We were getting into our third hour when I thought I saw something. Just ahead and off to the right was a little bit of green that seemed a slightly different shade from the other plants in the area. I signaled for the squad to halt and continued to stare at the slightly different shade of green. The longer I stared, the more sense that it made. The green slowly began taking a human shape. After about thirty seconds, I was able to make out the shape of an American airman. He hadn’t seen us yet. I guess I was a little quieter than I thought I was. That was when I made a mistake. Instead of trying to raise the airman on the radio, I stepped toward him. My foot rested upon one of those heart-attack causing twigs, and it snapped.
It is amazing how loud a small sound can be in the silence. I remember trying to sneak downstairs to get a snack one time when I was a kid. Things were going well until I decided that I wanted a soda to drink along with whatever I’d decided I wanted for a snack. Bad choice. When I opened the two liter bottle of soda, the sound of the CO2 escaping was like fireworks going off in the house. It echoed off of the walls. Everything short of flashing lights and sirens seemed to occur in my house as my mother and father came running downstairs to see what the “ruckus” was. I wasn’t allowed to have sodas after sundown ever again.
The snapping of the twig alerted the airman to our presence, but it didn’t tell him who we were. After hours of being wound tight with fear and adrenaline, he wasn’t in the mood to take risks. With the reflexes of an Old West gunfighter, the airman snapped up his pistol and fired toward the sound of the snapped twig. Luckily for me, Jethro thought that Old West gunfighters were a bunch of slow-moving grandfathers ready to be put out to pasture. He flew through the air and tackled me to the ground, out of the way of the incoming bullet. The bullet impacted with a tree near Shaggy, who froze in fear and wet himself. “Americans!” Jethro called out to the airman.
Lowering his pistol, the airman stood and walked toward us. “Damn! I didn’t know you guys were here yet.”
Hannibal had run up to the front as soon as the shot was fired. He went straight to the airman and asked, “What are you doing here? You should be a klick or so east of here.”
“Couldn’t stay,” the airman replied as he holstered his weapon. “We heard some Koreans moving in on our location, so we bugged out. The others are about fifty yards north of here. Where’s your bird?”
“We aren’t the rescue team. We were sent to keep the Korean forces just west of here away from you and the rescue team.”
“Oh . . .” the airman replied. I struggled to figure out why his response had an air of fatality in its tone. That’s when I realized that if we were supposed to keep the North Koreans off of the bomber crew, we had just failed miserably. That pistol shot made my snapping twig sound like . . . well, a snapping twig. If the enemy hadn’t known where we were before, they certainly did now.
Speaking of the devil, he arrived with a vengeance. Before Hannibal could order us to pull back, an enemy rifle opened up on our position. We all took cover, including the airman, who must have trained as an acrobat with the distance he achieved in his leap to safety. Two other rifles began firing on us as well, and we returned fire with practiced teamwork that we had honed in the months of patrols we had done together. Everyone except for the bomber crew and Shaggy. The bomber crew, not exactly accustomed to warfare on the ground, all drew their pistols and emptied them without bothering to realize that their targets weren’t within range. Shaggy had hit the ground where he was, but he was not doing anything except holding his hands on top of his helmet.
Every soldier wonders what they will do the first time that they are in combat. Some wonder if they will freeze. Some wonder if they will run. Some wonder if they will remember their training. All wonder if they will be brave. I still wonder what I did when I first saw combat. Honestly, I know that I followed my training, but in what way and if I looked like I had a clue, I still don’t remember. What I did know was that I at least contributed to what the squad had been doing. Shaggy wasn’t. I didn’t think less of him for it. There is absolutely no way to know what you will do when things get real, and in a draft army the chance of negative reaction goes up. Even so, we needed him, and we needed him now.
When I am freaked out about something, I don’t need a lot of instructions or explanations or details thrown at me. My mind is just concerned with living. I’d always operated under the assumption that everyone else was the same. That probably wasn’t the smartest assumption to make since I tended to not be the same as anyone else, but what else could I do. I decided to keep it as simple as I could. “Shaggy!” I called out over the sound of the rifles and carbines. I called out twice more before he looked over at me. I pointed in the direction that the enemy fire was coming from. “Weapon! Point! Shoot!” With a frightened nod, he began to position his weapon. He made several mistakes at first, but finally he had his weapon set up and pointed toward the enemy. Once he pulled the trigger and started sending rounds downrange, his entire demeanor changed. Not only did he get himself into the fight, I actually heard him begin shouting and growling at the enemy. No longer feeling helpless, Shaggy became a soldier.
The North Koreans that had fired on us were only a half squad of light infantry, and when Shaggy put the squad automatic into play, they realized that they were outgunned. They pulled back and we hightailed it out of there before the enemy could bring reinforcements. During the much faster return trip to our LZ, Hannibal radioed ahead that we had rescued the aircrew and needed gunship support. In a very short time we heard helicopter gunships fly overhead and begin strafing the trees to our right with gunfire and launching rockets farther away. It gave us good reason to keep up a fast pace.
We all boarded the waiting helicopters and took off with no further incident. Once we were high enough and speeding back toward our base, we all let out a celebratory whoop, even Shaggy. I got Jethro’s attention. “Thanks for saving my sorry booty!”
Jethro smiled at the mention. “Couldn’t let anything happen to ya, Pup. It would get too boring around here.”
As we all exchanged fist bumps and high fives (some of us hadn’t figured out how to fist-bump without injury yet) Shaggy got my attention. “Thanks, Pup! Thanks for straightening me out!”
I felt like it was my responsibility now to pass on some of the knowledge that I had learned from the Hiss to the FNG, but I could only think of one thing to say. “When you get your Combat Infantry Badge, if a girl from home sends you a picture, don’t try to burn it!” Shaggy looked at me strangely for the rest of the flight home.
Those are some serious raindrops . . .
җ
The next couple of months passed without major incident. We went on a few more patrols and provided security for some other shot-down pilots and aircrews, but none of them resulted in enemy contact. Shaggy continued to learn his way around the camp and settled in a lot more quickly than I had. I even helped pull the shower trick on him, stealing his towel and watching him streak across the camp to the tent. Yes, it was fun. I get it now. We thought for a while that we were going to lose Boom and Jethro, but they both volunteered for another tour rather than be stationed stateside. I couldn’t imagine anyone doing that on purpose. When I asked them about it, they both laughed. “Look at yourself, Pup,” Boom told me.
I looked down at myself and checked my reflection in a shaving mirror hanging in our tent. I still looked like a cartoon character. “I’ve always needed a fashion consultant. What’s your point?”
“You look like ten pounds of crap in a five pound sack,” Jethro clarified. “When was the last time your uniform and appearance were good enough to pass inspection?”
I had to think back on that. I’d never really been good at passing inspection to begin with, but I did what I could to scrape by during all of my training because I was really bad at push-ups and got sick of peeling potatoes. What did they do with all of those potatoes, a
nyway? I know we didn’t eat that many in the mess hall. “I think the last time I could’ve passed inspection was the day I showed up here.”
“Exactly,” responded Boom. “I mean, I know that I look good every day,” she didn’t receive any argument from me or Jethro, “but making my uniform look good every day isn’t something that I’m worried about anymore. Me and some fresh lieutenant would probably wind up in a fight, and I’d be in the stockade after kicking his ass.” I understood what they were saying. It was certainly a lot safer to be stationed stateside, but it was also a very different mindset. We kept everything in proper working order at Camp Wildcat because our lives depended on it. Keeping our uniforms straight and proper didn’t do anything to keep us alive in the field, so we didn’t expend too much energy worrying about that. The Professor kept us functioning like a well-oiled machine, even if it wasn’t a shiny one.
There was something else that I suspected the two of them left unsaid. I thought that they were both worried about whether they would be able to settle in back home. I understood their concern. I’d never fit in anywhere, so I figured that I would have trouble whether I was stateside or in the Hiss. I didn’t let it bother me but just accepted it as another chapter in my infamous existence. However, I understood how hard it would be for them to wind up back somewhere that was full of people who hadn’t seen what they’d seen, experienced what they’d experienced, or felt what they’d felt. Playing video games or watching movies and the news simply wasn’t the same. I knew that neither of them would ever admit to being afraid of anything, but I thought that going home scared them as much as anything in the Hiss, and at least they had some means of defense here.
I have so many fears that I don’t think I can list them all. I have an unnatural fear of the game Jenga. There is something about all of those blocks missing out of a structure and it still not falling that seems so unnatural. I immediately knock the tower over before any blocks have been removed. Many family game nights have been ruined by that fear. However, one fear that I didn’t even know existed came to life as the rainy season began in Korea. The Professor walked up to me as I was going to lunch in the mess hall with a smile on his face. “Hey, Pup! I thought you would want to know that Mayumi Ogawa is going to be coming on some patrols with us!”
A flash of lightning and clap of thunder followed his announcement. No Hollywood director could have timed it more perfectly. “Mayumi . . . she . . . uh . . . patrol . . . why?” I can be so eloquent when I’m frightened.
Leading toward the mess tent so that we wouldn’t be caught in the storm, the Professor explained. “I have informed her company about some concerns I’ve noted about their equipment. They want her to help field-test it, especially during the rainy season, which is where some of my concerns are.”
I was mindlessly walking through the line at this point. I grabbed myself a heaping spoonful of . . . something. Honestly, I don’t think that I could have identified it even if I had been paying attention. “Well, OK, but she’s a civilian. She can’t go on a patrol with us.”
“The Japanese Self-Defense Force has granted her a temporary commission. They are very interested to see how well this equipment works and are pulling out all the stops to get it fielded.”
I was running out of options. “But . . . you’re too happy about it!” Now how could he possibly argue against such flawless logic?
We sat down at a table with my squad. There must have been something about my expression because they all decided that they were going to listen in, not even worrying about an officer sitting at the table with them. “Of course I’m happy about it. I had a great time with her and her friends in Japan. I would’ve thought you’d be thrilled to see her after your time in Sydney.”
Everyone leaned in to hear my response. I swear, it was like some bad television show following high schoolers. “Well . . . I . . . she hasn’t spoken to me since then.” Everyone leaned back into their seats again with their eyes wide in disbelief. What was this? Some weirdly scripted play? “I don’t think things ended the way that she expected, so I never heard from her.” I guess I should mention that I’d never told anyone at Camp Wildcat exactly how my R&R had ended. After all, how do you keep any of your dignity after telling people that you broke your date’s nose? Sure, that might be the talk of cocktail parties for years on end, but only cocktail parties that I don’t get invited to . . . which is all of them.
I spent the rest of the week dreading Mayumi’s arrival. I really wanted to see her. I missed her. I’d had such a fun time with her in Sydney before I put her in a situation in which she required medical attention. Still, without having spoken to her, I could only imagine how much anger and frustration she might have built up and wanted to unload on me as soon as she could. You know what they say about hell’s fury and all. That’s for a woman scorned. I wonder what it is like for a woman injured. Plus, she was going to outrank me. She would also be armed! There was no way that this could end well!
After all of my fear and concern, I wasn’t even aware of when Mayumi made it into camp. I was just outside of my tent and heard a familiar laugh. I looked up and saw the Professor and Mayumi walking toward officer’s country. She looked amazing. Her nose had healed, and I think I’ve already mentioned my appreciation for women in uniform. Her smile was as bright as ever, and it was all that I could do to not run up and hug her. Of course, with my luck I might have broken her arm in the process and made things that much worse instead of better. She never noticed me, but I watched her all the way to the tent she was being assigned.
It was another hour or so when the situation changed in a way that I had not foreseen. The Professor called my squad to his tent, where Mayumi was waiting. It was crowded, but we all fit in and awaited an explanation. I avoided looking directly at Mayumi. I was scared I might shout something out without thinking about it, like some sort of emotional Tourette’s syndrome. The Professor began the introductions. “This is Lieutenant Mayumi Ogawa of the Japanese Self-Defense Force. She will be with us for the next couple of weeks to help us work out some issues with the new night vision gear. She will be accompanying your squad.”
From out of nowhere, Boom raised her hand. “Permission to be excused, sir.” Without waiting for permission, Boom left the tent. Rabbit followed right behind her. Even the Professor seemed surprised by their sudden departure.
“I . . . uh . . . just wanted to introduce you all. I guess you’re dismissed.” Everyone filed out except for me, the Professor, and Mayumi. I don’t know why I didn’t leave. I think that part of me wanted to go ahead and get it over with. If I was going to die at the hands of a beautiful woman, better sooner than later. When Mayumi looked up at me, she didn’t have fire in her eyes. She was actually trying to keep her expression neutral and professional. She failed. Her eyes took on a look of sorrow, then she averted her gaze and ran out of the tent. The Professor sat there looking at the empty tent for a moment. “Pup, I don’t know what you did, but I don’t think you ever want to do it again.”
The next two days found me in a daze. I was trying to figure out what was going on, but I had no clue. Mayumi didn’t try to exact some kind of revenge on me. In fact, she wouldn’t speak to me. She purposely avoided me. While that was going on, Boom and Rabbit seemed to go out of their way to make her life miserable. They kept bumping into her in the chow line. They got up and walked away whenever she would come near. They would begin whispering in a menacing tone whenever she walked past. It was starting to scare me.
Finally, after two days I decided to ask Boom and Rabbit what was going on. After the joke they had pulled after I first arrived, we had begun a very unusual habit of discussing anything we were concerned about in the showers. I still turned away whenever they entered, and I still wore boxer shorts, and they still thought that all of that was funny. Despite this, I had become a bit of a confidant for the two because they knew that I would approach all of their problem
s from a neutral point of view and not try to get something out of it for myself. I did that because it was right, it was appropriate, and I knew that I would never get anything out of it anyway! Setting low expectations for yourself sometimes prevents you from being let down.
I had only been in the shower for a few seconds when Boom and Rabbit entered. They greeted the back of my head (I told you I still turned around) and stepped into their own showers. Once I was certain they were behind their dividers, I turned around and questioned their behavior from the past few days. “Why is it that you’ve been giving Lieutenant Ogawa such a hard time? Did she do something to either of you that I don’t know about?”
They looked at each other in confusion over their shower dividers. “No,” answered Rabbit. “We never met her before she got here.”
“So why are you giving her the cold shoulder?” I pressed.
Boom responded, “You.” I appreciate the fact that she left the word “duh” off of the end of that sentence. “She hurt you, Pup. That’s reason enough.”
I was so surprised that I stood there in shock until the cold water hit me. Even after that, I stood there silent for a minute. “I didn’t know you guys would do something like that for me.”
Rabbit sounded about as close to caring as she ever did. “Pup, you may be a dumb shit, but you’re our dumb shit.” That was one of the nicest things anyone had ever said to me.
“Thanks to both of you, but I guess you can lay off. There’s no reason to make her life more miserable than I already have.” Then I described to them what had happened just before I left Sydney.
When I was done, both of them had already turned off their water and were standing there in silence. You could have heard a pin drop (which is actually kind of loud if you’ve ever tried that). Then they broke out into simultaneous laughter. I mean uncontrollable, side-splitting, outlook-on-life-changing laughter. I couldn’t help it. After the first few seconds, I started laughing, too. I had never really looked back on what I had been through without seeing it through a prism of regret. Now that I saw it from someone else’s point of view, I could see the comedy in it.
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