Shell sat a box down in front of her and waited patiently for her to open it. Hannah’s gifts had become something that they both looked forward too. They each tried to guess what it was before she officially ripped into it.
“I’m not sure about this one,” Hannah told Shell, tilting her head from side to side. “All the other ones have been self-explanatory, this one is a box.”
“I gotta admit, I’m stumped too. Usually there’s a rhyme and reason for what he’s sending and we can get a good clue from how it looks wrapped, but this…” Shell trailed off.
Shrugging, Hannah tore in, wondering just what in the world she would find there. She tried to think back to the conversations that she and Garrett had been having lately. “I have no idea either,” she said as she opened the box, laughing when she saw what was in there.
“What the hell is that?”
Hannah took a minute to examine it and then threw her head back laughing. “It’s different meal replacement drinks. He told me after I weighed in the other day that I needed to slow down the weight loss.” She pulled out the first one and saw it had a note attached to it. “Oh my God,” she giggled.
“Did he make personal notes for you?” Shell asked as she scoped the writing that was attached to each bottle.
Flipping the carton around in her hand, she saw that he had. “It looks like he taste-tested them for me,” she laughed. “He’s insane.”
“About you, and it’s super cute.” To say that Shell was a little jealous was an understatement, but it would do her no good to talk about it.
“He’ll be here the day after tomorrow and I’m excited.”
Shell watched her friend. The excitement was noticeable in the way her eyes brightened, the smile on her face got bigger, and the tone of her skin. There was one thing that none of them had counted on with this marriage—how much it would help Hannah become the person they all knew had been inside her. It had helped her blossom, and Shell had never been happier. “I’m excited for you. I know these past few weeks haven’t been easy.”
“They haven’t been easy on any of us. It’s not only me, it’s everybody. We’ve all worked our behinds off.”
“That’s true, but I think you’ve dealt with the brunt of the stress. You’re the one going out there killing it every night, when all you seriously want to do is be at home with your husband. I have to give it to you, I didn’t know if you would be able to do these eight weeks, but you’ve been a trooper. I’m proud of you, Han.”
She smiled. “Thanks, but I’m so ready to go home,” she laughed. “But I’m going to suck it up, drink this meal replacement that says ‘I rock’ and hope for the best.”
Truer words had never been spoken for all of them.
* * *
Shell loved mornings when she was the only one awake. The bus that she and Hannah occupied never had that many people in it, Hannah valued her privacy too much, but sometimes it was nice to be awake without Hannah. It was in those moments that she allowed herself to reflect on where she was in her life and do it alone. It was where she cried most of her tears and let her fears take hold. She never told those things or shared those feelings with anyone. It was her way of self-preservation.
This morning, she moved to the coffee maker and got her first cup before sitting down at the bar. In front of her on her laptop screen was the information that she needed to apply for the college program that she had been looking into. Scared didn’t even begin to describe the way she was feeling. There had been points in her life where she hadn’t been sure what she wanted to do, but this was a whole different ballgame. Hannah had told her what her own plans were, and for the first time, those didn’t include Shell. It was time for her to realize and understand that maybe she would have to continue with something that didn’t include the two of them. It had weighed heavily on her, after they had their talk, but Shell had made it a point not to dwell on it and never to mention it in front of Hannah. Hannah already felt bad enough about everything without her piling on other drama.
Beside her laptop, her cell phone vibrated. It was Jared, and that brought a real smile to her face.
Morning! I’m about to go to bed, but I wanted to wish you a good day.
It was times like this when she could believe that he did love her, that what they were building on was something as important to him as it was to her. She held these little moments close to her. It wasn’t often that he thought to do the little things like this. He wasn’t thoughtful in the way that Garrett was. There were no trinkets just because he was thinking about her. There were no surprise flower deliveries because he knew she liked them, but that was okay. That’s who Jared was, and she could deal with that, but she wasn’t sure she could deal with the lack of feeling.
Thanks! I hope you have a good day too!
Overuse of exclamation points, another thing that told her just how much she wanted this to work with him. She was willing to act like everything was fine, even be overly cheerful about it. That was not her at all. If he noticed, he didn’t say anything about it, and that pissed her off too. All she wanted him to do was care about her the way she cared about him. Turning the phone over with more force than needed, she went back to the application, hoping that she was doing the right thing. As she read along with what she needed, there was a knock at the bus door.
Glancing out, she saw that they were stopped at a convenience store, and she wondered who in the world would be knocking. She got up and walked up to the front of the bus, her eyes widening when she saw Garrett standing outside.
“What are you doing here? I thought we were picking you up later on today?” she asked as she let him in.
“I texted the bus driver to see where you all were and it wasn’t too far from the airport that I flew into. Since I knew he had to gas up and that would take a while, I decided it would be easier just to go ahead and meet you all. Is she still asleep?” he asked as he made his way onto the bus and sat his bag down.
“Yeah, I didn’t want to wake her up, she’s been so tired lately with everything going on.”
Garrett shrugged out of his hoodie and sat it down on top of his bag. “I don’t blame you; she seems very stressed when I’ve talked to her on the phone the last few times. I hate what this is doing to her, and then all that bullshit with Bryson? I have half a mind to find that fucker myself.”
“I’m always up for assholes getting what they deserve, and I think he deserves whatever you give him. There was no reason for him to bring Hannah into that, unless of course what she said was true. The record company made promises on her behalf that she never intended to keep.”
He nodded, but even then, Garrett didn’t think it mattered. He didn’t trust the fucker, and that was all there was to it. “I’m gonna head on back if that’s okay with you.”
“Sure.” She smiled softly. “Go see your wife. She’s missed you.”
“Oh, before I forget.” He reached into the pocket of the hoodie he had just taken off and pulled out an envelope. “Jared told me to give this to you.”
For a long time, Shell held it in her hands, not sure what to do with it. Did she open it? What if it was a ‘see ya later’ letter? Finally, after glancing up at the clock and realizing that she’d held the envelope for over an hour, she steeled herself and tore into it. If he wanted to be alone, she had to know; there was no point in following along with Hannah when Black Friday toured next year, if that was the case.
Shell,
I know I try your patience, I know that I’m not the type of man that you thought you’d end up with, and I know that you’re a saint for putting up with me. I don’t tell you half the things you deserve to know or half the things I think about you. I was at Garrett’s the other night and overheard something that Hannah was talking to him about. You confessed that I’d never told you I loved you, and Hannah was all over Garrett’s shit for it.
She’s a great friend, one you need to keep for the rest of your life.
Hearin
g her say the things she did made me feel like a piece of shit, and maybe that’s what I needed. I’ve taken you for granted for a long time, beautiful, because you’ve been here, and I always assumed you would be. From the moment we had coffee with each other, I always knew you would be in my life, I never thought of it another way. It’s my fault that you don’t know how I feel about you because I can’t put those feelings into words. That’s why I’m writing this right now, I can’t open my mouth and tell you these things.
My childhood was not a good one, and I never knew what the word love meant until I was a teenager. I love Garrett, he’s my best friend. I love the guys, they’ve had my back forever, they’ve seen me do things that should have disgusted them, but instead they’ve always picked me up when I fall. I love the Thompson’s, without them, I wouldn’t be who I am today. I would be thirty-thousand times more fucked up and on the streets with a needle in my arm.
But you, you…you’ve taught me a different kind of love. One that I never hoped I would know. I didn’t dare, because I knew I wasn’t worthy and I knew that I wasn’t capable. Michelle, you blew that notion, that assumption, out of the water. It was gradual and it took me a while to realize what the catch in my breath, the double beat of my heart was whenever I saw you, but never doubt it’s not felt. Never doubt that it’s not there. I may not be conventional, and I may not be able to tell you the words in person yet—I’m working on it. I will always be a work in progress, and I need you to understand that.
I love you. I love everything about you.
I’m so sorry you wondered, because there should not be one sliver of doubt in your mind.
Jared
It was hard to see through the tears that clouded her eyes, and it was even harder to swallow past the tightness in her throat, but she did it. Shell picked up the phone and placed the most important call of her life, and when he picked up, she knew that everything wouldn’t be perfect all the time, but she knew that with him she could handle it. As long as he loved her, she could do anything in the world.
Chapter Twenty-Five
* * *
Garrett didn’t know what was in the letter he’d handed Shell, and he didn’t wait around to find out. That was between her and Jared. He’d done what he could in trying to convince Jared that he needed to let the woman in his life know exactly what she meant to him. Other than that, he was staying out of it. Jared was the type of man to do what he wanted to do, and Garrett knew that. He only hoped he’d done what he should have.
Quietly, he made his way into Hannah’s room and shut the door. It was still very early in the morning; he’d flown all night but had managed to get some sleep on the plane. There was nothing he enjoyed more than to wrap up with her, though, so he was going to take complete advantage of the situation. He’d purposely packed a bunch of DVDs and some snacks in the bag he’d left out in the lounge area. They were going to relax if it killed them. They didn’t do much of it, always on the go, always trying to fit in this and that. He was going to lie down with her and make sure she rested, no matter how bored he got.
Taking off everything but his boxer briefs, he quickly got under the covers and pulled her to him. A sigh of contentment escaped him when Hannah molded her body to his and clasped his hand in her sleep. He couldn’t wait when this was where they would both be for longer than a few nights here and there. He rested better with her around; he felt more at peace and more at ease when she was around. Garrett wouldn’t admit it to anyone, but he needed this—this grounded him in ways that other things never had. Without her, he could feel himself slipping into bad habits. He was drinking too much, and when that happened, he was an asshole. The relief of knowing that they only had a week of this left was astounding. Curling his arm around her head, he got as close as he could and inhaled the smell that was Hannah. His mind, heart, and soul finally at peace, he drifted off.
* * *
Hannah inhaled deeply, stretching against the sheets on her bed. Something was different from when she’d gone to sleep. It was warmer and she felt safe. Glancing down, she saw tattoos and a strong forearm around her waist. Sometime while she slept, Garrett had come in. With a smile stretching across her face, she ran her fingers over his forearm, tracing some of the ink there. She would never get over how much she loved that about him. Behind her, he jerked at her touch.
“Han?” His voice was deep with sleep, her favorite way.
“Yeah.” She rolled over in his arms so that she could see his face. “When did you get here?” she asked, reaching up to place a kiss on his jawline. It wasn’t smooth, so she knew he hadn’t been there long enough to shave.
“Early this morning. Shell let me in. Everything just happened to work out right, and I was able to meet the bus,” he explained, running a hand over his face to try and help him wake up.
“I’m glad you’re here.” She squeezed his hip and pushed her way closer to him.
He smiled against her hair, closing his eyes against the sunlight that was coming in between her blinds. “I was hoping to surprise you. I didn’t expect to fall asleep, but I guess I needed it more than I thought.”
She had the feeling that he didn’t sleep any better than she did when they were apart. This was taking a toll on the both of them, and she would be glad when it was done. They both needed a break. Hannah ran her hands up his stomach and chest before clasping her hands around his neck, burrowing her face into the space where his shoulder allowed her to fit perfectly. “You probably did. This hasn’t been hard on only me. I’m glad you were able to rest. What time is it?”
He turned so that he could see the clock and laughed. “Almost one in the afternoon. Damn.”
“Good thing this is a travel day, huh?”
“Well I had planned to keep you in bed all day anyway,” he threw out off-handedly. “Not like that,” he laughed when she smirked at him. “I brought a ton of DVDs, and I loaded my iPad with games. We are relaxing today.”
“Sex is relaxing,” she whispered against his ear, snaking her tongue out to try and tempt him.
“No, we always do that when we’re alone together.” He pushed her away. “And then you go away or I go away, and it sucks. We have a week left, we can last. We’re watching movies and playing games today.”
She pursed her lips and removed her hands from around his neck “If you say so.”
“I do.”
He was so adamant about it that she couldn’t help but laugh. “Fine, so do tell, what are we going to do first?”
“First,” he said as he got up and swung his legs over the bed. “You need to eat, so I’m going to go find us something and check on Shell.”
“Wait.” She sat up, surprise in her voice. “Why are you checking on Shell? Did something happen while I was asleep?”
“Jared gave me a letter to give to her.”
Fear gripped her heart. “It wasn’t a break-up letter was it?” she blurted out before she could stop herself.
“I don’t know, Hannah,” he told her as patiently as possible. “I didn’t read it before I gave it to her, and I didn’t stick around once I did give it to her. I wanted to give her some privacy, just in case it was bad, but I think it was okay. Jared and I had a talk before I left to come here. I think I explained to him what she needed to hear if he does in fact feel that way about her. He asked me to give it to her. I’ve done that, now I want to make sure she’s okay.”
He was such a good guy, such a good friend. He would do anything for anyone that asked him. It was one of the things she loved most about him. “If she needs me, will you please let me know?”
“I will,” he told her as he put his clothes back on. “I have to see this through, though. I brought it to her; I want to make sure she’s okay.”
Hannah stood up from the bed and walked over to where he stood. She carefully twined her arms around his neck and pulled him down so that she could brush her lips over his. “I know, and I love you for it.”
That wasn’t exactl
y what he was going for, but Garrett knew he would take it, no matter what. “Be right back.”
It was hard for her to let him go in the other room and try to take care of her friend. It went against everything that she and Shell had stood for in their relationship, but she had to acknowledge that maybe that was a part of growing up too. Maybe Garrett could now give Shell what she never could—a glimpse into what it was like to be with Jared and understand him. She had to let them do this—not only for them, but for herself too. She had to trust that Garret knew what he was doing, and she had to trust that Shell would be okay if good news or bad news didn’t come from her.
* * *
“Hey,” Garrett started as he walked into the sitting area. Shell still sat in front of her laptop but looked up when he made his presence known. He watched her for signs of distress just like he would Hannah. Relieved, he saw that there were no red eyes, no puffy skin, and no tear tracks. “You okay?”
Shell chuckled. “If you’re trying to ask me if Jared broke up with me, the answer is no. He told me a lot of things in that letter that I needed to hear, and I’m thankful that you brought it to me.”
“Thank God,” he breathed deeply, running his hands through his hair. “I’m not going to lie. I was nervous.”
“How the hell do you think I felt when you gave it to me?”
He turned to the fridge and began rummaging around in it. “Well, at least now this doesn’t have to be all awkward. I told Hannah to let me come out here and talk to you about it because I felt like I had to. Really, though, I was afraid you were going to bust me in the balls if he’d broken up with you. You know, shooting the messenger and all that.” He spared a glance back at her.
“No.” She winked. “You’re safe.” She watched him for a few more minutes as he continued to make a huge amount of noise going through the fridge. “Garrett, what in the fuck are you looking for?”
The Price of Love (Rockin' Country Book 2) Page 15