“Unless you’re busy,” Alec winks, before they turn and they’re off. I watch them leave until they disappear into the airport and I’m forced to leave, the taxi takes me to the bus lot where Lorelei and May are already waiting for my arrival. When we get on the bus, we’re on and on the road again. Laila and Geo were probably already almost to Charlotte. They got a head start, but we’d get there in time to get comfortable in the hotel room, before having to start the night. The entire bus trip, I lie with Lorelei in her bunk, watching movies, thinking of what was going to happen when I arrived in Charlotte.
I knew Braum was going to be there. I knew he was going to be single, and he saw my performance. When I eventually fall asleep, it’s to the soft bumps of the road, Lorelei wakes me up poking my face, and whispering about how hungry she is. When we leave the bus, were at the gas station, and the drivers are drinking coffee, and smoking cigarettes.
“Good morning Ms. Waterson,” Our Driver, Owen waves. I wave and Lorelei walk into the gas station for snacks, and coffee.
“Anything else for you ma’am?” the clerk asks.
“Nothing else,”
“I hope it’s not too much to ask, but my daughter is a big fan,” the clerk asks, and I quickly scribble something down on a piece of paper.
“Enjoy the rest of your day,” I smile, before grabbing the bags and leaving with Lorelei. We climb back on the bus, and May is sitting in her bed eating cereal and facetiming someone. I climb back into bed with Lorelei and we eat snacks and watch morning kid shows.
“We’ll be arriving in Charlotte in less than an hour,” Owen says, as he boards the bus again. I check my itinerary when we arrive in Charlotte. I have a check in at the venue, and then I can unload in the hotel before rehearsal and mic. Check. I move into the bathroom to wash my face, my phone buzzing in my pockets. I reply after I finish my routine.
“Hello?”
“You will never guess who I saw outside of the venue,” Laila says. “I’m here with Maddi, getting our seats and bam I saw Braum! People are tweeting and snapping what the hell,” she says.
“You saw him, did you speak?”
“What no? gross?” she says. “Why is he here? He isn’t supposed to be back until New York,”
“He broke off the engagement with Carson,” I spit out. “And coming to see me,”
“Are you joking? Why didn’t you tell me,” she asks, I rest my head on the wall, holding my breath.
“Because I didn’t want people changing how I feel about this situation, I know how you feel about Braum,” I say.
“You know how feel about what he did to you, how he made you feel,” she says.
“I’m not saying I’m forgiving him Laila okay. But I want to hear him out…. I want to do what we should have done 5 years ago, and talk,”
Chapter Twenty
“So, Mic. Check is at 5 and rehearsals are at 5:30,” Maddi says, following me through the venue. “Do you have any other questions?” she asks.
“I just need some pain killers and a nap, and I’ll be A-Okay,” I say.
“You’ll have a two-day break on our way to New York,” Maddi says, nudging me. “I’ll see you at 5:30,” Maddi says, before heading away and disappearing. I head towards the kiddie corner where Lorelei sat with May.
“Ready to go?” I say.
“All ready,” May says. “I have some work to do for school, so can I stay at the hotel tonight’s show?” May asks.
“Of course, I can get Laila and Geo to keep an eye on her,” I say. We grab the rest of our belongings and head towards the exit. We walk out to the cars, and I wave to camera’s and the flashing lights. My fans scream from the venue gates, practically squeezing their way through. We get into the cars and I hadn’t even thought about Braum until this moment. I hadn’t contacted him since being in Charlotte, blaming it on my busy schedule. Laila and Geo hadn’t seen him since before I had arrived, and I had no clue where he was going to be. When we get to our hotel, Geo is waiting in the garage near his security truck.
“For the record, I don’t think this is a good idea,” he says. “But Laila said it’s not my option, and I shouldn’t really give my input,” he says, as we approach him. He takes Lorelei from me, spinning her around and kissing her.
“What are you talking about?” I ask.
“Braum is waiting for you in our room, Laila is waiting with him,” Geo says. “She said you wanted to talk to him,”
“I do,” I say. We head to the elevators, my body buzzing, my hands sweaty. For the first time since Braum re-entering my life, I was nervous to see him. The feeling didn’t feel me with dread anymore, just anxiety filled anticipation. When we made it to the floor, I felt like I had weights on my ankle, as we walked down the hallway, Geo opens the door and Lorelei nearly flies out of his arms.
“Dada!” she shouts, running into Braum’s arms.
“Hey baby girl,” he says, squeezing our daughter, and peppering her with kisses. “I missed you so much,” he says.
“Are you staying! Are you staying?!” she asks.
“For now, sweetheart,” Braum says,
“Lorelei, Daddy and Mommy need to talk, do you want to get some snacks?” Laila asks, standing and taking Lorelei from her dad. Lorelei was reluctant and angry at first, prepared to throw her class- a tantrum but Geo manages to pull her away, leaving only Braum and I in the room together.
“So, you saw the performance,” I say.
“My mother sent it to me,” he says.
“And you broke off your engagement with Carson?” I say.
“It just didn’t feel right,” he says, before holding out his hand. I step forward taking It and he leads me to couch, we take a seat, just a few inches apart. “Should I… Start?”
“No… I want to...” I say, he nods before squeezing my hand. “There has been a lot I’ve wanted to say to you Braum, since the day we broke up, and the day I left California, all I could think about was what I wanted to say to you, but surprisingly I could never find the words, I hid my feelings in my music and that my only outlet,” I say. “I remember the day you we said we loved each other, you said it first, and I’ve never been able to recapture that feeling…. Except when I’m with Lorelei, I spent a lot of time wondering why I wasn’t good enough for you Braum, it kept me up at night think how I messed up a and what I could have done differently” I admit. “It took me a while, but I realized that I didn’t do anything, and that sometimes things happen, people grow apart and stop loving each other,”
“I never stopped loving you Adeya,” he pauses, before continuing. “I am so sorry what I put you through Adeya…. No one deserves what I put you through, hell if you did what I did to you, I don’t know how I’d forgive you, but I do know that I thought about you every day from the moment you left, every second with Demetra, every second I was alone, every second I was with Carson, all I could think about was your smile, and your laugh, and the way you talk in your sleep and I missed waking up to you, and listening to you sing in the shower…. If there was one thing, I regretted the most was letting you go Adeya,”
“I wish things were easier, I wish I wasn’t so hurt, and looking at you didn’t make me think of everything that happened between us,”
“I understand, I know I hurt you,” he says. “Do you think there can be something?”
“I have things I need to think about, I have to put my best interest forward” I say.
“You can take your time… I just needed to see you, and I needed to tell you this because if I didn’t, I don’t know what I’d do,” he says, before leaning in and pecking me on the cheek. He leans away. “I’ll stay for the show, but I have to go back to L.A, I left Carson there and she’s probably burned through whatever things I have left,” he says, with a lifeless chuckle. “And then I’ll see you in New York, and maybe…. Depending how you feel, I’ll stay for the rest of the tour,”
“I’ll think about it,” I whisper. He pulls away leaving me alone on the
couch, and then in the room, it’s not long before Laila is rushing back into the room.
“So?”
“I still love him,” I say, she sits down in front of me.
“Did you tell him how you feel? Everything?” she asks.
“I told him I felt, I told him how he hurt me, and how difficult it was to find joy again,” I say, before biting the inside of my cheek. “And he’s still understanding, and listens, and he’s going back to L.A tonight, and I’ll see him in New York,”
“What are you going to do? Do you know?” she asks.
“I’m going to think about it, of course all I want is to be with him again and for Lorelei to have her Father and everything be a storybook happy ending, but after all this time and all this trouble, and although I still love him I don’t know if I want to make it work.”
“This is a big decision, and I suggest you think wisely, alright?” Laila says. “You’ve always been such an impulsive person, I mean Braum dumped you and you took the first flight out of state,” she says, before grabbing my shoulders. “It’s time to think, do you Adeya Waterson still want to be with Abraham Clifford?”
“Do I?”
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