“Oh, thank you.”
While he sat down in the chair, I flipped through the laminated pages past the breakfast list. Salads, pizza, sandwiches, seafood, steak, pasta—the descriptions of each item caused my stomach to rumble even more.
Minutes later, while he ordered our desired meals, I closed my eyes and nestled down in the cushions and pillows.
A gentle, salty breeze blew in through the opened doorway out onto the deck, whispering across my skin and drawing out the sweet scents from the fresh cut flowers filling several of the vases around the villa. Even in the heat, goose bumps prickled through my arms, causing the hairs to stand on end.
“They said twenty to twenty-five minutes.”
Opening one eye for a brief moment, I glanced at Rick as he returned to the chair.
“I guess that’s not too bad even though I’m starving.”
“Well, we were supposed to eat at noon, but then someone decided a few hours in the hotel medic sounded like a better way to spend their day.”
“Ha ha. Very funny.”
“I’m just trying to give you a hard time.”
“Given the events of the day, that shouldn’t be hard.”
Heavy laughter burst through his lips. “Ain’t that the truth?”
“Hey now. I thought you said we could start over.”
“You’re right, I did. And we will.”
I propped myself up, squinting a little with the pain still burned through my skin. “So, Dr. Stark, with that in mind . . . what on earth made you look for a job, here of all places?”
He leaned forward in the chair and rested his elbows on his knees, clasping his hands together. “Honestly?”
“Yeah, I think I’d prefer the truth over a lie.”
He gave a slight smile, but within seconds, it vanished and he cleared his throat. “San Francisco hasn’t been a fun place for me to live this past year. It’s full of memories and old wounds that just can’t seem to heal—especially when you run into the one who caused them to begin with.”
“Oh.” I sat up a little straighter.
Although he hadn’t used many details, months of living in the shadows of my former life with Tom helped me understand perfectly.
“I’m . . . I’m so sorry. I know that feels.”
“Anyway, one night I saw my ex, Sandra, with . . . they were having dinner, and I don’t know, something just snapped inside, and I knew I just needed a change in my life, a big change.”
“I understand. I went through all those emotions, too, after I was left at the altar. Of course, I couldn’t really act on them with my job and my whole life tied so close to the city.”
“Wow. I didn’t know that happened to you. That must have been rough.”
“Eh, it’s in the past. No sense in digging it back up.”
Slowly, I adjusted my weight, and rolled on my side as I thought of the man in the lobby. Surely, he was nothing but a ghost in my imagination, a thought so foolish I nearly cringed at my own stupidity.
Rick’s brow furrowed. “I used to wonder what would’ve happened with Sandra, but over time I stopped. Would we have been happy, would we have had any kids, what would our family be like—all the questions I used to ask myself just didn’t matter anymore, ya know?”
“Yeah, I understand.” I bit my lip as my gaze drifted toward the opened doorway out onto the deck. While I’d stopped asking myself those same questions about Tom, they suddenly seemed to pop up in my head. Conversations about kids had been our biggest fights—a daily burden that seemed to hover over us like dark clouds.
He didn’t want children.
And I did.
How I could have been so stupid to think I could change his mind, I’ll never know. Nor how I could be so selfish to think he needed his mind changed. He had every right to say no to children, just as I had every right to want them.
“Helen?”
“Yes?”
“You zoned out on me.”
“Oh, sorry. I just kind of got lost in my thoughts for a moment.”
Our eyes locked, and yet, we didn’t utter another word. He understood in a way that no one else had. We shared something, even if it was heartbreak.
“Can I ask you something?” While I hesitated to ask the question plaguing me, I knew that living even another second without the answer would prove more than I could bear. “How much are you considering this job?”
“Honestly? A lot. Anyone who would pass up this opportunity is a fool. Plus, there’s nothing keeping me in San Francisco.”
“Then why didn’t you tell Natalie yes this afternoon?”
“I’m not about to accept a job in a hotel lobby.” He laughed. “I’ll tell her in a few days when I stop by the clinic. Do you want to go with me? I mean to see the clinic, of course. You could see all the animals. We have several litters of newborn kittens that could use some attention.”
Although his words had punched a hole in my chest, I fought off my utter devastation, distracting myself with a forced attempt to mask my sadness with a joke.
“Let’s see, surrounded by litters of newborn kittens . . . and you think that I’d say no because?”
“I guess I should have known. We’ll go over there when you’re feeling better. So, do you want to eat in here or should we eat out on the deck?”
“Uh, obviously the deck. I mean, have you seen my view?”
We both laughed.
“Do you think you can make it to the table?”
“I think so. My leg still hurts, but I’ll be okay.”
He rose to his feet and strolled over to the phone once more.
“What are you doing?”
“I’m going to add a couple bottles of wine to our order.”
“It’s three o’clock in the afternoon,” I laughed.
“Yes, but baby, it’s five o’clock somewhere.” He winked. “But, if you want to wait, we can save them for dinner if you want.”
“Dinner?”
“You think I’m going to just leave here after we eat lunch? I thought I’d stay for a while if you don’t mind. I doubt you’d want a soak in your hot tub, but maybe a night swim. The salt water will help your burn.”
“Or give me another one.”
“Ah, now, don’t tell me you’re not going to go back in the water again.”
“I was thinking about it.”
“Just give it one more chance. For me? Please? I thought if you were feeling up to it, in a few days I’d take you to swim with the stingrays.”
“Stingrays?”
“I hear it’s one of the most popular activities here.”
“Well, all right. I guess I can give it another chance.”
He flashed me a smile that weakened my whole body, drowning out the world around us until we were the only thing in this room.
As he picked up the receiver of the phone, I sat upright and leaned against the back of the couch. My shoulders hunched. What should feel like butterflies in my stomach felt like stones.
I can’t like him.
He doesn’t want a relationship. He even stated so . . . twice. Besides, even if he did, he’s moving away and leaving San Francisco behind.
I closed my eyes.
I can’t like him. I can’t. I can’t. I can’t.
“Helen?”
Shaking the thoughts from my head, I opened my eyes, meeting his gaze.
I can’t like him, and yet, I do.
THIRTEEN
THE NEXT MORNING a knock rapped on my door. I opened it with a little more excitement than I should have.
“Oh, hi Lisa.”
“Oh, hi Lisa? Well, that certainly isn’t the greeting I expected.”
“I thought you were Rick.”
“I know you were expecting him, but when we ran into him while at the front desk, I talked him into going off road driving with Ben and Jeff. You know, have a little boy time.”
“Why would you do that?” Heat rose through my chest with a soft grumble
of annoyance.
“Uh, so we can talk about what the heck is going on with you two.”
“There’s nothing to talk about.”
She gaped at me with her mouth hung open. “You did not just say that to me.”
I left the door standing open and turned away from her, hobbling back to the couch before I flopped onto the cushions.
Lisa followed me, slamming the door with a loud thud. She stomped through the foyer into the living room and exhaled a deep breath as she sat in the chair next to me.
“What is the matter with you?”
“Nothing.”
“Oh, don’t lie to me. I’ve known you too long to know that this,” she pointed toward me; her finger circled my face, “is not nothing.”
“I just . . . I just had plans today, that’s all.”
She crossed her arms and leaned against the back of the chair. “Oh, I know what this is about. You like him.”
“I do . . . I do not.”
“Yes, you do. You like him.”
“Well, it doesn’t matter if I do. He’s not looking for a relationship, even just a casual one.” She opened up her mouth, but before she could say a word, I held up my hand. “And I know you say that he could change his mind, but I don’t think he will.”
“Why?”
“Because his ex cheated on him.”
“People get over being cheated on all the time.”
“I know, but . . . I just got the feeling that it was something more.”
“Did he tell you what happened?”
“No, and I didn’t ask. It’s really none of my business. I mentioned Tom, but he didn’t ask about that either. Of course, I’m glad he didn’t. But I’ve been stuck in the friend zone now and I just don’t think it’s a zone I’ll ever leave.”
“So then why do you want to spend so much time with him?”
A lump formed in my throat.
She asked a question I had seen coming; one I didn’t know if I could answer. Surely, her words made sense. Surely, her words proved logical. Surely, they held total validity.
“I don’t know. I suppose as much as I thought it would be fun to relax and lounge around here all by myself, I got a little lonely. Sitting at that table waiting for you and Ben that night, the reality hit me.”
“I understand. I’m so sorry we left you there waiting.”
“You don’t have to apologize. This is pretty much your honeymoon. You should spend it with each other. You shouldn’t have to be worried about me or what I’m doing.”
“I’m still sorry.”
“He told me he was taking the job.” My eyes focused on the bamboo floor. I traced the light and dark pattern on each piece of wood, wishing I hadn’t just spoken those words.
“He is?”
“He said he is. He said that he’d be a fool to pass it up and that nothing was tying him to San Francisco anyway.”
She crinkled her nose and scrunched up her shoulders. “Maybe he’ll change his mind.”
Without a response, I simply shook my head and rose to my feet to fetch a glass of water from the table. I couldn’t sit and handle the look of pity from her eyes another second.
“So you’ll never guess who came here with Rick.” I sipped my water, changing my saddened tone along with the subject.
“Who?”
“Logan Hunter.”
“That guy from your apartment building?”
“The very one.”
“How in the world does he know that guy?”
“Seems they grew up together.”
“Ugh. How could someone actually be friends with a guy like that?”
“I have no idea. I don’t think they’re close, but who knows. They’re obviously close enough for him to bring him, out of everyone he knows, along on his vacation.”
“Well, then, maybe it’s better he doesn’t want a relationship.” She gave me a sideways glance and her eyes twitched.
“What do you mean?”
“What kind of a friend could a man like Logan Hunter attract? He loves to party, hates relationships, and treats women like they are only here for his enjoyment and pleasure. He’s a jerk. Who, besides another jerk, would hang out with a man like that?”
Her words crushed me, destroying even the tiniest bit of hope it could find. Although Rick hadn’t shown any characteristic that mirrored his philandering friend, she had a point.
“If he was that type of guy, though, why would he spend time with me and not try something? I mean, he hasn’t even tried to kiss me.”
“He hasn’t?”
“Nope.”
She leaned back in the chair as she crossed her arms. Her brows furrowed together and her lips flattened into a frown. “Hmm . . . I wonder why.”
I shrugged my shoulders and gulped the remaining water in my glass.
“Well, whatever the reason, I guess he has one.” She rose to her feet. “I have to meet Julien to finalize a few things before the wedding and I wondered if you wanted to come with me and help me.”
“Shouldn’t you do that with Ben?”
“He’s been a part of all the major planning, but he said the little details are my choice. I thought I would finish them with my best friend. I thought we could spend the afternoon together. You know, have some lunch, and maybe visit the spa. I haven’t seen you since we got here.”
“Of course, we could do that. Let me get my shoes on.”
Before she could say another word, I limped into the bedroom and slipped my feet into my flip-flops. They smacked against the bottoms of my feet as I followed her out the door, down the dock path, and across the grass toward the hotel lobby.
* * *
“I’m ready to relax. How about you?” Lisa glanced over her shoulder as we entered the hotel spa. “We have a few hours before the guys get back. I say we make the most of . . . oh wow.”
Sheets of glass adorned three of the walls and the ceiling, drawing in the luscious views of the palm trees and beach surrounding the hut. Waves crashed in the distance, their sound drowned out by the fourth wall that breathed life into such an oasis. A solid wall of stone with rock shelves brimming with plant life and a cascading waterfall that pooled in the corner of the room.
“Good afternoon, ladies,” a woman behind the desk greeted us as we spun around in circles, taking in the beauty. “Do you two have an appointment?”
“No, I’m sorry, but we don’t.” Lisa’s lips curved into a frown. “We were hoping we could just walk-in.”
“That’s quite all right. We get walk-ins all the time around here.” She fetched a couple of binders from one of her drawers and handed one to each of us. “Here is a list of our treatments. When you have chosen which ones you would like, I can check the schedule to see if there are any available time slots. You both may have a seat in our waiting area while you decide.”
I followed the woman’s finger as she pointed to a couple of rather plush couches filled with fluffy pillows near the pool of water. White and red played along with the several different shades of brown.
How is a place like this even real?
“So what are you thinking?” Lisa asked as she sat down and nearly disappeared in the fluff.
“I have no idea.”
Page after page, the seemingly endless list proved better and better with each description I read. Different types of massages from stone to honey to aromatic oils caught my eye, as well as a bamboo and sea salt exfoliating body scrub. Facials, pedicures, manicures, and a variety of packages rounded out the list.
All tantalizing.
All enticing.
All sounded too good to be true.
“I don’t know if I’m going to be able to make up my mind.” Lisa giggled through her overwhelmed tone. “There is just so much I’d love to do.”
“Well, we could pick a couple of them and then come back another day. I mean, it’s not like this is the only day we can visit the spa, right?”
“Well, I don’t know
how much time I’ll have after the wedding. I might be able to sneak away for one day.” She paused as she glanced up. Her eyes glossed over as0 a huge smile spread across her face. “I can’t believe it’s in two days.”
“I know. This trip has already gone fast. I can’t believe we only have four more days left.”
“Right?” She tapped her finger against her lip. “I guess it’s only been, what, two and a half days, but still.” She closed the binder with a thump. “Okay, well, if I had to pick two, I’m going to go for the sea salt body scrub and the hour stone massage. What about you?”
“I don’t know, I’m still thinking.”
“I’m going to check and see if those are available now.”
“Okay.”
I continued to scan the descriptions while she made her way to the receptionist—their conversation barely audible over the waterfall behind me. The last of our conversation replayed in my mind and the words four days left, repeated like a bad song on a broken record player.
If I was already feeling the way I was about Rick after a mere two days, then what would I feel after six? And how would I feel knowing that even though we would both return to the same city, he would soon move away?
I closed the binder, letting it thump against my lap. I didn’t know what spa treatment I wanted, but I knew that no matter how long I studied this book, I’d never know. My mind was in too much of a mess to choose one over the other. Scrubs, massages, treatments, none of them sounded even remotely relaxing in this moment.
I can’t do this. I can’t be here.
I rose to my feet and tucked the binder under my arm.
“Have you decided?” Lisa asked as I approached.
As I opened my mouth to answer, another door behind the desk opened and out strolled Logan with his arm draped around a bikini-clad brunette. He nuzzled his nose into her neck as she giggled and their bodies glistened as though coated with oil.
I drew my chin down toward my outside shoulder and pressed my hand against my cheek, hoping to hide my face so he wouldn’t see me. What I hadn’t planned on was Lisa seeing him.
“Logan Hunter.” Disgust hissed through her voice as she crossed her arms.
He glanced away from the girl. His head jerked back a bit before he cocked it to the side. His eyes narrowed and he pointed a finger at her, shaking it a few times as though he searched his brain for her name. Catching sight of me standing next to her, a smile beamed on his face.
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