned and Malin ordered a salad. Right, menu, Rosalie thought and quickly consulted. “Maybe the seared chicken breast with sour plum sauce and caramelised fennel salsa?”
The waiter nodded and smiled, then left them again.
“You must work at making relationships stronger, don’t you?”
“Of course,” Rosalie said. There was a moment of silence. What had they to talk about? There was no common ground between them—well, other than Alexi, and Rosalie had no interest talking to Alexi’s girlfriend about him. She smiled awkwardly.
“I love the energy of New York,” Rosalie said. The truth was that she didn’t particularly; she’d found it frantic and fraught during the two conferences she’d attended there.
“I lived there for a while when I was younger. I loved every moment of it.”
> With relief, Rosalie saw the drinks being carried out in heavy crystal glasses with a pink air bubble in the bottom.
Malin described how utterly tiny her apartment had been and then, to Rosalie’s relief, the food came on overly large white plates. It looked delicious and tasted the same. It wasn’t a combination she would ever think of, but the flavours worked nicely together.
They ate for a while.
“Have you intended any more trips with the boat?”
“Alexi likes to take it out whenever he wants to escape for a while. The pressures on him are extreme as I think you know,” Malin smiled.
“I’m sure they are.”
“You see, he needs someone who can be there for him.” Malin looked at her intently. “He needs to uphold a certain standard and standing in society,” she continued. “Alexi needs to travel in all sorts of company and the person he is with needs to be flexible enough to cope with every situation. To represent the right image.”
Rosalie blinked. Why was she saying this?
“You could never be that for him, what he needs,” Malin continued, placing her hand on top of Rosalie’s.
“I be that for him?” Rosalie said with confusion. “I have no intention of being that for him, or anything else, for that matter.”
Malin smiled, please. “I knew you would understand.”
I really don’t, she thought, watching as Malin returned her attention to her salad, apparently pleased with the turn in the conversation.
The only conclusion Rosalie could draw was that Malin was aware what Alexi had done to Jasper and had drawn some conclusions, and now she was warning her away—by saying she wasn’t good enough to keep Alexi’s company. Alexi was welcome to keep his more ‘glamorous’ company.
Rosalie had no idea how to respond to this situation, although the purpose for this luncheon was now evident. Alexi’s mad life was again intruding on hers. Was he aware that Malin was here warning her away? No, he couldn’t be. But what had driven Malin to take these actions? On some level, Malin must see her as the threat. Then again, if Alexi had chased away her suitor in a fissy fit, maybe Malin was right to.
Malin smiled again as she looked up. And really, a certain standard—was that the term the woman had used? But this was the world Alexi had chosen to travel in, where standard was measured by the stones around your neck and labels on clothes. Rosalie wanted to leave. This was all utterly ridiculous and it left a sour taste in her mouth.
Now she wished she’d told Paul about recent events so she would tell him of this absurd little development. Maybe she should tell Malin that if she had to run around behind Alexi’s back to chase others away, maybe she had larger problems to worry about. Apparently Alexi’s significant other felt less than secure in her relationship with him. Although she could well imagine he was difficult. He always had been.
Chapter 47
The night was growing heavy and Trish was getting annoyed with Cory’s attitude. Obviously he wasn’t happy, particularly when Trish started dancing with this guy, who might have been Danish. Cory was sitting with the others, looking grim. Seriously, what did he expect? Why was he here giving her dirty looks anyway? Didn’t he have a girlfriend to take care of? He never brought her around. If he was so proud of her, why didn’t he bring her around?
It wasn’t her deal, she decided as she continued dancing with the cute blonde. It was time to start looking elsewhere. The world was a big place and she had been too caught up with Cory and what the hell was on his mind. That was over now. It was time to move on.
The cute blonde smiled at her and she felt butterflies in her stomach. His skin was like porcelain with rosy cheeks. Man, he was cute. She could technically go home with him, spend the night exploring a new person. Cory would kick up a stink, probably try to pick a fight with the guy. He had a habit of doing that whenever she turned her attention elsewhere. This wasn’t his business anymore and he needed to get over himself.
Sadly, she wasn’t in the mood to kick off a whole bunch of drama that night. She let the cute Danish boy go back to his friends and returned to their seating area. The world full of boys was exciting though, and now she finally felt open to look. Picking up her drink, she took a sip. Felix was basically unconscious. How had they ended up saddled with him and whatever existential crisis he was having?
No, there was no point hanging around here, really. Why sit around with Cory glowering at her all the time, getting worked up every time she looked at a guy? Maybe it was time to cut the cord. It did her no good dealing with Cory’s antics. Before she had been so tuned into all that crap, she couldn’t pay attention to anything else. Done now.
“Come on, Felix, let’s go home,” she said, slapping him on the knee, expressly because she knew her odd ‘friendship’ with Felix annoyed the hell out of Cory. He just had to get used to her spending time with other guys. Felix groaned. “You useless sack of week-old manure. I might as well take you with me as you’re paying for the taxi,” she said quietly as she forced him up on his unstable legs. They walked with his arm around her shoulder. He would probably collapse otherwise. “Seriously, there is going to be nothing left of your liver soon.”
Felix’s eyes were dark and unfocused. “She’s home now. At my house.”
“Good. Well, at least she’s recovering, yeah?”
They got in line to wait for a cab. She still held him and shook him every now and again to wake him up.
She actually felt okay the next day as she hadn’t overdone it. It had been much later when Amber and Hannah had arrived, noisily making their way up the stairs, laughing through their atrociously bad attempt at being quiet.
Getting up, she made her way downstairs where Felix was sleeping on the sofa, practically snoring. Well, he stunk up their house anyway. Maybe it was time to talk to him about rehab. If you’re depending on perfect strangers to take care of you, perhaps it time to concede that something’s wrong. But she got that he was feeling shit about Shania getting beat up.
Messing around in the kitchen, she didn’t bother being quiet, feeling like something comforting and familiar. Pancakes were the order of the day; a brilliant start to the morning. She wore the blue silk dressing gown she’d bought while travelling through Thailand. It was just right in this climate.
Cory returned to her mind, immediately darkening her outlook. It was always heavy with him, the uncertainty, the constant questioning. She was exhausted from it.
A pitiful groan sounded from the couch.
“Morning, sunshine,” she said.
Felix groaned again. No doubt, he was feeling like death. Well, it wouldn’t be far off if he kept this up. “Maybe it’s time to face your demons, Felix.”
“Maybe it’s time for you to face yours,” he said, his voice like gravel on glass. He coughed.
“What demons? I don’t have any.”
“Not even the hundred kilo gorilla?”
“He’s not my problem.”
“Like hell he’s not.”
“Just shut up, Felix. Isn’t it time for you to go home?”
Felix scrabbled on the table and lit a cigarette.
“At least open the doors if you’re going to do that.”
“He’s in love with you.”
“He’s in love with himself. I’m not buying this ‘I’m in love with you so I’ll run around and fuck everything I can’ spiel. We’re done. End of story. I’m tired of the bullshit and I’m not doing it anymore.”
“I’m not saying he’s a saint, or even that you’re not right. Just that a guy like Cory, you’re it. He’s probably never going to fall for anyone else.”
“He falls every other day.”
“No, he doesn’t. This is it and he’s got no fucking idea what to do. He was just about shaking when you wandered off with that Finnish dude.”
“Danish.”
“Whatever.”
Trish felt the dark feelings press down on her again. Tears prickled the back of her eyes. “I can�
�t do this shit anymore.”
Felix was silent for once. “It’s shit when these emotions have you caught.”
“Well, go deal with it.”
“Ditto, kid.”
“I am dealing with it. I’m walking away.” Ache tightened her chest. What Felix was saying couldn’t be true, and why was Cory her problem to deal with? Cory didn’t feel things deeply, that was always what she’d excused all this bullshit as. Felix seemed to think differently, suggesting if she walked away, he wouldn’t recover. That was bullshit. There was a point to how difficult you could be before people started walking away from you, and Cory had reached that point. “He’s not my problem,” she said quietly, but the tears flowed anyway. They’d gone over this same, familiar territory again and again, and gotten nowhere. “Maybe it really is time to move on, skip out of here. I’ve already stayed longer than I intended to.”
Chapter 48
Turns out he couldn’t not go to the event welcoming a guest lecturer to the business school. Just cocktails, casual dress. Alexi had no intention of going, but as the clock moved closer, the itch only burned more fiercely. For one, he wanted to apologise, even though he had done so already, secondly, he…
Picking up his keys, he walked over to the elevator.
“Are you going out?” Malin asked, walking into the hall.
“Just for a while.”
She smiled and walked over to him, straightening his collar. “Don’t be late,” she said with a suggestive smile. Alexi looked over her features. She was perfection, but even as she bit her lip and stared into his eyes, he felt nothing.
Maybe it was time to have a little talk with her, but he’d felt so uneasy and confused he’d been reticent to make any decisions until he knew what was going on. He needed to get away and broke out of her light embrace.
It was time for her to go and he felt the pressure of another failed relationship. There was no doubt he was a difficult man, exacting and uncompromising. It had been a luxury he could afford, but perhaps it did result in failure after failure. The fact that he never let them in didn’t help either. Sex and arm candy was what he used them for, but now there was an itch, which Malin could never address.
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