The Myatheira Chronicles: Volume Four: In the Beginning

by Melissa Collins

  Certificate of Royal Birth

  By my hand, I, Queen Kaori of the Vor’shai, declare the birth of Honora Katri Levadis, daughter of Kaori Levadis and Therek Losuva on this, the three hundred and ninth day in the first year of the Levadis dynasty.

  Staring down at the parchment Kaori felt an overwhelming surge of emotions come upon her. So much remained a shock to her senses since the rebellion began. It still felt strange to see the title of Queen before her name. The first in a line which would forever be known as the Levadis dynasty. And now she was a mother. Her signature would make this document official, declaring herself and Therek as the parents of a beautiful daughter who would one day step into the role of Queen to rule over their people. Queen Honora Levadis.

  Afraid that she might lose her nerve, she quickly renewed the ink on the quill, placing the tip against the parchment to complete the signature required to finalize the document. Averting her eyes, she handed the feathered quill to where Nichele awaited, listening to the sound of the hardened tip scratching along the parchment to name herself as witness to the truth of Honora’s heritage. By the time Nichele returned the feather to Kaori’s possession, she felt faint. It was done. The birth was documented. Her secret was there on parchment for everyone to see. She just had to think of a way to prevent anyone else from discovering the existence or location of the record.

  It came to her suddenly, reminded of another document which had once been so closely guarded. Kept out of sight for decades until Kaori stumbled across it. No one was allowed into the study without permission and accompaniment. She and Therek were the only ones aware of the secret room under the floor. Concealed beneath the rug and the sturdy boards, it was possible the record may never be found by anyone. And even if generations from now someone discovered its location, it would no longer be pertinent. The Levadis line would already be secure. Unthreatened by a seemingly trivial secret from so far in the past.

  They sat in silence for several moments while Kaori waited for the ink to sufficiently dry before carefully folding the parchment as if it were no more than a casual letter. There wasn’t much to be done with it for now. She couldn’t leave the baby unattended and it would require both herself and Nichele to secure the document in the darkened room under the study. If she could keep it hidden for a few days, it would be easy enough to apply the Royal Seal upon the edge to secure it closed and slip away to see it safely tucked into the tiny box where she’d discovered the Imperial Will which made this all possible. How funny; she thought to herself in amusement. I am replacing a document of death with one of birth.

  “You should try to get some rest, Your Majesty,” Nichele’s voice cut through her thoughts, reminding Kaori of her presence.

  Startled back to reality, Kaori blinked dazedly, nodding to her friend in agreement. “Yes, I think that would be best,” she exhaled, grateful to feel the wooden tray removed from her legs to grant freedom of movement once again. It felt good to relax into the soft, plush pillows, the warmth of the blankets feeling good against her tired limbs. “Before I do, I must ask one final favor,” she added, turning her head on the pillow to stare up at Nichele’s expectant gaze. “Make sure the birth record is secured in the drawer of my desk before Enslye and Pehrona return. I will see it taken to a safer location once I am able to move about more freely.”

  “Of course,” Nichele nodded obediently. Before she could turn away, Kaori reached out toward her hand, grasping it lightly in her own. She owed Nichele so much. It was strange how much better she felt after speaking with her. To admit her fears to someone without having to keep it bottled up inside. She felt as if a huge weight had been lifted off her shoulders which had been ever present since the day she first learned she was to be a mother.

  Stopped by the pressure of Kaori’s fingers around hers, Nichele glanced back toward the bed, curious. Kaori held her gaze for a moment, a soft smile forming as she felt the grogginess of sleep start to come over her. “Thank you, Countess,” she whispered, unsure if she had spoken the words loud enough for Nichele to hear. But it didn’t matter anymore. There would be plenty of time to show her gratitude. First thing when she awoke, she intended to have a carriage sent to Voiene to bring Nichele’s family to Sivaeria. Until then, all she could think about was sleep. Now that she was a mother, she couldn’t be sure when she might find another opportunity to enjoy it again for a very long time.

  A soft breeze caught the long strands of Kaori’s ebon hair where she knelt on the moist soil in the central gardens of the Losuva estate. For the first time in months she felt as if her mind was clear of the haze which had settled upon it. Free of the uncertainties and fear. A tiny shrine had been arranged within a section of dense green foliage near the back of the perfectly landscaped courtyard, designed at Kaori’s request to provide a place where she could properly bestow her thanks and praise upon the gods for everything they had done for her and her people. It had been so long since she took the time to give something back. Her offerings felt miniscule in comparison to the great gifts the gods had given her. But her parents always told her that size mattered little to the gods. What mattered was that she took the time to think of them and offer something in return.

  Pulling a small satin satchel from the silver chain at her waist, she withdrew a broken piece of tree bark from inside, the tips of her fingers handling it with great care as she laid it out on the grass below the ivy which climbed upward along the shrine. “Vojvot, God of the Wood, please accept this humble offering,” she whispered into the wind, tilting her head back briefly to inhale deeply of the fresh air. Leaning forward, she let her palms rest lightly over the rough bark, recalling the lessons she had learned from the Vor’shai shamans tasked with teaching their people of the energy possessed within their bodies. It took little effort to direct her inner spark toward the wood, heat building until it began to smoke, the surface blackened as if it had been aflame under Kaori’s touch. “I ask thee to watch over our forests and trees which sustain our power and our land. Without you, we are nothing.”

  It felt strange to give praise to the Vor’shai gods. For so long she’d been forbidden from speaking their names and worshipping their existence. She wondered if they held it against their people for abandoning them. So many had willingly given up their religion for the sake of saving their lives. But the gods were forgiving. Surely they knew the Vor’shai had been coerced into desertion of the deities they once revered above all else. The important thing was that they were remembered now. Never again would Kaori let her people forget the greater spirits. By royal decree, shrines had been erected throughout Tanispa to represent the eight deities of the ancient religion where her people could offer gifts and prayers. A celebration was held by the local citizens when Kaori announced the Lake of the Gods would again be open for use in the rites of passage. Life was beginning to settle into a familiar routine for everyone other than her.

  Protectively, she let her hand slide up to rest over the edge of a small, white-laced baby carriage positioned close to her side. Overcome with emotion she rose to her feet in a graceful motion, tears filling her eyes to look upon the child contained within the elegant design of the object. Since the birth of her daughter, everything had been different. Life took on a whole new meaning which helped Kaori understand the reasons why her parents had done the things they did to protect her. It made sense why her mother dreaded the thought of releasing her into society. Kaori couldn’t help feeling the same, content with the idea that her own daughter would not be allowed in the public eye until she was of a satisfactory age, even if that took her well beyond the typical twenty-five years. The world was a cruel and unforgiving place and she could only imagine how much worse it would be for the daughter of a queen. Men would seek her simply for the sake of title and wealth. The longer Kaori could protect her child from the circus that was life, the better.

  Voices echoed from somewhere inside the palace halls, drawing Kaori’s attention away from the carriage to glance in the
direction of the doors which led inside from the garden. Her heart nearly stopped in her chest at the realization of who it was. There was no denying Pehrona’s soft tone, raised somewhat in a frantic plea to prevent the other person from entering the courtyard. Insisting Kaori not be disturbed. But Kaori knew the man she argued with would not be deterred. He was far too stubborn to let anyone keep him from doing something once he set his mind to it.

  “Therek…” Kaori lowered her gaze back down to the child with a somber smile. She knew this moment would come. Word of the new heir spread faster across the country than Kaori expected, confirming the rumors of her suspected condition while doing nothing to quell the suspicions surrounding the identity of the father. Kaori offered nothing to the public other than assurances that the child was of pure Vor’shai heritage. That alone would have been enough for Therek to deduce its parentage. His arrival was merely sooner than Kaori planned. He must have ridden without pause to reach the city so quickly…

  Her head snapped up at the sound of the door slamming shut, Pehrona’s cries ringing through the garden in a final desperate attempt to persuade Therek to come back. Kaori wanted to laugh at the futility of her efforts. By now he would already be halfway across the courtyard. Suddenly nervous, Kaori glanced down at her dress, wishing she had known to expect visitors. She looked plain, undecorated, the simple white fabric of her gown offering no adornment which would aid in her appearance. Despite everything, she hated not looking her best for Therek. Fancy titles and newly acquired wealth wasn’t enough to make her feel worthy of his affection. He deserved a woman of far better upbringing yet he had chosen her for reasons Kaori would never understand. Her only hope was that one day she might finally think herself good enough.

  Frantic in her motions Kaori pinched at the skin of her cheeks to try and bring out some color against their paleness, her teeth biting down on her lips until she felt they were sufficiently pink to give the illusion of cosmetics upon them. Instinctively she stepped in front of the carriage to conceal it behind her slender figure, knowing it was foolish to try and hide it, but unable to bring herself to care. She wanted to be the first thing Therek saw when he came around the walk. Introduction to the child could come once she had a chance to say everything she should have said those months ago before he left for Siscal.

  Nervous, she stared at the stone walkway, chin lifted proudly in preparation for Therek’s arrival. When he came around the perfectly trimmed hedges she thought she might faint, a wave of dizziness washing over her at the sight of him. He looked exhausted, hair disheveled, dark circles visible under his eyes from lack of sleep. The clothes he wore were wrinkled and dirty, one of the golden buttons on his doublet torn and hanging by a thread. Gasping for breath, he came to an abrupt stop, gazing at Kaori in shock and confusion. “Kaori,” he exhaled. Slowly, she watched his eyes open wider in disbelief, breaking her image of calm at the realization that he’d noticed the baby carriage behind her.

  “Therek, please…”

  “Is it true? When I heard the news, I… I could not believe it. I will not believe it until you say it is so.”

  Swallowing hard, Kaori’s shoulders fell forward, dejected. There was no point in trying to hide it anymore. He deserved to hear the truth from her instead of from the whispers of so many others. Closing her eyes, she took a small step to one side to reveal the carriage, shamed to think of the misery the news must have brought Therek when he heard word of the child’s birth. “I am sorry, Therek.”

  She couldn’t bear to see his face, unwilling to open her eyes. The only indication she had to know he heard her was the sound of his boots moving across the grass toward her. Afraid of how he might react, she braced herself for the worst, tensed and ready if he chose to lash out at her in his anger. To her surprise she felt his hands gently clasp hers, feeling the trembling of his fingertips where they pressed against her skin. “Is it…” he trailed off, seeming lost as to how to word what he intended to ask. He didn’t have to complete the sentence for Kaori to know what his inquiry was.

  “Yours?” It angered her to finish the question left unspoken, offended to think Therek would consider the possibility that the child belonged to anyone other than him. Did he think her so promiscuous? So unfaithful! Opening her eyes she let them linger on Therek, aware of the hesitance in his gaze which confirmed that she was correct in her assumption of his intended query. “How dare you ask such a thing,” she grimaced, fighting tears of frustration. “Do you distrust me that much? Have I done something which makes you think I would be so easily swayed out of love when I made it so clear that my heart was yours?”

  “Forgive me, Kaori,” he shook his head miserably, staring down at the ground in humiliation. “You have given me no reason to suspect, however, I expected that if the child was mine, you would have told me before now. When I think of it, I realize you must have known when last we spoke yet you said nothing. Why would you keep such a thing from me?”

  “Because you made it clear that you were not ready for children,” Kaori stated simply. It was true. Guilt had nearly caused her to tell him everything before his departure to Siscal. “When you said a family was out of the question, I could not bring myself to reveal the truth. I was afraid of losing you.”

  Therek stared at her in disbelief. “Losing me? My dear, nothing short of death could take me from you. It pains me to think you hold such doubt in regards to my love. So much that you would leave me to hear of our child’s birth through rumors without the courtesy of telling me to my face. You wound me, Kaori” he turned his head away, inhaling deeply to try and maintain his composure. “Do you have any idea the horrible things which went through my mind upon hearing the news? I feared I had fallen for Lady Orith all over again and that I would return to discover the child was that of Liurn Torust and…”

  “And that I seduced you into my bed in Avesian because he turned me away?” The salty warmth of her tears escaped over Kaori’s lashes. “I deserve the insult. Honestly, I deserve worse. Since the day you left for Siscal, I regretted my decision to keep silent. But by then, it was too late. I could not inform you by courier in fear of our love being discovered and destroying your hope of hiding our affair. You would have chastised me the same as you do now, only for a different reason. At least the father of my child remains a mystery to our people. We should be grateful for that.”

  “Yes, I am grateful. But I cannot help feeling a fool.” With a pained grimace Therek gazed at her, a sparkle of what almost looked to be a tear glistening in the corner of his eye. It tore at Kaori’s heart to see him suffer.

  “You are not a fool. The only one to blame in this is me.”

  “I should have been here for you.”

  “And you would have been had I not left you in the dark with everyone else.”

  “That does not make me feel any less of a failure. Our… child,” he stumbled over the word, shaking his head, clearly struggling with the idea of being a father. “I was not here for the birth of our –” Trailing off, he released his hold on Kaori’s hands, suddenly drawn to the tiny carriage beside them. Carefully, he leaned over the edge, drawing in a quivering breath at the sight of the baby lying within. With a gentleness Kaori had never seen from him before, he reached down to place his hand against the top of the child’s head, lightly brushing it over the mass of black hair which stood out in stark contrast to the white fabric of the blankets. “Our daughter,” he whispered, taken in by it all. Sadly, he gazed up at Kaori where she came to stand on the other side of the carriage, his eyes filled with a mixture of emotions that broke Kaori’s heart. “What is her name?”

  “Honora.” She wanted to say more. So many things raced through her mind yet she couldn’t put any of them into words when faced with the look on Therek’s face to behold their daughter. Through the despair, she could see joy in the depths of his eyes. Pride. After all his years of disallowing himself from letting anyone close, he was now a father, and his anger at being the last to know wa
sn’t enough to tarnish the happiness he felt to see their child lying there, so peaceful in her slumber. It only added to Kaori’s guilt in not having included him in the decision of choosing a name. “I… I hope you find it suitable.”

  His smile was more genuine, anger no longer noticeable. If he harbored resentment toward her for what she had done, he gave no sign of it now, his hand lifting from the child to lightly brush against the side of Kaori’s face, melting her heart to feel the love which seemed to radiate from his touch. “It is perfect. Just like her mother.”

  The joy and pain was too much for her to take. Tears ran from her eyes like two tiny rivers, racked with an uncontrollable fit of sobs which left her unable to stand, sinking to the ground at the foot of the carriage. She didn’t deserve his kindness. The love in his eyes made her guilt unbearable. Hands covering her face, she began to weep without regard to who might see her. She didn’t care if she was Queen. Even royalty was allowed to cry once in a while.

  At the sight of her tears, Therek hurried around the carriage to kneel at Kaori’s side, the warmth of his arms gently wrapping around her waist to pull her against him. “Do not cry,” he whispered, his lips moving along the side of her face to plant tender kisses from her cheek to her forehead. “I am not angry, Kaori. I… I thought I was, but I cannot cling to those emotions when I see the beautiful child we have created. If you say you still love me, then I will ask the question I intended to present you with when I last wrote from Siscal.”

  “You are the only man I have ever loved,” Kaori sniffled from against Therek’s chest. “I cannot blame you if you never want to see me again.”

  “On the contrary, Kaori, I cannot bear the thought of not having you as my wife, even if I must keep my love for you a secret from the world.”