by Claire Adams
“Oh God, Paul!” I breathed out as he continued his expert assault of my body. He began licking me, stopping to leave a kiss every inch or so, licking the underside of my breasts and causing my whole body to convulse. His hot tongue licked down to my belly button and after torturing me there for a few seconds, he continued on down to the top of my mound. As he moved his sexy face down between my legs I reached behind me and found the pillows. I propped my head up so that I could watch him. I didn’t want to miss a thing, he was so fucking sexy.
I watched as he slid his hands underneath my ass and pulled my panties off. Then sliding one hand under me again, he lifted me up to meet his lips. He used his tongue to trace my folds gently at first and then he actually sucked one of my outer lips into his mouth. I had to turn my face and bite down on the pillow then to keep from screaming. When he released that one and did the same to the other a cry did escape my lips. I was moving my hips, wanting more but he continued to sweetly lick me around my upper thighs and the outside of my pussy until I finally took the back of his head in my hands and pushed him into me. He finally took my clit in between my lips and began to lick it. I was squirming and moaning until he bit down on it. It wasn’t hard enough to hurt, but it was crazy erotic enough to almost send me hurtling through the roof. I cried out again, hoping that the walls were thick enough that the neighbors weren’t getting an earful.
He delved into my pussy with his tongue then, running it all over and giving my clit a lick each time he moved up or down or across. I was bucking my hips when suddenly I felt his tongue against my clit again and a finger at my entrance. I pushed down with my hips so he would enter me and when he did I experienced a full-body shudder that almost felt like a seizure. I was moaning and mewling as he slipped in another finger and began to work them in and out while never taking the pressure off of my clit with his tongue. I swear to God, I thought I was going to die. I had never experienced anything that felt that good before and unless it was this man, doing this very thing, I doubted that I would again. I was on the verge…I felt like I was dangling over the edge of the cliff and the tsunami of an orgasm was just about to knock me over when he stopped. I moaned, loudly. He looked up at me with a grin and then with one long, slow, final lick he moved his head up again and began to crawl up my body. He paused just long enough to slide on the condom that I hadn’t even noticed him taking out of the wrapper and then he kissed me hard on the lips. I licked my own juices off of him, loving the way they tasted on him. While I was doing that, he was lining his body up so that the head of his cock was pressing against my entrance. I clenched my teeth and drew in a sharp breath as he pushed into me gently. I lay still, as much as I wanted to bear down and force him to move the rest of himself inside of me. He teased me, pushing halfway in and then pulling back out, sliding the head in and taking it out. I took it as long as I could before finally grabbing his ass in both of my hands and driving him into me. He moaned that time and I felt his hard erection slide across my swollen clit as he moved it in and out of me. He started out slow, increasing his pace as he went along with me prodding him slowly from behind. I was ready to come again. I started thrusting my hips up faster, taking him in deeper. I felt the muscles in my pussy clench tight…just as he pulled out of me again. I growled that time. “You’re killing me!”
I felt him smile against my skin. He was already headed back down between my legs and I felt like I was going to cry…right up until I felt him cover my clit with his mouth. He began licking it again, hard and fast. I was making noises that even I didn’t recognize and I swear it would have felt so fucking good to just scream at the top of my lungs.
“Oh God Paul, stop baby! Fuck me, please! I need you back inside of me.” I was surprised I had the air to get all that out. He didn’t make me ask again thank God. He moved back up and buried his cock deep inside of me. This time he fucked me hard. Our bodies slapped against each other with each one of his thrusts. I was groping his ass again and moaning and mewling against the side of his face when suddenly I couldn’t take it one more second. Even if he pulled out this time, I was going to cum.
"Oh Paul…oh damn! Oh fuck!”
He began pumping even harder, and then suddenly while he was buried as deep inside of me as he would go I had the most incredibly powerful orgasm of my life. In the middle of it, I felt all of his muscles go rigid and the hard cock inside of me swell and grow harder. I swear I had just died and this was what heaven felt like.
I felt him move over to the side and when he slid out of me I shivered violently. I body suddenly felt like it was missing a part of itself. He reached down and deftly swept off the condom and then hung over the side of the bed to deposit it in the trash can there. He lay back down on his back and reached over to pull me up on his hard chest. I laid quietly, feeling and listening to the constant beating of his heart against my own. My hair was a tangled mess and I was covered with sweat.
He kissed me on the side of my face and said, “You’re beautiful.” I shuddered again.
CHAPTER FIVE
I woke up the next morning in Paul’s warm arms and after another mind blowing round of sex, we showered together and he drove me home. He left me off with a scorching hot kiss. I practically floated into the apartment before I stopped dead in my tracks. As soon as I opened the front door I knew something was terribly wrong. All of my furniture had been moved into the center of the room and I could smell paint. I stood there looking around and saw that the walls were covered with trees and rocks and rivers. My mother is somewhat of an artist. I just never would have guessed she’d get a wild hair and re-decorate my apartment without permission.
“Mom?”
She came almost running from somewhere down the hall. Her pupils were so dilated that from across the room her eyes looked black. She was wearing an apron over her pajamas and a pair of snow boots. Her hair was sticking up in every direction. She looked like a mad scientist.
“Mom, what’s going on?”
That was when she smiled. It was the same sick little smile that she used to give me when I came home from school to find her wasted. She was tweaking…again. “Hi baby. What do you think?”
“What do I think? Are you fucking insane? Mom, what did you take?”
She tried to pull of an innocent look, but it didn’t work at all. She was doing that thing with her mouth where she continuously smacks her lips and her neck kept twitching to one side. She was high, there was no denying it. “I didn’t take anything, baby. I don’t do that anymore.”
“Where did you get the money to buy anything? Who did you buy it from? Oh God Mom, please tell me you didn’t have Justin over here.”
“A man came over.”
“What? When?”
“I don’t know. Last night…maybe this morning….”
“Who was it, Mom? What was his name?” God, what if it was Mitch and he saw her like this. It was perfect…the thing he could use against me, my junkie mother.
“I don’t know,” she was using her whiney voice now, the one that made me want to slap her.
“Think, Mother. Was he old? Young? Was it the nice looking guy who took me out the other night? Was it a cop?”
“Why would it be a cop? I don’t want to go to jail, Jessie!” She started crying, “Please baby. I’ve been sober…I just slipped.”
“Oh Jesus, Mom. You’re not going to jail. I just need to know what happened here when I was gone.”
“I used the money you left me for food,” she said in a rush. I’m so stupid. First rule you learn in Al-Anon is not to leave a junkie home alone with cash. Jesus! This is just what I fucking needed.
“Mom, come here and sit down.” I tried to take her by the arm but she jumped back like my touch burned her skin or something. I hated it when she was like this, mostly because I never knew if I should be pissed or worried that she was going to drop dead. “Please, Mom.”
She finally sat down on the couch, as far from me as she could get and perched on the
edge of it like she was preparing to have to run away.
“No, please tell me where you bought whatever it was you took. No one came here, did they?” When I had been with Justin I’d seen my fill of dealers and junkies. There wasn’t a single one of them I’d want in my home. It freaked me out just thinking about it.
“A man came by. He was looking for you.”
Shit! “I know, Mom. You told me. But what about the drugs? Who sold you the drugs?”
“I don’t do drugs any more baby. I’m sober.”
“Shit!” I jumped up off the couch and so did she. She really looked like she was about to rabbit out the door. I took a deep breath and in an even…relatively calm tone I said, “I’m sorry, Mom. I didn’t mean to yell at you. I’m just worried about you.”
“I love you, baby.” The tears were streaming down her cheeks now.
“I love you too, Mom. Maybe you could go take a shower and clean up. I think that would make you feel better. I’ll make some coffee and when you’re finished, we’ll talk.” I was making decaf that was for damned sure.
She sniffed up the snot that was running out of her nose and in a shaky voice she said, “Okay baby. I’m sorry I made a mess.”
I looked around at the murals. “Don’t be sorry, Mom. They’re kind of pretty. We’re going to get you some help, okay. Go get cleaned up.”
I watched her go down the hall and I went into the kitchen to make coffee. She must have worked all night. The cabinets all had little woodland creatures painted on them. Shit! Hopefully the apartment manager doesn’t come by for anything before I get this cleaned up. I started the coffee and sat down at the table with my phone. I typed in narcotics anonymous meetings and our city. I got about a million hits. I narrowed it down by date and neighborhood and found one that was at a church a few miles away. It said they had one tomorrow night.
I called the number listed and a man answered, “First Baptist Seventh Street. This is Mike, how can I help you?”
“Hello. I was wondering about your NA meeting tomorrow. Is that open to newcomers?”
“Of course. Everyone is welcome.”
“Good. My mother was sober…for a while. I honestly don’t know how long. I’m not sure how much of what she tells me is the truth, you know?”
“I do. It’s difficult.”
“To say the least,” I said. “Can I get directions? I think I will bring her down tomorrow, if I can convince her.”
He gave her the directions and then said, “If she refuses to come you’re welcome to call me for advice, or come anyways. We have some really good programs here for the families as well.”
“Thank you,” I told him. “I will do my best to get her there.” I hung up and went to check on Mom. She was sitting naked on the edge of the bed. She looked like she was in a trance. “Mom? Were you going to shower?” She looked up at me like she didn’t know me. It took her a good ten or twenty seconds to process who I was…I could see it on her face.
“Hi baby. I was just getting into the shower. A man came by…”
“I know, Mom. Come on, I’ll fix the water for you.” I fixed it so the water wasn’t too hot or too cold. Then I laid out a clean towel and laid out a sweat suit for her that I found in her things. I also found some little white pills in a clear plastic baggie on her nightstand. There were only three in the baggie. I wondered how many had been there to begin with. I flushed those down the toilet. I’m sure we’d have another knock down drag out when she went to look for them…but too fucking bad.
She looked a little better when she got out of the shower. I had to help her get dressed and then I blow dried her hair for her. I brushed and straightened in and then because she asked me to, I helped her put her make-up on. I didn’t tell her that what she looked like didn’t matter. We weren’t leaving the house today. Once she came down off her high and crashed, I was going to start cleaning up her mess.
******
I worked on the apartment that entire day. There wasn’t much I was going to be able to do about the landscape murals on the walls, but I got the rest of the place cleaned and the furniture put back. My mother had finally crashed about an hour after she had her shower. She slept all day and through the night…thank God. When she woke up on Sunday morning she was starving. I made her a big breakfast and after she had that and her coffee I said, “Mom, I talked to someone at the Baptist church nearby. They have NA meetings and programs there. I’d like to take you to one tonight.”
“I don’t need to go to NA, Jessie…”
“Mom, please don’t do this. I came in here yesterday and you had redecorated the entire apartment. Your pupils were the size of quarters and I found a baggie of pills in your room. You had taken so much…whatever the hell it was that you were practically incoherent. First and foremost, I love you and I’m worried about you. But second…you cannot stay here if you’re using. You think I won’t kick you out on the street, but bring drugs back in here and you’ll see how wrong you are.”
She was looking down at the table, not making eye-contact with me. When I finished talking she pulled her head up slowly and peeked out underneath her hair like a child. “I’m sorry,” she said. It was her favorite line. It was supposed to make everything magically disappear.
“That’s a start. But I’m sorry is not good enough, Mom. You go to the meeting tonight, and promise me you will not bring drugs back in this house…or I can’t help you any longer.”
“I don’t want to be like this,” she said. It was pathetic and no matter how angry I wanted to be, I knew she was telling the truth about that much anyways.
“I know, Mom.” I reached over and put my hand on hers. “I don’t want you to be this way either, because I love you, okay?”
“You’re the only one, Jessie. You’re the only one that never leaves me.” She started crying again. I just hugged her and let her cry it out. Sometimes that was all you could do. The rest of the day she acted embarrassed every time she looked at the walls and she kept apologizing. She fixed us lunch and we watched a movie together and when it was time to leave for the meeting, she didn’t complain.
I told her we needed to take the bus because my car was having some problems. The truth was that I was worried still about Mitch. She couldn’t even remember telling me a man came by when she sobered up, much less who it was. I was also going to meet Paul after I dropped her off and I wanted to make sure that I wasn’t being followed there.
When we got off the bus I walked her to the door. She looked scared and I felt really bad leaving her. She knew that I couldn’t stay though. The meetings were confidential and if I waited for her, I’d have to sit outside in the dark.
“It’s going to be okay,” I told her. She nodded, but she didn’t look too sure. “This is a safe place. Here,” I handed her the bus pass I bought for her and said, “Just wait right over there where it let us off. It will drop you in front of the apartment. If I’m not home when you get there, don’t let anyone in, okay? No one, Mom. Remember what I said earlier, okay?”
“I got it,” she said. I could tell she was annoyed with me. She used to tell me I talked to her like she was a child or an idiot. I used to tell her back that if she didn’t act like a child or an idiot, I wouldn’t talk to her like she was one.
Trying to sound more upbeat than I felt I said, “Good luck, Mom. I’ll see you at home.”
She nodded again and turned and went inside. I stood there, feeling guilty about…I don’t even know what. I finally turned and went back over to the bus stop. When the bus came I got on it, changing buses twice before I finally got on the one that would take me to the small town where Paul’s sister and nephew were at. When I got off the bus there, Paul was waiting for me.
“Hey,” he said, giving me a kiss before we got into his truck.
“Hi.”
“No problems getting here?” He was asking nicely if I made sure I wasn’t followed. I didn’t tell him that I felt like a Bond girl sneaking around from bus to
bus.
“No problems. I was really careful.”
“Good. I’m glad you’re here.”
“Me too.”
We drove for about ten minutes and Paul parked his truck in the lot of a Chinese food restaurant. We went inside and he ordered take-out.
When we got back outside and I started towards the truck he said, “We’re going to leave it here.”
“Oh, okay.” I knew he was being careful. He took my hand and we started walking. We walked through a little town that sat not too far from the city we lived in, but looked like an entirely different world. To me it looked like it used to be a little fishing village or something. The houses and markets and even the schools were piled on top of each other, a jumble of different colors, styles and materials. One house would be made out of brick and the next would be a two-story Tudor style. There were wooden ones that looked like cottages and in the midst of it all were trees…everywhere you looked were dense green trees that seemed to almost twist out of the buildings in some spots. Some of them were leaden with unpicked fruit and gave the whole town a sickeningly sweet kind of smell. It was a strange little place, and I found it even stranger when we left the residential area and came to a whole row of what looked like abandoned buildings. It was an old strip mall, and some of the buildings looked to barely still be standing. Everything on this side of the little town looked like it had sat and been baked by the sun for decades.
Paul led me to what looked like a gym, but a really old one. The roof was flat and made of aluminum or sheet metal. The building was wooden and painted a shade of red usually reserved for barns. The front door had a big padlock and chain on it which Paul surprisingly had the key to. He unlocked it and pushed in the double doors. I stepped into a work-out room from the 1970’s. It was almost surreal.
“What is this place?”