“Well… what if we win? The humans who fight against us will not be easily convinced to fall in line.”
A smirk passed over Ramis’s lips, making no attempt to conceal his amusement at the question. “When we win, that will be up to the Queen to determine.”
“That is just it,” the man continued, gradually building up his courage though his eyes remained unwilling to meet Kaori’s curious gaze. “Will our Queen take over the throne as Empress? She… she may not be accepted by the humans the way she is by us.”
It was a good question. One Kaori had asked herself since the day she first discovered Therek’s decision to name her as Queen. Why that title? Carpaen was an empire. His rightful title was that of Emperor, yet he bestowed upon her a position which indicated an unexplained agenda. Maybe now he would take the opportunity to enlighten them all.
Intrigued, she turned toward Therek, chin lifted, silently willing him to answer. He was the only one who knew. And judging by the curious stares of the others, she wasn’t the only one who wanted to hear what he had to say. His response was simply far from that which everyone appeared to hope for. “Unfortunately, we are a nation in progress, which means we do not have all the answers yet. Possibilities, yes, but no solid decisions. Our Queen has much to think about while we prepare for war. Battle must be at the forefront of everyone’s mind, including yours. There will be time to plan what to do with our victory after we achieve it.”
Frustration prevented Kaori from listening to the responses Therek’s statement received. Of everyone in this room, Therek was the only one who knew what he was thinking and what his plans were for Carpaen in the event of victory over Sulel. It didn’t make sense that he was keeping so much hidden. What was he hiding? What was the purpose of everything he’d done since their arrival to Namorea? Making her Queen. Naming Liurn Captain. Gallivanting off to the mainland for weeks without word. Perhaps there was some dark secret he feared anyone discovering. A secret relationship with Sulel’s wife? The two seemed oddly close… Stop it. She couldn’t let jealousy distract her from the matters at hand. And that was exactly what it was. She envied Mhina for her status and training as a proper lady. If anyone was going to steal Therek from her, it would be the Empress.
It was depressingly humorous to realize what she was thinking. No one was going to steal Therek away from her. How could someone steal something that wasn’t hers in the first place? A single kiss didn’t indicate possession. Especially when he was so hesitant and unwilling to offer her anything once their lips separated. His lips. Her eyes trailed across the table to where Therek continued to speak, watching the movement of his mouth without hearing the words being spoken. That moment with him had been all she could think of since he left her in Namorea those weeks ago. At the forefront of her mind, haunting every dream, every thought. This was what he meant about love complicating things. She was so consumed by the emotion that it prevented her from focusing on the things which were more important in that moment. The meeting. People were still talking and she was oblivious to any of it. What good would she be as Queen if she couldn’t learn to prioritize? Their victory over Sulel was more important than her feelings for a single man.
“Your Majesty?”
Blinking to regain focus Kaori stared at Ramis, aware that he had said something but unsure exactly what. “Yes?” she asked, inhaling a deep breath at the realization that everyone was looking at her. It was becoming very clear that Ramis asked a question which had gone unheard, leaving her feeling like a fool on display for these people.
“Is there anything more you wish to discuss before we adjourn the meeting?”
Adjourn? But they had only just started! How long had she been lost in her reverie? “I…” her voice trailed off. There were plenty of things she wanted to discuss. This just wasn’t the place. All her questions were for Therek and him alone. Until she was able to get him away from these people, she had no further use for the watchful eyes of the others seated around this table. “I can think of nothing which has not already been covered, for now.”
“Very well,” Ramis nodded, shifting his attention to let his gaze slide over every face seated before him. “We will continue our plans as discussed and coordinate as needed. Everyone knows what to do. We have a war to win and there remains much to prepare.”
Distracted by the lingering thoughts in her mind Kaori watched the men and women slowly starting to clear from the main hall, the chairs around the table gradually beginning to empty until she remained the only one still seated. Her eyes were locked on Therek, following his every movement as he stood near the doorway, conversing with several of the men who had been present at the meeting though she couldn’t place names to their faces. Complete strangers. She didn’t know these people yet she was angry with them for standing between her and Therek. If she was going to clear her head, she needed to talk with him. Now. It couldn’t wait any longer or she was sure to go mad.
In her peripheral vision she could see Liurn coming toward her. He looked hesitant, his eyes moving around the room to make sure no one paid him any mind. Regardless of whether anyone was watching, Kaori was self-conscious of what these people might know about the incident between her and Liurn. If she allowed him to get any closer, their suspicions were sure to grow – if they possessed knowledge of that horrible moment at all. It was a risk she wasn’t willing to take. Enough of her time had been devoted to Liurn for one day. Now she needed to focus on Therek.
Quickly, she pushed her chair back, rising to her feet in a fluid motion, hands on her skirt to lift the fabric from the floor to grant more freedom of motion as she began a determined stride toward the door. She didn’t care how suspicious her actions might appear to those who watched. The men were already leading Therek out into the hall, lost in their casual banter, unaware of Kaori’s presence at their heels. They moved so fast! Her legs were trembling, making it difficult to keep up her hastened pace, nearly tripping over the material of her dress. Gathering the folds up higher she tried to regain her steady pace, stumbling out into the hallway after the men. From somewhere behind her she could hear Liurn calling her name. Insistent. Concerned. I don’t have time for this.He meant well but right now he was in the way. She had to find Therek and get him alone somewhere before Liurn thought to come between them again.
Voices carried down the spacious corridor from somewhere nearby. Like a hound on the hunt Kaori’s eyes darted up and down the hallway to find the source, certain that if she located the man whose words floated upon the air, she was sure to find Therek as well. To her relief she could hear Therek’s familiar voice intermingled with the others. Talking. Laughing. Friendly conversation to appease their allies. Getting him alone was beginning to seem like an impossible feat. He was making himself unapproachable. Was it possible that was his intent? As juvenile as it sounded, she couldn’t deny the fact that it very well could be the truth. She was likely the last person on Namorea Therek wanted to speak with. What better way to avoid her than to keep himself surrounded by his male peers.
Therek’s nature was the only thing which might work to Kaori’s benefit. He wasn’t known for being the most sociable creature. Eventually, he would tire of the company he kept and retire somewhere to be alone. She just had to stay vigilant. Close. If she let him out of her sight, she risked him slipping away. He had volunteered himself to be the first to return to Carpaen. There was no way to know how soon he planned to depart. Maybe if you had been listening at the meeting you would know what his plans were…
Scolding herself quietly she continued to follow behind the men, her heart speeding up to see them starting to disperse. It was late in the day. She could hear faint pieces of their farewells, wishing each other a restful sleep. The sound was broken by the incessant call from Liurn somewhere behind her, the steady thud of his boots making their way down the hall. Damn. He was persistent when he wanted. She just didn’t have the patience. Not right now. Her heart was set on too many other things to deal wi
th his nonsense again. Increasing the speed of her steps she hurried to catch up with Therek, following him around a corner into a smaller corridor. Grateful to find that the last of his friends had left, she closed the gap between them, hand reaching for his sleeve to stop him from moving forward any further. Casting a watchful glance over her shoulder she checked to make sure they were still out of Liurn’s sight, the fingers of her free hand grabbing onto the handle of a nearby door to drag Therek inside. She paid little mind to the perplexed look she received from him as they stumbled into the room together, Kaori’s arm instinctively moving to shut the door, hiding them away from Liurn and anyone else who might get in her way.
“We need to talk.”
Managing to regain his balance Therek brushed at the fabric of his doublet, eyes locked on Kaori with an expression of shock and disbelief. “Have you lost your mind?” he peered at her, clearly curious by her strange behavior. Not that she could blame him. Taking a moment to consider her actions over the past few minutes, she wasn’t entirely sure she understood what she was thinking either.
Suddenly aware of what she’d done, she began to doubt whether her decision had been wise. They were alone, surrounded by darkness, the only light visible through the room being that of Therek’s eyes, their azure glow narrowed where he fought to see her more clearly. She took comfort in the cover of the shadows, relieved to know that Therek wouldn’t be able to see the uncertainty she felt. “I need answers,” she stated simply, impressed by the steadiness of her tone despite the rapid beat of her heart which sent her pulse racing at the thought of being so close to him. He was right there. It would be so easy to just reach out and take him in her arms. But she couldn’t. Now wasn’t the time.
“I fail to see why you could not have asked your questions at the meeting like everyone else.”
“Because the answers I need are not of any interest to the others.”
“No?” The word had barely reached Kaori’s ear before a flash of azure light burst forth from Therek’s hand to illuminate the area just enough to cast an eerie glow over his face where he stood, rigid and still, eyes locked on her in an almost angry glare. “There is nothing which I can think of to discuss that does not involve our allies. We should not be intruding on the private rooms of the Ambassador’s home.”
Nervous at the reminder of her rash decision to essentially kidnap Therek from the hall, Kaori let her gaze sweep the room around them. It was a small chamber, devoid of much in the way of furniture other than a small settee positioned against the far wall and a few wooden tables decorated with plants and tiny sculpted figurines whose designs she couldn’t quite make out in the dim light. It was a small miracle to find that they hadn’t stumbled into the sleeping quarters of anyone else staying in Ramis’s home. For now, her actions hadn’t proven too embarrassing aside from having to explain herself to Therek. “You… must have questions for me, I’m sure. I can explain what you saw between myself and Liurn.”
“Is that what this is about?” Therek’s brow rose, seemingly amused by the detail. “Kaori, I am not a child. I do not require an explanation for your actions with other men.”
Taken aback by his response Kaori stared at him in disbelief. “Surely you must be curious…”
“Of what?” he took a step closer, the light from his palm brightening with his approach, forcing Kaori to bring her hand up to shield her eyes. “You are a grown woman, Kaori. By now I have learned that you are more than capable of handling yourself.”
“You do not understand. What you saw was not what it appeared.”
“My eyesight is not compromised, Kaori. I saw a man kissing a woman. What else could it have been?”
“I did not want to kiss him.”
“Do you think I could not see that?” Therek asked, leaning forward to peer deeply into Kaori’s eyes. His words caught her off guard. If he looked close enough, she was convinced he would take note of the confusion she experienced to hear him agree.
“If you… saw that I did not desire Liurn’s affection, why did you appear hurt to find us together?”
The hardness of Therek’s expression softened slightly, contorting into a pained grimace before he managed to regain his composure. Straightening his posture he let the glow of his energy dim, allowing Kaori to lower her hand and meet his stern gaze before speaking again. “Do you think me so heartless that I would not be affected by such a sight? The reasons for my discontent at finding you in his arms are too numerous to count, though I assure you none of them were from a belief that it was your desire to be near him.”
“Then what was it, Therek? If you knew I did not invite his lips, why do you distance yourself from me the way you have done since you found us together? I thought you would be happier to see me upon your return from Carpaen.”
“My heart was filled with joy at the thought of seeing you again. But that was before I saw Liurn’s lips upon yours.”
“You said it yourself that it was obvious I did not wish it to be so. If that is the case, then why do you hold it against me?”
“I do not,” he shook his head in mild irritation. “I am not one for dramatics, so I will tell you this. From the day we met, I held a fondness for you which I have not felt for a woman in many years. But I was not the only man whose heart you stole. Liurn made it clear his affections were set on you, and as his friend, I am bound by honor and loyalty to suppress whatever feelings I may think to possess. Before I left for Carpaen, I let my guard down and allowed myself to be taken in by the thought of having you as my own. When I returned and found you in his arms, I was quickly reminded of the reasons why you and I cannot be together.”
She didn’t know what to say. Of all the things she prepared herself to hear, this was the furthest from what she expected. Yet somehow she should have known. Over the past several months he had said and done many things which supported his admission. It just didn’t make sense. Why would he insist upon bestowing honor and loyalty to a man who did not provide the same respect in return? “I don’t understand,” she replied quietly, lowering her eyes to the floor. She couldn’t bear to look at him. The pain in her heart was too great to consider the possibility that she might lose Therek because of a one-sided friendship he held with a man for whom she carried no romantic feelings. “Liurn has been a terrible friend to you. His behavior is appalling and undeserving of the kindness you bestow upon him. There must be some other reason…”
“There are plenty of reasons, Kaori,” he interjected, the pain-filled look returning to his eyes. He looked miserable. Tormented by the emotions their conversation stirred inside, though what those emotions were, Kaori couldn’t be sure. For once he failed to exhibit his usual perfect calm and somehow it made him even harder to read than before. “You have heard the stories of my reputation,” he frowned. “In my younger days, I regret to say that my interest in a woman could be quite fickle, sparked many times simply by knowing another man desired her. Everyone at court knew this. If I were to make my interest in you known, it could have the potential of destroying us both. My past makes my intentions appear malicious while your association with me would brand you as a salacious woman who was easily swayed by a man as lecherous as me. I care about you too much to allow that to happen.”
“That was a long time ago. People cannot possibly still hold those things against you.”
“Liurn would be sure to remind anyone who may have forgotten. Your image is too important now. I cannot be the reason our people lose respect for you.”
“My image means nothing!” she exclaimed, unable to hold it in any longer. It was killing her inside to hear him speak the way he did. Why did it matter what anyone thought? The only reason she was anything to anyone was because of Therek. If her being Queen was the best reason he could come up with for why he couldn’t be with her then she had a few choice words to say to him. “I didn’t ask for this crown, and I do not love Liurn. If it is my image you worry about then take the crown back. The people will have
no choice than to respect you if you are Emperor.”
The light from Therek’s hand flickered briefly, revealing a break in his concentration which was otherwise imperceptible in the shadows. His voice lowered, returned to the usual calm Kaori was used to hearing from him, though the lines on his face remained creased and strained, clearly suffering from whatever thoughts continued to race through his head. “There will be no need for me to wear a crown if we win this war. The Empire is falling. Carpaen as we know it will never be the same.”
“That may be so, but someone must rule over what is left. By rights, the crown is yours.”
“It fits you better.”
“And you think I want to rule over a broken empire?”
“No,” Therek shook his head, the light from his eyes slowly lifting to meet Kaori’s again, steadier this time than before. “You will rule over a flourishing nation of our kin. Leave the humans to Mhina and her son. When last I spoke with her, she was insistent that an agreement must be made to secure her son’s succession before she would aid us in our cause. Your very presence here tells me that she voiced this request and you favored the possibility.”
Reminded of her time in the Eykanua prison, Kaori could still hear Mhina’s desperate request on behalf of her son. Pleading with Kaori, as the future Queen of the Vor’shai. The memory brought with it more questions which required answers. The decision to sign over the throne wasn’t one which had been made in fear of not returning from his recent voyage to Carpaen. It had been Therek’s intent all along. “Why, Therek?” she asked, ignoring the confused look he gave at the odd response to his previous statement.
“I beg your pardon?”
“I want to know why,” she said, matter-of-fact in her tone. It was a logical question. Therek’s hand had sculpted this all from the very beginning and it was about time he finally told someone what he hoped to accomplish. “You never intended to step into the role of Emperor. From the moment you presented that will to Sulel, you have plotted ways to pass the crown to me. What I don’t understand is why. I am beneath you, Therek. Even before Sulel stripped us of our titles, I was not fit to be in your company. The great Duke of Avishul. What reason could you possibly have to believe I am worthy to rule over an entire nation?”
The Myatheira Chronicles: Volume Four: In the Beginning Page 75