by Lynn, Stacey
“Yeah.” I laugh. It’s stupid. Not the time. “Apparently, my womb is ultra-fertile or something and it did something to those slow movers the doctors say you have.”
He takes the photo from me and holds it like he already cherishes it.
“It’s just a blob. That tiny gray thing.” I point to it in case he doesn’t know what he’s looking at it and then the corner. “But my doctor said the heartbeat was strong.”
The paper in his hand now trembles and I swear I hear him sniff but I’m too scared to look at him.
“How far along?”
“Six weeks. It’s early. Super early. But since I didn’t get that shot and then well… that day in the shower, I think…” I trail off. I’ve done the math and added the days and that first time without a condom had to be it. Or the next day. Regardless, it was one of those first times after I didn’t get my shot. Which shouldn’t even happen. At least not that soon.
He continues staring at the paper. Holding it like his dreams are pinched between his fingertips and any movement will shatter them forever.
Then, he lifts his head, and wet, blurry green eyes blink. Tears fall and then he smiles.
And it’s so blindingly beautiful, so much better than what I expected him to do, I smile back at him.
“You’re pregnant,” he repeats. I don’t blame him for not believing me. I still don’t fully believe it and I’ve recently had something that resembles a vibrator shoved up my hoo-ha in order to double-check the pregnancy test.
“Yeah.”
Before I can blink, I’m swooped up into a bone-crushing hug and he’s moving, straight into his living room. He moves so fast he’s sitting before I can wrap my legs around him to hold on and then I’m on his lap, crushed to him, my head to his shoulder and I hear him let loose a cry that’s so filled with pain, so filled with hope and happiness, my own tears soak his dress shirt and I hang on tight.
I hug him back and hold him until his shoulders stop shaking and his tears stop soaking my temple.
“Sebastian—”
“What…” He swallows, eyes red, looking uncertain and scared for the first time I’ve met him. “I know it’s your body. I know that well, I know we’re not…we haven’t talked about what we are… to each other or anything. But what… what do you think you’ll do?”
“I wouldn’t end something we created, Sebastian.” My fingers run through his hair and his forehead drops to my shoulder. “I never even considered it. I’m terrified. My dad is probably going to kill me… or wait, he might kill you first.” His shoulders shake and his lips press to my shoulder. “I want this, though. With you being as much of a part of this as you want.”
“All of it,” he whispers and lifts his head. His green eyes swim with a heavy emotion that I feel deep in my heart. “I want all of it.”
I imagine him finishing it with you and kick that thought to the curb. He’s talking about the baby. Not me. Not us. After all, like he said, there really isn’t an us.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Sebastian
Gigi is pregnant.
I’m going to be a dad.
The natural, normal, boy meets girl and has a baby kind of way.
I can’t express all the emotions tumbling inside of me, making my brain hurt and making my heart burst with gladness. This is… it’s too much. Guilt, for getting her pregnant. For not being able to do that for Madison. Guilt, for thinking of Madison while Gigi is on my lap in the first place. I’ve held little back from her, and she’s giving me everything.
Easy and uncomplicated has most definitely flown out the window now. There is absolutely no way Gigi will have my child and I won’t work my ass off as much as possible to continue seeing if we can have the kind of relationship I wanted us to before finding this out.
God. This explains so much. Her exhaustion. Her distance. This was not how I thought the words ‘We need to talk’ was going to go by any means.
“I think I might have a heart attack, I’m so shocked.” It’s still hard to speak and my heart is racing so fast I press my hand there.
Gigi covers hers with mine. Those hot pink fingernails cover my hand and then slide into the gaps between my fingers.
“I thought I was going to pass out when I took a test.”
“I wish you would have told me.”
“You were leaving town. And I didn’t know for sure until you were gone. I didn’t think it right to share it over the phone.”
“It wasn’t. I still wish I could have been there. For you and for me.”
“I’m sorry. About all of it. I mean, we barely know each other, and now… well, this is happening.”
His green eyes darken and his hand at my cheek tenses. “Don’t be sorry. You don’t have anything to apologize for. Maybe give me a minute to process it.”
“Good luck. I’ve been trying to do that all week and am still baffled.”
“Your week. You mentioned you’re getting a job? Why? You love the bar.”
“Because I’m having a baby. Working there doesn’t exactly give me stable hours, and I live above the bar. It’s not the place to raise a baby. I need a job and better income.”
“You’ll have me.”
“Sure, I mean. I know you’ll help and I know you’ll be involved, but—”
“You’ll have me.” I repeat the statement succinctly, letting her see how serious I am. What does she think is happening here?
“I know, but—”
“No. Listen to me. You’ll have me. If you want to take over the bar, do it. We’ll figure out the rest. If you want to get a job, wait and find one you’ll love. The one thing I know we’re going to teach this child is to chase their dreams and to go for what they want, and that won’t happen if their mom is working a job she hates because she felt like she had to give up those dreams to have a baby. Whatever you need, whenever, I will give that to you.”
“Sebastian—” Tears swarm in her eyes and before she reaches them, I brush them away with my thumbs. “We hardly know each other. And we’re barely together.”
I have nothing else to offer except for all of me, all my thought. Please, let be enough.
“I want that. Us together, I mean. I thought that while I was gone. I don’t want easy and uncomplicated with you anymore, Gigi and I already knew that. Is this forever? I think that’s way too early for us to know. But you are going to have my child which means we’re forever united in this way and that means, I will always be there to help you, in any way you need, so you can be the best mommy to this baby.”
She snaps her mouth closed.
It takes entirely too long for her to answer that my palms start to sweat.
“This is more than I thought you were going to say.”
“I mean every word of it. And I’d help you and give you what you want because we’re going to have a baby together, but I also mean it because I like you, and I want to see where this can go with us.”
“I want that, too.”
“Good. Now kiss me, help me out of my suit, and then show me how much you missed me.”
She laughs, doing her head shake she does when she thinks I’m being cute. I lean in to hiss her but stop halfway.
“Unless you’re not feeling well? I haven’t asked. And you said you’ve been tired—”
She shuts me up with a kiss, upturned lips pressing to mine. “I’m not that sick yet.”
“Thank God.” I seal her mouth to mine and slide my tongue into her parting mouth.
* * *
Hot damn, she feels good. It’s been a week, feels like forever since I’ve been inside her and I don’t know if it’s the time apart, admitting we want to be together, or the fact she’s pregnant with my baby… maybe a combination of all three that makes this so intense.
Gigi straddles me, teal hair draped over her shoulders as her hands press to my chest.
From beneath, I’m the one in control though, arching my hips and thrusting into her. I have one hand o
n her hip, the other on her flat belly.
Pregnant. I’ve knocked her up and I want to pound my fists in the air in some caveman type victory shout. But God… to think it’d never happen and then have it be so unexpected… I’m not sure what I feel except the beauty of her tight sex taking me deep inside her.
“Sebastian,” she cries and throws her head back.
I slide my hand from her belly down, finding her clit. “Come on, Gigi. Come for me.”
She’s close, pulsing around my dick, but I’ve already learned what it takes to throw her over the edge. As I play with her, I slam her down against me, force her to grind herself against my body. It’s hard enough to hold back waiting for her even though I already gave her an orgasm with my mouth first.
“Get there,” I grit out. And screw this. I want to be pressed against her, as close as we can get to one another. I sit up and wrap her legs around my back. Sliding my hand to her back, I cup the back of her head with my other and slam her mouth to mine.
Yes. Her tits. Her body. Her hips. Her colorful inked skin, but most of all her heart.
Shit. I am falling way too fast for this woman.
“Yes,” she cries out against my mouth. “I’m going to… come.”
She says it on a pant and I swallow her cries as her climax hits.
She’s so freaking gorgeous, rocking against me, body trembling. I kiss her, bite her neck while she yells out my name and let my own orgasm hit, hard and fast.
It speeds down my spine, up through my balls and soon I have her body clamped to mine, my mouth and teeth at her shoulder.
I dig in, biting her while I squeeze her tight, giving her everything.
All of me. However much she wants, I’ll give more.
“Shit,” I pant and kiss where I’ve bitten her. It’s enough to leave a mark and I like that. She’ll have to hide it.
Or show it off.
Let everyone know she’s mine now.
Possessiveness is not my natural inclination, but it’s there. With the mother of my child.
My girlfriend.
My head swims from the events of the day, the early morning wakeup call and plane ride and all that’s transpired since.
Shit. I’m pretty sure I say it again out loud, more of a breath against her heated flesh and let her comb her hands through my hair.
When I can think straight, I take us to my back and then roll us to our sides. I pull out only long enough to kiss Gigi’s belly which earns me a smile.
“Stay here. Let me get you cleaned up.”
“Thank God,” she says playfully. She throws her arms to the bed and sighs. “Because I don’t think I can move.”
“Thanks. Make me feel good. Maybe next time tell me I’m the biggest and best you’ve been with.”
She winks as I start to turn toward the bathroom. “You are. Definitely.”
I laugh and head to the bathroom where I wet a washcloth. After I’ve cleaned us up, I climb back into bed and throw the comforter over us.
She’s at my side, mermaid and butterfly tattoo at her shoulder I can’t help but kiss it.
“When do you have to get to work?”
“As soon as my legs remember how to work.” I laugh against her shoulder. “I didn’t think today would go like this.”
“Me neither. But I’m glad.”
She turns to me and kisses my temple. “Me too. I was so worried. And scared.”
“Hey. Stop. We’ll figure this out together, okay? All that’s important is that we’re together while we do it. At least to me.”
“You’re an even better man than I imagined you to be.”
I’ve already told her I like her and want to be with her so I don’t repeat myself. Actions speak louder than words anyway. I suspect we’ll both have our demons from failed relationships we’ll need to navigate soon enough.
“What are these tattoos for? I’ve always wanted to know.”
She chuckles, this melodic low sound and slides her fingers through my hair. Pretty sure she likes my long hair more than I do, she plays with it so much.
“Is that why you always kiss them?”
“I’ve always wanted to ask,” I admit. “And know you better. Know your secrets. What’s so important to you you’ll have it etched into your skin forever.”
“Why didn’t you ask?”
I pull back enough so I can meet her eyes directly. “I think I was afraid knowing would make me like you more than I thought I should.”
She swallows thickly and I pull her to me. She has a small flower inside her other hip I can find in the dark at this point and script on her ribs that looks like a poem or a song. I run my hand there, across the ink I can’t see.
“The butterflies and mermaid,” I prod when she stares at me like she either wants to kiss me again or more. Not that I’m complaining.
“My dad calls me butterfly. My mom started it when I learned how to ride a bike. She kept telling me to spread my wings and fly and let it take me to wherever I was called. My dad says it all the time now. When I went to him about taking off to Europe he said, ‘spread your wings and fly butterfly’ and I knew I had his acceptance what I needed to do.”
“I like that for you. That you had that and parents who gave that to you.”
“I miss my mom. All the time. But I look in the mirror every day and know without a doubt what she’d want for me and it helps.”
“I’m sorry you lost her.”
Her breath shakes and trembles as she inhales deeply. “The mermaid I got in Germany. They have a lot of different symbolizations, but mostly it was for femininity, independence, transformation. I was just divorced, figuring out who I wanted to become.”
I kiss her mermaid tail while she laughs and glances up. “I was also maybe a little lonely so I figured, what the hell.”
“What the hell.”
“I think I’ve always been someone willing to leap without looking.”
“I like that about you, too. You’ll keep life interesting.”
“I hope so.”
She shakes in her confidence so I do what I do best to remind her, how much I like her and want her, how much I believe we can do this. I roll her to her back and follow, and I don’t stop showing her until she’s clenching around me again, crying out my name, and digging her nails into my back.
Yeah.
Life with Gigi will be fun. Definitely.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Gigi
“You sure about this?”
“I’ve had a lot of time to think about it, Dad.”
I place my hand on top of his and the paperwork sitting on his desk. Last week, I told him I wasn’t sure the bar was for me but not why. Given his concerns about the little he knew about Sebastian and me, to say I’ve lessened them is a lie.
He’s more concerned than ever, but in the last week, Sebastian and I have done a lot of talking.
And I now have a plan, at least somewhat. Really, the only thing I’m certain of is there’s no way I’ll go back to a nine-to-five job in a cubicle.
Sebastian believes I can do this. More than that, I want to do this.
“I’ll figure this out and I have lots of time. But I do have some ideas brewing which I’ll let you know about once I look into them more.” Plans like renovating and updating the bar, making the outside more welcoming. George’s Bar is great for what my dad wanted it to be, but I want something different. A little more lively. I’ve been brainstorming ideas with Sebastian all week long and the more I consider what I can do with this, the more determined I’ve become.
“If it’s yours, you don’t have to clear anything with me.”
“It’ll always be your bar, and now, maybe it’ll be the legacy we also leave to your grandchild.”
He blanches. Tan and wrinkled skin turns to snow and I laugh.
“Dad.”
He pulls his hand from beneath mine and like he’s done every time I’ve reminded him I’m pregnant, he scrubs his h
ands down his face.
“You’ll have to get used to that sometime, you know.”
One of his eyes peers open. “Have you?”
“I’m getting there.” And like I always do when I think of the baby growing inside of me, my hand settles to my stomach. “But I’m happy.”
There’s scared, nervous, fearful, anxious, elated, and joyful all joining my current mixed-up bundle of emotions over the last couple of weeks, but mostly, I’m choosing to be happy.
Mostly because Sebastian has decided to settle on ecstatic over the news, so it’s hard to let worry and fear creep in.
“Then I suppose I should get used to becoming a grandpa, huh?”
“You have time.”
“So do you,” he says, bringing us back to the topic of the bar. “You have time to decide this isn’t right for you for whatever reason and now that you’ve got something else to put first, I get it. You know that, right?”
“Like I’ve always said. If I decide to do something different, I won’t hesitate to let you know, but this feels right. And I have time to figure out how to make it work so I can run and own the bar, but not be here all the time. Trust me, I’ll figure it out.”
He sighs, big belly jostling with the force of it. Leaning back in his chair, he settles his hands on his stomach, linking his fingers together. “Then I guess I need to start planning what I’m going to do with retirement. Can’t move to Florida now and be too far away from watching my grandbaby grow up, can I?”
Tears prick the corners of my eyes. “You can still take up golfing.”
“Maybe tennis.”
“And shuffleboard.” He grimaces as he says it and lifts a hand. “Never mind. Maybe I’ll just be the old, washed-up regular at George’s and take a seat next to Steve.”
“Or, you could go find something, or someone that makes you happy too.”
“Let’s not get crazy.” He grins, but that sad look in his eyes every time I’ve ever mentioned him moving on and finding someone creeps in. “In all seriousness. You sure about this? Sebastian?”