by Megan Green
Me, on the other hand, I’m not so sure about. People like me, but I think a lot of that has to do with Joey. I don’t think I’d have nearly the same social status I do if it wasn’t for him. And, as I stand and watch both teachers move back to the microphone to announce the prom queen, I can feel my palms start to sweat as my nerves kick back into overdrive.
What if Jessica is crowned prom queen? Then, I’ll have to watch as she and Joey share their first dance as prom royalty.
Jessica has been waiting for the day she can sink her claws into Joey, lurking in the shadows, just waiting for me to screw up.
What if tonight sparks something between them?
After the arguments Joey and I have been having lately, I honestly don’t know if he wouldn’t rather have someone like Jessica. Someone who never seems to think for herself. Just goes along with whatever everybody else wants. She surely would support Joey and his decision to join the military. He wouldn’t have to worry about whether or not his girlfriend would be there for him.
I realize I’m chewing on my manicured thumbnail as I stew on these thoughts, and I rip it from my lips before anyone else notices how nervous I am. My eyes return to Joey’s on the stage. He reassuringly nods at me, as if he knows exactly where my thoughts have taken me.
I love you, he mouths at me.
I hear a collective sigh from the girls standing next to me as they catch it.
I love you more, I mouth back, my hands steadying ever so slightly just from that brief exchange.
Mr. Hill’s voice comes back over the speakers. “Now, for your prom queen…”
As he flips open the folded piece of paper in his hand, a smile breaks out on his face. “Well, this certainly comes as no surprise. Ladies and gents, this year’s prom queen is…”
I suck in a large breath, feeling like my entire relationship is coming down to this moment.
“Nichole Hadley!”
My hands come up to cover my mouth as relief floods me. A loud whoop sounds from somewhere in the decorated gym, and before I know it, Joey is in front of me, scooping me up in his arms, before climbing back on the stage. He tips me to the side as Mrs. Chase places the little tiara on my head, but he doesn’t once put me down. We stand in front of our fellow seniors, basking in their applause and cheers, until the music fires back up, and Mr. Hill announces it’s time for our first dance.
Joey carries me down the stairs, only placing me back on my feet when we’re in the center of the circle formed by our friends. He doesn’t let me move an inch from him though. Once my feet are on the floor, he pulls me tightly against him, his forehead coming down to rest on mine.
Brian McKnight serenades us as we twirl around the room, Joey mouthing every word to the song “Back at One” to me.
The rest of the night passes in a blur of congratulations and hugs from friends. Throughout the entire night, Joey’s arm never once leaves my waist. I’ve never felt so loved and cherished before.
It’s the best night of my life.
And, as he makes love to me that night, Joey echoes my sentiment as he moves his lips against my skin, telling me over and over how much he loves me.
There’s no way he can leave me after this.
No.
Way.
Complete and utter silence.
I sit at the small table in the back of Moretti’s, a stack of crisp linen napkins to my left and a tray of freshly washed silverware to my right. I practically shoved Mario out the door about an hour ago, assuring him I had the rest of the closing duties covered and he should go home and get some much-needed sleep. I’ve been hoping for some much-needed alone time with my thoughts. And, now, sitting in the hushed silence of the usually bustling restaurant, I’ve finally found myself with a few free moments to process the past few days.
I absently grab one of the napkins and begin rolling up the silverware for tomorrow’s dinner rush, allowing my feelings to consume me. It’s been two days since my date with Joey, and to say I’m feeling slightly confused would be an understatement.
The night of our date, I drifted to sleep, full of butterflies and a sort of gleeful uneasiness. I wasn’t sure what to make of what had just happened, but I knew, deep down in my heart, that I could never regret those few moments in front of Moretti’s doors with Joey when he’d kissed me. I fell asleep with a smile on my face and a girlish excitement about what the next day might bring.
I awoke in a completely different state. The moment my eyes sprang open, worry and dread filled my body, my heart hammering a million miles an hour in my chest.
What the hell had I been thinking? What if someone had seen that and reported back to James? What if Mario and Cade had been downstairs and seen something through the windows? That was not a conversation I was prepared to have anytime soon.
Not to mention the fact that Joey and I hardly know each other anymore. He doesn’t know what he’d be getting himself into with me. He might think he knows what’s going on in my life, but he doesn’t know the half of it. I couldn’t do that to him. I couldn’t let him get mixed up in the mess that is my life. Not without telling him everything.
And I sure as hell am not ready to do that yet.
I hurt Joey once before. I’ll be damned if I let myself do it again. And I am sure, after he’s had a little while to think about it, he’d agree. We aren’t right for each other, not anymore. He deserves someone better. Someone who doesn’t come with so much emotional baggage on top of a spunky seven-year-old. Joey has had a hell of a time these last six years since his injury. The last thing he needs is someone like me coming along to screw up his life even further.
I all but convinced myself that I’d never hear from him again after he had a few hours to think about what’d happened and realized how big of a mistake starting something with me would be. If I was having these thoughts, surely, he was, too, right?
So, imagine my surprise when I went downstairs to gather some things for Cade for breakfast, only to find Joey seated at one of the outdoor tables we’d set up on the sidewalk now that the weather was nice. He smiled at me through the window and sheepishly held up a white bag.
Doughnuts.
Cade was thrilled when I went upstairs to get him. He raced down the stairs, still in his pajamas, bursting through the door, before flinging himself at Joey. Joey didn’t miss a beat, gathering Cade in for a hug, even as he remained seated at the table.
It boggled my mind, seeing how boisterous my son was around Joey. He’d always been a shy kid. Zach was really his only friend. Cade was quiet around adults, never speaking unless spoken to. Whenever James took the two of us out with him, I always received compliments on what a well-mannered little boy I’d raised.
If they only knew…
Seeing Cade with Joey warmed my heart. It gave me hope that maybe James hadn’t completely destroyed him. I’d worried that he might have trouble with trusting men. He hadn’t exactly grown up with the best role model. But my boy was a smart little guy. Intuitive.
I should’ve known he’d be able to tell the difference between good and evil. He’d grown up with the devil himself.
But Joey…Joey was good.
Even when we were kids, I’d known he was different. He’d do whatever it took to keep his friends and family safe. It should’ve come as no surprise to me that he’d chosen to make that his career. But I hadn’t been able to see the bigger picture back then. I’d been a stupid teenage girl whose world began and ended with the boy by her side.
If you hadn’t been so damn selfish, things could’ve been so different.
I quickly cut off that line of thinking as I watched Joey and Cade wolf down the entire bag of doughnuts. They’d tried to share with me, but I’d declined, enjoying the sight of Cade with powdered sugar all over his face. I wouldn’t let him eat junk food very often. In about twenty minutes, he was sure to be bouncing off the walls, and I’d be kicking myself for allowing it now, but his smile was so big and so bright that I hadn’
t been able to say no.
Shortly after they polished off the doughnuts, Joey left with a promise. Cade had asked when Joey would be able to teach him some more soccer tricks, and Joey had ruffled his hair before assuring him he’d make time this week. He’d shot me a quick look, as if judging my reaction to that promise, before he said a quick good-bye to us both and left for work.
Cade and I didn’t see Joey during the day, but that didn’t stop Cade from asking a million and half times whether or not Joey had called. It didn’t matter how many times I’d told him I didn’t have a phone for Joey to call; his excitement was so great that he couldn’t go more than ten minutes before asking again.
I never had any doubt that Joey would follow through on his promise, and when he showed up earlier this evening for his regular plate of spaghetti and meatballs, he asked if Cade and I would like to come for dinner again tomorrow night.
I hesitated briefly before answering. Despite how easy it was to be around Joey, I knew I wasn’t being completely fair to him. I needed to make sure he knew exactly what he was getting himself into before allowing this to go further. But Cade’s elation all day prevented me from saying no. Joey and I would talk later. I’d make sure of it. But I couldn’t deny my son a few hours of happiness because I was too much of a wimp to talk to Joey.
The clatter of metal against cement breaks me out of the trance I fell into. I look down at the pile of rolled silverware in front of me, almost laughing to myself at how much I was able to get done while zoned out in my own head. We won’t need to do it again for another week at least. Remembering the noise, I turn in my chair, my eyes immediately falling on the silver pot that must’ve fallen from the counter where it was drying.
My brows draw together in confusion. I’d washed that pot for Mario myself, and I distinctly remember placing it on the drying rack. It hadn’t been going anywhere. So, how in the hell did it end up on the floor?
I push back from the table, the legs of the chair scraping against the industrial kitchen floor. Tucking my hair behind both ears, I slowly peer around the corner to the hidden nook where Mario likes to prep his meatballs.
My heart hammers in my chest as I move, the fear that someone might have broken in rushing through my veins. When my gaze lands on the empty space, I lean against the wall in relief, all the breath in my lungs exiting in a rush. I laugh at my overreaction, turning around to pick up the pot from where it’s lying on the floor.
A hand closes around my mouth as soon as my hands touch the metal. A scream builds in my throat, but it’s muffled against the force of the person’s hold on me.
My fingers clutch at the arm that crosses my neck as I’m dragged back into Mario’s nook. Once there, I’m whirled around and slammed up against the wall.
Vicious eyes burn into me, their intensity leaving me feeling weak and defeated. Such hatred and malice is there as the eyes rove over me, my skin going cold even though his gaze holds nothing but fire. I whimper against his palm, swallowing back the bile rising in my throat.
He’s found me.
James is here.
“Hi, sweetheart,” he says, his grip tightening on my throat as he harshly presses his lips against my cheek. “Did you miss me?”
His breath is hot on my skin, and I can smell the alcohol on him. James is an asshole all the time, but when he’s been drinking…
My knees threaten to give way as my body starts to shake when I realize Cade is sleeping upstairs. Alone. I thought I’d been so careful. I thought I’d covered my tracks well enough…
God, let this be quick. And let Cade get out okay.
James’s lips move to my ear, biting hard on my lobe, and I cry out in pain.
“From what I hear, you haven’t had much time to miss me. Not when you’ve already got some other asshole warming your bed.”
My head cracks against the wall, pain exploding in the back of my skull.
Fuck, he knows.
“How do you think it feels to hear that my wife has been out on the town with some other guy? I had to hear that from Councilman Adams, you fucking whore. Imagine his surprise when he saw you cozied up to another man. I ran into him this morning while I was out on my jog. He was so fucking embarrassed for me.”
I squeeze my eyes tight, wishing for the darkness that always comes. I don’t want to feel this pain. I don’t want to go through this again.
“Look at me,” James seethes through gritted teeth.
His fingers tighten further, causing my eyes to bulge behind my lids. I’m forced to open my eyes through sheer need.
“Did you think I wouldn’t find you? Did you think, in a town this small, that I wouldn’t eventually hear that my wife was working as a fucking waitress in this hell hole? Did you honestly think word wouldn’t eventually get back to me? You should know better by now. I fucking own this town.”
James smiles at me, and it’s the most terrifying thing I’ve ever seen. His eyes are bloodshot, the skin around them shrouded in darkness, as if he hasn’t slept in weeks. His pupils are dilated to more than twice their normal size, and he’s unable to keep his focus on one place for more than a moment. His gaze darts wildly around the room as his nostrils expand and contract over and over again.
I’ve seen James blind drunk. I’ve seen James crazy with rage. But I’ve never seen James like this. This is new. This is…terrifying.
I briefly wonder if he might be on something else, but his eyes flick back to mine and take in my scrutinizing gaze. He smacks my head against the wall once more, harder this time, and my eyes roll back in my head for a moment.
I slump against him, but I’m not unconscious. I’m not that lucky. I’m unable to move, the pain in my head too great, my eyes unable to focus.
James lets my body fall to the floor now that he knows I won’t resist him. I curl into myself, hoping to protect my vital organs from the kicks I know will be coming.
“You’ve completely destroyed me, Nichole. People are talking. I don’t care that they all think you’re a fucking crazy bitch. You’ve brought a scandal down on our family. And you know what that means…” His voice trails off, an eerie silence left in its wake.
I try to open my eyes, needing to know where he is. But, as soon as my lids crack open, my head explodes in pain. I cringe into myself, tears leaking from the corners of my eyes.
I hear the first kick before I actually feel it. With my eyes shut tight, it’s as if my hearing has amplified, and I can hear his foot rushing through the air before it connects. Because of this, I’m able to move my arms in front of my stomach, protecting it from the brunt of the blow. My forearm screams in pain, but I know it’s nothing compared to what I’d have been feeling if his kick had hit home.
“Stupid. Fucking. Bitch.” James punctuates each word with a kick.
Even though I was successful in blocking the first, the next three find their mark. I turn my face into my arm, biting down on the flesh there in order to muffle my screams. The last thing I need is for Cade to come downstairs. James hasn’t mentioned him yet, so I hold on to a shred of hope that he doesn’t know Cade is here.
And, as if reading my thoughts, the next words out of James’s mouth are, “Is he with my son right now? While you embarrass me by working at this dump, did you leave my son with that fucking asshole?”
Even though he lands another kick to my ribs, relief floods through me. He doesn’t know where Cade and I have been staying. He just found out where I work. Thankfully, he doesn’t realize they’re one and the same place.
I bite down harder on my arm, now more intent than ever for Cade to remain upstairs. Even in his rage, James doesn’t make much noise. His words are harsh and clipped, but his tone remains even and steady. If I’m lucky, this will all be over soon, and Cade will be okay. James will leave, no doubt taking me with him. Mario will come in tomorrow and find my boy. He’ll make sure Cade is taken care of. Because, if James leaves here with me, I doubt I’ll live to see another sunrise.
Even though my story is going to end here, I’ve at least made sure that Cade has people he can turn to. People who love him and will make sure he’s okay after this. They won’t let anything bad happen to him.
Numbness spreads through my limbs as my thoughts drift to Cade and his future. A sort of calmness fills me, knowing my son will be okay. James’s kicks become distant, as if they aren’t happening to me. I feel as if I’m hovering over my own body—conscious of what’s happening, but unable to feel anything at all.
I watch as James pulls back once more, this kick aimed straight for my face. I grimace as I wait for the impact, knowing his heavy boot will completely obliterate my bones with only a few more swift kicks.
A bell jingles somewhere in the background, and James freezes instantly.
“Topolino?” a familiar voice softly calls out. “Are you still down here?”
James gives my battered body one final look, and then he bends down until his face is in mine. “This isn’t over,” he hisses quickly before turning and running from the room.
A light floods the nook as Mario steps into view.
“Dio mio.” He rushes to my side, wrapping his arms around me, and he crushes me to his chest.
And I’m no longer hovering. No longer an observer to what’s happening to me.
I feel every damn inch of pain.
And I scream.
Leaning forward, I gently blow out the citronella candle in the center of the table. I lit it earlier this evening in hopes of staving off some of the mosquitoes on this warm summer night. I remember being a kid, scratching those bites until they bled but being unable to sleep from the itch. I didn’t want Cade to have to go through that tonight after he returned home.
My effort was for naught, however, seeing as how neither Cade nor Nichole showed.