Kaori stared at Nichele through the flickering light of the flames, her heart aching for the pain visible in her friend’s strained features. “Why did you not tell me of your father’s illness?”
“I did not think it important enough to trouble you with. You have an entire kingdom to worry about. The deteriorating health of one man hardly seems worth your time.”
“The health of a man such as your father is certainly worthy of my attention. You are one of my ladies, Nichele. My friend. I must insist that Lord Evantine be brought to Sivaeria so one of my physicians can properly evaluate his ailment.”
Blinking in disbelief, Nichele straightened her back against the chair. “You… what?”
“Send word to your mother. Have your family brought here so they can be in your care until your father’s health is restored.”
“You are too kind, Your Majesty. I could not possibly…”
“Do not make me command it, Nichele. It is my desire to help, if you will let me.”
A faint smile passed over Nichele’s lips, though only briefly, the expression quickly replaced by the sadness which had been visible upon Kaori’s first mention of the Evantine family. Something continued to weigh on her mind, though Kaori couldn’t be sure what. At her sharp intake of breath Kaori leaned forward slightly, anxious to hear what her friend might say.
“I will do as you request, but it changes little for my family,” Nichele sighed. “My father is old, Kaori. Even if he is restored to health, he is no longer capable of providing for his wife and children. Our crops are not enough to feed my brothers and sisters if he cannot work.”
Kaori’s heart wrenched to think of how much Nichele suffered. For so long already she had been at court with Kaori and never once let on that there was anything troubling her. It pained Kaori to think she could have done something months ago to help Nichele’s family and that now it may be too late. “I feel terrible that I did not speak with you on this matter sooner,” she nibbled her lower lip thoughtfully, running over the words in her mind that she’d intended to speak before hearing of Nichele’s plight. Now seemed as good a time as any to present the news she hoped to provide under less dire circumstances. “You see, Nichele, I have decided to expand Voiene into a county the way it should have been long ago. The reason I wished to speak with you was because it is my intent to name you as Countess.”
Nichele stared at her, dumbfounded. Lost for what to say in return. She was quiet for a moment before managing to regain her voice, a slight tremble noticeable in her words as she spoke. “You want to make me… a countess?”
“No one else is more deserving of the title,” Kaori smiled, pleased by the barely contained joy which flickered in the blue light of Nichele’s eyes. “Once the reconstruction has been completed on the palace, I can have a new home erected in the countryside of Voiene which will be more suitable for a family of noble rank. The Evantine family shall receive an increased income, in addition to that which you already receive as one of my ladies. You will not have to worry about your family any longer.”
Nichele was on her feet instantly, the palm of her hand clasped tightly over her mouth to restrain the exclamation of praise she fought to keep in. The sleeping child in Kaori’s arms made it difficult for either woman to express their excitement. It was important they keep their voices low to avoid waking the baby. “If I was not concerned about hurting your child, I would hug you,” Nichele replied quietly through the fingers still pressed over her lips to muffle the sound. “I do not know what to say. No one has ever bestowed such kindness upon my family before.”
“You need not say anything,” Kaori nodded in understanding. “All I ask is for your continued loyalty. My days are about to become far more stressful with the addition of my daughter. It will be difficult to face the people at court, knowing the things they whisper behind my back. I will need the help of my friends to keep me strong.”
The happiness in Nichele’s eyes faded slightly, sympathetic to what Kaori endured. “You have heard the rumors then?” she asked, slowly lowering herself back onto the soft cushion of the chair. “I did not think you knew.”
“Pehrona told me of the suspicions regarding the child’s father. How some believe my daughter may be of mixed blood. Half Namiren. The audacity of these people.”
“Yes, it is amazing what their minds concoct when it comes to gossip. I nearly laughed a woman out of the dining hall the other day when she suggested the child may be a product of your captivity in the human prison. It seems some have no concept of time or they would realize your escape from Eykanua was far too long ago for a child to only just be born.”
Closing her eyes, Kaori tried not to take offense at the thought. Did these people have nothing better to do than sit around and think up these ridiculous explanations? Still, she found herself curious. Nichele was more knowledgeable of the discussions taking place amongst the courtiers. If anyone knew the extent of the stories being passed throughout the palace walls, it was her. “I am almost afraid to ask who all has been considered as a possible father. It seems no one is safe from speculation.”
“The list is somewhat short, really,” Nichele shrugged, leaning forward to rest her elbows on her knees in a casual stance. Less rigid than before. “Some believe the father is the late Captain Torust. His name is most talked about given his known association. Witnesses claim to have seen you bestow public affection upon him prior to his death. Others have contemplated the possibility of General Losuva, given his reputation with women and the closeness his position requires in regards to you. Those who prefer more scandal speak of the time you spent in Namorea with Ambassador Ramis. Very few mention your time in captivity, though when it is brought up, I have heard it suggested that the child was conceived, unwillingly, at the hands of Deliao, or even Sulel himself.”
Disheartened by the amount of talk which so clearly circulated throughout her court, Kaori sank against the pillows, reminded of the difficult task she would face once word of the child’s birth was confirmed. She could only imagine how the news would reach Therek. He would be devastated. Angry. She should have known it would be impossible to tell him herself before word spread to Siscal.
Overcome with the familiar sensation of guilt and dread, she let her head fall forward, the soft lines on her face contorting into a grimace as she fought back the tears which threatened to fall. Immediately, Nichele was at her side, her hands reaching out to gently rest upon Kaori’s shoulders in a desperate attempt to console her. “I am sorry, Kaori. I should not have said anything…”
“It is not you,” Kaori sobbed, hugging her child closer to her chest. The pain she felt now had nothing to do with Nichele. It radiated from her heart at the thought of what Therek would think of her once he heard the news. How horribly she wronged him by keeping the secret of the child from him for so long. In the tumult of her emotions, Kaori nearly forgot the presence of her friend, her thoughts spilling forth before she could stop them. “I am a fool,” she whispered quietly. “My mistakes will haunt my daughter forever and now she may never know her own father if he does not forgive me.”
“Forgive you?” Nichele questioned, leaning forward to wipe a tear from Kaori’s cheek before it fell onto the baby in her arms. “I may not be the most educated woman at court, but I know what is required to conceive a child. If you are concerned about forgiveness, it is safe to say you consented to the act, in which case, General Losuva has no right to be angry.”
Horrified, Kaori stared at Nichele, wide-eyed, unsettled to hear the true identity of the child’s father spoken from her friend’s lips without provocation. Was it a test? Did she truly know Kaori’s secret or did she simply say the words in hopes of garnering confirmation from Kaori’s reaction? “Losuva?” she peered at Nichele, aware that she was failing miserably in her attempts to conceal the shock she experienced. “What makes you think it is the General?”
Amused by Kaori’s terrified expression, Nichele’s lips curled into an almo
st devious smile, lowering herself onto the mattress to hold Kaori’s desperate gaze. “I am not blind, Your Majesty,” she chuckled, reaching out to brush another tear from Kaori’s cheek. “It wasn’t difficult to deduce. You forget I was close enough to uncover the secret of Therek’s participation in the rescue efforts in Rothdara when we took chase after Deliao and his men. Since then, it’s been obvious that everything he’s done was for your benefit. The man never left your side while you were unconscious during the trip to Namorea. I saw it in the way he looked at you in Avesian, and again upon reuniting in Rakleld. But do not worry. I have not divulged the information to anyone. Your secrecy on the matter made it clear that you hide the truth for a reason.”
Trembling at the realization that her secret was no longer her own, Kaori’s mouth hung open, breath held in preparation to speak though no words formed on her lips. She didn’t know what to say. If Nichele had been able to determine the truth, there was no telling how many others had been able to do the same. “No one can know,” she whispered. “I did not… how could I have made it so obvious?”
“It was not obvious to anyone else,” Nichele shook her head, the gesture intended to comfort Kaori. Unfortunately, it did nothing to ease the racing of her heart, staring at Nichele in wait for her to say something more which might add weight to her words and make the consolation more believable. “Had I not discovered his presence during the rescue in Rothdara, I may not have come to the conclusion with the same certainty,” she continued, pressing onward at the sight of Kaori’s continued discomfort. “No one else heard the concern in his voice when you collapsed at our feet upon returning to your home that morning. While the physician tended your wounds, I spoke with him to inquire of the reason he came back after you dismissed him so harshly during the meeting. He didn’t speak of the rebellion or a desire to aid his people. All he could talk about was how he had to help you. To protect you from Deliao. I am not much of a romantic, but as a woman, it was clear he was fighting a losing battle to conceal his love for you.”
“I…” Losing her train of thought Kaori frowned, staring off into the distance to try and make sense of what Nichele was saying. The rescue in Rothdara had been so long ago. It seemed impossible that Therek’s feelings could have been so noticeable to anyone when she failed to see it herself until his lips found hers in Namorea. Could it be that she had been oblivious to his love before then? “We should not be discussing this,” she sighed, turning her head to meet Nichele’s gentle gaze once again. “I cannot risk the truth leaving this room. It would destroy everything.”
“It would quell the rumors of the child’s heritage being less than pure.”
“But no one can know Therek is the father.”
“Why? Is he ashamed of the child?”
“The man doesn’t even know the child exists!” Kaori hissed, glancing nervously toward the door. They were saying too much. Someone was bound to overhear if they weren’t more careful.
Silenced by the admission, Nichele’s eyes shifted between Kaori and the baby, a look of understanding slowly starting to come over her. “You… did not tell him?”
“How could I?” Kaori released the tension in her body, carefully observing the baby to make sure she remained asleep. Satisfied that their conversation hadn’t disturbed the child’s slumber, she lifted her gaze to Nichele, voice lowered, conscious of the possibility that they might not be the only ones awake in the palace at this hour. Enslye and Pehrona could return at any moment and Kaori couldn’t be sure they would be capable of keeping such a secret to themselves. “Therek wants nothing more than for our people to serve me as their Queen. He fears our relationship would cause him to be viewed as an authority figure above me and requested the truth of our affair be kept secret. When I inquired of his opinion regarding children, he insisted a family was out of the question. I did not have the heart to tell him it was already too late.”
“You cannot keep it a secret forever. Your child is heir to the throne. The people of Tanispa will celebrate the news and word is sure to spread to our neighboring allies… including Siscal.”
“That is exactly why I worry,” Kaori’s shoulders slumped forward. “He will never forgive me if he hears the news. And what is worse is that I cannot blame him.”
Chuckling to herself, Nichele rose to her feet, careful not to jostle the bed in fear of waking the baby. “There is no sense getting worked up over something you no longer have control of,” she stated calmly. “Therek will return. Until that time, there are other matters which you must focus on first where the child is concerned.”
Confused, Kaori stared up at her friend, unsure of what she referred to. The only matter involving the child which came to mind was that of Therek’s reaction to discovering he was a father. “I do not understand,” she replied quietly, leaning forward somewhat to get a better look at her friend where she stood next to the bed. “What more could possibly need to be done?”
“Have you thought of a name?” Nichele eyed Kaori curiously.
Content that she was a step ahead of her friend, Kaori gave a slight nod, pleased by the confidence with which she was able to respond. “Honora Katri Levadis.”
“And what of the birth records?”
“They have not been drawn up yet. Why do you ask?”
“There is a tiny detail on that document which you may wish to consider before it is brought before you,” Nichele shrugged. “Such a document usually contains the names of the child’s parents – both mother and father. If you intend to keep the identity of Honora’s parentage a secret, what will you put on the official record of her birth?”
Kaori’s heart fell to realize Nichele was right. Somehow the thought of paperwork failed to cross her mind through the chaos of everything else. In truth, she wasn’t sure what she was going to do. It seemed a greater slight to deny Therek the right to have his name on the birth record than it was to conceal the child from him until after it was born. No matter what they led the people of Tanispa to believe, he was the rightful father and deserved recognition for the honor. The problem lay in the danger of putting the truth on parchment. If that document fell into the wrong hands, their secret would be revealed without a chance at denying its validity.
Gazing down at her daughter, Kaori fought the emotions which plagued her. It was all too much. Public attention wasn’t something she wanted. To have her entire life constantly on the tip of everyone’s tongue. She longed for the days when no one cared what she said or did. Now every decision she made was up for scrutiny in the worst ways. Anything she did which lowered public opinion of herself would affect the happiness of her daughter. Yet, if she hid too much, Honora might one day resent her for the secrets. She didn’t want to risk Honora thinking she was trying to force Therek out of their lives. Disallowing Honora from knowing both her parents. For the sake of her daughter, she had to do it. If her heritage ever came into question, Honora would need something to prove that she deserved to rule over the Vor’shai as their Queen. “I must include the rightful father on the birth record,” she nodded decisively. It frightened her to consider the consequences such a decision might have, but deep down she knew it was the right thing to do.
A smile played at the corners of Nichele’s lips, revealing her satisfaction with Kaori’s choice. Turning sharply, she hurried toward the desk positioned at the far wall, her hands grabbing onto one of the candles to bring it closer to the objects settled atop the wooden surface. Kaori could hear the sound of parchment moving under Nichele’s fingers until she seemed to find what she was looking for, snatching up a quill and ink bottle before quickly making her way back over to the bed. “If you hope to maintain your secret, it is best you draw up the document now before your meddling advisors decide to stick their nose in your business,” she stated with surprising calm, lightly setting the candle and writing utensils onto the bedside table. “Let me put little Honora to bed and I will help you.”
She didn’t want to let her daughter go. L
ooking down upon her now, it was as if her heart had been removed from her breast and placed into the tiny body of this child sleeping so peacefully in her arms. The thought of letting anyone take her away, even for a moment, made her chest ache. But she couldn’t hold her forever. There was business which needed to be done in order to ensure Honora’s happiness and safety. To secure her future as heir to the Vor’shai throne. Nodding in agreement, Kaori hesitantly offered the sleeping child to Nichele’s outstretched arms, a pain-filled grimace crossing her pale features to see Honora in someone else’s hands. “Be careful with her,” she cautioned, knowing it was a foolish request, yet unable to keep from saying anything. Nichele was a smart woman. She knew the importance of handling the newborn with the utmost care.
The crib wasn’t far away, making it easy for Kaori to keep an eye on Nichele as she moved toward the elegant child-sized bed to place Honora safely inside. Nichele remained there a moment, gently positioning the child to make sure she was comfortable before returning to Kaori’s side. A sense of excitement filled Kaori to think of what she was about to do. In the dim light of this room, she was about to incriminate herself and Therek by placing their names together on a piece of parchment, announcing themselves as the parents of the precious child which now slept only a few feet away. Nichele was already preparing a surface for Kaori to write on, situating a wooden tray across her lap while laying out the quill and ink next to Kaori’s hand. “I will sign as witness once you finish,” she smiled. Anxious. Revealing a similar nervous excitement to that which Kaori experienced.
Inhaling a long, strained breath, Kaori lifted the quill into her hand. She paused over the ink bottle, hesitant, her mind drawing a blank as to what she should write. She’d never seen a birth record before. What sort of information was she required to include? Shaky in her movements, she dipped the tip of the quill into the black liquid, wishing her hand was steadier for the task. Her body was beyond exhaustion. It took every ounce of energy she possessed to create the uneven strokes which composed the words on the parchment in front of her:
The Myatheira Chronicles: Volume Four: In the Beginning Page 92