“This is useless,” she muttered, tossing aside the shirt she idly worked to knit. She couldn’t focus on the project. No woman could be expected to sit still and fiddle with such mundane tasks while plagued with the thoughts which crashed about in the chaotic sea of her mind.
Rising from her chair she brushed away the wrinkles of her dress, admiring the delicate lavender silk, its brilliant sheen more noticeable in the light streaming through the window. White lace accented her slender wrists from under the soft fabric of the sleeves, the color of her skin nearly blending with the pale hue. A bit of sun would do her some good. Add some color to her complexion. She was beginning to look ill. Her parents would begin to ask questions if they took note of her sickly pallor. As long as she didn’t venture far and was indoors again before dark, there seemed little harm in taking some fresh air.
Her heart pounded excitedly at the thought of feeling the sun upon her face. The soft thud of her slippered feet echoed through the spacious room as she hurried toward the door, unable to help the smile that crossed her gentle features. Oh, the things she would do when she reached the courtyard! The flowers were in bloom and several fruits would be ripened in the gardens. A bouquet of fresh wildflowers would be a perfect addition to the dreary décor of her chambers. Their vibrant colors perfect to add a splash of life upon the bedside table to brighten her spirits.
Grabbing an apron from off a hook near the door she stepped into the hallway, finding her way swiftly through the corridor that led to the stairs. Her smile widened when her feet touched the landing, triumphant, as if she had overcome some great feat. You are being absurd. It was a simple walk outdoors. Why was she making such a fuss?
A noise from somewhere inside the home brought her to a halt in the foyer, her joyful expression fading instantly. Kaori recognized her mother’s voice, unsettled by the distress evident in her tone. Her words were audible from where Kaori stood though the responses her mother’s desperate pleas received were hushed and impossible to make out from the distance between her and wherever her parents were. Something was wrong. It wasn’t like her mother to sound so frantic. She was a calm woman by nature, though at times perhaps a bit irrational when it came to her children. But Kaori couldn’t blame her for that. Kaori was her mother’s only daughter and by this stage in her parents’ lives, it was unlikely they would ever have another child beyond her and her brother. It was important Kaori’s reputation remain clean and clear for the sake of carrying on the family legacy when she was finally permitted to seek a husband.
Overcome by curiosity she let her feet slide quietly away from the door, slow and steady, careful not to make any noise which would draw attention to her eavesdropping. With every step she was able to make out the words more clearly. Her mother’s insistent arguments were met by the voices of both Kaori’s father and her brother, their voices soft, soothing, trying with the utmost care to calm her mother’s anxiety.
“She is not old enough, Etyn,” her mother’s voice rang clearly through the door of the sitting room, reaching Kaori’s ears with ease.
Her father responded quickly, cutting her mother off before she could continue. “I understand your concern, but you know she has already been held back for too long. We cannot shelter her forever.”
“I am not asking for forever. Just a little longer. At least until her thirtieth birthday…”
“Mother, most families release their daughters at the age of twenty-five. The townspeople are beginning to ask questions. Do not pretend you haven’t heard the whispers. They think Kaori is disfigured or afflicted with some ailment which forces us to keep her out of society. It is not fair to her.”
Kaori swallowed hard, pressing against the wall to keep out of sight. It pained her to consider what her brother said. Did people really speak of her in that way? Did they think her some kind of leper? Her mother’s desire to keep her locked away was sure to bring social consequences. Perhaps that was her intention. To create enough commotion that Kaori could never be released into society. There were benefits to the possibility. No risk of scandal with the family name. Her mother would never have to suffer the sadness that would inevitably come if Kaori married and moved away from home. But none of these reasons were in the best interest of the family. She was the eldest child. The assumed heir to the Levadis property and title. If she was shunned by society, it would all be passed to her brother, leaving her with nothing in the wake of her parents’ deaths.
“I understand your concerns, Sivar, and I sympathize for the humiliation it may bring you – but she will be thirty next spring. Can you not allow me one more year with my daughter?” Her mother’s desperation was growing. Kaori could hear a faint tremor in her words.
Slowly Kaori inched along the wall, peering around the open door to see inside the room. Her mother was seated on a high-backed chair, tears streaked along her high cheekbones, blackened lines from her cosmetics creating a noticeable mark where the salty liquid fell. It was a strange look for her. Kaori couldn’t recall ever having seen her mother cry before. She was a tenacious lady. Strong-willed. Well-respected by everyone in Rothdara and beyond. It was unlike her to let something so trivial bring her to this grievous state.
Kaori’s father stood a short distance away, his body leaned against a sturdy mahogany table, the tips of his fingers idly rubbing over a piece of parchment held firmly in his hands. He looked distant. Thoughtful. Pondering his wife’s words. Heaving a sigh he let his free hand weave through the long strands of ebon hair which hung over his shoulders, shaking his head, discouraged. “I wish I could grant you more time, but as her father I am forced to look at this from a different perspective. The Duke of Avishul has personally requested her presence at the party,” he gestured toward the parchment in his hand. “It would be a slight to deny him and we would be fools to pass up the opportunity. The Duke is a good man. Respectable. Wealthy. If he takes an interest in Kaori, a marriage between the two would be beneficial. Our daughter would be a duchess. Can you not see the security that would provide us?”
She drew in a sharp breath at her father’s words. A duchess? Her manners were hardly refined enough to catch the eye of a powerful man like the Duke. It was overzealous of her father to entertain the possibility.
Her brother nodded in agreement from his position next to their father. “Even if the Duke is not enticed, the gathering is guaranteed to bring some of the finest men in Carpaen. I hear the Count of Tialore will be in attendance as well.”
“You name prominent men of Vor’shai heritage yet you fail to take into account the number of humans who will be there. Their males take more of an interest in our women. I am not ready to see my daughter placed before them like some delicacy. Etyn, how can you even consider this? Is her marriage to the Duke really worth that much to you?”
“Katri, I do not think you realize how much it would be worth to all of us,” her father mused. “If not the Duke, Sivar makes an excellent point. The Count of Tialore would be a fine suitor for Kaori – and he has made it clear that he is actively seeking a wife. For us to wait on an opportunity like this would be a mistake.”
“I still want to know why.” Her mother’s will to fight was waning. She was outnumbered. Nothing she said was going to change the minds of her family.
“Why?” Etyn stared at his wife in confusion. “Do you honestly not see –”
Katri threw her arms in the air, frustrated by the argument she continued to receive. “Of course I see the reasons why it is beneficial. What I do not understand is why the Duke has chosen to request her presence. He does not know her. The only reason he is aware of her name is because you and I have mentioned it while in his company. There is nothing I can think of which would make him desire to meet her so suddenly. It makes me suspicious of his motives.”
“My dear, you are being paranoid.” Etyn chuckled, the stern expression on his face softening to see his wife giving in. Confidently, he crossed the room to stand at her side, pulling her to him in
a tender embrace, his lips lightly pressed against her forehead. “We have known the Duke since he was child. He would never do anything to harm Kaori.”
Sinking into her husband’s chest, Kaori’s mother sighed, clearly discouraged. “Very well,” she conceded. “I will allow her to accompany us to the ball but she must perform the required rites before we leave. I cannot have her gallivanting around society without properly finding her way into adulthood.”
“There is no time, darling. You have argued too long on the matter and wasted the precious few days we had to prepare. If we are going to attend this gathering, we must be on the road to Avishul the day after next.”
“Then she must begin the rites this instant. If she prepares herself now, there would be just enough time…”
“I will not have her making the journey to Avishul half-starved and on the brink of exhaustion. Our hope is to make her look presentable to the eligible men. We cannot accomplish that if she is ill.”
“But what will people think if they find out we are allowing her in public without completing the rites?”
“No one is going to know. We will only be in Avishul a few days. She can complete the rites when we return to Rothdara.”
Kaori wasn’t sure what to think of her family’s decision. She was to attend a ball? A real ball; complete with courtiers and noblemen from across Carpaen. Her heart raced in fear of all the things that could go wrong if her parents allowed this to happen. She’d never spoken to a man other than her father and brother. What was she supposed to say? What did they expect her to do? Conversation would be nearly impossible to maintain. She knew very little about society and current events within the government. If her father was any indication of what the other men of status preferred to speak of, she would find herself lost in a sea of politics while the women would have more gossip than Kaori’s mind could handle.
Head cradled in her hands, she tried to calm her racing thoughts. For years it had been her dream to finally be released into society, so why did it frighten her so much? They would be in Avishul, which lessened the chances of her running into the mysterious T.L. She would be safer at a gathering further from home where no one would recognize her.
Still, she couldn’t help the nagging worry that lingered in the back of her mind. What if her mother was right? What if she wasn’t ready for this? She wouldn’t know unless she tried. What was the worst that could happen? No… she didn’t want to answer that. There were so many things!
Pushing away from the wall she straightened her dress, checking her hair to make sure every strand was in place. If she was going to have a say in this matter, she would have to find an excuse to interrupt the conversation and let them know her opinion. A bit of work with her mother on refining her social skills would be enough to prepare for something like this. Besides, it wasn’t as if she was being introduced to the Emperor. A couple blunders in the presence of a few respectable men wouldn’t do much to harm the reputation of her family. The only man she had to fear making a fool of herself in front of was the Duke.
Satisfied that her appearance was tolerable she moved toward the door, straining to keep a lighthearted smile on her face, feigning ignorance of the tension in the room. The agonized look in her mother’s eyes was all she needed to see for her to drop the false pleasantness, staring at her with genuine concern. “Mother, what is the matter? Is everything alright?” Keeping with the act, she turned her attention on her father, glancing between him and Sivar.
Her father smiled, stepping away from his wife to greet Kaori warmly. She accepted his embrace, the pressure of his arms around her surprisingly delicate. He was acting oddly. It wasn’t like him to treat her like a fragile porcelain doll. “We have something to tell you, Kaori. Please, if you would sit by your mother.”
So soon? She’d expected to utilize more chicanery to drag the topic of the ball from her father’s lips. Barely able to contain her nerves, she gazed up at him, nodding obediently. It would be a challenge to pretend she knew nothing of what he was about to say. She would have to be cautious of the words she chose in response to the news. With graceful strides she made her way to where her mother was seated, carefully drawing another chair to situate herself at her side. Back straight, she clasped her hands in her lap, staring at her father, expectant. A gentle pressure over her hands came from her mother’s trembling fingers, reaching over to Kaori in a gesture of forced comfort.
“Your father received a letter a few days ago from the Duke of Avishul,” her mother stated quietly, motioning toward the parchment still held in Etyn’s hand. “He is conducting a rather important social gathering. It is not often he hosts a ball, so when an invitation arrives… I am sure you can understand the obligation we are under to attend.”
Kaori shook her head, confused by her mother’s roundabout explanation. She didn’t understand at all. What made the Duke of Avishul any different from the other dukes and duchesses who held parties on an almost weekly basis? “I do not see why we are obligated to do anything. Surely he would understand if there were circumstances which prevented us from attending.”
Her father smiled, lowering his hand to lay the parchment on the table next to Sivar. “Perhaps I can elaborate.” Stepping forward he assumed a position of authority at the center of the room, beckoning Sivar to come stand beside Kaori and their mother. When their father spoke, they were required to listen. If he gave the order for Kaori to attend the ball, there would be no arguing against it. The weight of his words would hold firm. “Kaori, my dear, you are of an age when a young woman should enjoy the company of others. We have kept you closed off longer than I think was wise but I understand your mother’s concern in releasing you to the world – which is why I have never argued the decision, until now. The Duke has requested your attendance by name. A personalized summons of this sort is not one I take lightly. Especially not from him. He is a powerful man and a well-respected one at that.”
“And wealthy,” Sivar nodded in emphasis. Their father glanced at him, his expression stern at first, slowly softening into a thankful smile.
“Yes, one cannot overlook the size of his income. The man is practically royalty in his own right.”
It was difficult for her to hold her tongue. There was so much she wanted to say! Why did her entire family feel the need to tiptoe around the point? She was an adult. She could handle the blunt truth. “I fail to see what his bank account has to do with my attendance at the ball. Are we in some sort of financial distress of which I am unaware?”
“Of course not,” her father shook his head with a quiet laugh. “But the Duke is a good friend. I have always viewed him as a potential suitor for you, though our decision to shield you from society has made it difficult to consider any form of arrangement. His sudden interest in meeting you has made me realize that we may not have time to continue playing games where your future is concerned. The Duke will not remain unmarried forever. Whispers have begun that he has been seen courting Lady Endeli. I cannot help but think you a more suitable match for him.”
“I suspect I see where you are going with this,” Kaori lifted her chin, confident and defiant. This was her chance to state her opinion. With the facts laid out, there was no longer fear of her father discovering her prior eavesdropping. “You intend for me to accompany you to this ball so I may be flaunted in front of the Duke as a prospective wife. If he is such a dear friend of yours, do you not think he would be offended to learn of your interest in his pocketbook being joined with ours?”
“His pocketbook is merely a benefit of the engagement. We have no need of his money.”
“His title then?”
“Not in the least,” her father frowned, unhappy with her accusations. “We are a respectable family, Kaori. We do not involve ourselves in deception and trickery but we must utilize caution when it comes to who we bring into the family. The man you marry will inherit the Levadis name. This makes the decision far more complicated than you can imagine. I consider the D
uke because he is a good man and I feel he is more than capable of caring for you after your mother and I are gone. Based on your reaction, I am beginning to wonder if it is he who would be done an injustice in being paired with you.”
Surprised by her father’s harsh words she let her posture relax slightly, nibbling her lower lip in nervous contemplation. She didn’t know what to say. Her outburst was uncalled for. It was inappropriate to accuse her father of the things she did when in her heart she knew his intentions were pure. He wanted her to be happy and she was so afraid of letting him down that she was practically throwing this opportunity out the window.
Leaning back in her chair, her eyes scanned the room, falling briefly on her mother’s tormented expression before finding herself staring into the disapproving gaze of her brother. She was being unreasonable. Possibly a bit irrational. And for what reason? What purpose would it serve her to lose a chance at becoming a true member of society? “I am sorry, Father,” she whispered, swallowing hard, afraid that she may have already said too much to consider asking forgiveness. “I simply do not see how a man of his stature could ever take an interest in me. He is rather above my station.”
The tension in her father’s shoulders eased. He nodded, seeming to agree with her concerns. “I understand, Kaori. In truth, I have considered this as well. Some might think that as the daughter of a count and heir to land and title, you would be of suitable status. Unfortunately, I am not foolish enough to assume this as fact, which is why I have taken note of several other men at court who would be equally felicitous.”
The Myatheira Chronicles: Volume Four: In the Beginning Page 3