Backstage Dirty (The Savage Light Rockers #1)

by Jenika Snow

  “Kick ass show, man.” A guy that had a VIP pass hanging from around his neck stopped in front of Jacks and grinned down at him. “I mean, when you did that solo on ‘Hell in the Sky’.” They guy tipped his head back and whistled low. “Fuck. It was sweet.”

  “Thank you. I’m glad you liked the show.” The room started to sway back and forth, and he could see the guy’s lips moving, but couldn’t hear exactly what he was saying. The whiskey was flowing fast and fierce through his veins, and coupled with the beer he had consumed Jacks was royally fucked up. The fan left to go speak with Beats and Matty. Five had taken Tanner with him as “moral support” to a piercing shop, but Jacks knew their bassist didn’t need support. He wanted to throw a little shock value at Tanner like the freak he was deep down inside. Jacks would have gone with them, but he had been swarmed with autographs, and before he could break loose Five was waving at him and hauling Tanner out of the back of the building. He should kick his ass for running off with his girl, but that was just the possessive side of him talking. He trusted Five with his life, and with making sure Tanner was safe. Hell, he trusted Matty and Beats, too. They had all been through a lot of shit, worked hard to get where they were, and they were all like his brothers. The truth was he wanted Tanner all to himself, wanted to be the one to take her away from the chaos of the life they led at a whim, and was greedy for her time.

  “Hey, Jacks.”

  He knew who stood right in front of him before he even lifted his head and looked at Laura. There was this pinched expression on her face, and she held a beer in one hand, and a bottle of water in the other. He might be drunk, but if she started any shit with him tonight and tried to jump on his nuts he wasn’t going to mince his words when he told her to back the fuck off and leave the tour. “Laura, please don’t start tonight.” He let his head fall against the back of the couch, and shifted so he was in a slouched position. He felt good, damn good, but he’d feel a hell of a lot better if Tanner was by his side. He had always cared for that girl, and over the years those feelings had never left, even if he had buried that shit deep down to get through it. Things had been essentially glossed over between them, and maybe when the tour was over they could sit down and talk in deep detail about what all had gone down during those five years, but right now he didn’t want to worry about any of that. Jacks just wanted to enjoy her company and this time that he had. Things could change at the drop of a hat, and he never took for granted the things in his life, especially not when it concerned Tanner.

  “I’m not here to start anything, Jacks.” She held out a bottle of water. “You look like you need this more than this.” She held up the beer she held in her other hand.

  He eyed it for a few seconds, but finally exhaled and grabbed the bottle. “Thanks.” He popped the cap and took several big swallows. He shouldn’t have thrown back all those shots consecutively like that, but when the air was filled with the excitement and everyone was pumped, it was hard not getting sucked into it all. Laura sat beside him, and he glanced at her. She may act like she wasn’t going to start anything, but since they had fucked that one time she had been trying to have a repeat episode. They sat in silence, but he put Laura out of his head and tried to focus on the party around him and get the room to stop spinning. Some girls were giving lap dances to the roadies, and even Matty was enjoying some tits in his face. The room was thick with the sweet scent of pot in the air, and although he didn’t do drugs, it was hard to stay away from it.

  “You’re pretty drunk,” Laura said beside him.

  “Yeah A little bit.” He drank a little more water.

  “So…”

  When she paused and didn’t immediately finish her sentence he glanced over at her. “What?”

  “You’re serious about that chick?” Laura sounded nonchalant

  He stared at her. “I told you I wasn’t in the mood for this shit, Laura.” He rested his head on the back of the couch once more and closed his eyes.

  “I’m not starting shit. I really want to know. I don’t see what the big deal about her is. She just showed up last week, and all of the sudden you don’t fuck anyone else?” She moved an inch closer to him.

  Before he could set her straight that Tanner wasn’t just some random woman he had picked up, but a childhood friend that he had grown to love more than anything else, she was speaking again.

  “I mean, you used to screw any bitch that threw themselves at you.”

  “Shut the fuck up, Laura.” He leaned forward and scrubbed a hand over his face. He was getting clammy, and a cold sweat was starting to form along his brow and the length of his spine. Yeah, he was going to fucking puke. Damn, he felt like a lightweight. Suddenly his stomach clenched. The mixture of the loud music, booze, chaotic action, and of course the fact Laura was starting in on him after he had shut this shit down several times already.

  “You aren’t looking too good.” She reached out and placed her hand on his thigh, but Jacks pushed it away.

  “I’m serious, Laura. I am not going there with you again.” He pushed back the fact he felt like he was going to be sick, and looked at her. “I don’t want you. I love Tanner.” He didn’t miss the way she narrowed her eyes and clenched her jaw a second before she smoothed her features. He shouldn’t have guzzled those shots, and then chugged nearly half the bottle of water.

  “You want some more water, or maybe something to eat?”

  And that was the last thing that he needed to hear for the nausea to go into throw-up mode. He stood and pushed his way through the thick crowd that filled the room. Some of them tried to stop and talk to get, get his autograph, and pass him a joint, but Jacks was two seconds away from making an ass out of himself and getting sick everywhere. When he got to the bathroom he pushed the door open hard enough that it slammed against the wall. There was a girl sitting on the counter getting eaten out by a guy on his knees before her. “Get the fuck out.”

  “What the hell, man.” The guy stood and turned toward Jacks, but when he obviously saw who he was his eyes widened. “Shit, dude, sorry. Yeah, yeah we’re going.” The guy wiped his mouth with the back of his arm, and then helped the girl off the counter. “Love your work, Jacks.”

  He pushed them out without saying anything, but he couldn’t because he was feeling sicker with every passing second. He slammed the door shut, went over to the toilet, and lifted the lid. He threw up like he was a teenager drunk for the first time, but he was glad no one could see him. When he was dry heaving and nothing else came up, he pushed himself off the floor and went over to the sink. After washing out his mouth and using some mouthwash, he sat his ass back on the floor and leaned against the tub to make sure he was finished being sick. Damn, he couldn’t remember the last time this had happened. He pulled his legs up and rested his forearms on his knees. Jacks hung his head and closing his eyes, he breathed out, ready to pass the hell out.

  “You okay?”

  He hadn’t heard the door open, but of course Laura was here. “Not really in the mood for more of this bullshit.” He didn’t bother lifting his head. If he didn’t make it to a bedroom he’d be spending the night on the floor. His cell vibrated in his pocket, and he had to shift and move his leg in order to get it. Vision blurry, coordination shit, Jacks had to really stare at the screen on his phone, but finally he made out the text.

  Five: Pierced up baby. Bringing ur grl home. Tried to get Tanner 2 pierce something *wink* B there in 20, but traffic is a bitch.

  Damn, why did he let himself get this bad? He shoved his phone in his front pocket but missed completely, and it cracked against the tiled floor.

  “Here.”

  Before he could tell her he was fine and didn’t need her help she was crouched in front of him and had his phone in her hand.

  “Come on. You look ready to crash.”

  “I’m good. Just go get Matty or Beats.”

  She was moving beside him, and putting a hand under his elbow. “They are otherwise occupied.�
�

  He turned and looked at her, and she shrugged.

  “I saw Matty take a girl into a room, and Beats left the room with a bunch of guys and some girls. I don’t know where they went.”

  “Shit.”

  “Come on. I’ll help you to a room to sleep this off.”

  He pushed himself up and moved out of her grasp. Stumbling out of the bathroom, and pushing his way through the people to get to the hallway, Jacks had to brace a hand on the wall to steady himself. There was a guy and a girl that were making out a few feet from him, and even through his blurry vision he recognized that they were the same ones he had kicked out of the bathroom. “You guys should get a room.” His words came out of him in a slurred, jumbled mess, but the guy broke away from the girl and grinned over at him.

  “Nah, man, this is the perfect place.” He went back to kissing her, and Jacks felt like he was dreaming, He was that drunk.

  Finally reaching a back bedroom, Jacks went right to the large ass bed in the center of the room. He would just lie down and wait for Tanner and Five to get back, and then he’d pull his girl close and let himself pass the fuck out. He face planted on the mattress and closed his eyes, and before he knew it he was out cold.

  ****

  Tanner could hear the music before she even got off the elevator. Five had picked up a twenty-something-year-old that had been stumbling around with her friends in the lobby. Once he had found out she had just come back in from smoking and was heading back to the after party, he had talked her into seeing the rest of the night with him so fast Tanner’s head spun. But then again he was Five from Savage Light, so she supposed there really didn’t need to be much “talking her into it”.

  The elevator dinged on each floor it passed as it continued to ascend, and the sound of Five sucking face with the bleached blonde was louder than that. Tanner kept to the other side of the small, box enclosure, trying not to pay attention to the fact Five was dry humping the girl, and she knew that in a few minutes they’d be screwing right in front of her. Looking up at the ceiling, and then at the ground, she prayed for the damn elevator to get to the floor. Of course the room was taking up the entire suite floor of the hotel. The wet, slurping sounds were so loud they were distracting, and Tanner found herself glancing at them. Bad mistake, but it was one of those things, like if she was passing an accident it is impossible not to look. There they were, Five all over this girl, his hand on her chest, his tongue practically down her throat, and the god-awful moaning coming from the both of them. The girl had her leg around Five’s waist, and her hand was doing some kind of up and down motion between their bodies.

  Tanner faced forward again, started humming a song in her head to try to drown out the noises around her, but couldn’t get the image of Five planning on screwing this chick after he had gotten his junk pierced. Now, Tanner didn’t know exactly how detailed he had gotten with the piercing, because even though Five had invited her to the back to watch it all, she was not in the mood to see his dick. She grabbed her cell and saw Jacks still hadn’t texted her back. She sent another one out, trying to find something to occupy her and keep her mind off of being a voyeur.

  Stuck in this slow ass elevator with Five and this grl he picked up in the lobby nearly doing it.

  She shoved her phone in her pocket. Most likely he just couldn’t hear his phone because of the party. Finally, because it felt like it had taken forever to get to their floor, the elevator finally stopped and the doors opened. She was out and headed down the hallway where the music was coming from. Some security guys were standing on the outside, as was the usual scene she was finding out, and when she pushed open one of the double doors that led to the master suite of the top floor she was confronted with a wild and almost outrageous party. The guys didn’t party like this after every show, and after that one she went to after Rosco’s, this was the second after concert party she had joined. Half naked women were flaunting around the room, the music was ear splittingly loud, and the scent of alcohol and pot filled the air. She coughed and wrinkled her nose, and searched the room for Jacks or any of the other band members. Of course she didn’t see anyone. Moving more into the room she moved through the bodies that smelled like sweat, tried to listen for Jacks or the other guys’ voices through the loud laughter and music, but felt like she was drowning in a sea of bodies.

  When she finally broke through the center of the room and saw the hallway, it was to see a guy leaning against the wall with his face buried in the crook of this girl’s neck, and then of Laura coming out of the back room buttoning up her too tight cropped shirt. Tanner stopped, her heart pounding in her chest as she watched Laura slowly button up each small, pearl colored bead. The music faded away as Tanner looked at the partially closed door and then back at Laura. Her heart was beating in her ears and filled her throat so it felt clogged and tight. Laura stopped when she saw Tanner standing there, and that damn bitch grinned this self-satisfied smile that had Tanner curling her hands into fists at her sides. Laura moved closer to her, and when there was only a few feet from them she smiled even broader.

  “You looking for Jacks?”

  Tanner didn’t answer, just stared at Laura, knowing she should respond, but unable to. She was suddenly furious and knew that if anything came from her mouth it would be vile and from anger. Oh, Tanner wanted to say some pretty out there stuff, but she didn’t know what happened, and if Laura had done with Jacks what Tanner was envisioning.

  “He’s in bed.” Laura lifted her hand and ran her finger along the corner of her mouth. “He’s worn out.” She took another step toward her. “I told you to stay out of my way. You’re just another random, easy access pussy for his enjoyment, and once this tour is over with you’ll be gone like the rest of them.” Laura grinned, and her red painted lips stretched wide over her teeth. “And I’ll still be here, giving him exactly what he needs because I know how he likes it.” And then Laura moved past her and disappeared in the crowd.

  Tanner moved down the hallway and passed the couple still making out. Hand on the cold, wood of the door now she pushed it open and stepped inside. There was this light floral fragrance that filled the room. It was nothing like the cloying, thick scent of the stench perfume Laura normally wore. The lights were off, and the curtains pushed to the side so the lights of Cleveland shown through. She could see Jacks on the bed on his stomach, but his head was facing away from the window so she could not see his face. His shirt was off, but his pants were still on and so were his shoes. Just looking at him she wouldn’t have assumed he had just had sex with Laura, but she supposed all he needed to have undone was his zipper. Even though this sick feeling filled her at the thought of Laura all over Jacks, there was another part of her that said he would never do this, not after everything he had told her, and everything they had been through. They weren’t just childhood friends; they were so much more than that.

  “Jacks?” She said his name softly and moved closer to him. He made a grunting noise, but otherwise stayed motionless. “Jacks, are you awake?” She honestly didn’t know why she asked that when it was clear he wasn’t. Now right beside him she ran her gaze along the hard length of his body. He was so tall and muscular. Not having the lean swimmer’s body any longer, Jacks was all rock solid now, and covered in ink. Even the darkness couldn’t hide his form from her, and despite what could have happened between him and Laura, she still found herself reaching out to him and running the pads of her fingers along the indentation of his spine.

  “Tanner.” He mumbled her name, but his eyes were still closed. He rolled onto his back, and the tendons and muscles of his arms and chest flexed from the movement, but her gaze was directed at the fly of his pants. His belt was still on, and the button and zipper still firmly where they were supposed to be.

  “That lying cunt.” She hadn’t meant to say it out loud. She had known deep in her heart that Jacks wouldn’t betray her, even though they had only been a couple for such a short time.

&nb
sp; Jacks groaned and lifted his hand to rub it over his face. “I shouldn’t have drunk so much.” His words were slurred and his voice raspy. His eyes were still closed, so she didn’t know if he was talking to her or himself.

  “Jackson.” She hadn’t said his full name in so long, and as soon as it left her mouth he dropped his hand, opened his eyes and looked over at her. For a second it seemed he was looking through her, but then he blinked several times and this smile lit up his whole damn face. She couldn’t even describe it, maybe more along the lines of someone seeing another person they hadn’t seen in forever, or at least that was how she felt.

  “Tanner.” He pushed himself up and braced his upper body on one of his elbows. “I didn’t mean to get so fucked up.” He rubbed his eyes once more and exhaled. “They just kept handing me shot after shot, and I was feeling good from the concert, and knowing you were here.” He dropped his hand, but reached out to her before it hit the bed.

  “Laura implied you two fucked, well, maybe not fucked, but did something sexual.”

  “That bitch.” He looked at the door, and then back toward her. “I didn’t—”

  She held up her hand and shook her head. “I know you didn’t sleep with her, but I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that for a small window of time I thought something might have happened.”

  He shifted so now he was sitting on the edge of the bed, groaned and closed his eyes for a moment. She had taken a step back to give him some room. “Never, Tanner.” He looked up at her. “I would never fucking betray you like that.”

  He lifted his hand and curled his fingers around her waist, pulling her close. He was strong, but then again she wasn’t fighting it. Was it weird that Laura was right in the other room? Maybe, but Tanner didn’t care. In fact, Laura probably thought that she had screwed up what Tanner and Jacks had, yet Tanner wasn’t even worrying about that shit anymore. Right now all she could focus on was the way he was staring at her. His eyes were red-rimmed, and even with the shadows she saw how glossy his eyes were. But he looked at her with this clear, determined expression.