by B. M. Hardin
Huh?
I was confused. Carter and Kareem’s story didn’t match up at all.
I looked at the boys. I could somewhat see a little bit of Carter in both of them now that he mentioned it. That explained why neither of them looked like Kareem.
“So, both of her kids are yours?” It broke my heart to say the words. He had never wanted to give me a child. He had always said that he was too busy yet he had given two of them to her.
“Yes,” Shelia spoke up.
“But Kareem said one of them was his,” I stated.
“How is that possible…Kareem had a vasectomy years ago, before we even married, that’s how he had known I was having an affair…when I popped up pregnant---the first time; he just didn’t know by who. At least not a first. When I saw you at his house that day, I was bringing the boys to see him one last time. It was just too complicated for them to continue seeing him,” Shelia said.
I was still stuck on the vasectomy part. Kareem had a vasectomy…really… a vasectomy?
What...How….Huh?
So that meant that I wasn’t pregnant by Kareem…which also meant I must have somewhere miscalculated and more than likely, I had been pregnant by Devon.
So I had had an abortion for nothing?
What the fuck!
I looked over a Devon and from the look on his face he was just as surprised as I was by the news.
The wave of heartache that hit me suddenly almost knocked me off of my feet. I couldn’t begin to put what I felt into words so I didn’t even try.
But I did want to know one thing.
“Devon, how do you know Carter,” I turned my attention to him.
“I met him, through Kareem a while back. I didn’t know that your ex-husband was the same Carter, nor did I know anything about this little sick and twisted arrangement that they had going on. I met him as one of his colleagues and friends. Hell, I didn’t even know that Kareem was interested in men,” Devon sung like a mockingbird. Carter nodded to inform me that Devon was telling the truth. Shelia looked at me with pity or maybe it was sympathy.
Whatever it was…I didn’t need it; especially not from her.
I simply shook my head.
I was so over the whole situation. I dropped the deserts that I had been holding the entire conversation on the floor and headed for the red Exit sign, with Devon right behind me on my heels.
“Trina, slow down, hold up,” Devon yelled but I kept walking until the chill from the December morning, smacked me in my face. I spotted Devon’s Escalade and headed in that direction.
Suddenly I heard tires screech and I looked behind me. Devon had his hands down on the hood of a white Chevy Malibu. It was only inches from the rest of his body.
“Watch where da’ fuck you goin’!” Devon screamed as the little lady got out of the car.
“Devon, I’m so sorry,” she said.
“Diamond? You could’ve killed me!” Devon shouted in her face.
As soon as he said her name I recognized her from the mall.
Oh this day just kept getting better...sike!
“I’m sorry Devon. I wasn’t trying to hit you I---“and she abruptly cut her sentence short.
She turned to look at me as I walked closer to her.
“You what?” Devon asked out of curiosity.
“I was trying to hit her,” she said boldly.
Huh?
“Huh, you what? What da’ fuck you talkin’ about?
“Oh, you don’t recognize me?” Diamond said, changing the sound of her voice, adding a sort of rich, country accent to it.
As soon as she opened her mouth, chills ran down my spine.
It was her. So, she was the bitch that had been calling my phone, the one that had tried to run me off the road, the one who had been stalking me and had burned up all my shit; the one that mocked my sister’s death.
I didn’t say one word, I just started swinging.
For awhile Devon didn’t stop me and he had better been glad that he didn’t. I was giving her the best of me and not in a good way. She fought back, but she couldn’t handle me. She was paying for everything she had done to me; and to be honest I was taking out every bit of my anger on her.
I didn’t even know why she would fuck with me in the first place. She had said I had slept with her man…but Devon wasn’t her damn man! She wasn’t the one with Devon at the time. He was with his wife. So how the fuck had I ruined her family?
What right did she have to be trying to kill me?
Devon finally grabbed me as the crowd seemed to grow larger at the sight of a chick fight.
The parents that were with their children, looked on with disbelief and disgust. I even caught a glimpse of Carter and his family as they looked on and soon turned their backs and walked away.
The Diamond girl hurriedly got into her car as I tried and tried to get my hands on her again.
“Diamond? Why would you try to kill her? Huh!” Devon said, still holding me tight around the waist.
Diamond looked embarrassed. I could see that she still had love for Devon but she knew that she had ruined whatever chance she might’ve had by opening her mouth.
“I was hired to do it,” she said, surrendering and wiping the blood from her nose with the back of one of her hands and placing the car into drive with the other.
“Huh, what, hired by who?” he asked.
“Her sister…” she said and then sped away.
Chapter Fifteen
“Merry Christmas!” Reese chimed as I entered the dining area. The smile on her face quickly faded when she noticed that my Burberry sweater was covered in blood.
“You hired someone to kill me?” I asked her furious. There was no question that Diamond was referring to her. Shanay would never have done such a thing.
At first she looked confused and then pure evil painted across her face. She leaned back in her chair and grabbed her cigarette.
I didn’t even know that she smoked.
Devon was standing behind me, holding on to the bottom of my sweater. He must have known that I was planning to attack her at any minute.
“Answer me damn it! Did you do it Reese? Did you try to get me killed? But I’m your sister; your own flesh and blood. Why?”
Reese took a deep breath.
“Because I hate you, Trina…I always have,” Reese said coldly.
Immediately, I no longer felt angry; all I felt was pain. I started to panting as Devon began to rub my shoulder. I saw Judge Fitch enter the room, looking first at Reese and then at me.
“But why?” I managed to ask. I had always been so good to everybody. I had always taken care of them. I had always loved them, even if we always didn’t see eye to eye.
“Trina, you were never there to me. I could never talk to you. You never gave a damn about me. All you cared about was Mama and Shanay. No one ever cared about me…except Mama’s husband. Why do you think I like older men? Why do you think I never minded being the other woman? Where were you every single time he touched me? You were my sister. You should have known. You should have been able to tell. But you or Mama ever seemed to notice. So, they had to pay…and so did…do you,” Reese said, unremorseful.
Did she just confess to killing our Mama and our step father? Had she had something to do with it?
I cried harder than I ever had before. I wouldn’t have guessed in a million years that she had been raped and molested. But it did explain her hard outer shell. It did explain so much of her history and relationship past.
“I’m so sorry, Reese, I didn’t know,” I sobbed.
“How could you have known? You never bothered to pay attention. Anyway, what’s done is done. He’s dead and gone. But, if it makes any difference, I didn’t know that Diamond had a history with Devon until after it all began. Hell, I hadn’t known that she was Kareem’s sister until recently. How we met isn’t important, and quite frankly, none of anyone’s business. But I didn’t want her to kill you…if she man
aged to, that would have been a bonus. If I really wanted you dead, I could have managed doing it myself. I just wanted her to make your life a living hell. I didn’t have time to do it. So, I paid her $50,000 to cause you grief,” Reese said, now sounding somewhat apologetic.
The room had somehow gotten incredibly small. I felt hot as though there wasn’t enough air circulation. Devon held me. I couldn’t believe what I had just heard. At this point, I just wanted to roll over and die.
Police Put Your Hands Up!
Everyone looked at the armed cops standing in the door way and we all raised our hands. I put my tears on paused as we all tried to figure out what was going on.
The police made their way over to Judge Fitch.
Immediately I thought about his wife’s murder.
“Judge Charles Lee Fitch, you are under arrest for the murder of Shanay Monique Jackson-Stevens, you have the right to remain silent---“
My heart, literally---well, not really, more like mentally and emotionally, fell out of my chest and hit the dining room floor.
What did he just say? Shanay? Judge Fitch had killed Shanay?
“Wait, there must be some kind of mistake. He didn’t kill Shanay, my husband didn’t kill my sister. Tell them they have made a mistake,” Reese who's whole demeanor had changed as she begged for the response of her husband but he remained quiet.
“Charles, tell me it’s not true,” Reese whined.
Fitch looked at her. The love in his eyes for her was blazing, burning brighter than it ever had before. I could tell that he was about to tell her the truth because he loved her so much.
“Reese, it’s true,” he said as they placed they placed the handcuffs around his wrists.
Reese shook her head no and started to bawl. I was already wailing at the top of my lungs. Devon yet again tightened his grip to keep me from charging at him but I was going crazy trying to break free. The police had to assist him with holding me but they had forgotten all about Reese who was now pounding on him.
“Why?” she asked him over and over again.
Fitch stuttered but soon it all was clear enough to understand.
“She was going to expose me. She was going to tell you and everybody the truth about me…about us. She was going to tell you that she had caught me leaving the hotel one night…I was having an affair…with---Boris, her husband,” Fitch said.
This whole down low thing was real.
And with the dropping of that bomb, my mind shut down, my heart stopped beating and I passed out…
***
Snap. Snap. Clap. Clap.
At the noise, I woke up in a room that I did not recognized---well, maybe it was sort of familiar. Though almost everything was all white, I wasn’t in a hospital. Maybe I was at some really expensive place for lunatics, because I was definitely losing my mind. So much had transpired that I didn’t know how I would move on. I knew that things would never be the same again.
My mouth was dry and I knew that wherever I was Devon wasn’t too far away.
“Devon,” I called out but it wasn’t loud enough, so I called again.
“Trina, I’m right here,” a voice said, but it didn’t sound like Devon’s.
I turned to face him.
No, he wasn’t Devon at all. He was some old man, with glasses.
What the hell is going on?
“Where is Devon?” I asked him trying to sit up.
“Trina, again, I am Devon. Come on; sit up straight so we can discuss what has happened.
Staring at him, he somewhat could have been an older version of Devon. Looking around the room, I started to realize where I was.
“Trina, let me refresh your memory, just in case you don’t remember. I am your therapist, Doctor Devon Jamison. I’ve been treating you for your depression and issues for the last few years; since your mother died. You’re happily married, but you have some issues about your past. In hopes of maybe recovering some repressed memories, you agreed to go under hypnosis. You were hypnotized for the last few hours. As explained earlier, this isn’t the old age hypnotizing that you are accustom to in magic shows. Now, hypnosis is an aid to psychotherapy, which we call hypnotherapy. Hypnotizing you should have taken you back to the past in hopes of finding a few unanswered questions, memories that you may have hidden or forced yourself to forget, especially those pertaining to your father. It’s been said that some even relive all over again, creating new events that could possibly explain the anxiety that you are feeling in your current state. So, I have to ask you Trina, did you find some answers? What happened? What did you see? Is it anything that could help you with your issues?” Doctor Devon Jamison said.
I couldn’t believe what I had heard. I had been hypnotized? So, I had been having something like a dream? But it felt so real.
So, nothing, no fake Devon, no Kareem, no dirty bonds, no gay husband, no dead Shanay…nothing that I remembered about the past two years had happened?
I was starting to remember coming to the appointment and agreeing to the hypnosis but still…I wasn’t convinced.
I searched my bag for my phone and went to Carter’s name. Surprisingly it started to ring…it wasn’t disconnected like I had remembered.
“Hey baby,” he answered.
Baby? My heart began to melt. I couldn’t believe that he had called me baby.
“Carter did you leave me for a man? Are you remarried with kids? What about Shanay…is she dead? ” I asked hurriedly and in somewhat of a panic.
“What? What are you talking about? No, I would never leave you. And I damn sure ain’t gay. I haven’t married anyone else, hell I’ve been married to you for the last ten years. We don’t have kids yet, but as soon as you get home, we can work on that. And if Shanay is dead…I don’t know anything about it; that must be her ghost that comes over to the house almost every other day. Damn, that must be one hell of a therapy session huh?” Carter joked.
“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you,” I said and for the first time in what seemed like such a long time…I smiled.
THE END
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“The Wrong Shade of Lipstick” by B.M. Hardin
Enjoy the Snippet Below:
Chapter One
“911, what’s your emergency?”
“Help me. Please…help me---”
One Year Earlier
I stood still; almost frozen as I watched my sister and my first love recite their wedding vows. I didn’t want anyone to notice how uncomfortable I was, but I just couldn’t seem to pull myself together. I was trying desperately to smile and not cry. Since I had never been too good at pretending; it was harder than I thought it would be. I desperately hoped that the fake grin plastered across my face would take the attention away from my trembling body. My hands were shaking uncontrollably. I held both sets of bouquets with a tight grip as they shook in silence.
No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn’t seem to stay still. Mimicking the facial expression of my parents and of everyone else in the church was impossible.
Though the pastor hadn’t gotten to that part yet, I wanted to raise my hand and object---but then again; what sense would that make? What right did I have?
I could picture the entire church chasing me down the street as if they were an angry mob; demanding an e
xplanation for my objection. The visual instinctively sent all the wrong signals to my mind and to the rest of my body. Needless to say; my objection hand got the message---bad idea.
The quietness that filled the church somewhat made me nervous as I feared that someone would hear the sound of my heart breaking. How could my own sister be marrying the first man I ever loved; the first man that ever loved me? It all just seemed so unreal. This just could not be happening. But indeed it was. Yet, no one knew of my heartache or of my pain; no one but me. And well, maybe he had an idea. Not that it seemed to matter all that much. It was obvious that he could have cared less about how I felt or what I was feeling. Otherwise he wouldn't have been standing there in a white tuxedo, about to marry my baby sister. In my sisters defense, she nor did anyone else for that matter have a clue that Zack and I had been an item. Our entire relationship had been a secret; especially to my side of the family---and well, I guess to Zack’s family too. Zack had never had the pleasure of meeting my parents when we were dating back then and I had only met his mother twice. But not as his girlfriend; it was under the impression that we were just friends; just in case she would want to meet my parents; which that definitely wasn’t going to happen. Glancing at her on the first row of the decorated pews, I wasn’t sure if she even remembered me. After all, why would she remember me---the secret?
Okay, let me explain.
Growing up as a preacher’s daughter wasn’t always easy. It came with more rules and regulations than a person could ever imagine. It was like prison; minus the crime and the bars. At least that's what it felt like to me.
Others may disagree. One of daddy’s, Pastor Parks, biggest and most enforced rules was that while under his roof… we were forbidden to date---at all. He never really took the time to explain why; I guess he felt as though he didn’t have to. If I had to guess, I would say that it was to avoid the whole sex before marriage thing or having a baby out of wedlock. I was sure that those were the reasons behind his actions but of course, what he said went in one of my ears and right back out of the other. What Pastor Parks said never seemed to matter to me and it damn sure never stopped me from doing what I wanted to do. What he didn’t know wouldn't hurt him. And even if it did, I'm sure I wouldn't have given a damn.