by Evie Rose
“Dex,” I stand unmoving in front of him, needing him to tell me that I heard wrong.
He glances at me briefly but continues to suit up. “Get a move on O’Conner. We’ve got two people trapped in this blaze. Hurry the hell up.”
Another violent turn in my gut, acid rising up to my throat. I swallow down the urge to be sick. Two people trapped. Two. It keeps repeating in my mind, taunting me. Please let it not be them.
“What address did you say?” He pulls on his boots and looks over to the truck. I shake his shoulders to get his attention. “Answer me, damn it!”
He repeats the same address as before and I’m rooted to the spot, terrified.
“What the fuck’s wrong with you, Luke? Snap out of it.” He turns me around and shoves me towards my locker. My body feels heavy, as I force myself to move through the shock. All my actions are mechanical, as I suit up and jump into the truck.
The sirens drone on and on. My heart beats with each tick of the clock, millions of thumps trying to escape a cage that barely contains it. It is taking a lifetime to get there. This can’t be the second time I fail an entire family. I should have insisted it wasn’t safe for her to go back home, encouraged her to leave straight away.
My vision is blurring from the sweat that drips profusely down my brow, and the red lights around the vehicle. By the time we arrive at the property, I’ve pulled myself together. I scan over the carnage, immediately forming a tunnel vision to the top left window. Dex was informed by the operator that the caller is trapped in that room. He gave us the run down on the way over.
“Someone, get the ladder,” I shout to my crew, my voice is thick and hoarse, yet determined.
“I’m on it,” Jake yells back.
Fiery sheets of bright orange dance towards the ceiling, only a couple of meters behind the window we need to access. “Hurry up about it.” I’m unable to hide the panic that laces my words. I can’t fail, I’d promised to protect her and Ricky, and the easiest way for someone to get hurt is for me to panic. I need to keep my cool and to think logically, no matter how much emotion I’ve invested into saving this family.
Screams pierce through the air as the glass windows on the bottom level explode, shattering into pieces. Jake and Dex hold the ladder up to the rescue point and I hit it running. Please God, give me the ability to save them. I shoot a silent prayer to above. If he’s listening, I require all the help I can get. I know I don’t deserve it, but Roxi and Ricky sure do. Especially after all they’ve already endured.
“I’m coming,” I call up. Although I highly suspect she can’t hear me over the splintering wood, the crackle of the flame and the constant woosh, as something new catches alight. The fact that I can’t hear a small child’s frightened cry as I get closer, worries me. It occurs to me that I might find her husband in this room, and I really hope that isn’t the case. I’d be tempted to leave the bastard there to burn alive.
The heat is intense. I’m worried that the fire will shoot up through the floorboards at any given moment. “If you can hear me, stand back or try to cover yourselves. I’m breaking the window.” Without hesitation, I shove my elbow through the glass repeatedly, creating a large hole. Billowing plumes of dark smoke instantly hit my face mask, covering it in a layer of soot. The fresh oxygen generates a giant suction hole, and the flames roar towards me.
I wipe my face shield and breathe a sigh of relief at the sight in front of me – Roxi standing up on shaky legs, with Ricky in her arms. Horrid wheezing noises are coming from her mouth, but she’s alive.
“Pass him to me,” I encourage. She passes his tiny lifeless form to me and I race back down to the ground. One of the guys takes him out of my hands as a loud crash sounds behind me. Turning, I find part of the right hand side of the roof collapsed.
“Everybody, stand back,” the instruction comes from the chief. Like hell. When Jake and Dex move the ladder away, I ignore direct orders and rip it out of their hands. Leaving Roxi up there isn’t an option. This time around I’ll save the family or die trying.
“Luke, I said stand back!” The chief’s hand rests on my shoulder. With no time left to argue, I spin around and knock him out of the way with the ladder, then place it back against the quickly falling structure. He’s going to be pissed if I make it out of this alive.
When I get to the top, my heart sinks to my feet as I’m met with an empty frame. I stick half of my body through the gap and scoop her up off the unstable floor. “I’ve got you.” I look down at her blistering skin and feel sick to the pit of my stomach. I want to cradle her to me and beg for forgiveness, but against all instincts, I throw her body over my shoulder and fly down the rungs of the ladder.
An ambulance stretcher is already waiting at the bottom and I place her on it. Within moments they have her covered up in a space blanket, place an oxygen mask over her mouth and are wheeling her away to treat her burns.
When I try to follow, a strong set of arms stop me and whirl me around. The chief. Even through the shield covering his face, I can see the fury. It blazes stronger than the fire. Red cheeks full and huffing. Stone cold eyes, narrowed and shooting daggers. Yeah, I’m in deep shit, but it’s worth it.
“You bloody fool. Get on the damn hose, you idiot.”
A second truck is pulling up to assist, and I need to see how Roxi and Ricky are. If the chief was pissed before, he’s likely to be livid now. I could get fired for this, but stuff it. “Sorry boss, I’m out. I know this family. I’m not an asset to the team right now, I’m too distracted.” With that being said, I take off my helmet and mask, dropping them to the ground on my way over to the ambulance.
Roxi is conscious again and trying to sit up, but the paramedics won’t let her. She mumbles incoherently under her oxygen mask. The burns on her arms look extremely painful, though it’s obvious she’s in too much shock, has too much adrenalin coursing through her body to realize they’re there.
Her stretcher still sits on the footpath, while one of the paramedics moves stuff around in the vehicle getting ready to load her in. As I dash over to her side, she manages to lift the mask off her face. “Ricky,” she rasps. I glance over at the paramedics working on his motionless form and try not to cringe. He’s being loaded into the ambulance.
“I’ll go with him and when he’s settled into a ward I’ll come and find you,” I attempt to reassure her.
“Jo... Joseph,” She stutters.
I don’t understand what she is telling me. “Was he in the house?” I try to clarify.
She shakes her head. “Escaped. Dangerous,” she struggles. “Keep Ricky safe.” Shit. Just what I suspected. I’d bet money this asshole started the fire.
“Oh my God! Roxi, what the hell happened, are you okay?” A flash of red hair passes by as a frantic looking woman pushes me aside to get to Roxi. “Where’s Ricky? Is he okay?”
The last thing Roxi needs right now is someone in a panic throwing questions at her and distressing her further. I place my hands on the woman’s shoulder to get her attention and attempt to settle her down. “Ricky’s in the other ambulance. They’re both going to be fine.” I’m trying to assure myself just as much as the two women in front of me.
Roxi’s friend glances between the paramedic and me, before leaning into Roxi and quietly asking, “Where’s Joseph?” The heart rate monitor that is attached to one of Roxi’s fingers starts beeping faster and her eyes go wide. So much for helping her to stay calm.
“You and Ricky are safe. No one is going to hurt you anymore. The police will find him. I promise; it’s going to be okay.” I keep my voice even and calm, even though adrenaline is still flowing through my body. This whole scene feels like one of my nightmares. I need to touch her, to reach out and be certain she’s real, that’s she’s alive, breathing, and safe. Her heart rate slows as I trace my hand along the side of her face, and I take comfort in the fact that I’m able to get her to relax.
When I look back up, Roxi’s friend has a guy
beside her and they are both looking at me questioningly. I have no time for introductions though. I can see the ambulance Ricky’s in, getting ready to leave.
“Take care of her for me please. I’m going to the hospital with Ricky.” I glance back down at Roxi, “I’ll take good care of him, I promise. I’ll see you soon.”
As I jog over to the other ambulance I hear someone at my side, “I’m Mark, a friend of Roxi’s. I’m coming with you guys.” I nod my head and climb into the back of the ambulance with Ricky, as Mark gets in the front with the driver.
I’m relieved to see Ricky’s chest rising and falling and that his eyes are now open. They look up at me, scared and blue, standing out from the soot that covers the rest of his face. His tiny little body is shaking under the blanket he is wrapped in, and fast short breaths sound from under his oxygen mask. He’s terrified, but alive. Placing my hand on top of his through the blanket, I try to console him. I let him know my name and that we are meeting mummy at the hospital, but I don’t think he takes much of it in.
“Doff,” he attempts to speak but his words are muffled by the mask. I raise it slightly to hear what he says.
“Where’s Daddy?”
Chapter Fifteen
“Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever” - Gandhi
Roxi
I watch Mark chase after Luke and wish I could go with them too, but when I tried to get up, the paramedic gently pushed me back down and told me I was in no condition to move. I’m not worried about me though, just Ricky.
All I want to do is get off this stupid stretcher and go be by his side. I wonder if he’s frightened, or even worse, still unconscious, and gut wrenching desperation churns my insides to get to him. The thought that Joseph could still be lurking around out there doesn’t pass me by, and suddenly I’m glad that Luke found out my disturbing secret. That he’s there, protecting Ricky.
“Oh, Roxi, I’m so sorry we weren’t here sooner,” Rachel leans in cautiously and embraces me. “When we pulled up to the sight of your house on fire, I was worried sick. I should’ve never left you in the first place,” her voice is full of remorse and the last thing I want her to feel is guilt. I shake my head unable to speak. It’s not her fault. It’s not even my fault. I know that Joseph is the only one to blame.
As I’m wheeled into the back of the ambulance, it sinks in how close we were to not making it out of this situation alive and I start going into shock. Deep inhalation of the oxygen from this annoying mask is doing nothing to lift the weight crushing down on me. It’s difficult to breathe. My pulse is rapid, thundering so hard it fills up my whole chest.
What if Ricky is feeling this same way? I need to get to him. I push myself up and start to rip off the mask, anxious to be with him.
“Calm down ma’am. You’re not doing your son any favours by getting worked up. He’s in capable hands and he’s going to need you later, so you have to let us treat you properly,” the paramedic tries to persuade me. I make an effort to relax. Imagining Ricky’s small hand clasped in Luke’s larger one helps. I remember how safe I felt in his arms this morning and hope that’s how Ricky feels too.
My heart rate evens back out and Rachel climbs up into the vehicle and sits beside me. “I’m right here, Roxi.” She squeezes my hand giving me something to focus on. She anchors me when my fears threaten to spiral out of control.
The double doors close, effectively cutting off the vision of my life literally turning to dust. We drive away, leaving the evidence of horror burning behind us, and I know the worst is yet to come.
The further we go, the less tense I become and the pain from what my body has just gone through starts to make itself known. It radiates up my arm then screams up my neck. It shoots to the centre of my brain, making me want to gnaw my own limb off just to get rid of the agony. Surely that would hurt less. Blisters fester along the skin. I remember my arm being treated in some way back at the scene, but only now am I paying attention. A needle is being inserted into my hand. I can’t feel it, but I can see it. Before long the pain dulls, but it doesn’t completely fade away.
*****
The hospital is a blinding white, bright and unpleasant. I can’t get comfortable on the hard bed with the starchy sheets. It’s the last place I want to be. Nurses and doctors bustle around the emergency ward. They dart by so quickly I can’t get their attention to see what’s going on with Ricky.
“Concentrate on you, Roxi. You need to make sure you’re well enough to look after him properly,” Rachel urges.
Only, I can’t even contemplate my health when I have no idea how Ricky is. This is ridiculous. I’m his mother, I should be with him. We arrive in a vacant room and I sit up, getting out of bed to go search for him. I’ll rip the I.V. out myself if I have to.
“Sit back down and let me check your vitals.” An older nurse walks into the room and orders me to get back on the bed.
“I need to go check on my son,” I try to sound firm, but it doesn’t affect her.
“Look,” she sighs, clearly exasperated. “If we don’t treat the burns on your arm then they could get infected. How about you get your friend here to check on him, while we treat you?”
I’m frustrated, but also I don’t want to get angry at the people who are looking after me. Tears sting behind my eyes and I blink them free.
“I’ll be right back with information, okay Rox? You hold tight, I’ll be as quick as I can.”
“Thanks Rach,” I sniffle.
The doctor comes in and tends to my arm, which is incredibly painful, but nothing like the agony of being separated from Ricky right now. He turns my arm this way and that, studying it carefully and I hold my breath as he traces his finger over the top of one of the lines I cut into my skin. I resist the urge to pull out of his grasp and hope he doesn’t say anything. I can’t cope with that course of questioning tonight, not with everything else that’s happened.
He seems to understand my apprehensions and gently places my arm back down before going to get some non-stick dressing and a bandage. I let out a sigh of relief and nervously glance towards the door for any signs of Rachel.
While I continue to wait anxiously, a police officer comes in and asks me some questions. Sympathetic to how overwhelmed I am, he limits his queries to the events of tonight, even though he realises there’s a lot more to the story. After that, he takes some photos of the marks on my neck and the burns I received. He assures me that a guard will be by my door all night. He asks me to come in tomorrow to file a protection order and make a statement.
“We’re going to do everything in our power to find your husband, as soon as possible.” He briefly speaks to the guard outside my room, before letting me know, “I’ll be in touch.”
The doctor comes back and finishes treating my arm. “You’re extremely lucky that all you obtained were surface burns. Before you leave, the nurse will show you how to clean the wounds and redress the area each day until it heals.” He puts on the non-stick bandage and leaves, just as Rachel re-enters the room. She lets me know that Ricky is fine and will be wheeled in shortly. We’re both being kept in overnight for observation.
“Mark and I are going to head off and pick up Lachlan from his Grandma’s. Are you going to be alright?”
I glance up at Mark, waiting patiently by the door and nod my head. “Thanks for being here, both of you, I really appreciate it. I love you guys and I promise never to leave you in the dark again.”
Rachel leans in to give me a hug goodbye and whispers in my ear, “We won’t let you. It’s good to have you back. I’m just sorry for what you had to go through to find your way.” She stands back up and tells me she’ll be back in the morning with some spare clothes for Ricky and me, then heads out the door.
It seems like hours before I’m finally able to see Ricky again. The nurse gave me something to try and help me sleep but it hasn’t worked. To be honest, I’m fighting it; struggling through the fog that threat
ens to take over. I’m restless and agitated and I don’t want to be hazy, I need to make sure that Ricky is okay first.
“Mummy.”
I lift my head to see him being wheeled into the room. One look at his troubled face has me in tears. I ache to hold him in my arms and tell him everything will be okay now, but we’re both stuck in separate beds. We’re side by side and reach out to touch each other’s hands. So close yet so far away.
“Hey baby. How are you feeling?”
He scrunches up his nose as he thinks about it, like he always does when he’s deep in thought. However, the only answer he gives is, “My throat hurts.”
Luke, who’s been lingering by the door, comes over to Ricky’s bed. “Hey buddy, my name’s Luke. I’m a friend of your mum’s.” He pulls over a chair and sits down beside him. “I met you earlier in the ambulance, remember?”
A small smile fills Ricky’s face. “You held my hand when I was scared.”
“I did. You were so brave.” He glances up at me, admiration shining in his eyes. “Both of you.” Our gazes lock and I can’t look away, I’m lost in the intensity. It takes me by surprise and my breath catches.
A throat clears as the nurse walks back into the room. “I’ve got some hospital gowns and towels for you. I thought you might be more comfortable after a shower.” She glances between Luke and I, appearing a little unsure, before asking, “Would you like me to help you both to wash, or do you have all the help you need?”
“No... We....” Luke and I both start to speak at the same time.
Luke chuckles. “We’re not together. I’m just a friend.” He stands up and pushes the chair back. “I can go grab a coffee and come back in a bit. While I’m gone, would you like me to get an ice block for that sore throat of yours, Ricky?”
I speculate if he’s been around kids before or if its basic first aid training that gives him this initiative.
Ricky looks at me for permission and I nod my head.